• Member Since 21st Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Chessie


T

60 years have passed since Luna's return. Many things have changed, and not all for the better. But even in the run-down, crime-ridden urban sprawl of Detrot, one facet of Equestria seems determined to withstand any test of time: Ponies love a good celebration.

This year's Nightmare Night party at the Detrot Police Department Headquarters was shaping up to be one of the most magnificent yet, but when a magical mishap leaves Detective Hardy stranded in a cell with his partner, his driver, the eccentric city coroner, and several crates of cupcake vodka, the evening descends instead into alcohol-soaked reminiscence about a Nightmare Night long past...

This is a Nightmare Night special episode of Starlight Over Detrot: A Noir Tale.
Cover art by the talented Akasashi (http://akashasi.deviantart.com/)

Chapters (3)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 91 )

That this story exists makes me inexplicably happy.

Actually, I think I can explain it: your writing is awesome. There we go :)

A story about detroit? THAT'S WHAT'S UP!:pinkiehappy::yay:

I rubbed my freshly bruised behind, rolling over onto all four hooves. “Can’t I just go as ‘overworked cop?’”

How horrifying!

A smile peeked from her lips. I gave her a wink, which for some reason made her blush damn near fuschia.

“Sir, you’re very pretty as a mare.” She murmured softly.

Not sure if swift + taxi shipping or swift + hardy shipping :-p

If there were ever a city-wide emergency on a Nightmare Night, it would likely have been handled by the most mad and eclectic police force ever seen by pony eyes.

Oh man I’d love to see that!

I was cornered. My opponents had estrogen, alcohol, and insanity on their sides. Three forces, immutable when united.

Mother of god


Oh hey hardy as a colt, so cute!

“Look, you can be a ‘gypsy,’ but don’t actually read anypony’s fortune. Just make some stuff up if they ask this time, okay? You remember what happened when you had that little origami folding fortune toy, right? I think the principal was red-faced for a month.”

bahahahaa
huh shiny as a fortune teller, you know now i think about it having "the shining" means being able to read the future. But i can't remember where i heard that.

Well that was interesting, more!
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/250x250/27227830.jpg

1545948 huh i recall having a chat with a paramedic a few years ago and he'd tell us about how he had to remove all sorts of things from peoples backsides, from hairbrushes to broom handles.

1546631 Well, because I am made of fail, you're gonna get a LOT more of this freakin' side-fic. At least two weeks worth, possibly more.

I tried. I really tried to write a short story. We've already got a further 10k written on this and it's only two thirds finished so look for at least three parts before we manage to claw our way back to the main story.

I swear, it's like every time I try to speed up the pacing, it stabs me in the leg and pees in my mailbox.

1545948 It's true. Hardy tends to get a little self-pitying now and then and must be smacked for it. That's why he has Taxi.


1547664 Awww, thanks sweetie. We do our best.

-Chessie

1548414

Well, because I am made of fail, you're gonna get a LOT more of this freakin' side-fic. At least two weeks worth, possibly more.

I tried. I really tried to write a short story. We've already got a further 10k written on this and it's only two thirds finished so look for at least three parts before we manage to claw our way back to the main story.

I swear, it's like every time I try to speed up the pacing, it stabs me in the leg and pees in my mailbox.
<snip>
-Chessie

Well the short version of this fic could be
Hardy goes to a Halloween party with his friends
he gets trapped in a cell with a psycho, a psycho and a psycho.
The end.

hey 10k words is always nice to see from someone who can write. I nom your fics for breakfast/lunch/dinner.
nomnomnom

Woo! Super excited about this! Keep it up.

1549355 This... does bring to light just how emotionally unstable my characters seem to be. I don't have a single character that isn't deranged in some way. Meesh.

Well the short version of this fic could be
Hardy goes to a Halloween party with his friends
he gets trapped in a cell with a psycho, a psycho and a psycho.
The end.

-Chessie

1550403 Hardy's mostly not deranged. I like to think of him as the straight man to everything that's happening around him. Then again, I might have missed his derangement.

Swift was mostly fine, before she developed her taste for flesh.

1551034

Hardy is intended to be somewhat more relatable and less deranged, which is what you probably want in a first-person narrator unless you're doing something very strange and psychological. Still, he certainly has his issues.

As for Swift... Well, let's... just wait on that one.

--CEO Kasen

1551053 Who doesn't have their issues? Especially in a noir.

as usual it's amazing, cant wait for the next parts!

1550297 Well i don't know they start singing a cheerful song?

1550403 They are crazy but a good kind of crazy.

Now I'm hearing all of Hardy's lines in Flutterguy's voice. I don't know how to turn that off...

How partially psychic IS Taxi, anywho? I spent all last weekend playing Psychonauts, and and I'm sensing the foreshadowed brain-poking as one of those levels and I don't know how to dissociate THAT connection, either.

Also, GPYSY BARDS YAY. :pinkiehappy:

1546631
Wait, if swift thinks Hardy-as-sweets is cute... then that means she sees sweets as cute? SHIPS HAVE BEEN LAUNCHED, CHESSIE & KASEN. SHIPS THAT CANNOT BE UNLAUNCHED. :raritywink: You teases.

1554032 I will say, keep reading. None of my characters are simple. If you're looking for typified archetypes, you'll find they're much more like people than characters you recognize which is to say they aren't always logical, kind, or smart. They're often massive fuckups.

-Chessie

1554032

Wait, if swift thinks Hardy-as-sweets is cute... then that means she sees sweets as cute? SHIPS HAVE BEEN LAUNCHED, CHESSIE & KASEN. SHIPS THAT CANNOT BE UNLAUNCHED. :raritywink: You teases.

Full speed ahead on the ships!

1554422 Considering the current state of things and the characters involved, if I were to write a romantic relationship between ANY of them (NOT SAYING I WILL), can you imagine them being stable enough to enjoy it?

-Chessie

1554498

Considering the current state of things and the characters involved, if I were to write a romantic relationship between ANY of them (NOT SAYING I WILL), can you imagine them being stable enough to enjoy it?

-Chessie

That's why it would be awesome!

Also "stable enough". heeeeee

1554506 I swear, I need to be aware when I'm making these freakin' puns...

-Chessie

Whee! Finally got away from some stuff I was doing, to read this. Gotta love Cuddles the adorable carnivore...
I'mma give you a spanking though...

or about the existence the of surprise.

I'd be surprised too! :rainbowlaugh:

1554032

I don't know how to turn that off...

Why would you want to?

WOOOOO YEAHHHH part 2 baby

A rattling rickshaw coming up the drive announced her husband’s return home. Tugging off her spotty apron, she threw it over the end of the exquisitely carved kitchen chair and trotted over to the door.

Huh a rickshaw now that’s pretty inventive and fits in with the whole time in Hardy’s past too.

Ophiotaurus
They both shook their heads, sitting closer together. Junior’s father continued as Dovetail began preparing dinner, “It’s a beast with the body of a bull and the head of a snake! Fangs you could use for swords and eyes of fire! Great creatures so big they could snap a little pony up in one bite!”

Aha! I knew what it was before the description go me!
I was looking at some Greek mythological creatures I could use in a world I have (mine craft) I’m gonna include it as a statue somewhere.
Ahem anyways on with the fic.

You can call little me ‘Shiny;’ big me can still break your ankles.

Feel the looove

“Three tickets... to Nightmare Moon’s Castle! Hosted tonight by Princess Luna”

LUNA LUNA LUNA

We ever get out of here, you can send the Princess a letter and see if you can get permission.” I said. “They usually only let scholars down there.

Now here is a curious thing, usually only scholars down to the sewers? This suggests the sewers have either educational value in teaching or more likely an educational value in survival.
:p

“Driver?”

“Yes, sir?”

“To the Castle!”

To adventure!

“Unicorn magic, does, yes.” The mare answered, sounding slightly impressed at the child’s knowledge. “The spell itself is triggered by zebra runes, so it’s always ready so long as the shape of the spell is right, but it needs power. Unicorns shape power from pegasus lightning in the weather factories to charge up gems to do that, and all I have to do is switch them out when they get drained. Everything but the magical bits are built by earth ponies, like us!”

Oooh interesting bit of world building here, there everywhere!
*panto crowd applaud*
But seriously nice to see some of the mechanics explained, my inner twilight is squeeing.

Shiny poked her head out from inside Hard Boiled’s coat. “A-a-are we d-d-dead?”

Dawww

A massive clang reverberated through the building. The sound was followed a second later by another, even louder bell. Each reprise thereafter the noise grew, until Shiny and Junior were covering their ears with both hooves

Perchance he for whom the Bell tolls,
may be so ill, as that he knowes not it tolls for him;
And perchance I may thinke my selfe so much better than I am,
as that they they who are about mee,
and see my state, may have been caused it to toll for mee,
and I know not that.
etc etc

Taxi waved a hoof over her forehead in a little circle. “Do you see a horn? I just... I was looking at her, and it was like I... felt like I was seeing into... this other place. It’s... damnit, I was a foal and foals are sensitive. Apparently. I looked too hard. I don’t feel like discussing it, alright? I’ll try to explain later when I’m sober and in a good mood, but not now, okay?”

AWWW COME ON
So secretive Taxi.
Nice bit of story telling with Luna though, I could picture the whole thing with her and the apple.

Gesturing towards the mural she let their eyes slide over the various details. “The war had been going on for nearly five years.” Regret snuck into her words. “We lost many of our most spectacular athletes, bakers, doctors, and writers to the war effort, and wasted our most brilliant minds on devising new ways to make death. Never had we constructed such evil devices of metal and mysticism as during those most foul times.

Woah bombshell dropped or what? Cutie mark crusades!

O_O

That was interesting bit of war history and no mistake.

His friend’s face was a mask of red hot anger. He’d only seen her like that once before, when she’d watched a group of colts tormenting a cat, and that had ended very poorly for everypony involved.

She stalked towards the princess, her shoulders high and tight as she advanced. Her saddlebags slid back on her hips, but she ignored them.. “You... what’s down here? What did you do?!”

oh Luna what did you do?

Well that was a pretty amazing chapter with Hardy recalling his history and a history lesson in the history. So much history :derpyderp1:
But i enjoyed it, the fact that the ponies in the war would be inexperienced in warfare does have a certain intuitive logic to it to be outwitted by the dragon tactics.
Sneaky dragons

This rabbit hole goes a long way huh. nice work

Man, that last line gave me chills. Although Halloween is well gone, I am still loving this special you guys have given us.

It;s such a shame that you guys are so underrated here on Fimfiction. Oh, well, more and more people are joining the site every day, I'm sure interest will pick up.

Once again, your world-building could put quite a few profesional authors to shame. I think magically powered motorcars is a concept I've never seen before, ever.

Oh, and the way you portrayed Luna was awesome as well/

Man, that war seems interesting.

This chapter was unique, in that I spotted two problems. No worry! They'll be fixed soon!

. just how far ]we were willing to go.”

And the last bit of italics seems a bit off, at the very least, you didn't close your tag or something, and it stretched to the comments.

Ooh worldbuilding. And excellent worldbuilding at that.

Question– how many years has it been since the return of Nightmare Moon? I am sure you have mentioned it before, but I forgot. And when did the dragon wars begin in relation to it?

Also, I think you have a little italics problem at the end.

1615951>>1615953 Thanks for catching that you two. Fixed it! That was actually my fault. I was doing some last minute changes and screwed up a tag.

Question– how many years has it been since the return of Nightmare Moon? I am sure you have mentioned it before, but I forgot. And when did the dragon wars begin in relation to it?

We're being intentionally vague here I'm afraid. We DO have all of this plotted out on an actual time-line but due to certain internal mechanisms related to things like the age of the characters and wanting to maintain an air of mystery over everything that's going on we won't often nail down particular time-frames. Needless to say, Luna's Return as part of the main story was 60 years from the time the story begins.

From this story, we're leaving that indeterminate, along with the ages of the characters.

You might have noticed in the show that they rarely give specific times. Sombre, Dischord, Hearth's Warming Eve, and the precise time for the transformation of Luna are all left as 'Over a thousand years ago'. This is mostly for the convenience of the writers as giving that kind of stuff to fans is a recipe for eventually screwing your continuity (See Luna Eclipsed versus the pilot. I really wish they'd go back and re-do the pilot.)

Retcons are a bitch and we've already done a few minor ones which have, thankfully, gone largely unnoticed. It's just a symptom of publishing in serial format (see Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, not that I am ANYWHERE NEAR as good as that. I'm just using it for an example.)


1615487

This rabbit hole goes a long way huh. nice work

And thank you for reading! Man, I love your analysis. Did you catch the bit about 'The Demolisher' and her 'war-scooters'? I worried that was too subtle.

AWWW COME ON
So secretive Taxi.

Heh, her history is one of those tough cookies we spent months cracking. We didn't even know how she got her cutie-mark until a few weeks ago. She's secretive because she's keeping secrets from us.


1615606

Oh, and the way you portrayed Luna was awesome as well.

We were freakin' WORRIED over this one.
-Chessie

1616066

That's cool. I am just trying to work out in my head how many generations separate Pinkie Pie and Slip Stitch. Cause if they are not related I will be more surprised than if Luna jumped out of my cupboard and hoofpunched me in the flank.

I think your portrayal of Luna is definitely tied for my favorite, right next to Article 2 by Muppetz and A Slice of Life by Dawnscroll. That's the great thing about fanfiction; you can have a favorite "version" of a character! :rainbowlaugh:

The framing device you used is very cliche, but since yo've also given a lot of backstory in this chapter, it's a small flaw which is very easy to overlook.

I've noticed over the last year that the number of people on this site have grown regularly. Since you guys update very frequently, I'm sure the story views for the main story will pile up.

1616208 Heh, we've long since stopped worrying about flogging the cliches. I've stolen from every genre and every long fiction I've ever come across. We tried originality in the... well, in the original fic. The first 80,000 word story which went by the name 'Starlight Over Detrot'.

We scrapped that entire thing because it was simply poor. Original, but poor.

The cliches work under the sole condition that you have characters supporting them which are interesting enough to make seeing the same situation again worth it (I.E. The Groundhog Day, Body Swap, and Dark Universe scenarios which have popped up a lot in popular sci-fi. Stargate, Farscape, and Star Trek have all poked those particular cliches, sometimes multiple times.)

1616105 It wouldn't surprise me if they were related but who would have the gumption to ask for a rundown of his family tree?

-Chessie

Wait... Luna and a bull?
I think I see where Sweets gets it from now.

-sorry, phones are terrible for commenting... That's all you get.

Heh, her history is one of those tough cookies we spent months cracking. We didn't even know how she got her cutie-mark until a few weeks ago. She's secretive because she's keeping secrets from us.

The best characters are the ones that blow raspberries back at you when you start to write with them. And swear to themselves as you pick and wheedle their secrets from them. :twilightsmile:

That's some seriously deep history lesson for little foals though. Military stratagems and doomsday devices and racial tensions and YAI it's a kid's tour with the Princess! Right after being dropped down a mineshaft! :yay:

1616465
Tropes are not bad! :raritywink:

1619574

That's some seriously deep history lesson for little foals though. Military stratagems and doomsday devices and racial tensions and YAI it's a kid's tour with the Princess!

Yeah, no kidding... Kasen was totally freaked about that for a while.

-Chessie

1616066

And thank you for reading! Man, I love your analysis. Did you catch the bit about 'The Demolisher' and her 'war-scooters'? I worried that was too subtle.

It's a description of pony aircraft that follows, seems very WW2 style of stuff going on. I have to wonder if there is an Earth pony in the craft there must be a parachute for him/her right?
Or maybe it's one of those "trust your pilot" things

Heh, her history is one of those tough cookies we spent months cracking. We didn't even know how she got her cutie-mark until a few weeks ago. She's secretive because she's keeping secrets from us.

oh okay i guess i wasn't the only one in the dark then.

1619574

This decidedly struck me as a worrying aspect of our plot here, but we believe we have something approaching a justification for it, to be revealed in Part 3.

1619794

Not quite, on the WWII thing. It's a little less obtuse than that.

--CEO Kasen

Chapter 3
WOOO
Taxi is best potential student :3

When he was unsure what to do with her, he often just gave her a hug; for some reason, that always seemed to work. After a few seconds, she returned the gesture, giving him a light squeeze as her breathing became a little more natural. “It’s okay. Really. I’m alright. At least, I will be.

Dawwwww

You all must understand this. Understand and take it with you. Whatever you tell your parents is your responsibility. They may not believe you, but you will know the truth, regardless. What you do with this truth will determine the course of Equestria’s future. I leave it now, in your hooves.

o.o a confession?
Oh my

He bolted back towards the archway. The others quickly ran after him. A distant part of his fear-wracked mind realized he was walking in the ashes of all those dragons trapped underground, trying to free themselves.

RUNNNNN

Equally loud, however, was the horrible thought of his best friend being furiously gobbled by Nightmare Moon or an undead lizard.

The taxi has been gobbled! nuuuuuuu

A rational part of his mind knew neither of those things was terribly likely, but that rational part did not hold enough seats in his mental committee right now.

Lol a mental committee, nice analogy there.

She...the princess... she moved all of those dragons underground with that spell. That’s why they never got to dig themselves out. She wasn’t aiming for any particular spot. Just... underground. They were alive...alive with their bodies half inside the ground

Holy crap
Talk about under pressure.
And then they run for their lives from the, thing

Junior was just turning away from another blocked shaft when he heard rocks tumbling against each other. It sounded nearby, but the strange acoustic effects continued to counfound his hearing.

Counfound? :D

It had the aspect of a snake given four cloven hooves, but was far more bulky. A wide cobra’s hood adorned with two bright splotches of green sprung from it’s supple, frighteningly flexible neck. Two goring horns, capable of skewering an adult pony, end to end, completed the ensemble. It stumbled back and forth at the end of the hall, shaking it’s head wildly like it was trying to dislodge a bee from it’s ear. He didn’t even know if snakes had ears, but something in the way it staggered from side to side indicated something was definitely wrong. Patches of scales along it’s face and neck seemed to be missing, leaving ugly, weeping sores dripping some foul liquid.

Oh shit

An irritated snort sounded down the crack they’d just emerged from and Junior felt an irrational anger light in his chest. He leapt forward, braced his hooves on the walls, and spat back at the menacing monster the worst curse he knew. “Darn you straight to Tartarus!”

Oh watch out we got a badass here :twilightsheepish:

Shiny covered her mouth with one hoof and sniggered to herself. “Oh Hardy, I never heard you cuss before. That was sooo adorable!”

Shiny said it XD.

Reaching out he put his forelegs around her neck and pulled her into the dappled glow filtering from far above. Raising his eyes, he nodded at the sky. “Our lives might not be terribly long, but I promise, right here, under the moon, that I won’t leave you. So you can stop worrying, alright? I ain’t going anywhere except maybe into that thing’s stomach.”

So romantic

Wrapping his leg in the fabric he pulled himself up, bit a section, shimmied up a few inches hanging by his teeth, then un-twined his leg and moved it up, repeating the procedure. It was tiring, but he was the best earth pony in gym class at the rope-climb

Reminds me of my own rope-climbing abilities, or lack of them. I never did get the hang of the technique.

“No kidding.” Shiny said, hiding her amusement poorly. “I wonder if that monster’s poop is really long or if it’s like a pie.”

“What?!”

“You know, because it’s a snake and a bull-”

Oh that’s nasty.

Lifting it’s head, the ophiotaurus spotted it’s rebellious prey.

You know my online spell-checker thingy keeps wanting to fix Ophiotaurus to hippopotomous, I can’t stop laughing. :D

A vengeful moo rose to end in a frightening screech, and the monster threw itself at them.

Oh god, not the vengeful moos! Bahaha

“Ow!” Princess Luna bellowed, putting her hoof on Junior’s chest, pinning him in place. Her horn hovered dangerously a few inches from his neck, until she realized what exactly had crashed into her. She picked him up in her magic by one ankle and gave him a firm shake. “Colt, I swear, you are the maddest little imp I have met for more than twenty years! What did you think you were doing? Attacking that beast?!” She scolded.

Dawwww

Hmm, so Taxi convinces Luna to try and reduce her aggressive stance with dragons?

“What ‘came naturally’ ended with you up to your ears in crap for the next however many years and now you’re my chauffeur. You could have been Princess Luna’s protege!

I have to agree with hardy here, being a protegee to a princess sure as hell beats being stuck in nowhere land.

And miss your lovely costume?... not a chance.” Jade giggled maniacally and tucked the camera away. “I’m having that framed for my desk. By the way, unless you want that picture to go in the department newsletter, your reports to me had best never again end with the words ‘Dispatch to Empress Tight-Ass herself”

LOL

“You do make a lovely mare.”

“Sure, sure...”

“Happy Nightmare Night, Hard Boiled.”

“Happy Nightmare Night, you awful bitch.”

Oh my “you do make a lovely mare”. HINT HINT
:D

What a nice ending. Gosh that was quite a long side-fic huh. You don't mess around eh.
So that was nice a bit of world building with the war vs the dragons, so many dawwww moments. Luna scaring the pants off a bunch of fillies then terror of being chased through lots of winding tunnels from a bull-snake creature. o.o
But then the vengeful moos :rainbowkiss:
Lots of colourful analogies and language used, and like usual very easy to read. Also an expansion on the enigma that is Taxi and her history.
Say when she read that ophiotaurus's future did she see flinging her ball at it? :D
Couple of brave moments by a desperate hardy and a little romance, sorta.

What a ride!
AGAIN AGAIN.

1694712 The Demolisher is an orange pegasus riding something called a 'war-scooter'? Did nobody pick up on that?


1695272 I'm really glad you enjoy it. I have never written anything that ruined me quite so badly as this bastard. It was incredibly hard to write and neither Kasen nor I really enjoyed it but the final product wasn't bad at all.

We hold ourselves to some ridiculously high standards of content and character and if something doesn't feel like it pops, we usually end up slamming our heads against it until it 'works'. Unfortunately, with this piece we really just wanted to get it out the door.

-Chessie

1695943 You suffered so that some of us don't have to for the story we enjoy.
Thank you

:yay: Yay! World building and Back stories and cute kids and candy and drunken exploits and wars and terrible crimes against creation and self-loathing and heartache and guilt and lies and BAWWWW Equestria is a scary place to live! :fluttercry:

“We held the spell and cast... and for an instant, we were more than a pony. We were a pulsar! We might have our night eternal once more! Endless, endless power!”

UNLIMITED POWWWAAAHHHHHHH

“You know, because it’s a snake and a bull-”

Kids will always be kids. And kids love toilet humor.

“You turned it into a constellation?!” Shiny exclaimed.

And that's how the Constellation Bullsnake came t--

“No, it will be re-entering the atmosphere around then and should burn up quite visibly.”

Oh. Oh! OOoohhhhhh... Space can be mean.

Because the last time I had a party like this, you got drunk and made a pass at the zebra ambassador’s daughter. You are lucky. Their marital rules are quite... strict. You almost earned yourself a bride and jeopardized our relations with the entire zebra nation.

I'm seeing the last scene of Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls in my head here. SHIKAKA!

That was some serious stuff there, with Luna's emotional self-abuse in the guise of a scarefest. I've seen that same sort of thing, where it takes a good "Pull yourself together" slap rather than the comforting reassurances that induce real healing. Hits ya right in the feels.

1695943
I caught that one!

And Scary Luna is best Luna.

1699462 I wondered if the 'self loathing' thing Luna has would be too hot to touch or wouldn't come through properly. One has to figure the Night Princess is probably a little fucked up considering all the crap she's been through without the thousand years to process it all.

-Chessie

1695943
Sorry, I'm terrible when it comes to references.:applejackconfused:

Still really enjoyed it. Getting a look at Sweets and Hardy as kids was really neat.:twilightsmile:

1695943
"The Demolisher is an orange pegasus riding something called a 'war-scooter'? Did nobody pick up on that?"
Is it possible that she is Gypsy's mother ? Or war-scooters were widely used during war ?

I hate you two so much. I was happily going along main fiction, figured that the second part meant that the first part was done, then WHAM! Cut off!
You know what users do when they're cut off?
I swear, I'm going to stab you in the leg and pee in your mailbox.

But no, seriously, this is awesome. Chapter 3 and 5 and something have typos, but my smartphone makes it an enormous pain to go look. Maybe later. Otherwise, this is professional grade work that I wouldn't mind buying.

<3
You've stolen my hEARt, you thieves.

Ah, nothing like Nightmare Night stories in February.
I enjoyed it.

2162281 Dawww, I didn't know you hadn't read this one! It's been up since October.

-Chessie

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!