The story of the everyday life of a human hired by mares to provide comfort for their needs, all the while exploring Equestrian life through the eyes of his customers. Set in the Gentlemanverse.
This is... Honestly? Such bullshit. It's contrived, extremely weak, and doesn't even make much sense given the characters involved. I had been excited for an update to this fic, but... No. Now it's just disappointment and a bit of anger. Hopefully you fix it, or at least somehow compensate for something so shat-out and hackneyed later. I'll be keeping an eye on the fic, but I just... yeah. This chapter was straight garbage.
Excellent update! I'm glad I was able to lend a hand during the editing process. Really looking forward to seeing what's in store for Harry in the next chapter
Ahhh... Peppering the story with problems. Good... good... Pretty good dilemma between job and personal feelings. Now ignore those who say this chapter wasn't good because frankly, you now gave yourself the opportunity to go several ways:
1. He runs after the girl, clarifies things and states that she wasn't a "job" for him, more something personal... with the chance of her getting either mad at him or forgiving him whatever it is, he as a gentleman will endure it. Even if she beats him up.
2. He runs after her and confesses his love and that he will quit his job for her sake
3.After the cat is out of the bag, she (in tears) runs into some danger and Harry comes to the rescue.
This is a minor/major personal problem and I demand to know how this Gentleman handles it! And may I remind you that his actions now as well reflect the entire organization?
So that's why Sea Swirl doesn't like Gentlemen-she was born due to somepony with a similar role which is ostracized in Equestria, and she's ostracized in turn. If you didn't explain the background information and the new customs, I would have been confused beyond belief, but you managed to sew it all up nicely with the ongoing events. It always astounds me when an author weaves cultural and historical information as casually as you do into stories. I wish I could write as fluidly and richly as you and other authors do (AnonponyDASHIE comes to mind). For the plot, a big and a bigger to you, sir. This conflict, while it simply tears the heartstrings for some, is a good change of pace for a romance fic. Cheerilee's chapters were good, and now we get to see more of what a broken relationship looks like between humans and ponies (I know most clopfics are meant to be sappy, romantic, and uplifting, but tell me with absolute confidence that you're not tired of reading flawless relationship clop) Well, as always, you outdo yourself with each chapter! Let's see where this all ends up!
P.S. When I first read the word "misborn", I instantly searched it up. It means "born to misfortune". Ten seconds later, Sea Swirl explains what it really means. Coincidentally, both that and the meaning you provided fits the context nicely. Nice wordplay!
2724039 What? But I always try to think three chapters ahead! At least for my stories... And I only listed some options. There are of course much much more alternatives possible, including some gory ones where she blames him to be the same piece of scum that caused her life to be miserable like this and stabs him to death 54 times with a crazy grin... BUT this would be way off the track...
Yeah... As soon as Sea Swirl mentioned her hatred of Gentlemen in the previous chapter, one could tell that this wouldn't end well. But as was mentioned earlier, that was one hell of a ride to get there!
Harry, you brought this on yourself. Nevertheless, I'm still pulling for you and Sea Swirl to work things out!
Even put the Trope Name for it in the fic, eh? A Humiliation Conga indeed... poor Sea Swirl. She tried so hard, and everything went wrong. No wonder she felt like what was happening was a dream. And, in a sense, it was.
Interesting reason for her animus. I wonder what she's feeling right now. She's right about Harry being a liar. But what else? Why does she hate 'Comfort Horses'? It may seem like the question is easy to answer, but it's not that simple. After all, it was the company that wouldn't let her mother buy off the father of her foal.
Let’s not forget that there's a step between "I was screwed over by a company providing prostitutes" and "I hate prostitutes", since her anecdote implies that the mess wasn't really the stallion's fault. That step might be something as simple as projecting her hatred onto a more readily available target (the individual prostitutes), to a feeling that anypony/person willingly working the business now somehow makes light of the suffering of those who had less rights in the past. Or, perhaps, that the humans working as Gentlemen now are willingly blinding themselves to how they are exploited (the chapter before had them speculating whether the Gentlemen are treated well, in other words: they don’t know for certain).
We’ll have to wait and see what particular reasons, if any, she’ll give, should they meet again; and whether those reason are in any way rational or not.
Oh what the hell man! You broke me! Or something...
I don't understand what just happened there... I can't believe I just read an x-rated story and thought to myself: "Yeah, yeah. The sex is nice and all, but when is the exciting part?!"
P.S. You're also making me think I really need to ramp up the drama in my own story.
Yes! Another chapter at last and it does NOT disappoint. Mayhap we'll be seeing the next two soon?
2723932 Almost makes me wish Eddie would make a cameo. Wouldn't even have to be related to our boy's issues except perhaps serving as an example of what to absolutely not do.
I'm quietly, mentally palm-facing the whole time in the back of my mind.
Woohoo! It continues!
When he talks about how he feels lonely, it reminds me of my own loneliness. Ah well… I can't currently do anything about that, so I guess I'll just heap on more lonely, to fuel my imagination in it's attempts to conjure up realistic hallucinations of a certain blue pegasus.
Even though we knew it was coming, I couldn't help but feel a little happy for him. I feel like this problem needs to be resolved as soon as possible before we go back to the other story where another couple is starting in their relationship.
2723997 I had an inkling about that but it just slipped my mind, I'm glad you reminded me of that, because I think that's what happened to me and Harry when we failed to listen in that part of her background as to why she hates Gentleman.
Well you certainly delivered quite nicely. I am a little bit curious as to why Rainbow holds Harry with such a hostility. More important is how Harry has become so entrenched in his work that he knows almost nothing else. Perhaps this was the reason for his vacation? It wasn't medical leave it was more an opportunity to observe him. Who is the masked mare!?
Don't suppose you could arrange your complaints into a more coherent and I dunno perhaps constructive criticism by outlining what you thought was wrong rather that calling it all garbage? Oh and Twilight was outright garbage. Needs no explaining.
2724157 A little bit yes. Nothing too insane as far as I know and nothing permanently damaging. Just a little bit o' nip in your sugar is what Im saying
It's a bit more complicated than that. I'm hoping that after discussing with shira in regards to building up Harry away from the blank slate status he's in, I'll be able to get to the heart of it in the next few chapters.
“You know, back on Earth, we make glue using hooves,” I replied neutrally.
Best insult/zinger/threat in the history of man. Ever. We're done, we can stop thinking of ways to insult/ threaten ponies, because that right there is the pinnacle. Nothing more can be said, nothing can be added or detracted. That is pure gold. I was flailing my arms in laughter, honestly, that was the first time in a long while that's happened!
Trouble in Paradise.
Ouch, poor Sea Swirl... Curious to see how this relationship twist unfolds next chapter
'Nuff said.
Oh God, the feels!!!
I don't like rd much with her attitude.
This is... Honestly? Such bullshit. It's contrived, extremely weak, and doesn't even make much sense given the characters involved. I had been excited for an update to this fic, but... No. Now it's just disappointment and a bit of anger. Hopefully you fix it, or at least somehow compensate for something so shat-out and hackneyed later. I'll be keeping an eye on the fic, but I just... yeah. This chapter was straight garbage.
Excellent update! I'm glad I was able to lend a hand during the editing process. Really looking forward to seeing what's in store for Harry in the next chapter
Finally! I have been looking forward to this for months!
And there we go; can't say it was unexpected, but the journey was definitely worth it. Eagerly awaiting more!
Oh wow, I would of been pissed.
"Oh yeah! Well fuck you Misborn Swirl!"
Then I would feel bad later ...and then get angry again and be completely FUBAR for awhile
Ahhh... Peppering the story with problems. Good... good... Pretty good dilemma between job and personal feelings.
Now ignore those who say this chapter wasn't good because frankly, you now gave yourself the opportunity to go several ways:
1. He runs after the girl, clarifies things and states that she wasn't a "job" for him, more something personal... with the chance of her getting either mad at him or forgiving him whatever it is, he as a gentleman will endure it. Even if she beats him up.
2. He runs after her and confesses his love and that he will quit his job for her sake
3.After the cat is out of the bag, she (in tears) runs into some danger and Harry comes to the rescue.
This is a minor/major personal problem and I demand to know how this Gentleman handles it! And may I remind you that his actions now as well reflect the entire organization?
I was surprised to see that AnonponyDASHIE was helping. I feel happy :D
dun goof'd up, H.
dun goof'd big time.
Oh, dear.
2723897
Or maybe this.
Well, m libido just got shot straight out of the air
So that's why Sea Swirl doesn't like Gentlemen-she was born due to somepony with a similar role which is ostracized in Equestria, and she's ostracized in turn.
If you didn't explain the background information and the new customs, I would have been confused beyond belief, but you managed to sew it all up nicely with the ongoing events. It always astounds me when an author weaves cultural and historical information as casually as you do into stories. I wish I could write as fluidly and richly as you and other authors do (AnonponyDASHIE comes to mind).
For the plot, a big and a bigger to you, sir. This conflict, while it simply tears the heartstrings for some, is a good change of pace for a romance fic. Cheerilee's chapters were good, and now we get to see more of what a broken relationship looks like between humans and ponies (I know most clopfics are meant to be sappy, romantic, and uplifting, but tell me with absolute confidence that you're not tired of reading flawless relationship clop)
Well, as always, you outdo yourself with each chapter! Let's see where this all ends up!
P.S.
When I first read the word "misborn", I instantly searched it up. It means "born to misfortune". Ten seconds later, Sea Swirl explains what it really means. Coincidentally, both that and the meaning you provided fits the context nicely. Nice wordplay!
Harry, best to get everything sorted out, before she becomes a shell of her former self. FIX THIS DAMN IT!!!
2723897
No. Don't you dare try and think ahead.
Just lean back and let him work his sexy, sexy magic.
I saw this coming from a mile away, but damn if I'm not curious to see how he revolves this issue. Also, I really need to favorite this story.
Yup, just as expected. Curious about RD's reaction.
Oh I hope to see some tsundere dash later on >:D even if it is against gentlemen policy to service the elements
2724039
What? But I always try to think three chapters ahead! At least for my stories... And I only listed some options. There are of course much much more alternatives possible, including some gory ones where she blames him to be the same piece of scum that caused her life to be miserable like this and stabs him to death 54 times with a crazy grin... BUT this would be way off the track...
Initial reaction: Yes! HELL YES! NEW GENTLEMEN CHAPTER!!!
After reading: No, Sea Swirl, wait! . . . Damn. . . heavy stuff here. . . hope things turn out alright. . . NEW GENTLEMEN CHAPTER!!!
Yeah... As soon as Sea Swirl mentioned her hatred of Gentlemen in the previous chapter, one could tell that this wouldn't end well. But as was mentioned earlier, that was one hell of a ride to get there!
Harry, you brought this on yourself. Nevertheless, I'm still pulling for you and Sea Swirl to work things out!
Even put the Trope Name for it in the fic, eh? A Humiliation Conga indeed... poor Sea Swirl. She tried so hard, and everything went wrong. No wonder she felt like what was happening was a dream. And, in a sense, it was.
Interesting reason for her animus. I wonder what she's feeling right now. She's right about Harry being a liar. But what else? Why does she hate 'Comfort Horses'? It may seem like the question is easy to answer, but it's not that simple. After all, it was the company that wouldn't let her mother buy off the father of her foal.
Let’s not forget that there's a step between "I was screwed over by a company providing prostitutes" and "I hate prostitutes", since her anecdote implies that the mess wasn't really the stallion's fault. That step might be something as simple as projecting her hatred onto a more readily available target (the individual prostitutes), to a feeling that anypony/person willingly working the business now somehow makes light of the suffering of those who had less rights in the past. Or, perhaps, that the humans working as Gentlemen now are willingly blinding themselves to how they are exploited (the chapter before had them speculating whether the Gentlemen are treated well, in other words: they don’t know for certain).
We’ll have to wait and see what particular reasons, if any, she’ll give, should they meet again; and whether those reason are in any way rational or not.
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ly3u5rXkxW1qmljor.gif
Oh what the hell man! You broke me! Or something...
I don't understand what just happened there... I can't believe I just read an x-rated story and thought to myself: "Yeah, yeah. The sex is nice and all, but when is the exciting part?!"
P.S. You're also making me think I really need to ramp up the drama in my own story.
Yes! Another chapter at last and it does NOT disappoint. Mayhap we'll be seeing the next two soon?
2723932 Almost makes me wish Eddie would make a cameo. Wouldn't even have to be related to our boy's issues except perhaps serving as an example of what to absolutely not do.
2724039 Couldn't help but hear that in Bender's voice. The effect was awesome.
pure awesome!
http://mylittlefacewhen.com/f/9064/
http://mylittlefacewhen.com/f/8985/
http://mylittlefacewhen.com/f/8994/
http://mylittlefacewhen.com/f/8433/
http://mylittlefacewhen.com/f/8396/
A jealous rainbow dash
but please http://mylittlefacewhen.com/f/5326/
I'm quietly, mentally palm-facing the whole time in the back of my mind.
Woohoo! It continues!
When he talks about how he feels lonely, it reminds me of my own loneliness. Ah well… I can't currently do anything about that, so I guess I'll just heap on more lonely, to fuel my imagination in it's attempts to conjure up realistic hallucinations of a certain blue pegasus.
Even though we knew it was coming, I couldn't help but feel a little happy for him. I feel like this problem needs to be resolved as soon as possible before we go back to the other story where another couple is starting in their relationship.
2723997
I had an inkling about that but it just slipped my mind, I'm glad you reminded me of that, because I think that's what happened to me and Harry when we failed to listen in that part of her background as to why she hates Gentleman.
Incoming train wreck, I have heard your siren song and embrace your destructive touch on our protagonist's life.
You cock.
Well you certainly delivered quite nicely. I am a little bit curious as to why Rainbow holds Harry with such a hostility. More important is how Harry has become so entrenched in his work that he knows almost nothing else. Perhaps this was the reason for his vacation? It wasn't medical leave it was more an opportunity to observe him. Who is the masked mare!?
2723766
Don't suppose you could arrange your complaints into a more coherent and I dunno perhaps constructive criticism by outlining what you thought was wrong rather that calling it all garbage? Oh and Twilight was outright garbage. Needs no explaining.
Poor Harry.
Now he has a table on his legs.
That's not good.
HELL YEAH NEXT CHAPTER OF GFM IS OUT!
2724157
A little bit yes. Nothing too insane as far as I know and nothing permanently damaging. Just a little bit o' nip in your sugar is what Im saying
Great Job Lahari! Can't wait for the next update (hopefully it won't take 3 months though :P) t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSvMlkkumpE_uMDmC-kXiEp-b5lsSuYLzWtIw6Nq0sK_KmwLj0zcA
2724615
My guess is that RD is hot for Spitfire and sees Harry as competition.
And, as I said before, great story. I'm really liking this.
Why do I imagine Harry sounding like this?
[youtube=GkzbWjcETQU]
Man, I go to sleep, and everyone goes online.
2723636
It's a bit more complicated than that. I'm hoping that after discussing with shira in regards to building up Harry away from the blank slate status he's in, I'll be able to get to the heart of it in the next few chapters.
2723656
No shit.
2723662
Huh. Hey Fang. First time commenting, or did I miss your comment before?
2723679
Heh. A series of escalation... I think I'll aim for that on my last few chapters.
2723687
2723735
There's a reason for it. Thing is, it could only be explained next story.
2723766
Ah, sorry it wasn't your type then.
2723771
Yeah. Shira gave me homework. He gave me homework!
2723787
Hope you found it good. ^_^
2723794
Yeah. It may get a bit rougher for him.
2724918
That does make a lot of sense.
2723883
LOL. Damn. That would have damaged everyone involved. XD
2723897
I don't mind writing that as an alternate ending. But no, won't be that way.
2723904
Yeah, me too. And damn is he good.
2723907 2723922
Yup, yup, and yup.
2723932
I miss the old Eddie.
2724946 Will you please make another chapter to cheer up a reader...?
2723944
That a good thing?
2723965
XD Thomas is being the voice of reason now, eh?
2723997
Misborn is actually an archaic term, and does mean a child born out of wedlock (if I got that term right).
2724017
Tell you what, he'll try.
2724030
Someone said we needed more conflict. XD
Best insult/zinger/threat in the history of man. Ever.
We're done, we can stop thinking of ways to insult/ threaten ponies, because that right there is the pinnacle. Nothing more can be said, nothing can be added or detracted. That is pure gold.
I was flailing my arms in laughter, honestly, that was the first time in a long while that's happened!