Four Man Cheeseburger Apocalypse

by Dihinner

Fight in the Flood

The room was a warzone. Under normal circumstances, the five infected would be dead by now.

But these aren’t normal circumstances.

The loud spwang of Nick’s frying pan making contact with an infected vibrated across the room along with the various other sounds, such as Ellis’s guitar cracking the spine of the Jockey while it attacked Coach or the disgusting sound of the Boomer barfing all over everything that in an attempt to hit someone. And, of course, the yelling as the Tank ripped chunks of concrete from who knows where and threw them across the room.
All of this was surprisingly amusing to Discord, whose damaged stone body slowly cracked open to reveal the spirit of chaos. Well, it was amusing until the Tank got a lucky shot with the concrete and it clipped his left arm. Discord moved his left arm to check what happened. To his fascination and surprise, his arm hurt. This confused him greatly, ‘how can I be injured? All my previous injured healed themselves instantly.’ This caused Discord, in an attempt to get out of the way of the crossfire, to edge away to a far wall where he watched the grand confrontation between the survivors, ponies and the infected.

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“Oh shit!” yelled Nick as he narrowly dodged the enraged Witch’s claws. The infected screamed at him again as he fled. Ellis ran in-between Nick and the Witch and swung his blood stained guitar right into the Witch’s face. It screamed again as it changed targets.

“Help!” cried out Ellis as the Witch shoved him to the ground and started to tear away at his chest with its claws.

“Hold on!” shouted Rochelle as she shoved Pinkie pie, who was still hurting from the Hunter attack, out of the way of incoming Boomer puke, which landed on her instead. “Shit!” she yelled as the puke obscured her already limited vision.

She stumbled around until she ran into the leader of the assault, the Smoker. It wheezed angrily at her as she shoved it away. With the barf finally out of her eyes, she had just enough time to see the Smoker’s long tongue wrap around her waist and drag her away.

“Hold on Ro!” yelled Coach as he swung the dazed body of the Jockey away and ran towards the tongue.

The situation was turning in favor of the infected as all attempts with magic against the Tank proved futile. In fact, Discord noticed that magic seemed to not only do nothing against the Tank, but none of the other infected ether. ‘How strange,’ he thought as he tried to inflate the Jockey into a balloon. To his astonishment, his magic didn’t work ether. ‘Well hello, what’s this?’ he tried everything against the infected to only have it do nothing. By the time he was finished trying, he noticed that he had been spotted not only by Celestia, but by the Smoker (who Rochelle had narrowly escaped with the aid of Coach) as well. He tried to hide behind a supporting pillar when a long coil of slimy flesh wrapped around his chest.

“Gah!” he shouted as started to be dragged across the room to the Smoker, who he could swear was smiling evilly at him.

Just as the Smoker finished reeling in his confused prey, Rochelle flung her axe across the room, in an attempt to hit the Tank, but missed and cut the Smoker’s tongue just as it had Discord within arm’s length. The spirit of chaos clawed away at the tongue only to come face to face with the Boomer.

“Oh, and what are you supposed to do?” he asked sarcastically, “roll on me?”

The Boomer, as if he caught on to Discord’s sarcasm, threw up on him and started to slap him with its stubby hands.

While this was going on, The Smoker made an angry sound and kicked away the axe and fled from sight. She turned to see Ellis trying to shove the Witch away in vain as it tore away at him. “Nick!” she shouted, “Help Ellis!”

“Uh, kinda busy right now!” he shouted back as he avoided another chunk of concrete thrown by the Tank. Rarity, Twilight and Celestia had tried to stop the infected but soon learned, like with Discord, their magi had no effect on the freaks. Instead, they tried to stop as many chunks of concrete as they could while Nick beat it with his frying pan while Applejack tried to kick its legs.

“HEEELLLP!” yelled Ellis his vision started to fade. ‘No, no, no!’ he thought desperately, ‘I can’t die now!’ suddenly, just as his vision was going completely black, he heard shouting and screaming along with a menacing crack followed by something falling on him. He held on to consciousness for a bit longer and looked for the dead Witch that should be lying on the ground. To his surprise, there were no traces of the witch besides his crippling chest wounds. As he tried to make sense of what happened, he heard Rainbow dash shouting at him to get up.

“Come on! My leg is broken and I’m still faster than you! Get up!” she shouted at him as he rolled over, making her hover in the air, and slowly got to his feet.

“Thanks,” Ellis said weakly as he grabbed his guitar off the floor and used it as a crutch. He turned to see Nick, Applejack and the Tank fighting across the room and started to limp towards them to help. He squinted to get a better look at them as he continued walking. “Ugh, I’m hurt so bad I can’t even see right,” he muttered.

Discord wasn’t fairing any better. His hand to hand combat was rust after using magic for nearly all his life. And being encased in stone for centuries didn’t help the problem ether. Although, he had managed to drive the Boomer off by the time he got his vision back. He spun around to come face to face with a terrified Fluttershy.

“Eep!” she squeaked, unprepared to see Discord again.

Discord, despite the situation, chuckled, “ah, my weak and helpless little Fluttershy, please be a dear and move out of the way?”

Afraid of the spirit of chaos, she bolted and Discord started to search for the Smoker, annoyed at how the creature had humiliated him with just its tongue. Discord spun around upon hearing the loud cough of the Smoker, who was facing Discord with its tongue regrown.

“Well, well, well,” said Discord, “what do we have here?” he walked over to the Smoker. Of course, he could have flown or even teleported to the infected but, he wanted to make this battle dramatic. And so, he walked.

“Ahhhhhow!” coughed the Smoker. Discord raised his eyebrow.

“Oh my, is the smoke sack in pain?” he asked with sarcastic worry, “well we’ll just have to do something about that won’t we?” he said as he charged at the Smoker. Discord was mildly impressed with the Smoker’s height, equally rivaling his own, as the two traded blows. Discord could claw away at the Smoker but the infected had more experience with melee combat. They were, more or less, equal in the fight.

As the fight of the two giants waged on, Rainbow dash was aiding in the Tank fight, zooming up to it and hitting it on her was back. The beast bellowed in rage at the pain that this ragtag group was causing it. It swung its arm out and grabbed the speeding Rainbow dash in its giant fist.

Rainbow dash made a strange chocking sound as the Tank gripped her in his fist. After bellowing one more, he threw Rainbow dash at Pinkie pie, which was sheltering near Twilight, Rarity and Celestia. All three of whom were still trying to prevent the Tank from throwing concrete chunks. Rainbow dash skidded to a halt just inches from Pinkie pie.

“You’ll pay for that…” she muttered as she got back to her hooves and took off again to get revenge on the Tank. Unfortunately, she failed to notice the Jockey who was laughing manically at the fight. Lightning flashed outside the hole the Tank made as the Jockey leaped from its perch and landed on the cyan Pegasus.

“What the?!” she yelled as the Jockey began to steer her into the angry Boomer.

“Blureg,” it gurgled as it threw up its stomach fluids on the Pegasus.

“Ahh! What is this stuff?” she yelled as the Jockey continued to make her fly all across the room. She eventually crashed onto the soaked floor as the rain poured in through the broken window. “Uuhh,” she muttered as she saw the Jockey run off to attack someone else.

She’d felt bad before, but never this bad. She had the strangest feeling that made her want to sleep. ‘Sleep,’ she thought, ‘I could go far a nap about now…’

Just as she was about to give in to the sleep, she felt a sharp jab to her stomach. She looked up and saw a figure in front of her. It looked slightly like the survivors, but looked older and had a pale blue hue. In its hands he had a strange grey object. Rainbow dash stared weakly at the being.

“Get up,” it commanded.

“But I’m tired,” she muttered weakly.

“I’m too old for this horseshit,” it muttered, “look, if you don’t haul ass right now you’re going to end up like me.”

“And what’s your problem?” she asked, starting to fall asleep again.

“I’m dead.”

Rainbow dash stared at the figure and got a good look at it. It was wearing a faded green jacket and grey pants. In his hands was that grey thing. It had a beard and a green hat with a small sun-like halo above his head.

“Now, I don’t want to see your sorry ass all over the floor,” it said, “now, haul ass before that Tank tears you friends to shreds.”

“Who are you?” she asked.

The figure stared at her, “the name’s Bill.”

Rainbow dash slowly got to her hooves, cringing when she accidently put weight on her broken one, as she got up to face the Tank once more. She turned to Bill to thank him but to her surprise, all evidence of Bill being there were gone except for a single shot on the floor. She stared at it. On the label in bold letters it said ‘adrenaline shot.’

“Adrenaline shot?” she wondered aloud. She knew what adrenaline was and it was unopened, there for unused. ‘Why not?’ She thought as she used her mouth and wings to pull off the cap off and injected it into her right foreleg. A surge of energy spread through Rainbow dash’s body as the effects of the adrenaline surged through her blood stream. She bolted off to the Tank and repeatedly kicked its small head.

Lightning flashed through the room as the tables of the fight were turning in favor of the survivors and ponies. The Smoker had fled from his fight with Discord in an attempt to ensnare a survivor. Coach had given Ellis his spare pain pills and they were helping Nick, Rainbow dash and Applejack with the Tank while Twilight, Rarity and the princess were starting to fling the chunks of concrete back at the Tank. Rochelle had located her axe and just recently buried it into the spike of the Jockey, killing it instantly. Pinkie pie was being aided by Fluttershy to the far end of the room to avoid conflict.

Soon the Tank was completely surrounded. Roars, metal clanging, chainsaw coming contact with flesh and various other sounds had filled the room. The water caused by the rain was starting to pool around the Tank and the survivors. Suddenly, lightning flashed just outside that gave Ellis an idea.

“Hey, what if we get a lightning bolt to hit the water like it did last time?” he shouted over the sounds.

“Yeah and how did that end last time?” asked Nick as he dodged the first of the Tank.

Ellis spin around and slammed his guitar into the Tank’s back, it roared and Ellis jumped out of the way. “True, true, we ended in another dimension but hey, who’s to say it won’t send us back?”

“As dumb as it sounds, Ellis’s plan is just as good as any other we’ve had,” yelled Coach as he brought the chainsaw down on the Tank again, “rrng! Nerng!” he grunted as the Tank blood started to splash all over him and onto anyone near. The Tank flung his arm and flung Coach away. “Shit!”

Meanwhile, while Fluttershy was helping Pinkie pie with her Hunter wounds, the Boomer somehow snuck up behind them and gave out a large belch, covering them in puke.

“Ahh!” Pinkie pie screamed as some of the bile leaked onto her wounds, causing intense stinging.

Fluttershy also yelled but it was muffled by some bandages that were still on her face by the Spitter attack. The two unintentionally ran in the midst of the chaos just as Discord found the Smoker again.

“Oh what’s this?” he asked the Smoker, his voice with hints of amusement and sarcasm, as it turned to the embodiment of chaos, “did you honestly think you could flee from me?”

The Smoker made a loud rasping sound as it fired its tongue at Discord. Discord however, was prepared for this and used his right claw to cut it in half. The Smoker was slightly taken aback at this as Discord came closer.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, levitating himself off the flooded floor, “tongue tied?”

The Smoker, doing the oldest and noblest of Smoker/Spitter traditions, fled to the Tank in hopes of cover. There the four survivors were fighting the Tank along with six ponies while Celestia was still blocking the concrete chunks from a distance to keep an eye on Discord, who had somehow avoided most attention. The water on the floor had a mix of blood, mud, gas from the chainsaw, blood from nearly everyone and, of course, Boomer bile. The Tank roared again, this time pulling a pipe that ran under the floor, and lifted it over its head and blocking the broken window. The sky had grown immensely darker as he glanced outside. Another bolt of lightning cracked through the sky and hit the nearest metal object: the pipe the Tank was holding. The lightning surged through the pipe and the Tank, which electrocuted the various liquids and solids in the water.

Ten of which were the survivors and the six ponies.

The Tank roared in immense pain along with everything else in it. A loud explosion echoed through the room that signaled the Boomer’s death. The water flashed with the raw electricity in it and covered the room in a bright light. When it cleared, the Tank had disappeared. Celestia and Discord watched the events from the safety of being in flight. But, along with the absence of the Tank, they noticed something else too.
The four survivors were missing.

Along with Twilight, Rarity, Pinkie pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow dash and Applejack.

A quiet wail from the Witch in the distance echoed throughout the room…

Comments

[Dihinner]

"that... was for Bill!"

Left 4 Dead 2 'the Passing' Louis upon killing a Tank with the heavy machine gun.

[Vinnoe]

sounds like not only the survivors, but the mane six MAY have ended up in the survivors zombie infested world. this is just a guess. i dont really know what will happen.

[Spiky]

1717669 that was awesome i loved it how you put bill in this story

[Hi]

Peonies shall all die in zems world

[Mother3Forever]

Was Bill from the prequel or something?

[Dihinner]

1720701

prequel?

haven't never made one

he is kinda like a ghost mentor

[Mother3Forever]

1720911Actually, THIS is him.

http://left4dead.wikia.com/wiki/Bill

From the ORIGINAL Left For Dead.

[Dihinner]

1721613

yes i know who bill was.

i thought you ment from a prequel story.

my bad