• Member Since 25th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 17th, 2018

flutterdashforever


T

It's not easy for anypony when they can see that two of their best friends are perfect for each other. Some would just give up and hope that the two eventually worked it out but not Pinkie Pie. She's going to get these two together no matter what and she's no stranger to playing matchmaker.

This is a just a funny little Flutterdash one shot fic that I wrote ages ago and published on Deviantart. I recently reworked the idea and added a bit more just to flesh it out some. Sorry if it's not up to my usual standard but it was written a while ago. If you notice any grammar or spelling mistakes please tell me.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 30 )

It's nice. Could use some indentation, and there's the odd spelling error, but they're hardly noticeable.

Since I have a talent for finding spelling errors apparently, I'll note a few.

Whenever Fluttershy ran it to her she seemed kind of hopeful and shy at the same time

It should be in

also there's a couple of cases where fluttershy is spelled flutterhsy, and one case where stares should be spelled stars

Anyway, an excellent story, though I think Pinkie may have broken the fourth wall a little too hard.

1542674 Glad you liked it. :twilightsmile:

1542853 Thank you. :pinkiehappy: Pinkie Pie can never break the fourth wall too hard :pinkiecrazy:

Even Pinkie knows Flutterdash is best ship.

1546215 What can I say? She's got a knack for that sort of thing. :pinkiehappy: Although I must admit this story made me wonder where a Gummy Tank ship could go... when I read Living In The Present, Hoping For The Future, I kinda half thought that might be where it was going. :derpytongue2:

1546237
Personally I would find it hilarious if Spike was shipped with one of the pets.

1546286 That would be funny but it's never really made clear if he would be able to talk to them and understand them... oh well! All we need is a little Twilight-magicy-zap-zap and that would be one hell of a story. :derpytongue2:

>w<! Cute and funny. Very nice little story. :3

1551571 Absolutely! Pinkie Pie didn't even attempt to make sense in this story! :pinkiehappy:

So, I saw this yesterday. But it was late at night. For some reason when it's late at night I'm extra nit-picky. But my dad turned off the internet somewhere in the middle of it, and then went to sleep. So I didn't get to comment. But now I am. :pinkiesmile:
Now, I had something more intelligent to say last night, but I forgot. :ajbemused: Whatever, I'll try.
Sooooooooooooo, another story. And it's epic! No shocker there :raritywink:. Anyway, love the Pinkie. Disregarding the laws of physics while trying to hook her friends up. Just an average day. And I need to read the story where she tried to get Tank and Gummy together.
Really awesome, as per usual. I really have nothing else profound to say, so I'll head into the time-honoured tradition of CORRECTIONS!
Did I mention that I get really nit-picky at night? :twilightblush: I actually devised I system to separate the corrections, so I'll post them in another comment. :scootangel:

1555702 Thank you. :twilightsmile: I'm really glad you liked it. As for the Tank Gummy story... well, I might get around to writing it one day.

I'm glad, I need nit picky people, they're the ones who find the most mistakes. :pinkiehappy:

TIME FOR CORRECTIONS! Corrections that I made late at night in OCD mode, some of which I don't even really see as that important anymore. But I'm too lazy to sift through them, so you're getting them all. And look at my new system! Isn't it pretty? I'm dividing them up by issue. If something has more than one issue, both issues will be addressed in the first section it falls into. It won't appear in the section for its other issue if it has already appeared once. Now, GO:
Section 1: Capitalization.

“Hey rainbow, what’cha doing?”

Pinkie squinted at rainbow for a moment then brightened.

“Me and rainbow are just friends, honestly.

Rainbow Dash demands her name be capitalized! :rainbowdetermined2: Also, for the second one, I recommend putting a comma before "then". Pinkie squinted at rainbow for a moment, then brightened.

If she didn’t agree then pinkie would keep annoying her but if she did then she might just be in for one very awkward night.

Pinkie wants her name capitalized too! :pinkiesmile: I also suggest that you break the sentence up more. Maybe make it two sentences? And perhaps get rid of the word "then" and replace if with a comma. If she didn’t agree, Pinkie would keep annoying her. But if she did then she might just be in for one very awkward night.

“No. and that’s precisely why you’re not to tell her I do.”

The first period should either be changed to a comma, or the word "and" should be capitalized.

“On the contrary dear, Dashie, this just means I have to go and get the same agreement out of her. see’ya.”

See'ya has gotta be capitalized.

“IhaveacrushonyouandireallyhopeyoulikemetoobecausePInkie’sgoingtokeepinterfearingregardlessofweatherweenduptogetherornotandalsobecauseyouaresupercuteandI’dreallylikeyouasmyveryspecialsomepony.”

Yes, I'm looking at your one word sentence. :trixieshiftright: Looks like someone pressed the shift key for too long, since Pinkie's name has the first two letters capitalized.

Oh, and I must congratulate tank on getting together with gummy.

Even Tank and Gummy want their names capitalized! :pinkiehappy:

Pinkie had later found Rainbow Dash and Explained that Flutterhsy failed even worse than she had.

The word "explained" shouldn't be capitalized. Also, you put the h before the s in Fluttershy's name. Which leads us to Section 2...
Section 2: Flutterhsy

Just zip it will you? I have weather patrol. Please don’t say anything to Flutterhsy.”

“Hello again, Flutterhsy.”

“Hey Flutterhsy?”

:fluttercry::Um... my name is Fluttershy. Heh. You kept spelling Fluttershy like Flutterhsy. Gotta watch out for that one. Also, the first one should have a comma in the first sentence. Just zip it, will you?
Section 3: Dialogue ending:
So, I think I read somewhere that if the statement would normally end in a period, and the speaker is identified after it's said without an action in place, it should now end with a comma. But there were a couple of times where you had sentence using that format, but ended it with a period.

“Good morning Pinkie.” Said Fluttershy meekly.

According the those rules it should be “Good morning Pinkie,” said Fluttershy meekly.

“Oh physics.” Said Pinkie Pie dismissively.

Same rule. Plus, I think it would work better if there was a comma after the word "oh". “Oh, physics,” said Pinkie Pie dismissively.

“Oh you have a crush on her too.” Said Pinkie bouncing even higher.

If that was supposed to be a question, it should have a question mark. Otherwise, I think it would fit Pinkie better if an exclamation mark was used. And perhaps a comma after oh. And a comma before bouncing. But then it might be better is the word Pinkiewas before said. So: “Oh, you have a crush on her too!/?” Pinkie said, bouncing even higher. If you want, you could change said to another word, but that's not necessarily necessary. I've always wanted to say "necessarily necessary". :pinkiehappy:

“Oh come on Pinkie, it’ll be fun.” Said Twilight, still blushing.

“Oh come on Pinkie, it’ll be fun,” said Twilight, still blushing.
Section 4: Sentence Flow (Mostly IMO)
Most of the things mentioned in this section can be to replied to with the statement "That's just, like, your opinion, man". :unsuresweetie: That being said, I'm still gonna mention them, since I think some sentences could sound better.

Um why were you pacing?

A comma after Um?

“Well if you’re alright then do you feel like getting some breakfast?

Maybe take out the then and replace it with a comma. “Well if you’re alright, do you feel like getting some breakfast?

“Seems a little early to be going visiting don’tcha think?

A comma after visiting?

“Oh, that’s an easy one. I asked the author in my obligatory shattering of the fourth wall but that’s not important.

The second sentence is kinda run-on. You could try splitting it into two. I asked the author in my obligatory shattering of the fourth wall. But that’s not important. Or maybe add a comma there. I asked the author in my obligatory shattering of the fourth wall, but that’s not important.

“Don’t worry about physics, they’re not important, what is important is Rainbow Dash practically sneaking out of your cottage in the wee hours of the morning.”

I think the second comma should be a period instead. “Don’t worry about physics, they’re not important. What is important is Rainbow Dash practically sneaking out of your cottage in the wee hours of the morning.”

“Ooh jealous are we? No I mean she has a crush on you.”

Could use a comma after jealous. Maybe after after no. So, something like: “Ooh, jealous are we? No, I mean she has a crush on you.”

Actually she said pretty much what you said.

A comma after actually?

"Why you and Rainbow Dash of course.”

I think there should be a comma after why. Also, perhaps consider an exclamation mark instead of a period. I think it would Pinkie better in this situation. "Why, you and Rainbow Dash of course!”

Breakfast had been nice although Rainbow had been able to tell that the yellow pegasus, had other things on her mind.

There probably shouldn't be a comma after pegasus, but there should be one after nice. Breakfast had been nice, although Rainbow had been able to tell that the yellow pegasus had other things on her mind.

It wasn’t long before the sky was perfectly clear and one cyan pegasus was bored and wondering how to spend the rest of her day.

Seems kinda run-on. Try: It wasn’t long before the sky was perfectly clear. That left one cyan pegasus was bored and wondering how to spend the rest of her day.

Rainbow sighed but reasoned that what she was thinking was probably an ok thing for friends to do.

A comma after sighed?

… or a cyan maniac smashing through her garden gate and colliding with her at nearly the speed of sound, that would do it, every time.

Try a period instead of the first comma. Also, dunno if there should be a space after the ellipsis. …or a cyan maniac smashing through her garden gate and colliding with her at nearly the speed of sound. That would do it, every time.

I ran out of space during Section 5, so I'll post that with a new post.

Continuation!
Section 5: Other

“ I heard voices so I came out to see what was going on.

Shouldn't have a space after the quotation mark.

They had eaten in contented silence and were now watching the stares.

Not sure if ponies were actually staring at them, or typo. :derpytongue2: I think you meant stars.

Rainbow just flew strait up.

I have a funny story about this! If you want to read it, go ahead. If not, you look at the correction.
So, anyway. I was pretty sure you meant straight instead of strait, but I couldn't google it because my internet wasn't working. So, I checked my dictionary. I was flipping through the pages, but being my immature self, I got distracted by a certain word that starts with an s and ends with an x. :scootangel: Then, I found a typo in the dictionary! The sentence said: the state of being mal e or female. Mal e. MAL E! Hah! Everyone was asleep, so I couldn't show them. But even if they were awake, I still couldn't tell them, because of the word it was under. :rainbowlaugh: Regardless, I still showed my sister today. ANYWAY, yeah, it should be straight.
Rainbow just flew straight up.

I said that if you could prove to me that you weren’t in to that sexy little yellow pegasus down there, by not reacting when you said her name, then would drop it.”

Should have a the word I after would. Dunno if in to should be into or not, so eh.
then I would drop it.”

In truth, she had caught herself looking at Fluttershy a few times in a very non platonic way but had always wrenched her gaze away.

Google tells me the word non-platonic should have a hyphen. But it always says it can be two words. So it doesn't matter. I'm just posting it anyway to try and make up for my mistake. THIS SHOULD BE IN SECTION 4! :fluttershbad: And I can't edit my old post to add it there because I'm pretty sure there isn't enough space. Even if they were, it would mean I would have to stop writing this. Sure, I could copy and paste. But that would mean I couldn't copy and paste the sentence without losing this all. Either way, YOU GOT THE EMAIL! YOU WOULD FOREVER KNOW OF MY MISTAKE ANYWAY! Hey, I should probably get to the point right about now. Yeah, so, anyway you should consider adding a comma after way. In truth, she had caught herself looking at Fluttershy a few times in a very non platonic way, but had always wrenched her gaze away.

That's all I got. BASK IN THE GLORY OF MY NEW SYSTEM! :pinkiecrazy: Also, I lied. I found either two or three of them to be completely unnecessary, and so they weren't put in these posts. And sorry for the loooong time I took to get around to posting these. My family kept yelling at me to do stuff, and kept getting distracted by ponies. :fluttershbad: I didn't even go other parts of FiMFiction, but the ponies are EVERYWHERE, man! Also, I had to format this and type it all up. Sorry! I promise I won't do this next time!
Anyway, obligatory :twilightsmile:. I usually add either :raritywink: or :twilightsmile: after giving anyone edits, because without them I seem harsher. I don't want to seem rude or mean, I truly like their fics! I just want to help! And those two are the most fitting. Maybe I could start using :pinkiesmile:. I wish there were a fitting RD emoticon, 'cause RD is best pony. :rainbowdetermined2: Anyway, :twilightsmile:. Also, :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

1557097
1557268 You're awesome! Just have to get that out of the way right now. :twilightsmile: Thank you for all the help with that. you were right on pretty much everything. Funny story by the way. :pinkiehappy: Also, I apologise to FlutterSHY for constantly misspelling her name. I tend to type too fast and I always seem to hit the h before the s. :fluttercry: Oh well. Thanks again. :pinkiesmile:

(Additional note on the whole Flutterhsy thing: I've set word's auto-correct to change Flutterhsy to Fluttershy, should it ever come up, so hopefully you will never see that mistake again.)

1557434 Well, thank you! :pinkiehappy: I think that you're pretty awesome too! And I believe Fluttershy will approve of your new methods.:yay:
Almost forgot: Adding to this to the FlutterDash folder in the Shipping Group!
Random Observation! Did you know that every member of the mane six have six emoticons on FiMFiction EXCEPT Rarity and Applejack?
It's a conspiracy :twilightoops:

1557592 That's only because the other four emoticons feature them doing things that it's not appropriate for everypony to see them doing. :raritywink: (Yes I ship Rarijack.)

1557666 Rarijack? Good. I approve. But Flutterdash is better. I also believe that that is a feasible theory on why Applejack and Rarity have one less than the rest...
To the Fanfic-Mobile! AWAY!
Oh wait, there are already fanfics for that. :twilightblush:

is pinkie blind?
how can she not see appledash?!

1578737 Because she is under the command of the most crazy insane Flutterdash shipper there is. :twilightsmile:

oh that sounds adroable, a pinkie pie date

TAMMY IS BEST SHIP! :rainbowlaugh:

But for all seriousness, this was really cute! ^^
not to mention I always like to see some Twipie and Rarijack in my Flutterdash :raritywink:

1557097
Sorry, but some of your suggestions are incorrect, or at the least, very questionable. I pointed out the ones that really grate on my nerves. Actually, it's just one and involves the word "but". Much less fun than "butt" =(

>If she didn’t agree, Pinkie would keep annoying her. But if she did then she might just be in for one very awkward night.
Negative, Ghostrider. That ends up with you starting a sentence with a conjunction. Use a comma before the "but". You also should have a comma before "then" as that's still a dependent clause preceding its independent clause.
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> You could try splitting it into two. I asked the author in my obligatory shattering of the fourth wall. But that’s not important.
You really like suggesting people abuse conjunctions, huh? At least this time you said put a comma there as an option. That really should be the default response. If you see a "but" and there isn't a comma in front of it, odds are good there should be.

>

Rainbow sighed but reasoned that what she was thinking was probably an ok thing for friends to do.

A comma after sighed?
Yes. A comma before "but" is pretty much the rule. Also, "okay" not "ok".

This has been a late-night, drunken, OCD fueled nitpick.

/Basic rule is never start a sentence with a conjunction
//But you can ignore these rules in dialogue
///Which is why I didn't get onto you for starting a sentence with "And"
////Also, very close in 3rd person pov
/////Or first person
//////SLASHIES

1672362 I've never really been much good with the whole "but can act as a comma" rules as they don't seem terribly consistent as they were explained to me. I'm not sure I understood correctly but the way one of my English teachers explained it, it sounded like "but" can act as a comma. I'm not, on the whole, very good with commas at any rate but I will look in to it.

1667809 Don't know what Tammy is. :rainbowhuh:

Anyhow, glad you liked it. I do love to put a little Twipie and Rarijack in to everything. Rarijack is just so cute (though not as cute as Flutterdash of course.) :twilightsmile:

1676500

Of course! :yay:

Tammy was Tank + Gummy, I was being silly :derpytongue2:

1676680 Ooooohhhhhh :facehoof: gotcha. I like this ship name, I HATH DECREED IT A KEEPER. :pinkiehappy: Who knows, one day I might actually write that story. :twilightsmile:

May I have your permission to edit this story? I can help fix a few of the grammar issues to polish up the prose =3.

OMG!!!! U SHIP EVERYONE I SHIP!!!!!!!! I thought I was the only one!!!!! :pinkiegasp: :pinkiehappy:
FLUTTERDASH4LIFE!!! :yay::heart::rainbowdetermined2:

1578737
Then there wouldn't be Flutterdash!! :fluttercry:

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