• Published 5th Nov 2012
  • 2,785 Views, 51 Comments

The Prodigal Pies Return - Bronetheus



Blinkie Pie has to cope with the fame and fortune of her successful siblings.

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Chapter 2

“Pinkie Pie, you know this animal needs water, right?” Fluttershy asked her friend, who was starting some early-morning construction in front of one of Ponyville's nearby lakes, preparing a hulking transport cage lined with big, fluffy pillows. The entire site was covered by a camouflage sheet, the kind used to hide activity on the ground from fliers.

“Hmm.” Pinkie reflected, scratching her chin with her hoof. “How much water, and how often?”

“Um, a lot. And constantly.”

“Well, let's see here...”

Pinkie unfolded her blueprints and spread them out on the grass. She took a pencil in her teeth and began to erase and scribble with it. Fluttershy peeked over her shoulder and noticed that they appeared to be plans for a carriage or cart of some kind. They were actually fairly intricate designs as well, with perfectly straight lines, smooth, measured angles, and neat annotations. Fluttershy's doubts that Pinkie had made them herself vanished when the adjustments were done in the same manner. Wait, Fluttershy thought. How is she even going to have space for that? Before she could attempt to work out the practicality of it, Pinkie closed the plans up.

"There!" she said triumphantly—and awkwardly, before she spat out the pencil. "That won't be a problem at all. Thanks Fluttershy!"

"How far are you taking him?" Fluttershy inquired, taking half a step forward and leaning her head closer. "How long are you going to be gone? Will he have plenty to eat there? He needs a lot of food..."

"Don't you worry your candy-flavored little head about it, little sis," said Pinkie, oblivious to Fluttershy's annoyed twitch. "I'll have him back safe and sound. I'm just borrowing him for Blinkie's New Tens Digit party. You know how special those have to be."

"You're taking him to a rock farm?" the pegasus asked with a mixture of disbelief and horror.

"I would never ask if it wasn't important." Pinkie Pie put on a pair of diving goggles with a dramatic snap from the bands. She adjusted the length of her snorkel, then marched to the water with her jaw set firmly. Her neon green flipper shoes sent water splashing everywhere.


Pinkie Pie decided to tackle the other time-sensitive item on her pre-birthday checklist next. She switched the speed of her walk toward the Carousel Boutique several times, trying to decide how much of a rush she should appear to be in. Of course, this did little more than arouse suspicious she was trying to avoid. She drew even more odd looks than usual from the strollers taking advantage of the chance to breathe the morning air, the bustling ponies late for work, the gaggles of fillies off of school, and the crotchety elders playing the kinds of games that old ponies love to play. She was already loaded down with some of the necessary supplies she had acquired from her best-but-not-as-best friends, but the fact that they were concealed in bulging bags at her sides caused a buzz of discussion. Many Ponyville citizens had undergone the singular experience of attending one of Pinkie's New Tens Digit birthday bashes, but they had never seen her throw one for a family member. Perhaps that explained the extra lengths she was going to to ensure it remained a surprise, even though none of them would be there.

Pinkie Pie knocked on the Boutique's door, and Rarity's bespectacled face peaked out from behind it.

"There you are!" Rarity exclaimed, opening the door wide for her friend to pass. "I was expecting you. Please come in. Can I get you anything?"

"There are a whole lot of things you can get me," Pinkie said as she darted around the shop, closing all of the windows and pulling the shades.

"Pinkie, dear," said Rarity as she was cast into darkness, "you know my store is going to open in about ten minutes, right? What are you doing?"

"There are spies everywhere in this town. I need to check the room for bugs."

Rarity looked on speechlessly as Pinkie Pie turned over her vases, pulled up her rugs, peeked under her fabrics, and generally turned the place upside-down. Patience, Rarity, she said to herself. Just make it through today and she'll be gone for a week.

"I found one!" the earth pony shouted.

"What? Why would anypony want to bug my boutique?"

"Let's find out." Pinkie lifted the ladybug she had discovered up to eye level and glared at it. "Spill the beans, spy."

The two stared intensely at each other, the insect moving its mouth wordlessly. Rarity sighed and began restoring order to her place of business. "Pinkie Pie, could we please—"

"Hold on." Shortly, the contest was over, and the ladybug flew away and out of a window Rarity had snuck open. "I knew it! Wow, she was good. We should be okay now though." Pinkie pulled out several sheets of paper from her bag and presented them to the unicorn. "Can you make six and a half copies of this costume?"

Rarity squinted at the designs. "You want me to make half of a costume?”

"No, that would be ridiculous. I want you to make six and a half. Would that be too much trouble?"

"I must confess that I have little idea how this would work," Rarity said as her horn illuminated to pull the sketches closer.

"I know it's super ambitious," admitted Pinkie Pie, "but that's why I came to you. You're the best designer, like, ever, so I thought 'Rarity!' right away."

"I'm uncertain if I should be teaching you manipulation, or learning it from you," Rarity said with a slight twitter. "Nevertheless, your heart is in the right place, so I will happily do this for you, somehow. You said it was for your sister's twentieth birthday party, correct? This will be my gift to her."

"Oh, you don't have to do that. I'm not bringing gifts from anypony else."

"Do any of them have a business to expand?" Before Pinkie Pie could think too hard about the question, Rarity kept talking. "I can see it now. Hundreds of dour little rock farmers working all day and night in the dirt, not a bright or charming thing for all the eye to see. But suddenly, what's this? Their faces light up for the first time in years when packages from the Carousel Boutique start arriving at their quaint little homesteads! Their very own uniforms, at my bulk discount rates, no less! Won't that be delightful?"

Pinkie was gone. In her place, there was a note:

Hey Rarity, this is Pinkie Pie. I just wanted to say thank you so much. I would have said so right away, but you were talking a lot and starting to daydream. You were obviously enjoying it, so I decided I would leave you to it and go take care of some other important stuff. You really are the best!

-Pinkie Pie

Contrary to her expectations, Rarity found herself smiling with amusement rather than relief. For the most part.


The frown that crossed Pinkie Pie's face upon bidding a week-long farewell to all of her friends in Ponyville lasted for two and three-quarters of a second. But she soon lost count of the amount of seconds she spent grinning about the massive wagon she was pulling and how happy it was going to make her family. Scrawled across the bulging, strained tarp which enveloped the entirety of its contents were the words "Blinkie Pie's Birthday Carty". She giggled every time she thought of the name.

Even though the going was tough and slow, she was an earth pony, darnit, so she pulled it, and she made up some songs to sing along the way too. Many birds were drawn by the sound, but they were completely unable to follow either the melody or the lyrics. They passed confused looks among each other, but Pinkie's mood was infectious. They each began to sing their own songs, which made the pony's grin enormous. No more frowns would be had today!

Propelled by her strength, her spirit, and the power of whatever-it-is-Pinkie-Pie-does, she and her cart reached the Pie Family Rock Plantation in record time, considering the massive load she was carrying. In a little over two days, with occasional rests in the fields, she came around a bend in the road and smelled her home once again.

Pinkie had a hard time explaining the effect even to herself, but there was something particular about the earth here. No place in the world smelled quite like it. No matter how drab the landscape, no matter how boring the memory, the stony scent always remained, and with it came a sense of comfort she had otherwise only ever felt when she was with Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity.

Every year she came back, it was a little weird trying to associate the rocky aroma filling her nostrils with the brown and gray dreariness and drudgery that was most of her life as a filly. The weirdness reduced the size of her grin somewhat, but it was still at a healthy proportion when Octavia and Vinyl Scratch, camped out on blankets around their cart, caught sight of her. Pinkie's older sister rushed out to meet her immediately. Vinyl followed close behind, though less in a happy trot and in more of a downcast walk.

"Hi girls!" Pinkie shouted, detaching herself from her hefty burden and bouncing toward them. "The BPBC is ready!"

"Hello, Pinkamena," Octavia said as she wrangled her hopping sister into a hug.

"Hey, Pinkster," Vinyl said with a small, wan smile.

"Are you the welcoming committee?" Pinkie asked, craning her head around. "Where's everypony else?"

"Oh," said Octavia, "they're getting things ready inside. Only two days left, you know. We're, uh, taking a break. So what's that?" She waved a hoof at Pinkie's wagon.

"Blinkie Pie's Birthday Carty!" A burst of confetti exploded out of the side of the cart as Pinkie gestured grandly toward it.

"What's in it?" Octavia asked, wiping a streamer out of her mane.

"It has to be a surprise for everypony for it to work," Pinkie replied. "Even you, big sis."

"We weren't taking a break," Vinyl interrupted.

"Oh, Dolce, don't. Not now."

Vinyl brushed Octavia's outstretched hoof aside. "I made a huge mess of things, Pinkie. I'm not sure this party is going to go down like we'd hoped."

Seeing Vinyl's mouth turn downward, Pinkie Pie did a hoof stand so that she was standing upside-down, correcting the unicorn's expression. It made Octavia's wrong for a moment, but soon it turned back into a smile, from Pinkie's point of view at least. "Whatever it is, don't worry about it. Just wait until you see the costumes I got for us!" she said.

"I tried to help with the rock rotation, and my magic destroyed the gems while they were still growing." Vinyl pawed at the dirt, unable to look Pinkie in the eye.

"So what?" Pinkie said, wobbling as the blood started rushing to her head. "It's just a bunch of rocks. We have a New Tens Digit birthday in less than forty-six hours! Priorities!"

"You know," Vinyl said, after recovering from a moment of shock, "I was kind of thinking the same thing. I mean, yeah, it sucks that those rocks can't make diamonds and stuff anymore, but there will be more rocks, right? And isn't it a good thing that we can get some green stuff growing around here again?"

"Excuse me?" Octavia gaped. "This is my family's livelihood you're so flippantly dismissing!"

"I wasn't doing anything flippantly, Sweet."

"Don't tell me you did this on purpose."

"What? No, I would never! I was trying to help, honestly!"

Pinkie Pie didn't know which way she could turn her body to change their faces into smiles now. "Let me go talk to mom and dad," she said, cutting off their argument. "I'll sort this out if my name isn't Pinkamena Diane Responsibility Pie.”

"It isn't mom and dad you have to worry about," her sister said gravely. "It's Blinkadette."

“Blinkie? No way! She danced for three hours straight at last year's Summer Sun Celebration. She's no fuddy-duddy.”

“You'll have to talk to her soon anyway,” Octavia replied, trying not to grin at the memory of Blinkie's drunken antics that night. “So you should go inside for now. We're going to stay out here for a little while longer.” She glared at her partner, who was staring off to the side.

“I don't like it, but I will.” Pinkie said reluctantly, bringing her body back down to all fours. “You have to promise me one thing though. Guard the BPBC, and fill up that water tank on the side if it gets too low. I'll be back as soon as I can.”

“Sure,” Vinyl Scratch said with a laugh. It was suppressed by nervousness, but it was a laugh nonetheless. Octavia nodded.

As reluctant as the assent was, Pinkie decided she would have to take it. She began humming the catchiest song she could think of in the hopes that it would distract the pair of lovers, and then quickly made her way up the path to her family's house. Even at her speed, and with all the distractions running through her head, the feel of this specific length of dirt under her hooves made Pinkie's heart jump. Before she could even knock, the door opened up for her.

“Pancakes!” She yelped as the scents from inside wafted out toward her. She jumped straight up into the air, and was about to dash inside, when she noticed that her parents were standing just inside the door too. “I mean, mom and dad!”

“Go ahead, Pinkamena,” Rose said, knowing full well what the consequences might be if her daughter's appetite was not satisfied.

“Thanks!” After a whoosh of air, Pinkie was at the kitchen table, scarfing down a mountain of pancakes covered in, she noted with a giggle, Apple Family brand apple syrup. Rose and Clyde Pie walked in, watching their youngest child eat with bemused grins on their faces.

“Mrwhrwfgh,” Pinkie said.

“Pinkamena, swallow your food before you speak,” her dad chided.

“Mrwhrwfgh,” Pinkie repeated after gulping down her bite. “It's an old earth nation word that means something like 'I love you and everything else.' All six of us were in some ruins a few weeks ago and we uncovered some kind of spooky portal to the past. We learned that they weren't big on vowels, or my songs, if you can imagine that.”

“I'd love to hear all about that, Pinkamena,” Clyde said as he gazed out of the window, toward their empty field. “I've got a lot of work to do right now though.”

“Oh, you mean the stage?” Pinkie Pie asked. “Just wait for me to finish eating so I can get my energy back—I am so beat—and then I'll be right there.”

“No, not the stage. You should—” He turned to leave, blocking his face from her view. “You should talk to your mother about that.” The front door opened and closed.

“Huh?” she said, mechanically pulling what little remained of the breakfast her parents had kept warm for her onto her plate. “Is he planning a surprise for me too!? Oh gosh, I hope so! This is going to be the greatest day ever.”

“Listen, dear,” Rose Pie said slowly, taking a seat next to Pinkie. “We might need to postpone the party. A lot of unexpected things came up yesterday, and we're going to be really busy for a while. Blinkadette won't mind waiting a month for the wonderful celebration I'm sure you have planned.”

“Oh come on, mom.” Pinkie laughed. “Why wait a month when we can do it now? Think how much better work will be with the buzz from a spectacular party to back it up!”

“Pinkie,” a voice whispered right after the stairs leading to the second floor creaked slightly. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” Blinkie Pie's voice was hoarse, but it was unmistakable. Pinkie shoved her plate of food away with only slight regret and bounded up to meet her. Rose began cleaning the dishes, but quietly enough that she would be able to hear.

“Hi Blinkie!” Pinkie beamed. “I missed you. How have you been? Are you excited?”

“Come upstairs?” The skin around Blinkie's eyes was wrinkled and baggy, and the eyes themselves were laced with crimson and dry as a desert.

“Ooo, is this another surprise like dad's? You know it's your party coming up, not mine, right?”

Blinkadette made her way back to her room, motioning for her sister to follow. Everything, including the bed, had been covered by neat stacks of papers. These papers were filled with far too many numbers and far too few pictures for Pinkie's liking. An easel was barely visible in the corner, and the canvas mounted on it had some preliminary charcoal sketching on it. The paint cans were all closed up though, and the brushes were dry.

“So, about the party,” Blinkie began as she idly rummaged through some of the paperwork, with no particular goal in mind.

“Hey,” Pinkie said, sitting next to her sister and wrapping a foreleg around her shoulders. “I can tell something serious is up.”

Blinkie turned toward her sister with a hopeful smile. She stepped closer eagerly. Maybe this talk was going to be much easier than she thought.

“Did you change your wish list?” Pinkie said, physically checking off a mental checklist.“Are zombies or ghosts nearby? Did you invite a special somepony?”

Blinkie's face scrunched into a scowl. Pinkie almost reeled back at the sight.

“I've been thinking a lot,” said the straight-maned Pie sister. “I know how much you put into these parties, and I know how much they mean to you. I appreciate them, and they've made my life so much happier. But I'm not going to be able to do it this year.”

Pinkie said nothing, didn't even move, so Blinkadette continued talking and staring at the same page she'd been staring at for the past few minutes. “There's too much going on right now. Why don't we push back all the plans until next year? I know a twenty-first birthday should probably be different from a twentieth, but I just can't do it, Pinkie. I can't.”

Blinkie turned to another piece of paper, but only so she could hide the teardrop that had fallen onto the previous one.

“I mean, I love making money for our family. I love making deals with other ponies. I even love filing. But aside from my painting, that's all my life is. The only other ponies I know are the same ones I knew at school. My best friends are married, with foals. My crushes are married, with foals. All the rest are gone. I don't want to be rich and famous like Octavia and that friend of hers. I don't even know what I do want, Pinkie, but I know it's not this. Please, tell me you understand. Don't go ballistic and try to cheer me up. Don't try to throw the same party, or a bigger one, anyway. I'm not an Element of Harmony like you, who can just use magic to make herself feel better whenever she wants. Just give me some space. Okay?”

Blinkie held her breath. Serious talks almost never sat well with Pinkie, but maybe this time it would, just maybe. After a few seconds of feeling her insides twisting themselves into knots, she glanced over at her sibling.

Pinkie's face was contorted into a look of pure shock. Eyes wide, jaw dropped, mane sticking straight backward as if it had been blown back by a gust of wind and then gelled in place.

“Pinkie?” Blinkie ventured. No response. “Sis?” She gingerly poked the pink pony in the ribs. The body was still warm and breathing, but it didn't even blink. “Oh no.” She cupped her head in her hooves. “Now I've gone and done it.”

After taking a few shaky, lip-biting seconds to compose herself, she turned around and yelled downstairs. “Mom!”

“Yes dear?” Rose asked, conspicuously clattering some pans.

“I froze Pinkamena again! I'm sorry!”

“Alright.” She swore she could hear her mother's weary sigh as she spoke. “I'll get the water ready. You go grab the net.”

Pinkie had not been reduced to this statue-like state since the time she had discovered there was going to be a temporary sugar shortage in Ponyville. It had not been easy getting her back to normal after that.

“Well,” Blinkadette said with a bitter laugh. “At least what I said stuck...”