Side-Story
Spike's side of the story can be found here: A Dragon Whispers Her Name
It has been rated Mature due to violence. However, it is my belief that the level of violence is comparable to this story's. It is present tense, written in the POV of Spike, so the style may be slightly wonky.
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You should realllly consider doing like an epilogue chapter or even a mini series sequal for schemering sintel...I like how you ended it and what a horrible impact it had, but I would absolutely love to see more of Twintel in this new yet familiar ponyville, and also her friends dealing with it. It feels like a goldmine of delicious content just waiting to be mined.
I remember when you said this probably wasn't going to get a dramatic reading made of it because you're not well known enough.
Well, I'm making this one. (assuming that's okay because I've already finished parts of it)
You deserve more recognition, and I will do my very best to give you that. (No one watches my stuff so the entire venture is in fact, pointless)
2913187
Sure, go ahead. You have my permission.
At the very least, this will be good practice.
Good luck!
2990615
Thanks!
I've linked it in the description.
Joehighlord introduced me to your story and I must say it's really amazing. I loved it.
Much better then my silly little stories.
2995932
Thank you!
2997721 Your very welcome, and thank you for this amazing story.
Show a darker side to the world with out being grimdark, which is pretty rare. Also focuses on other locations in the world outside Equestria itself, which is pretty nice.
i remember this one. i ALMOST cried. i came to within an inch. you, my friend, brought me closer to tears than any other author to date.
which isnt really a big statement as i tend to avoid sad, tragic, dark, and grimdark fics in general, almost as a rule. but still, ive read a lot over the years, and you cant avoid sad, touchy-feelzie moments. some were really well done. but this whole story was sad and touchy feelzy. very nice. may or may not read side story.
3492452
I apologize. I don't have much time nowadays.
To be fair, she's pretty dead inside. That's probably not going to happen.
3495980 NOOOOOOOOO one thing I hate about stories is when I don't know what happens in the after math! Aghh I can't stand it! Make another chapter/story about what happens after she gets home and how the mane six deal with it!
3655657
Thanks!
To be honest, feel what you want to feel.
The story is just that -- a story. If you feel sad, very well. If you feel happy, alright.
My goals for this story are my own ;).
I've reread this for a second time and can honestly say that the ending was...dry, bland and crumbly like plaster board. What i'm trying to say is that it felt empty, like there was nothing left.
And honestly it fits perfectly, there was no hope spot, no redemption just a sense of finality. The ending makes the story because it just nails home how final Twilight's death was, the only thing left is Twintel and she's an empty husk of a pony. Absolute utter brilliance, this goes down as one of the best stories I've ever read.
This fic was thoroughly downputting indeed.
I.. I've not got much more than that.
I'll be off reading something happier, or something, because, wow, this one played on negative emotions, and did so flawlessly.
Amazing story, great writing - thumb'ed and fav'ed!
3495980 You! Hey you! Badass writer! Could you do a Rarity the Sneak-Thief story?
3847691
I should come by and say that though I have some thoughts about the story that aren't all good, this was still one of the hardest emotional rides I have been on with any story. It was wonderfully written, and I wanted to make sure that you knew that while I may have had harsh criticisms, you as a writer are great.
Hi! I'm ToixStory, the founder of the Golden Oaks Book Club, and I just wanted to let you know that our members all voted and decided that we wanted to read and discuss your story for our first book club discussion! Just thought you might want to know, and I am thoroughly looking forward to reading your story.
5023616
That might not have been explicit, but it was mentioned. She got them for use of magical defense, since the wild, wild west (as I like to call it) is very dangerous.
5024456
Oh, I got that much. All I know, though, is that she got them from "somebody she trusted," and while what they did was explained, the specifics of how they work was not. Why mythril, specifically? Is it an excellent conductor of ley? Does it function like a step-up transformer or something?
5024536
Basically, yes. It increases the strength of and her control over her magical power.
Oh my god... just... oh my god.
This almost made me cry.
You have such a gift with description, and you use it to great effect. Sometimes I even forgot that there wasn't any dialogue with how vivid your descriptions were. As for the story, it truly is a powerful piece of literature. It moved me immensely.
You fucking earned this upvote.
Just needed to say thank you I really enjoyed reading this.
This... this whole thing was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. I haven't cried that hard in forever and a half. Kudos.
By any chance, will there ever be anything past this and the side-story? It would be fun to see something from the POV of the others she left behind , during her travels and once she returns.
Jesus. I've read this story over three months ago, and just seeing a mention of it still sends shivers down my spine and tears to my eyes.
You can has review.
6092244
Thanks.
If I was to say Blender that wouldn't mean anything would it?
i like the story. it did not end happy but it did not end sad and it was very well written. ^_^
i would love to get a chance to read more of the after math of this story but i wont hold you to it. ^_^ good job all around. :)
Wow. That was depressing. Bravo on hitting the emptiness feel. I need to go stew in my thoughts for a bit.
ahhh... sintel, one of the few stories to bring tears to my eyes. I can't believe how long I've been hunting for this story (I forgot to fav it after I read it) and upon finding it again all I can say is wow... There are few words that can describe this piece. It brings up topics that few authors on this site would touch while writing an adventure fic. In the end, I'm almost happy that I didn't turn this story down. This was a journey into the dark for the sake of love. I will never be able to put to words my emotions while I was reading, both because of the amount of time inbewtixt my comment here and actually reading it and the feelings I do remember being so profound that describing them wouldn't do them, nor this story, justice.
I recently came across this gem from the Royal Canterlot Library. It was a little jarring to switch between present and her memories, but i'm not gonna beat on a dead horse. I love reading these old stories, it just feels like authors felt more innovative, having less cannon and more fandom to work with. This deserves to be mentioned in the same breath as It a dangerous business, going out your door.
The only thing that disappoints me is the story you reference, Where the World Ends by hlissner, has seemingly been removed from the internet by the author. Its a shame, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. But i want to thank you for keeping up your works.
This is going into my favorites and i've DL'ed a copy to re-read in the future.
7172757
In the story I never specified what happened to the slaves. I like to imagine Twilight took them to the city outskirts and dissolved the chains, then left them.
Given what she knows about the possible punishment for slaving in Dromedor (i.e. death) and that she would already have been paid good money for the bounty, it would be unlikely that she were to take the slaves into the city to be resold (which would require time and contacts, as well as put her on a blacklist if she becomes known for this).
Very well written! Good job!
*dark*sad*tragedy*
I was warned.
I should have expected this.
I did not expect this.
Reading about those 20 years of Twilight's life in these sort of loosely stitched together patches of memories was a bit unreal, almost dream like.
Yeah that describes it pretty well. This story was like an unsettling nightmare that leaves your heart thumping in your chest when it shocks you awake. Except Twilight couldn't wake up from it..
pre11.deviantart.net/2211/th/pre/f/2016/357/d/f/i_m_wretched_but_i_m_powerful_by_ncmares-dasn85g.png
I never knew this was based off an animated short. I just stumbled upon it a moment ago and was like, "I recognize this story!" After watching, I like the differences and adaptations you made to make it your own, based off what I remember of this fic. I'll have to read this again sometime soon.
8077671
Do you still remember what the name of the short is called? I'd like to see it too if possible.
8322656
It's called 'Sintel.' He has it in the dropdown story description. You can find it on YouTube.
8323562
Oh wow! I've read that about 5 times and somehow still didn't notice! X"D
Thank you though!
This was really good. I kinda wish there was a sequel so we could see battle hardened, shell shocked Twilight try to reintegrate into peaceful Equestria and reconnect with her friends.
H Hmm, not bad. Kinda confusing at points between them and now, and I really wonder about the 20 years she went though.
But overall it was a good read.
Looks like I didn't comment back when I reviewed this last March. As I said there, this is pretty grim but very much worth the read.