• Member Since 17th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Keeper-of-Harmony


You can't destroy darkness, you can only repel it.

Sequels1

E

"My name is Rick Gärtners, and I write this diary to whomever comes across it. I am a thirty-eight year-old male with no spouse, but that's irrelevant right now. If you do happen to come across this, note for what you're about to read is a record of my life's history; day by day, month by month, and year by year. But never will you expect what's written in this forgotten journal. So sit a while, my readers, as you'll see how being shown to "kindness" can change my malevolent life... forever."

A Fluttershy rendition of 'My Little Dashie' and written out of pure inspiration of becoming a writer.

2020: Story is undergoing revision. When it'll be done is not estimated.

Chapters (11)
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Comments ( 108 )

This is a awsome fic. Continue the work. :twilightsmile:

1586319
Most kind, but I can't jump the gun yet. Until this receives more positive score then will I incline to continue. Thanks anyway.

Nice to see this up. It's a great fic and I hope you make more :pinkiehappy:

1599227
Thank you. It's good comments like those that motivate me.

Beautiful! Just simply beautiful! Plz finish!:fluttershysad:

[youtube=http://m.youtube.com/index?client=mv-google&gl=US&rdm=m8hynf1r3#/watch?v=so6IQ4GYm2o] Robcakeran53 would love this! :fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry:/:fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry: Now if you excuse me(starts sobbing)I GOTTA CRY!:fluttershbad::fluttershbad:

1611762
Red - Never Be The Same...

Darn it! That song compliments this so much even I teared up inside. Thank you.

Dat cover...
HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG

*Dies of instant diabetes*

1586329 Well here is another, you did a very great job it definently has that my little dashie feel to it. I couldn't see any spelling errors, in all honesty it still feels it is moving a bit fast but that might just be me, you are doing much better at adding details to the story and displaying emotions. Once again relating to the too fast note i feel angel may have died off too quick but it is fine as is. You can pm me or reply to the following question, about what age will fluttershy be when the time skips stop?

I will reread this again tomorrow and pm anything else i might pick up or suggest.:pinkiesmile:

~May your life be filled with joyous laughter and endless smiles.~:pinkiehappy:

1645470
You do have a pinpoint vision about it pacing a little "too fast", and I can't help but heartily agree upon that statement. I really haven't intended on focusing with this story much, I mean after all it is a MLD rip-off so the idea is unoriginal at best. But I chose to write this on behalf of my gratitude that MLD inspired me becoming a writer (as a means of proving people I'm considered more than a lazy gamer-type).

Pardon me, I have a tendency typing what I think. Anyway, if I remember correctly Fluttershy will reach age of seventeen (it being fourteen years she's been raised). Thanks for an accurate review! I'll surely PM in case there is an idea clunking around.

1649782 Yes it is essentially a MLD knock off but it is very different in many way such as the personality of who your writing off. Dashie tends to be headstrong and fluttershy tends to be more reserved and timid except round those she loves or close friends. You seem to capture fluttershy's personality though out the ages very well. You probably will better at writing fluttershy fics better than most writers here. Just remember practice makes perfect.:pinkiehappy:

HHH!!! ƒluttershy! MUST READ! :yay::heart:

1672536
Thank you for sharing those videos. But don't think this is the ending yet. In Keeper of Harmony a small implication states that a certain "someone" finds the diary and reads the aftermath. In fact, the introductory chapter of it has already been published. I hope you'll find it to your liking thus far.

this was sooooo good!!!!!! i mean sure its a fluttershy version of my little dashie but its still great and unlike MLD were i almost started crying, i cried sooo much from this and i very rarely cry javascript:smilie(':fluttercry:');javascript:smilie(':fluttercry:');. Fluttershy is the best pony of all time and if i hade to deal with raising fluttershy i would care and love the heck out of her

1685376
It touches me reading your comment. Thank you.

Third rule: you need a bath!

...I just got to here, and there are too many grammar mistakes...I'm really sorry, but...I just can't. :fluttercry:

1694208
Grammar mistakes? I mean I could tell there's either few or plenty I'm missing, and I've gotten this reviewed by few and it seems to work fine. Maybe if you help telling me what these mistakes are I can certainly get to correcting them.

1694792
Well...I mean...maybe it's your...word choice sometimes? I'm not actually quite sure what it is, something just seems...off...while I'm reading...:fluttershbad:

*looks at update sees story is complete* And on my birthday too?! Oh, THANK YOU SO MUCH!:rainbowkiss:

1695271
I think I might have caught on to what you're saying, so I'll see what I can do. I'm daily fixing some noticeable errors here and there in the meantime, so don't let the tiniest mistakes stop you from reading, but only if you want to continue that is.

1699942
I simply MUST keep reading! It's ƒluttershy! :yay:

Hey i'm guessing you are taking the last half of your fic to work on so let me know if you need any help on anything.:pinkiesmile:

1730135
Absolutely! I'll work on a log right now and send you a PM of it, then you can scan it and determine what sentences/paragraphs need improving.

1730739 I love it!!! You are getting better each time. I cant wait for your next installment.:pinkiehappy:

So....many...feels....:raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::pinkiesad2::pinkiesad2::pinkiesad2::pinkiesad2::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::applecry::applecry::applecry:

I am shamed to say... I was not affected by the feels...

2200127 No worries, there shall certainly be 'MOARRRRR'.

2207987 It varies. We can only wait to truly find out.

I know it sounds cheesy,but I cried a little at what he said about fluttershy:fluttercry:.I hope that everything will be alright.

2212829 I think that's compassionate of you to feel that way. We'll have to see what'll happen next.

Thats a nice little couch. I wish I had a nice little couch :fluttershyouch: .
With that out of the way, it was meh. 7/10 :raritydespair:

2226449 I thank you for your honest thought, and for the rating! You have my commendation.

9.9/10 for me mein fuend :scootangel:

DUN DUN DUN lol it say it goes suddenly black and then celestia's face appears reminds me of slender lol

ate applejacks for breakfast:applejackconfused:... 'no dont eat mah sister!:applecry: YOU TROLL!:flutterrage:

2212829
dont feel ashamed I have shed many a manly tear during the reading of this fiction

BUCKING CLIFFHANGER:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:
oh and:trollestia:

There are several things that I must address.

This story was "interesting" to read, but it was just a knock off of MLD, even stealing some lines from the original (Yes, I have read it that many times)
The protagonist was one sided and uninteresting, and he developed very unfeasibly during the story.
The ending was short and, in my eyes, ineffective. I wasn't struck by feels because Fluttershy and the man are dealing with their emotions in a much too clinical way. Come on man, the guy is having his daughter stripped away, and there isn't much detail in his emotions at all.
Also, there were some grammatical mistakes and spelling errors that need to be addressed.

Overall, its a fair story, but the emotions were underplayed, and its been done before.

2264771 In the comments below (unless you have Oldest First instead of Newest First) I had already explained about this story being a rendition to the original. Yes, there were either a few or several lines stolen, but recreations end up that way sometimes. I am a bit shamed for writing a rip-off from the original (like many others you interpreted), but my one BIG reason I did this was because, as said in my latest blog post, My Little Dashie inspired me to become a writer (And from what you can already tell I'm not an expert) and I felt that I should upload it as a gratitude. I think I'll add that to the description, actually.

I can't say anything that'll change the fact about this story. And at least you commented with a critique that, later at a point, will help remind me how much harder I must do for my future chapters or such.

There kind of is one thing I might add if it serves any important purpose; this was my very first fanfic. Sadly it had to be a recreation.... Anyways, thanks for giving this story a fair review.

Don't worry about it, I understand. Tell me when part two's ready and I'll be there ASAP.:raritywink:

There's nothing left for him on Earth. I vote that he goes to Equestria to be with the one that meant the world to him.

I vote he goes to equestria!:raritydespair:

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