After Rainbow Dash fails to perform the sonic rainboom that gets the mane 6 their cutie marks, their lives are drastically altered. Delve into their new fates as they unwind, from Rainbow Dash's failure, to when they unite to take down Nightmare Moon. Watch these young fillies grow as they go on a collision course with destiny that will shape not only their lives, but each other's.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Not bad, indeed.
I'll be looking forward to the other 4 chapters !
Seconded, this does make me curious. I don't know how they'll turn out, and you clearly have a lot to say about your subject. Even with the "Sad" and "Dark" tags, I'm actually picking up a little optimism, here and there. I hope you either cultivate it for a grand finish, or squash it soundly, as is your whim. ^^
I always love surprises in great stories. And this is no exception. The idea of this fanfic is just genius. I really love the concept of "what would it be like if this were not to happen?".
I love the connections. I like how Pinkamena Diane Pie finds the geode (a rock with crystals inside) first before Rarity ever does. That is brilliant.
I'm loving where the sub-plot about Rarity and the diamond dogs is going.
I found it odd how Twilight reacts to her failure. But, she is a filly, so I shouldn't be too harsh on that subject. And Rainbow Dash's scene was great and everything. Except...police? Court? Juvenile facility? ...Those just sound pretty farfetched to me.
But aside from that, this is getting very good so far. Definitely catches my curiosity. I really hope to see more of this real soon.
205591
Thanks for the feedback, it means a lot!
I'll admit, that part with Dash was kind of a stretch.
Twilight's part is just about anger coming from sadness, so she lashed out. That part I don't think was a stretch, after all she is just a child; basically this is a temper tantrum that went way out of hand.
This was so bad it gave me cancer.
209524
Okay.
Not even constructive criticism, but okay.
So far, I'm liking how even though the original set up didn't go as planned, things still turn out all right. Especially in this chapter with Pinkie and Applejack.
So far, this story is both sad, but also heartwarming. An excellent combination.
Keep up the great work.
I hope the chapters get longer as you add more to this story, as the first couple of chapters could be considered the simple intro ones. Also I'm curious as to what you will do with Fluttershy. She landed in that forest and was caught by a flock of Butterflies, will she be happy, sad or perhaps guilt-ridden because of RD's imprisonment in the Juvenile detention facility?
I'm really interested in Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash's stories since we have a pretty good idea what everyone else excluding Fluttershy is doing. But Filly Twilight growing up after stealing a Dragon Egg, sounds really fascinating. I'd love to see what happens to her, maybe meeting Trixie and become her travelling companion/co-host/assistant.
I could even see Rainbow Meeting Gilda in the detention facility or being rescued from it by a combined effort from Gilda and Fluttershy, Fluttershy having to go to Griffonia, Griffhala or wahtever you call the Griffon homelands and track down Gilda for help.
Edit: Anyway I really enjoy this story, short though the chapters may be. And I look forward to reading more, definitely tracking
Aw man you put Little Dashie in juvey
An update
. You have my attention son.
Very brief I must say. But still, it got an important factor in the story. How Gilda and Rainbow Dash met.
This is starting to make great sense now.
so, you´re giving raruty´s fate to pinkie.
nice twist.
Interesting, Twilight meets young Trixie
. Good chapter, needs a little work in regards to some words, like here "She knew wouldn't see something" There should be a she after knew. Also Everfree is a forest not a jungle, you should fix that.
Ah, Trixie. I am curious to know of her past.
Very decent writing, nice descriptions. Keep on going.
542498
Thanks,
I can't believe I missed that first part, I'm usually better with things like that.
And technically Trixie would've been wrong, not me, but I changed it anyway.
Thanks for reading!
I'm intrigued.
How sweet this chapter has been.
Pinkie can be a real friend at times such as this.
609448
Yeah, she's sticking to AJ like caramel on an apple.
And how curious that nurse was...
>> Antisocialtwilight Awesome Move Friendshipping Trixie and Twilight!
I can't wait to see how there story develops!
Awesomeness!
Me likey.
What happened to spikes egg?
Bum Bum Bum Bum...
So far we've got... Rainbow in juvvie,Applejack in a coma, a non party pinkie, Twilight on the run from law, and Rairity who has sold her soul to the Diomand dogs............. What happened to Spike and where's Fluttershy?!?!?!
823784
Twilight still has it, I wouldn't forgot about such a big detail.
823986
As for Fluttershy...well, all in good time. To be fair, Rarity hasn't sold her soul, but I didn't name him Smooth Talker for nothing.
824236 I find the shortness of the chapters disappointing
but the story as a whole makes up for it. You can tell a good story, perhaps the next chapter you could make it a joint one? Like have Rarity's part of the story and then jump to Rainbow Dash in juvenile corrections or Twilight and Trixie Hatching Spike. Basically write up two chapters and then stick-em together?
Anyway nice work so far. I look forward to seeing where you go with this.
I can't wait to see what happens next!
I like. Continue.
I loved that dream sequence. It felt so real reading it. When Applejack was getting her pie and party, I was fooled for a moment that it was really happening. And when she first sees the card on the table and then wakes, that really sounded what an actual dream is like.
Please keep writing.
Nice chapter, please continue
So whose barn was it?
1027130
Flim and Flam's.
Or maybe it was the Apple Family's...
What about her parents?
1027193
Who, Rainbow Dash's? They're never shown, and what could they have done? She broke the law, she went to Juvy. I know, it's a stretch, please bear with me and just go with it.
Were those Lunar Loyalists?
1027253
You could say that, but I'm just gonna call them Nightmare Goons, or Nightmares. But generally the same thing, I suppose, yes.
Something tells me that if RD finds her, she and Twilight are gonna become good friends due to their statuses.
This was a good chapter and a very interesting one too. Looking forward to seeing how the next one plays out.
You have improved quite a bit. The intensity is good and the motives of the characters are well written.
While still a little weird, I went along with this story so far.
Hope to see more on the way!
so are there coming more chapters or is this dead?
I mean this is Chapter was from one year ago.