• Published 28th Oct 2012
  • 11,140 Views, 1,001 Comments

Bathtime for Ponies - Derpsanddinks404

A second-person fic where you give fillies and colts a bath

  • ...

Pinkie Pie

With the bathtub finally full of warm water, you decide it's time to call her in.

"Pinkie!" you call from the bathroom.

An impossibly few seconds later a pink party filly appears at the door. Pinkie smiles cutely at you, then notices the tub of water. When she finally processes in her little mind what she was there for, she jumps up with her mouth open and dashes out the door, leaving a temporary silhouette of dust where she stood.

You sigh deeply, going over in your head the millions of places she could be hiding. As you exit the bathroom and walk into the kitchen, you see on the counter a huge cake, bigger than a filly, with the lettering "NO BATHS!" written on top. You mumble under your breath that now it'll take longer to wash the cake out of her mane.

"C'mon Pinkie, you need a bath, now more than ever!" you say as you reach into the cake and pull out a pink, fluffy tail attached to a frosting-covered Pinkie Pie. She smiles at you guiltily, hoping you'll be merciful on her. You smile back, unable to stay mad at such a cute little pink and white mess.

You carry her by her tail into the bathroom and place her in the tub. At least, you thought you placed her in their, but when you blink she's suddenly right next to you! You brush off the weird incident, blaming your recent lack of sleep, and pick her up and put her in again. You blink twice and shake your head, absolutely certain you put her in, but she's yet again right next to you, this time smiling like that Internet meme you saw earlier called a "troll"!

This time you're angry, face turning light red as you give her a stare. She wipes the smile off her face and jumps into the tub herself, splashing a little water onto you. You resist the urge to yell once you see her guilty-looking face, which was almost sad. You cheer up and get the brush next to you.

You squirt some shampoo on the dirty filly and start to lather it throughout her mane. She giggles at the tickling sensation and splashes the water with her front hooves. The smell of the cotton candy shampoo mixes with the smell of frosting, filling the air with a sweet aroma. You close your eyes to sniff and fully enjoy the scent, and then open your eyes to find your hands lathering air!

A bit of panic fills your gut as you look around the room to find Pinkie. You eventually see her swinging from the shower curtain's bar, and the panic grows bigger! You jump up and grab the filly, scolding her for doing something so unsafe. You place her back in the bath and scoop up some water in cupped hands to rinse the shampoo.

When you spill the water over the party filly's hair, it unpoofs and turns straight, startling the little pony. You continue to pour water over her head, careful to get every single bit of frosting and suds out. After about ten rinses, her mane finally looks decent. When she looks at the straight locks covering one of her eyes, she closes her eyes and puffs up her cheeks. This confuses you, and when you start to ask what she's doing, you hear a *POOF* and her hair becomes puffy again!

"What?!" you exclaim in disbelief, putting both palms up halfway in the air in a gesture of wonder. "What was that? Idon'tevenknow," you finally mutter as you get back to work on the giggling pony.

Next, you work on her tail. You reach into the water and pick up the fillies little butt, telling her to keep it there for a second. She nods and gathers her breath, sticking her head underwater. You shake your head and laugh a bit at the foolish little Pinkie. You grab the shampoo and again begin to lather her hair, making note not to close your eyes this time. This task takes about two minutes, and Pinkie has yet to surface for air. You start to worry if she is okay, and then remember she's freaking Pinkie Pie, the very pony who, even at fillyhood, defies the laws of physics and relativity.

You repeat the previous steps of cupping your hands and pouring the water over her tail, making it go straight like her mane. Another ten times later, you tell her she can put down her tail now. Her head surfaces from the water without gasping for air, her mane somehow unaffected by the water. She repeats her earlier practice of closing her eyes and puffing her cheeks, and again her tail becomes fluffy. This time you see it coming and laugh at the absurdness.

You give Pinkie some bath toys and let her soak a bit, with your supervision of course. She happily takes the boats and submarine and does a bit of childish role-play. This goes on for about two minutes before she picks up the submarine and slams it into the water, diving fully in the water with it.

You peek over the tub to make sure she's still there, only to find her gone yet again! You search the water frantically, hoping she only moved a bit out of sight. When you don't find her, you full-on panic and jump up to search for her. You turn towards the door, only to see Pinkie Pie with a towel in her mouth! You sigh deeply, relieved she was okay.

You decide that she's done (not that you really had a choice anyways), taking the towel from her and wrapping it around her neck. You begin to shake the towel over her mane, poofing it more (which was somehow possible) and making her giggle once again. You then lower the towel a bit to get the top of her body, then her abdomen, then her tail, and finally her legs. After you finish drying her, she shakes like a dog to make sure she was fully dry. Once she was satisfied, she skipped happily outside to resume whatever she was doing beforehand.

While draining the tub, you laugh to yourself at the little episode of silliness you just experienced. Leave it to Pinkie Pie to defy science while taking a bath! When the tub is finally empty, you leave the bathroom to check on the filly. When you leave, your eyes widen at what you see.

"Pinkie, no dog-riding in the house!"

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