In The End
Twilight and the gang walked back to Ponyville glad that Rainbow Dash hadn't killed herself during the process. Somewhere along the way, Rainbow started to wake up.
"Hi guys."
They all turned to see Rainbow starting to stir. She slid off AJ back and rubbed her head. Everyone panicked, they didn't know what to do, all except Pinkie that is.
The hyper-active pink mare pulled out a enormous wooden mallet from out of nowhere and hit her on the head. Rendering Rainbow unconscious. Again.
Twilight and the gang set out again, heading toward Ponyville. They finally managed to arrive, crossing the stone bridge, they made their way toward Rarity's carousel and upon arrival proceeded to hand out high-fives all around. But that all ended when they did the head count.
Somepony was missing, and only now did AJ realize her back seemed to be free of any weight. They watched in disbelief as a unconscious sandy brown pony floated down the river, Rainbow must've fallen off while they crossed the bridge. A fact that Twilight did not like at all.
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"
Twilight doesn't always swear. But when she does, she's probably really pissed. Twilight and the gang watched as the sandy brown mare floated down the stream motionless.
"I give up. Wanna go grab lunch?"
The other four mares nodded and off they went. Leaving Rainbow Dash to fend for herself. Like I said, what great friends.
This is just a short crappy chapter I'm gonna write before I start the countdown to season three (HELL YEA!). You guys wanna write what happens next I insist. But please PM me before you do.
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(Dryly) Yeah, best friends ever. In all sincerity though, I kinda thought it was a cruel joke from the start and now they're leaving their friend to fend for herself... while she's unconscious, floating down a river and in very real danger of dying. Yeah, loyalty has to work both ways guys! And wny the hell would they have actual lava or a trap that was literally impossible to pull off as Daring had? Honestly, the only thing this joke could ever have possibly accomplished was ruin her (if season one's anything to go off, fragile) self-esteem. Charming lot those five are ain't they?
Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying this story, but her 'friends' are just douchebags plain and simple.
1541561 Point taken
That felt... rushed.
Here's what happens next: Spike is fishing in the same river Dash is floating down. He reels her in and believes he caught a Daring Do. Thinking he can do with her as he wishes, since he caught her fair-and-square, he drags her into a cave inside an active volcano to search for treasure. Dash wakes up in just as the danger is getting really intense, lave rising around her, rocky ceiling collapsing, and Spike is just excited about seeing how "Daring Do" is going to get them out of this perilous predicament.
1543246 You could write that. Since am no longer the author of the series, you go ahead. You look good enough, BTW Loved your story.
1541561 Could've just done the makeup on her with her awake in Chapter 1, then make fake effects in the temple, like arrows being just computer-animated, and tomato soup as lava. But yea, total douches.
I shall put it simply: I lol'd, even though I spotted a few mistakes.
Erm, can I rewrite? I usually do this for Lionblaze's, but this one looks like fun.
1544377 Agreed. On her birthday no less.
1546539
1545701 Sure! just PM me first.
1546656mm kay, ill do it in a while. I ahve a lot on my plate right now.
1543730 I am writing a continuation right now. I'm only doing it for kicks, though, so expect it to be kinda rushed, sloppy, and not as good as my other story. Okay if it's rated Teen for some naughty humor and a little monster gore?
1554794 it's okay
Rainbow passes out which means that cupcakes came into mind. if they kill her then I would kill her in her sleep. but she turns into daring do ok I don't get it. what is she dreaming about that my question
Well, it was pretty decent. I liked it.
FUCK TWI FUCK AJ FUCK PINKIE AND FUCK RARITY EAINBOW DASH IS AWESOME
I angry nao that u made fun of mah wifu
2137167 what about old Flutters?