• Published 2nd Nov 2012
  • 10,659 Views, 568 Comments

Metroid: A Hunter in Equestria - Cusi



Samus crashes in Equestria.How will the legendary bounty hunter fare in the peaceful land of ponies?

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Encounters of the Pony Kind

A/N: Samus and Metroid elements belong to Nintendo. My Little Pony belongs to Hasbro/the Hub. I own nothing but the plot.


Chapter 2: Encounters of the pony kind

Samus was asleep. Asleep in the sense that she had hit her head pretty bad and had lost consciousness. It was all good, though. She was pretty comfortable in her ship's comfy chair. She was enjoying her sleep when a splash of water on her face mercilessly woke her up. She winced a little at the cold temperature and immediately came to a scary conclusion: she was not lying in her ship's comfy chair. She wasn't even in a chair; she was lying in a bed of hay and paper.

Samus opened her eyes to see the most bizarre scene her eyes had ever seen. And when you are an intergalactic bounty hunter that has saved the galaxy at least thrice, 'bizarre' is a rarely used term. Before her was a small white horse with a horn and a light purple and pink mane, looking at her with curious, pastel green eyes. A unicorn, she presumed (for what else could it be?). Said unicorn was holding an empty bucket in its mouth; most likely the cause of her sudden awakening. The human's eyes then darted around, seeing she was inside some sort of a rustic house; and inside with her were the white unicorn, and a bigger, yellow horse with wings and a wavy pink mane.

Two and a half seconds later, Samus took a sitting position. The scene around her was getting even stranger as she noticed a wet towel fall from her forehead when she rose, as well as her bandaged broken arm. This caused the horses to back a little. Without losing her poker face, Samus took in the rest of the scene.

Again, this was... strange. Samus couldn't think of another word, other than bizarre. The yellow pegasus and small white unicorn weren't her only companions. All staring at her as if she was some sort of monster was: a purple unicorn that just stopped reading a book on a couch, the big red horse she saw before losing consciousness chewing a twig of something, a rainbow-maned pegasus just hovering around, and a blonde orange horse with a cowboy hat, a small yellow horse with red mane and a big pink bow on her head, and a small orange pegasus with purple mane.

Now, Samus though, 'strange' wasn't even close to what lay before her eyes felt. A unicorn reading a book? A freaking horse wearing a freaking cowboy hat? What was worse of all was that apparently she was the injured animal to them, and they were taking care of her. She stood up and tried to contact Adam. Samus touched her pill-sized communicator on her ear, only to realize it wasn't there; she panicked. She reached for her paralyzer on the holster in her leg, but it was gone too, just like her poker face. She did a backflip and distanced herself from the mysterious horses, alert to any attack. After a moment, no attack came so Samus relaxed a little, but not quite trusting the creatures yet.

Seeing her display of fear and confusion, the yellow pegasus approached her with caution and kindness in her eyes. Great, now she was a scared little critter in the pegasus's eyes. Every horse in the room put their attention on her, what threw her off a little was that the book the purple unicorn was reading simply levitated to a small table, where she saw her paralyzer. So there it was! And her communicator too! Before she could attempt to reach for them, a soft neighing caught her attention. She saw the yellow pegasus slowly reaching for her head.

"Stay away!" yelled Samus at the creature before kicking it hard on its front leg and jumping toward the table with her weapon. This reaction put the rest of the creatures on guard. The cowboy pony quickly took the hurt pegasus's side, while red one quickly took his position between Samus and the three smaller ponies, which now she realized must be just foals. Not that it mattered; Samus had her hand on her weapon.

Unfortunately, she made a grave mistake: she forgot about her broken arm. A sharp pain made her drop the Paralyzer and fall to her knees, grabbing her injured limb and gritting her teeth. Before any being could do anything, the yellow pegasus once again approached her, but this time, she had a plate with salad in her mouth. The winged horse offered the salad, along with a friendly smile.

Samus was now in conflict. She was taken care of by creatures she had never met before, creatures that had taken away her means of communication and self-defense. Also, her pride hurt at being the weak, defenseless creature in a room full of strong equines.

Finally, she gave a defeated sigh, released her weapon and began talking "I am deeply sorry. I'm not used to being the one taken care of. Thank you for your help, but I'll be leaving now." All horses looked at her with a confused expression once again, except for the one that offered her the salad, who gave her an understanding nod. With that, it went to the door and opened it for Samus to leave if wanted to. Samus gave the pegasus a smile before placing her communicator back in her ear and her Paralyzer back in her leg's holster.

With a wave of her good arm, she left the barn to contact Adam. Before she left, she saw an old horse sleeping while rocking back and forth in a rocking chair; a sight she quickly dismissed to touch the device in her ear. As she received the location of her ship via her computer assistant, one glanced back revealed the blue pegasus looking at her as if she was crazy. Samus simply shrugged and continued her path. As she began walking, she felt her pride take another beating for some reason.

OXOXO

As all the gathered ponies watched the strange lizard-monkey with blonde mane leave the house, they directed a 'please explain' look to Fluttershy, who waved to the mystery creature as it went back home. When the shy pony saw their gazes, she shrank a little before explaining "What? My special talent is taking care of animals. I'm able to understand what they say, or least the basic message. She was just surprised to see an unfamiliar place."

"Whatever." Twilight answered "But I've never seen anything like that before, not even in my books. This could be the discovery of the century! Rainbow Dash, do you think you could trail it back to its lair? I'm certain that creature is connected somehow with the explosion Big Mac described earlier."

"Sure thing."

"When you find out where it lives, inform us. We'll go investigate tomorrow. It's been a long day, I'm going home." with a yawn, Twilight left the Apple family's house to head to her own. She was followed by everypony not belonging to the Apple family.

OXOXO

After an hour of searching, Samus finally reached her beloved gunship. Her mood lowered when she saw the state it was in. That last explosion destroyed the boosters, and Adam had reminded her that the auto-repair system was offline. Another report from Adam indicated that almost all systems were slightly damaged, but inoperable. The only working things were the computer, its data, and the ammunition factory. She cursed her luck, along with Sylux's existence once again. Without the ship's medical bay, her arm would have to heal by itself! How long would that take? She was no stranger to injuries, but this particular case made her appreciate all the medical achievements a little more. With her arm in the state it was, she would be unable to use her Power Suit.

Hmm... The Power Suit...

With the help of her helmet, she could probably translate everything the horse things were saying, thus providing the communication skills necessary to go around and learn a thing or two about this planet. Her recent activities with Jayden and his team had reawakened her desire to learn, as well as reminding her of her Chozo heritage.

Besides, it's not like she had anything better to do.

So, it was decided; she would fabricate a translator and learn more about the strange horse creatures that had helped her. Samus entered her ship and shared her plan with Adam, who provided useful tips and instructions "I am able to replicate most of the software found in your suit's helmet. Copying should be easy enough. I suggest taking a visual device as well, you may want the scan power your helmet provides. There are some spare visors in the storage. They may prove useful." With her good arm, Samus took a small electronic welder and began working on her translator.

Within the hour, her little contraption was finished; and the small earphone was placed in her ear. If it worked, she would be able to understand and speak the same language as those horses. With the analytical prowess of her suit, this gadget was easy to make. Once again, Samus found herself amazed at the technological wonders the Chozo were able to make. She wondered if her own technological ability was in part thanks to the Chozo DNA in her.

Her musings, however, were interrupted when Adam spoke "Equine life-form detected outside the ship. Threat level: minimal." This caught Samus's attention. Samus peeked outside through the windshield and saw one of the horse things outside. It was the small orange pegasus. It was looking at her ship with wonder and a little fear. Still, it could be called impressive, a horse following her here in that scooter.

Scooter.

A horse riding a scooter. Samus deadpanned; the cowboy horse didn't seem that strange anymore.

Whatever, this was the perfect chance to test out her new little gadget. Samus exited her ship in order to converse with the scooter-riding foal. As soon as she got out, however, the little equine jumped back, frightened. It was no taller than Samus's waist. Samus raised her good hand in signal of peace. A signal that was completely ignored, so she instead kneeled to the horse's eye level. The foal just looked at her with fearful eyes.

"I'm not going to hurt you." Samus began, eager to know if her work had paid off. This seemed to ease the fear in the young pegasus, but now it looked confused.

"W-What are you?" was her response. Samus grinned at her success.

"I'm a human. And what are you?"

"I'm a pony. A pegasus!" answered the pony proudly, puffing its chest and standing a little straighter. This brought a little smile to Samus; she was making progress! The pony continued with her questions "Do you have a name? What is a human? What's that thing in your leg? Is that your house?"

Before Samus could answer, she was tackled to the ground by a stronger and bigger pegasus. She avoided falling on her broken arm, but the impact was still strong. She fell to the ground before seeing the rainbow-maned pony hovering in front of the orange one. "Squirt! What are you doing here? Go back home."

"But Rainbow Dash, it's just..." the smaller one began, but got interrupted.

"NOW!" yelled the grown mare. The filly reluctantly obeyed and rode away in her scooter. The cyan pegasus returned her attention to the bounty huntress, who had reached her Paralyzer and was pointing it to her attacker. "And you! What do you think you're doing? Nopony messes with my friends, unless they want pain." she spat.

Rainbow Dash began to charge again, but received a burst of electrical energy from that weapon. Her muscles all tensed, and she fell to the ground, unable to move. She glanced up, only to see the same weapon aimed at her face. She gulped.

"I was only trying talk to the small pony. I'm not here with hostile intentions, but I won't hesitate in eliminating you if pose a threat." The paralysis had passed, and both creatures were staring at each other's eyes.

After a while, the pegasus finally responded "That spark shooter is really awesome!" That threw Samus completely off, it wasn't what she was expecting from such a tense moment. She lowered her weapon and began her questions.

"What planet are we in?"

"Huh?"

"What planet are we in? ...Do you know what a planet is?" the pegasus looked at her with confusion in its face. Samus sighed "Forget it. I guess you can't help me."

This brought realization to equine's face "Oh, you need help? Why didn't you tell me so? I'm sure my friend Twilight can help you. She's a real nerd, so she may know what you want to know!" Samus's face lightened up with hope. The pegasus continued "But it's late. My friends were coming over tomorrow, anyway, so can you wait until then?"

"Yes. There's no rush. Thank you very much"

The pegasus was about to take off when she stopped "Oh, by the way, I'm Rainbow Dash!"

What a stupid name, Samus though, but whatever "Samus Aran".

"Ok, Samus Aran, see ya tomorrow." and with that, Rainbow Dash flew out of sight.

The pony was right, figured Samus, nighttime was almost here, if the location of this planet's sun was any indication. She returned inside her ship to try and repair any device she could before going to sleep on her comfy pilot seat.

Oh, how she loved that seat!

OXOXO

"Dear Princess Celestia:

I hope you are well. Today, my friend Big Macintosh found a very unusual creature. I find its anatomy difficult to describe, as well as its behavior. I believe that creature is strongly connected to the meteor crash near Ponyville. If this is the case, we may be dealing with something from beyond the stars. An 'alien', if you will. As you may have concluded, I am requesting permission to investigate this matter.

Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle

P.S. Please give Princess Luna my regards."

There! With the Princess informed of her plan, Twilight was ready to start studying the mysterious creature. "Spike! Please send this to the princess. Tomorrow will be a busy day; we will study the creature Big Mac found, but I need to inform the princess first." Spike, the baby dragon, simply took the scroll with the message written and blew a little green ember to make it burn and make its way to the princess in the form of smoke.

"Study it? Didn't you say it was dangerous and that it hurt Fluttershy?" asked the worried assistant.

"Well, yeah. But I'm sure it was a misunderstanding! If what I assume is correct, that thing is an intelligent being. Perhaps it was just the lack of communication skills that made it violent; like a cornered animal. Besides, we could all learn about..." the unicorn continued talking, making the dragon go from worried to annoyed.

"If you say so. I'm going to bed." Spike began his way upstairs, but burped a letter before reaching the stairs. The letter levitated to the librarian's face with her magic. Spike simply continued his quest for sleep."There's your letter. Good night." with a yawn, he left Twilight's company. Twilight didn't even reply; she was too busy reading the written response.

"My faithful student, Twilight Sparkle

I can't force you to stop your studies, so I won't. However, I would like you to avoid unnecessary risks. I have arranged a couple of royal guards to accompany you and your friends to see this creature. They should arrive first thing in the morning. Should any complication arise, don't hesitate to contact me immediately. I wish you the best of luck.

Your mentor, Princess Celestia"

Well, it was settled. Tomorrow was going to be an interesting day, to say the least. With everything in order, Twilight went to bed. She would need to be well rested.

OXOXO

It was nighttime. A beautiful night, Samus noticed. The repairs were going a lot slower than she predicted; but then again, she only had one working arm. She was unsure of how to feel. Crippled in an unknown planet with no real means of defense or offense, and yet she was feeling at peace, as if this world had no problems at all. What she was sure of was the fact that she was very tired. Sleeping was not the same thing as being unconscious, after all. Almost the instant she lay on her favorite chair, she fell asleep. Tomorrow would demand her full attention, and rest was a necessity for that.

OXOXO

Twilight had awakened. It was still early, but she was well rested. She woke Spike up and told him to prepare his things. They needed to get ready for today's expedition. The guards would arrive any minute now, and they needed to be briefed on the plan of action. With a groan, then a stretch, Spike got out of his basket to pack his things and make some breakfast.

Just as everything was packed and ready (books, snacks, a map of the area, and more books), there was knock on the door. When Twilight opened it, she saw Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie standing outside. She welcomed them and invited them inside. The only ones missing were Fluttershy and the Princess's guards.

"So, everypony ready?" asked an excited Twilight. They all nodded. "Come on in. Now where is Fluttershy? It's not like her to come late."

"Oh, she went ahead with the Crusaders." answered Pinkie Pie.

"WHAT?!" Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Applejack yelled in unison.

"Yeah! Didn't you know? I thought you knew, otherwise I would've been like 'Hey, you can't go. You have to ask your sisters.' and stuff. You really need to take better care for your little sisters."

"Don't worry, I'm sure Fluttershy can take care of the Crusaders. You know her." Twilight tried to calm the elder sisters and role model, but was met with skeptic eyes. She gave them a sheepish smile when the door was knocked on again "Great! They're here" without losing any time, the librarian rushed to the door and opened it. Behind it were her brother, Shining Armor, and two other ponies, all clad in golden armor.

"Hey, Twily!" Twilight gave a low 'squee' and rushed to hug her big brother.

A moment later, her friends exited the library as well and they all exchange greetings. After being briefed on the course of action, Shining Armor began talking "So I take everypony is ready? Good! Now, let me introduce you to my comrades. This is Iron Shield..." he indicated to the light gray pegasus behind him, he gave a small bow with his head "...and this is Spearhead." the black earth pony imitated his partner and bowed as well. "They will be coming with us to make sure nopony is hurt. And as the captain of the Royal Guard, I'm here to make sure this creature isn't a threat to Equestria. If everypony is ready, I suggest we depart now." With that, they all followed Rainbow Dash to the crash site with a mix of excitement and nervousness, ready for their new adventure.

OXOXO

Morning finally came, and with it, the orange foal. Samus awoke and flinched when she rolled on her injured arm. Now fully awake thanks to the pain, she saw the scooter pony had returned. Equipping her translator and Paralyzer (you could never be too cautious), as well as a new cast for her arm, Samus exited her ship.

Once outside, she saw the foal was not alone; the white unicorn and yellow horse were with her, both probably the same age as the scooter rider. The yellow pegasus that bandaged her arm was also there. It warned the little ones "Now, now girls. Try not to frighten the poor little thing. It may still be confused about yesterday." Apparently, the big spaceship behind Samus went ignored, and Samus could do nothing but meet the pony's gaze with incredulity in her eyes.

After an awkward moment, the human finally spoke "I apologize for my behavior yesterday; I'm not familiar with this place. I'm grateful to you and your friends." This shocked her visitors, except the orange one.

"You can talk?!" As soon as the shock passed, the bigger pony hid half its face behind its mane and barely whispered "I'm sorry. Um... I didn't know you could, you know, talk. Oh, I feel so ashamed! I'm really sorry!" the shy pony finished as it lowered its head.

"Forgive Fluttershy. She..." began the little pegasus "...is really shy. But how come you didn't speak yesterday if you can talk. You gave us a nasty scare!" Samus simply gave a little chuckle.

"That's because I couldn't. You see this thing?" she pointed to the translator in her ear "It's a translator. It lets me understand what you say, and make what I say sound understandable to you. Now that we understand each other; I'm Samus, Samus Aran." she extended her good arm to offer a handshake. The foal seemed to understand the gesture, as she took it and shook it with her hoof.

"I'm Scoolatoo. And those are Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Fluttershy." Scootaloo said as she pointed to the respective ponies. They all nodded or greeted her. Those had to be the most ridiculous names Samus had ever heard; and she had heard a lot. At least 'Rainbow Dash' made sense. These ponies only furthered the line of what was considered strange. A scooter-riding pony named Scootaloo? Come on!

A few moments of awkward silent followed, Samus being watched with excitement and eagerness by the younger ponies, and with fear and nervousness by the older one. Those moments were broken when Sweetie Belle asked rather randomly "Are you an alien?" Samus could do nothing but raise an eyebrow at the question. When Sweetie Belle got no answer, she repeated the question.

"I... guess you could say that. Where I'm from, the word has lost all meaning." the hunter finally answered. It made sense; when you spend most of your audiences with all kinds of sentient species and leaders, the word 'alien' kind of loses its meaning.

"Ooh!" was the simple reaction from all three foals.

Samus was about to ask about this world they were in, but her attention was caught by a cyan pegasus landing near the ponies. Soon after that, the rest of the group entered her vision; however, she could see something hide behind some bushes, most likely scared of her presence. Another awkward silence ensued.

It was Rainbow Dash who interrupted it this time, as she greeted the alien with enthusiasm "Hi Samus! These are my friends..." Before she could finish, Pinkie Pie was already face to face with Samus, eying her intensely. Samus could only return the pink pony's gaze with her emotionless expression.

A couple of seconds later, Pinkie Pie backed a little, and with a gigantic smile on her face, shouted with force "Welcome to Equestria! We hope your stay is a pleasant one!" while confetti blew up from somewhere. And yet again, the line for strange grew further.

The rest of the mares were introduced by Pinkie Pie. Her energy deeply annoyed Samus, but she said nothing in order to avoid any conflict between the two species. Samus then noticed the armor-wearing stallions, who didn't share the friendliness and energy the mares had. They had a more serious, 'we-are-here-only-for-business' look on their face. Guards, she presumed, if the armor was any indication.

The white unicorn introduced his fellow guards as 'Iron Shield' and 'Spearhead', names even more ridiculous than 'Scootaloo', and that was saying something. However, the cream of the cake was the captain himself; his name was 'Shining Armor'. Shining Armor, a name made even more ridiculous by the fact that he was wearing armor that happened to shine; as well as the stupid phrase 'Prince in shining armor'. So what to do with this level of ridiculousness? The only thing Samus hadn't done in years. She laughed.

Hard.

Samus began laughing so much, her arm began hurting a lot, but did nothing to lessen her laughing. Tears even began rolling down her cheek. Tears! She had probably made a grave mistake, offending the Captain of the Guard and all, but she could bring herself to care at the moment. What was next? Magical princesses? Rainbow factories? A haunted forest? The sheer amount of silliness was too much to bear, even to her. What made the scene even stranger was that the pink pony had joined her laughter, and even Iron Shield gave a chuckle or two. The rest of the ponies just looked at them with annoyance, amusement, or confusion on their faces. Shining Armor just looked at her with all three.

After a few minutes passed, Samus regained her composure, as well as her serious face, and proceeded to apologize "I apologize, I don't know what came into me. I'm not usually like this. Please forgive my offense." Shining Armor had patiently waited for her to stop laughing before returning to the conversation.

"It's all right. No offense taken. I am, however, in the need to investigate your..." he looked behind Samus, at her ship.

"Gunship?" she finished for him.

"Yes, your 'gunship'. We just need to make sure it poses no threat to our land. I hope you understand."

Samus sighed "Let me save you the trouble. It does pose a threat to your land. It was a ship built for combat. It's got all kinds of weaponry and functions. However, the crash has damaged most of my equipment and it is now unable to fly, or do anything really. It's also out of fuel. I don't suppose you have the materials and tools required to repair it. Oh, and it is the only thing I have as a shelter. If you are going to inspect it, go ahead. Just don't break anything more than it already is. I'd hate it if my ship exploded." This made the guards surround her, ready to attack at the lowest threat signal. She simply raised her hands in sign of surrender, her face not showing the least fear, or any emotion for that matter. She may dislike the next moments, but at least she was being honest with all of them.

"Then I'm afraid we'll have to take you with us. Twilight, please call Spike; we need to send a letter to the princess. Now, Samus, we will take you to Princess Celestia; she will know what to do with you."

Great. Samus was going to trial for something she wasn't even sure she did. The rustling of a nearby bush brought her attention, and from it came a small purple dragon.

"Ridley!" Before anypony could react, Samus had leapt across the distance between herself and the dragon. She quickly took her Paralyzer and hit the purple reptile on the head with her weapon, then aimed it at his cowering form. She had a look of pure rage on her features.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw the mares and the guards ready to attack once again; the horns on the unicorns' heads began to glow, and were aimed at her. She then saw her victim again, and realized it was on the ground with its claws covering its head, trembling in fear. The sight made her feel horrible inside. This wasn't a ruthless Pirate Leader; this was a baby cowering in fear, hurt by her loss of control.

She dropped her weapons and fell to her knees, mentally paralyzed; she wouldn't cause another death by her lack of criteria. Her face went from angry to regretful. She apologized to the dragon, and told the guards to tie her up; she would not let her emotions get the better of her. She no longer had the energy to resist any thing they did to her. The guards simply looked at each other, not sure what just happened. Applejack offered her rope, breaking yet another tense silence.

OXOXO

Samus was tied up, her head and spirit down. She was being carried on a wagon, surrounded by three guard stallions, a baby dragon, six mares, and three fillies. They were headed toward a place called Canterlot; the capital, she supposed. The journey was silent for her; she spoke no word. She could see the fillies trying to cheer up the abused dragon, Spike; and failing to do so.

Spike was seated on Twilight's back, casting his attacker occasional hateful glances and rubbing the bump on his head. Fluttershy was flying near the dragon, concern evident in her face. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were discussing something with the captain. Pinkie Pie was unusually cheerful for some reason; she was definitely the oddest one. Rarity was showing concern for the fillies, trying in vain to keep them away from the dangerous human. The other two guards simply kept pulling the wagon she was in. She could escape anytime she wanted; the rope could be easily disposed of, and taking care of the guards would be simple enough. Her life as a bounty hunter made all of that and more possible.

And yet, there she was, charged of being dangerous and a threat to the peace of the land. Rightfully so, after the little scene she had performed with an innocent child. She sighed. How far was this Canterlot, anyway? She just wanted it to end, return home, and carry on with her life.

But did she really wanted her life back?

She had never felt so at peace before she landed in this peaceful land. A fact that made her remember why she couldn't stay. She was a threat, a danger to defenseless creatures, and that was something this land certainly didn't need.

So distracted was she with her thoughts that she failed to notice they had arrived at an enormous castle. She noticed, however, when Shining Armor shook her to gain her attention "We're here. Don't try anything funny; there are at least a couple hundred guards ready to attack if prompted to. You will be taken to the Princess, who will determine your fate." His words were harsh, but she expected no less from a captain.

She was escorted to a big hall, with a tall ceiling and decorated with windows mosaics. At the center of the room was a pony, a winged unicorn at least twice the size of Shining Armor. She was a royal white, a sun tattoo on her flank, and a mane that resembled the sky auroras that were rarely seen in the nights of her native planet of K-2L.

As soon as every pony entered the room, they all knelt to their ruler. Samus didn't; she simply stared at the imposing figure in the center of the room. She saw Twilight signaling her to bow with a move of her head, but Samus simply shook her head. "Sorry, but I don't bow to anyone." Her attitude could cost her dearly, but she had a code to follow. The princess didn't seem offended, though. She simply made a movement to indicate the guards to leave. They reluctantly obeyed, taking the fillies and dragon with them; and left Samus alone with the Princess of the Sun and the six mares that represented the Elements of Harmony.

After a couple of minutes silently studying Samus, Princess Celestia finally spoke "You must be Samus. Welcome to Canterlot Castle. I must say, I was expecting to meet you on different circumstances, but alas, it seems it was not meant to be that way." she looked a little disappointed, but continued nonetheless, "Do you know why you have been brought to me?"

Samus closed her eyes and nodded "Yes. I know why I've been brought to you. I can take anything you throw at me, so don't hesitate to do your worst." Celestia simply gave her a smirk.

"Excellent!"

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