• Member Since 12th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Wednesday

Turtledude



Comments ( 35 )

Yes, I deleted all the comments. I figured a fresh start on this thing would help a bit. I would get rid of that rating too, but Fimfiction laughed at me and said no. (well, not exactly, but you get the point)

3922554 Fresh start indeed, I like the little extras you added in the edits.:twilightsmile:

3923737 Well, thanks! Glad to see it's getting some feedback.

Tags R Us over here... :rainbowlaugh: Nah but I'm really looking forward to reading this, I just have such a long reading list already :facehoof:

3943133 Derpy riding a velociraptor and holding an RPG while something awesome explodes in the background.

I think your argument may be invalid. :rainbowlaugh:

clopstar

Not sure if pun on popstar, or just a pornstar. Probably the latter, so I guess Nurse Redheart was short on bits.
Few errors in grammar, but they're mostly minor, so don't impact on the story too much, which I'm really enjoying :) Look forward to more.

Reading this chapter again for the second time gave me the same feeling it did the first time. Very somber but I noticed that once again, there was more emphasis on Xero's interaction with Lumens and his feelings about it. Shame about what will happen later on.

Now, for the errors:

muscular, but not cubby. Just... big boned. -chubby

‘You’re still here? I thought you would have left down by now,’ -town

Storm had told me yester she had made a contract with the her, whatever that was suppose to mean.-yesterday.

Also, the dialogue for Lumens and Xero in between the diary entries are in italics instead of the normal text. Same goes for the text afterwards.

5433309 Many thanks for those fixes. This chapter is friggin netorioius for those screwy italics (this is actually the fifth time the chapter has been posted, between the first time I wrote it over a year ago and now). All I can say is that I'm glad the later chapters use a whole lot less of the italics.

one question.

why don't you replace the old chapters with the one which were rewritten?:rainbowhuh:
not that its makes the story bad, but its kind of confusing:pinkiesad2:

The note went on the coffee table, and I left the train car, searchin g for answers.

Through my research, I have found many practical uses for different glyphs and runes of both zebra and ponyorigins.

Too bad Xero had to leave Lumens behind, at least he found Tes.

5445051 I finally saw what you meant. For some reason, it wasn't clicking that I had already posted Wasteland Friendships and Old Threats Arise. I thought I hand't posted them yet. It is fixed now, with the correct chapters I wanted posted. (I fixed it a few days ago, but just now figured out what you were talking about.)

New Perk: Companionship - Congrats! You’ve become one of the most powerful assets of another wastelander. Perhaps it will evolve into a friendship, or maybe you’ll come back two seasons later as the final boss. Who knows!

This one just made me smile like the Chesire Cat...well, as close as humanly possible.

5624510 Who knows, maybe I'm foreshadowing something *cough* :I

That last chapta was awesome ! Hey I like this Tes pov. Also here are problem. It was so fuckin long fuckin ago that I not really fuckin remember fuckin details in old fuckin version. But I fuckin definetely fuckin fill that I fuckin like new version more):rainbowkiss:
And hey what with romance line now? We waiting his comeback to NA to fuck that zebra to make her wtfisthisafoal-foalfactory?
Oh fuck. Not say fuck spoilers.
Hm.. He was dropped in taint.... What if he will fuck some alicorn mare.... Oh okay. Just write it.:twilightsmile:

5834944 The fucking fuck police have fucking arrived mother fuckers!

But here's the biggest thing with Tes' POV... it was never in the original version. I'm kind of planning on doing this with each new companion--writing the chapter they meet Xero in from their POV. It was different, to say the least.

Not quite sure what you mean by this...
"And hey what with romance line now? We waiting his comeback to NA to fuck that zebra to make her wtfisthisafoal-foalfactory?"

"What if he will fuck some alicorn mare"
Probably definitely. Remember, there is an alicorn-like character that appears much later (I had it figured she'd appear about 6 chapters after the Raidersburg/Bandittown chapter, which was where I cut it before redoing the whole thing).

And thanks for heads up! Glad somebody still reads this thing, lol. You might want to keep a look out for another story that parallels this one, though. Might not show up for a few more months, but it should come around eventually. Can't say what it is right NOW because it'll probably spoil this one, lol.

By that "what with romance line?" part I asked if Lumens is actualy his SSP. He kinda promised he will be back. But hell he is kinda half alicorn. He must be sterile for usual ponies. ( And hell I really hate "sterile issue" with protagonists in foe especially after reading Outlaw). But here itsa okay, cuz taking bath in taint is not "minor" mutation hehe.
Also. Will be fun if his Alicornlike issues will slowly pop up. Like "warm feeling" from radiation. And Goddes. She actually must be fuckin intrested to have a good look at him.

5839304 You bring up a good point. I'm still ironing out the later part of the story, since this is still just the very beginning. There's a couple of major things that need to change before then.

He's still part zebra, and if I remember correctly near the end of the original FoE, zebras are immune to mind altering spells, including the Goddess' telepathy and other mind-reading spells.

Plus there will be more revealed about why that Alicorn in the Starward outskirt ruins called him a 'mortal vermin' and was just hellbent on trying to splatter him across the buildings.

Hate is too strong a word, and irked is hardly any better but at least you updated again.

And here comes Foxtrot, I'm looking forward to what changes you're going to do with her. Also, at least Tes doesn't have a legitimate reason to 'get' Xero for anymore since they didn't really do anything in their intoxicated state...well, besides saying drunk talk and possibly making out...yeah I'll stop now:twilightblush:

Also, here are some errors I found:

shard off a broken mirror - of

putting like ammo together and slipping the caps into their own spot- add things between putting and like.

but nopony like him- liked

I also noted Zelkoff's dialogue was off but I wasn't sure if it was intentional or not since his initial sentences weren't linked like that.

p.s:The indent paragraph feature has been around for quite a while, I didn't realize it until someone else pointed it out to me when I got my first story off the ground, which was more than 2 years ago.

5850613
Yeah... sorry for the sudden disappearance and random uploads. I think only you, Regolit, and one other person are the only three that read this thing. I really need to become an active member again and get some "street rep" as the kids say. :L

I'll look back into Zelkoff. There might be some things I forgot.

'putting like ammo' is actually correct. Well, kinda. I'll reword it, but i was trying to get out that it was putting 'same ammunition types' together. Might just change it to "putting like things together: .44's with .44's, tools with other tools, and caps with caps". its putting things that are alike in the same category.

EDIT: Shard off a broken mirror. Again, kind of like 'putting like things together', but this one more poorly chosen on my part. You know the phrase 'chip off the old block'? kinda like that. I changed it though, because after reading it a couple times, it could be taken either way and depending on who you are, it could look like a very obvious typo, a very poorly chosen word combination, or just fine. So in the end, I decided to nix it and went with something more clear.

5851518 Eh, I was just kidding on being irked since I'm in the same situation myself with my own story and the one I'm helping with. I think the lack of readership could be blamed on the occasional glitch of story updates not showing up on the feed page. I've missed 3 whole updates for a story before a chapter finally showed up.

Ah, I see though I suppose the wording threw me off but rewording the sentence structure into something simpler is advisable so that other readers don't stumble over them like I did.:derpytongue2:

Granted, english isn't my first language so some phrases are confusing to me, especially L33tspeak.

5852072 lol fucking hate leetspeak. But English isn't your first language? Could have you totally did fooled me.

5834944 Hey, got a question for ya... What would you think of Foxtrot's POV?

5853290 Nope, Chinese is, followed by English though it was my best subject when I was a kid so I understand the standard stuff though popculture references fly over my head since I don't live where the references come from...which is funny since Fallout 3, the first Fallout game I ever played was full of them.

Fuckin good chapta! Hello Fox! :pinkiehappy:
Well, I remembah that I had some issue with Xero's motivation suka. Here he like have a fuckin personal reason blyat to find this Alpine. And Tes too have some hoof in this expedition cus her stable and bla bla. So good. :ajsmug:
Also was quite dissapointed to hear that they actually not fucked in that bar. Awww. Would be fun. :pinkiecrazy:
Also can you make Fox bisexual (prefering mares because of happy wasteland life ofc)? :trixieshiftright: Maybe just point it out in some dialoug somewhere :duck: Pleeeaassee you not need to change anything in plot for this. :scootangel:
And more important their 'romance line' was not developed at all in old version. Like... at all. They like met each other... tata! :heart:Love until grave ' happy ' lesbian paradise. :rainbowwild: It really looked stupid last time. Like you just took two your character and made them fall in love with each other to put them on background. I wand DEVELOPED shit here. :rainbowdetermined2:
You should make Fox pov chapter. :rainbowkiss:She was so undeveloped character. Really want to like her as Tes. And Tes is most likable your character. Vot suchka! :twilightblush:

5868504

Like I said, how about a chapter from foxtrot's perspective? Remember, there was TWO DAYS between when xero got shot by Golden Bit and the time he woke up. What did foxtrot and Tes do in that time? :trixieshiftright:

5871799
Heh, would be fun! Also collar still on her. I thought ghoul had keys on him. She was not sure if new master will be ok with it?
Anyway you are writter suka, not me:twilightsmile:

Your book has been advertised on the new facebook group page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/foebooks/ :)

She was wearing her Stable barding underneath, but even hat didn’t seem to help.

that

I see you added elements from the new game as well as some background into Golden Bit's life before the war. A little sad but a rather appropriate end for a victim of Anger and Malice...or did you change their side effects(Or I'm remembering them wrong)

Huh, my memory doesn't register this part from the original version so I'm guessing most of the chapter is brand new content.
And is it me or is Tes going through more punishment this time round?

7067299 Should get a prize system going here. lol. You are correct. Anger and Malice are same, Tes is taking a bit more of a beating this time through (especially this last chapter), and most of chapter 7 wan't included in the last write-up. If fact, nearly all of part 2 was added here.

YaY! Hope to see him fighting that suparaider again!:rainbowwild:
Awesome chapters!:pinkiehappy:
And what tha fuck he said he have special somepony? Blyat he still considering that zebra as marefriend?:facehoof:
:twilightsmile:

7209843 Maybe in this story, maybe in another... But I am almost 100% sure that "The Destroyer" will make couple more appearances.

THE GODDESS WILL NOT BE MOCKED BY A MORTAL... VERMIN... SUCH AS YOURSELF, XEROPHYTE!!

Huh... she went through the effort of learning his name... neat:moustache:

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