Deal with the Devil

by fic Write Off

Dr Apple and Missus Hide

"Hsst! Applejack."

I looked around, but there weren't nopony but the settin' sun and I wasn't goin' to burn the last light chasin' some crazy voice. I knew how long days of applebuckin' made me a little stir crazy.

A snake dropped down from the branch above me. "Right here, Applejack."

I ain't scared of snakes. I didn't jump 'cause I was scared, I jus' wanted to adjust my buckin' stance. But I wasn't sacred.

Ok, fine. I might've been a little surprised. Fer Pete's sake, it was a talking snake. How was I s'posed to react?

"Good gravy, don't just drop down on a pony like that." I wasn't going to let some rude feller like that interrupt good applebuckin'.

"I didn't mean to sssscare you," he hissed into my ear. "I came to make you a deal." He pulled an apple off the tree and offered it to me.

"Put the apple in the bucket there." I trotted over to the next few trees. "Ya' might not be able to buck like me, but if you can pick the apples off a few trees, I'd mighty 'preciate it. Heck, I'll haul the apples to the barn for ya."

"I'm not here to pick applesss." He rolled his eyes at me, letting the apple fall from his grasp. "I'm here to proposssse a busssinesss transssaction, ssso to ssspeak."

I galloped over quick as I could, but I was too late. The apple fell on the ground and bounced. "Now, see here. Why'd ya have to drop the poor apple like that. I bet it's bruised, if not completely ruined. I oughta buck ya one for that." I picked up the apple, but jus' as I suspected, it were beyond help. The bottom crushed and the peel split, only one thing could be done. It would have to be—I crossed myself—sauced.

"Applejack, applesss come and go, but thisss offer—"

I interrupted. By yankin' him out of the tree. "Speaking of bizz-i-nizz tranzz-ack-shunzz," I mocked, "you owe me two bits for the apple. And cut that annoyin' hissin' out."

"Let'sss be reasss—"

I raised my hoof. "If yer hissin', I'm kickin'."

"Fine. Stupid horse." He slithered away angrily. Yes, angrily. Kinda deliberate, quick slitherin'. I know it's weird, but I'd never seen a talkin' snake before, much less made one angry. And then the darn thing popped.

I'll admit, this time I was scared. Ain't natural for somethin' to disappear in a cloud of smoke like that. And in its place was some freaky red horned thing. Not too big, but real tall. It stood on its hind legs and had things on the end of its hooves, kinda like Spike, but scary and not funny. And missin' all its hair 'cept for a few patches on its head, face, and under its forelegs. Definitely weren't no pony.

The thing spoke. "Now, Applejack, let's negotiate."

"I don't s'pose I could get the snake back."

"No." It leaned in real close an' my nose tol' me that it ain't brushed his teeth in a long time. "You have an entire apple orchard to harvest, do you not?"

"Course. That's what I was doin' afore you interrupted." Smell or no smell, I wasn't gonna let this thing intimidate me. I leaned in jus' as close and snorted.

He stepped back and rolled his eyes. "Oh dear, you got pony on me," he droned. "How droll."

He leaned in again. "Now, listen here, pony," he spat. Both his words and his spit. Don't know what that feller ate, but his spit kinda burned. I woulda recommended a good tooth-brushin' but I was a mite busy with my I ain't budgin' stare. Good thin' I'm stubborn.

He turned away and mused, like city ponies do when they're lookin' down at somepony. "I was going to do you a favour, and save you all the hard work of applebucking. All you would have to do is sign over your measly soul and all the work would be done—"

"No deal. I ain't signin' anythin' that tries to cut corners on buckin' apples." I tried to make myself look huffy and started walkin' away.

"If you'll let me finish—"

"No. I ain't signin'."

"I was saying—"

"No."

"Let me—"

"No!"

"NOPONY WALKS AWAY FROM THE DEVIL!" His scream set the nearby trees on fire. He might've been just a tiny bit angry. "Either you sign, or I'll make sure you never finish harvesting this orchard."

"No deal. My granny always warned me against makin' deals with the devil." I got as close as I could, and tried to look terrifyin'. "And I'm billin' you for the damage to my trees."

"You've made your choice," he threatened. "Now, you are cursed."

"Cursed? I'll curse you, ya—"

He popped and disappeared in a cloud of smoke again. Somepony needs to buck some manners int' him. Didn't even let me finish my sentence. And knocked me off my hooves, int' a patch of flowers no less.

'Course, it was dark, now. The last hour I said I wouldn't burn, burnt. Least the trees didn't look burnt.

Blech. Dealin' with pushy folks like that always left a bad taste in my mouth. This time literally. I took a bite of the flower I landed on. Not much better, jus' my luck.

Well, no sense wallowin' in a wasted afternoon. Bes' to jus' get the apples back to the farm and ferget all about it.

---

I was plum tired after a long day like that. Even more tuckered than normal. I could barely lift the full buckets, say nothin' 'bout carryin' them all the way back to the barn. I had t' jigger with the wagon so I was draggin' the buckets along. I'm glad nopony was out there to see me. I'da been redder than— well, an apple.

And draggin' wasn't much easier than carryin'. I could go, but not real quick, and I had t' stop 'cause the buckets kept knockin' over. Make matters worse, I couldn't get the idea of that daggum curse outta my head. Made me wanna buck some pony.

But I wasn't 'bout to give up. An Apple never gives up and Applejack wasn't about to be the first. So I pulled and I pulled. I think I was about halfway back when my mind starts muckin' around, makin' me think I'm seein' things.

I saw a squirrel. Middle of the night and there's a squirrel in the middle of my orchard. And not just any squirrel, but a squirrel that I've seen around before. That varmint's always trying to steal my apples. So I was pullin' harder trying to get over to it, and—I'm not makin' this up—the bugger walked up and hugged me.

Now, I knew I was past stir crazy and well int' one of Pinkie's big mixers.

I hadta say somethin'. Yell a bit and get the little bugger to leave. But, it was still huggin' me, so I tried to be a little polite. I wasn't gonna kick the little feller. Yet.

"Um, excuse me, would you possibly mind, if its not too much trouble, maybe leaving the farm sometime soon?" Well, plant me face-first and call me a tree, that weren't what I wanted to say.

Ok, I jus' got a little tired and my brain and mouth weren't buckin' the same tree. If I rehearsed in my head, it would come out fine. Now, 'Scram, you little varmint, and don't come back.' I cleared my throat.

"That's enough, little squirrel. Please, I would like it very much if you would maybe consider going away from the farm."

Dagnabbit, I didn't want to say that. That didn't even sound like my voice. That sounded like— Fluttershy.

I looked over my shoulder. Even though I couldn't see my cutie mark or make out the colour of my flank, I could tell I wasn't an earth pony anymore. As if on cue, one of my wings poofed out and hit me straight in the nose.

And the squirrel was still hugging me.

"Now, you listen here, mister. It is well past your bedtime and you shouldn't be trespassing on somepony's orchard like this. If I catch you here again, I'll put you in timeout and give you a lecture you won't forget. Do you understand me?" That was much more elegant than the 'I'll kill you, you little bugger!' that I had planned. Although, my eyes felt like they were 'bout t' bugger off with the varmint for a bit there.

Pest problem taken care of. I needed to get the apples to the barn and rest, so my brain could stop milkin' the chickens.

'Course, my wing was still in th' way. I couldn't even tell which muscle to use to get it back down. Daggum pegasi and their crazy extra body parts. I had to use my hooves. Did I mention I was really glad nopony else was around? Well, I was.

I finally managed to get the apples home and sat back on a hay pile for a quick rest.

I opened my eyes a moment later and there was Big Mac opening the barn door, sun streamin' in.

"You sleep here all night, AJ?"

"Guess so," I mumbled. "I think I overworked myself. Bit off more than I could chew."

"That's for sure." He was giving me the look he used when I was a filly and would come home hurt. As a grown pony, I didn't like that look. "You sure you're ok?"

"I'm jus' fine now that it's over." I stood up nice and straight, but he didn't stop his worried look, like he normally does when I do that.

"AJ, not to burst your bubble, but where's your hat?"

---

I shoulda jus' lied. Then Big Mac would've let me go back in the orchard and find my hat. Now what was I s'posed to do. Stupid crazy dreams. I kicked my way down the path to Ponyville, tryin' to think of some loophole that would get me back on my farm.

"Hey, Applejack!" Rainbow Dash flew down and landed next to me. "Whoa, what's got you so blue?"

I rolled my eyes. "Me blue? Look at yer own feathers and tell me who's blue."

"Oh come on, AJ, you know what I mean." Rainbow Dash put a hoof on my shoulder. "Now, what's wrong? And don't say 'Nothing.'"

I sighed. Well, Rainbow Dash, I got so overworked yesterday that I hallucinated the devil puttin' a curse on me and turnin' me int' Fluttershy, and then tried to push through it and ended up passin' out in the barn. If that weren't enough, I think the devil thing stole my hat. Well, one o' those ain't too crazy. "I lost my hat."

"Oh, don't worry about that. Rarity can make you a new one."

I shot her a glare. "Rainbow, how many times have you ever seen me without my hat?" I got up real close. "An' how many times have you ever seen me wearin' Rarity's prissy clothes? I don't want one of Rarity's fru-fru hats." I got real quiet. "I just want my hat back."

Rainbow got real quiet too.

"I'm sorry, Rainbow," I said. "I jus' had a tough day yesterday. I didn't mean to drag ya int' my pile of mud."

"No problem." She perked back up right quick. "Tell you what. I'll help you look for your hat. We'll find it in no time."

"Thanks, Rainbow. I 'ppreciate you helpin'. But Big Mac won't let me go back in the orchard today." I huffed at the thought.

"Why not?"

"He said, I was overworked and needed a break."

Rainbow laughed. "Ha, and when that didn't work?"

I rolled my eyes at her, again. "Said I wasn't allowed in fer the sake of the trees. Said I break trees when I get mad."

Rainbow took a step back. "Seriously?"

"It happened like twice. Ain't my fault the trees were dyin'."

"That's kind of awesome. And terrifying." Rainbow started flappin' her wings. "Anyway, he's right you know. You do look pretty tired."

"I'll show you how tired I am," I snapped back. I lunged and got a hoofful of— thin air. Stupid pegasi and their extra flyin' body parts.

"Seriously, AJ," she taunted, "take a nap."

"Well, maybe I will." Aw shoot, if that's the best comeback I had, maybe I did need a nap. 'sides, I'd nothin' else I could do today. Might as well rest up so I could work all night.

---

It was the snake again.

"Greetings, Applejack."

I sneered at the darn thing. "Not you again. I tol' you already, I ain't signin' nothin'. I ain't makin' a deal."

"Oh, come now. I'm not here for that." He slithered close. "I'm just here to remind you that you'll never harvest the orchard without me, and to make sure your nap isn't restful."

With that, I snapped awake. 'Course, the snake's threat got me all worked up. So much for gettin' some rest. But I had bigger pigs to wrassle than jus' a wasted nap. My wings were back.

An' of course, fully extended so I couldn't put 'em where they should be. I couldn't for the life of me figure out how them pegasi work those buggers.

After a bit o' struggle, I finally put those fellers back in their place. But jus' my luck, I ran int' the one pony I didn't wanna see.

"Oh goodness, Fluttershy. I have so much to tell you. Shall we soiree at the spa?"

I got nothin' against Rarity, just me and her are— different. Ain't nothin' wrong with different, but I gotta get myself ready tolerate being around her. And it wasn't a good day fer toleratin'.

I knew I had to get outta this. If'n I remembered correctly, I figured I'd end up speakin' in Fluttershy, so I had to be real careful 'bout what I said to get it to come out right. 'No, Rarity. I really can't do it right now.' "Oh, goodness. I really shouldn't." Oh ponyfeathers, why couldn't Fluttershy have a spine?

"Nonsense. You always have time for a little pampering." Then she picked me up and carried me int' the spa. If I had any kind of buckin' muscles, I wouldn't been outta there like a greased pig. I couldn't even get my useless wings to knock her away.

"Goodness, Fluttershy, you look so blue. Whatever is going on?"

'I lost my hat.' No, that wouldn't have worked. Fluttershy didn't wear hats. I knew I was gonna regret this. "I guess I'm just tired."

"Well, it's a good thing I got here. The spa treatment will re-energise you again in no time." And with that, she tossed me in the mud.

'Gee, thanks. Gettin' all covered in mud is just what I need.' "Oh thank you, Rarity. This is just perfect."

Well, I certainly dug up a mad badger. Direct statements didn't work. Sarcasm didn't work. I shuddered to think how poor Fluttershy managed to communicate ate all.

But now, I had to listen to Rarity drone on an' on about nothin'. Goodness, that pony brought in drama like a hog does flies. At least all I had to do was nod and only listen every once in a while. I figured she'd go on about fashion for a while.

"—And I offered to make her a new hat, one that was not so dusty and old, bring her up to date with the fashion trends, but Rainbow—"

Yep, still on fashion. Rarity sure could talk a pony's ear off. If somepony tries to talk about something practical or interestin' like the apple harvest, she gets her mane all tangled in protest. Shucks, she threw me in a mud puddle. She'd bite like a chigger if I threw her in a puddle. Her face would look real funny though. Even funnier than her expectant raised eyebrow with the cucumbers looked. Wait, expectant? Aw shoot, she was waiting for me to say somethin'.

"Um. Yes."

Rarity sqealed with delight. I picked the wrong thing t' say. "Oh, you must tell me everything. Big Mac is such a handsome stallion. You must feel like the luckiest mare alive."

Great, she asked about the date with Big Mac. I wasn't having this conversation. I ain't ever talkin' about my brother like that. 'No, I ain't sayin' nothin'.' "Oh goodness, I— um... eep." Well, at least the embarrassment came out right.

"Oh come on. You don't have to be embarrassed. I promise I won't tell anypony. Please tell me. Please?"

Her pleading eyes didn't work with cucumbers on them. 'No way.' "Umm... I— Oh..." Heaven's sake, I'm glad I didn't talk all wishy-washy like that.

"Oh fine. You're no fun. But be aware, the details will come out."

'Bite me, cucumber face.' "OK." Nuts, wasted a perfectly good insult. I'd have to remember that one.

The rest of the evening went about as well as it could. Rarity blabbered on an' on and I sat in the mud. After the whole fiasco, I wasn't "re-energised." I jus' wanted to not be awake anymore. So I headed home.

Back home, I tried to keep quiet. I didn't want to explain why Fluttershy was sleepin' in my bed. Jus' my luck, Big Mac was still awake. Sounded like he was pacin' and mumblin' something to himself, workin' out some problem or somethin' like that.

"Stupid. Stupid. I shoulda just gone for it," he said, shakin' his head back and forth.

I really wished I could work those hay forsaken wings and jus' float on by. Least Fluttershy weighed less'n I did an' wouldn't make as much noise.

I crept past as Big Mac continued his mutterin'. I felt bad leavin' my brother all depressed like that, but tryin' to help would jus' make things— complicated.

"I wish I had one chance to make things right. One chance to fix things."

Poor Big Mac was so focused on whatever, he didn't even notice as I tiptoed by. For the first time that day, I had little smile on my face.

—THUD—

Those blasted, peach-pickin', mud-lickin', saddle-slickin' wings.

And of course, Big Mac turned to look at the noise. "Fluttershy?" He quickly came over.

"I— um." I jus' knew this weren't goin' well.

"No, don't say nothin'. I wished for this chance and I'm not going to let it slip though my hooves." He hugged me and held me close, breath hot on my face.

Consarnit, I really was cursed.

"I should have—"

Ok, weak legs, move.

"—done this sooner."

Dagnabbit. Alright, wings, I said some nasty stuff about you, but please work.

He closed his eyes and leaned in—

"No! Stop! I'm your sister!"

"What the hay, Fluttershy." Well, at least, he stopped. I started breathin' again. I wished a bit o' that Fluttershy gentleness that was so annoyin' earlier had cropped up, but at least he stopped.

"Don't make up somethin' like that! If you don't like me, just say so." Big Mac stomped off and slammed the door shut.

Great, I broke my big brother. 'Course, I wanted to try and help, explain everythin' and make him feel better, but knowin' my luck, that woulda just made things— complicated. Well, more complicated.

Stupid wings.

---

In the mornin', I was me again. Wings gone. Big Mac gone, left early. He never wants to talk when things happen. Not like I woulda been happy 'bout talkin' either. But I thought I should try t' make the effort. Since, it were kinda my fault.

Not like I didn't have enough problems already. An entire orchard left to buck. Still tuckered as Ol' Bessie in springtime. And the curse thing. That daggum curse thing.

Still, ain't no Apple ever given up, and I'd eat my hoof afore I was the first. B'sides, nothin' could make a pony forget their trouble like a good day of applebuckin'.

I'd bucked a few trees and started gettin' my buckin' rhythm back, when in flew an interruption.

"Hey, Applejack!" Rainbow Dash landed right down next to me and started whisperin'. "I need your help with something."

"Rainbow, I jus' started buckin'. Can't it wait?"

She shook her head. "I think somepony has been impersonating Fluttershy."

I really hoped the sun had jus' gotten brighter on my face and that it weren't as obvious as it felt. "Impersonate Fluttershy? Why the devil would anypony wanna do that?"

"I dunno. But listen, there was a squirrel that was acting like she'd yelled at it, when she hadn't, and, get this, Rarity spent all night at the spa with her, and she didn't remember at all this morning."

Great, both my fault. As Granny Smith always said, "Y'all made the mess, y'all better clean it up." Couldn't a pony applebuck in peace for one day?

"Alright, Rainbow, whatdya need me t' do?"

"I want you to stake out Fluttershy's place. If she leaves, follow her. I'll search for clues and meet up with you at lunch."

"Got it."

Keepin' watch wasn't too bad. All I had to do was stare at the house. Course, all I had to do was stare at the house, so I was gettin' a little bored, but bored was better than the last couple days. B'sides, the weather was sunny and relaxin'. I was ok with bored.

"Happy to sssee me, Applejack."

Aw shucks, so much for nice an' bored. "Go 'way, devil. You've been nothin' but trouble."

"I'm sssorry," he hissed. "Wouldn't it be nissse if it all disssappeared?"

"No more curse? And no more hissing?"

He slithered up next to me. "No more curssse. All you have to do isss sssign thisss." In popped a parchment and ink. I swear, I'd never get used to that appears-in-a-cloud-of-smoke magicky thing. Gave me ponybumps.

I knew what Granny said. I knew makin' the deal were a bad idea. But, consarnit, I was tired. It weren't natural to be carryin' a curse like this. I dipped my hoof in the ink. It didn't burn quite like I expected.

"Hey AJ, wake up!"

"Huh?" Rainbow tousled my mane again.

"Falling asleep on the job?" she teased. "Quality help is so hard to find."

"A mite sorry, Rainbow. Won't let it happen again." I straightened up and got my eyes back on the house.

"No time for that. We're losing daylight." She was right. The sun peeked jus' above the horizon.

Rainbow winked and flew off. "Follow me," she yelled back.

"Where we goin'?"

"I found a lead. At Sweet Apple Acres."

Ponyfeathers, I was doomed. Maybe I could distract her or keep her from followin' it or somethin'. "Uh, what kind of lead, Rainbow?"

She didn't respond. She must have gotten ahead. I galloped a mite quicker. Lettin' Rainbow have a lot of time with that lead couldn't go well.

"Rainbow, where'd ya get to?" I said, roundin' the corner.

"SURPRISE!" My friends leaped out of the bushes and confetti rained down. Behind 'em, Sweet Apple Acres was picked clean.

"B-But I didn't sign anythin'."

"Rainbow Dash told us how you lost your hat and that made you all blue, so we threw you a party to make you orange again!"

"Ahem," Rarity coughed. "What Pinkie means, is when we heard you lost your hat, we wanted to do something to cheer you up."

Twilight continued. "And we know how hard you work during harvest time, so we all got together and harvested Sweet Apple Acres for you."

Rainbow beamed. "Spying on Fluttershy was all part of my brilliant plan to get you away." She pantomimed cheerin'. "Saved by Rainbow Dash yet again."

"Well, shucks, girls, this is the best surprise I've ever gotten. Thank ya'll so much. I'm plum speechless." They enveloped me in a big hug and even the curse couldn't stop me from smilin'.

"Ooh, ooh, can I give her the biggest special surprise?" Pinkie asked.

"Let's do it together." They all huddled around the confetti cannon and did their countdown.

"Surprise!"

"Again!" piped in Pinkie.

"My hat!" I immediately put it on and everythin' felt right again. "I've been lookin' all over fer this. Where in tarnation did it get to?"

"You're not going to believe this," Twilight began, grinnin' with pride. "We found it tangled in a patch of poison joke in the northwest orchard. Don't worry, we cleaned it, so it won't infect you."

"Poison joke?" I mumbled, turnin' it over and over in my head. "Could that cause one pony to turn int' another pony?"

"Maybe, would it be funny?"

No, I thought very adamantly. "Well, maybe. I gotta confess somethin' an' I know this is gonna sound crazy, but its the truth."

They all leaned in close. "What is it?"

"These last few nights—" I could feel my face flushin'. "—I've been turning into Fluttershy at night."

"I knew there was an impostor!" Rainbow yelled. "It was you the whole time!"

"Not right now, Rainbow," shushed Rarity.

"Do y'all think that could have been caused by the poison joke."

"Well, there's only one way to find out."

We lay back on the grass and watched as the sun fell away int' the trees. Poison joke or no poison joke, watchin' a sunset with friends was one doozy of a way to spend an evenin'.

---

Thirty minutes later

"Uh, AJ? Is something supposed to happen?"

Poison joke makin' a liar outta me. "Consarnit, this ain't funny."

—POOF—

"Oh, my." There we were, two Fluttershy's standin' right next to each other. Perfect twins. 'Cept I had my hat, so I was better.

"Come on, Applejack, Fluttershy, whoever you are, let's get you that bath."

---

"Is Applejack back yet?" Pinkie asked. "Two Fluttershys is too many Fluttershys."

"And not enough Applejacks," quipped Fluttershy.

I looked over my body. Familiar buckin' legs. No useless wings. Apples for a cutie mark. "Girls, I'm back."

"Oh, good, I was worried I would be late for my date with Big Mac."

"You absolutely must tell me how that goes darling."

"Have fun." We all waved goodbye as Fluttershy made her way back to Ponyville.

"About that," I whispered, "would one of y'all mind comin' with me. I need to talk to Big Mac about this and it might be good to have, ya know, witnesses."

"Certainly, but what happened?" My four remaining friends gathered close around me.

"You have to promise not to tell anypony, especially Fluttershy..."

---