When three humans get sucked up by a strange portal they find themselves dropped in the land of Equestria. As time goes on they learn that the portal opening was an accident, and will not happen again for many lifetimes. They start their new lives in this magical land and with the help of the Elements of Harmony, learn new thing about each other and how powerful friendship and bonds really are. They will need it before their adventure is over.
A message to all future reader of this story. Please do not worry about the deleted comments you'll find in the comment section. they were all either corrections needed to be made that people pointed out and i have already fixed. Or personal conversations that started on the comment section then later moved to private messaging.
Any quotes, phrases, or characters used in this story that are copyrighted are owned by their respective makers and I take no ownership of. The only stuff I take ownership of are the characters i created in this story.
Rated teen for huge amounts of cussing, (later in the story), gory fight scenes and possible sexual situations.
constructive criticism is appreciated
You know what? I've seen way worse, especially for a first fic. For what I can see, this has good potential, so long as you keep an active imagination and stick by the story. Grammar could use work, same with spacing, as mentioned in above comments, but overall you might actually have something here.
I'll be tracking it. You've got my support!
Hmmm definitely better than last chapter. Spaced out text more and I didn't see any grammatical errors. Overall not bad at all. Look forward to future updates!
Getting better.
I wonder what Twi is going to say when she hears there is a third human! One who is crazy enough to take on the Everfree forest single handed. (-which might lead to a quick expedition just in time to save his bacon... ;) )
well for now the third one is gone but he will be back, in the mean time though twilight is going to be nerdier than ever wanting to learn all about the humans as expected since she likes to learn. i was thinking about spikes role for the story and weather to make the humans kinda like brothers for him or something i don't know yet though ill have to ponder on that.
Yeah an editor and/or pre-readers would definitely be good for this story.
a little fast pased but i guess its alright
1595248 yea a couple of people said that but i thought it was pretty in depth on the second and third chapter
MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FIRST XD
2nd and this is an amazing story good job
RUUUUUUN AWAY
love this!!!!!!!!!!!!
Another great chapter, can't wait to read more.
sorry if this chapter was a bit boring, it was meant to be a quick ender so that it would be easier to continue to the next part of the story. next chapter will be awesome, see you ponies in chapter 11.
Yesssss, I've been waiting for this I wondered what happened to russel
4183788 thanks, i was hoping to bring him back in but different, how it all happened will be explained. the next few chapters will involve quite a bit of flash backs on his time moving around Equis.
I would like it to happen.
Totally go for it I thank it would be fun to see how it would change the store
I loving the store so far I hope u keep with it im looking forward to see where u take it
have 5 hearts on me
5539968 thanks, I like adding new challenges to my work so that I can improve my writing skills. however I did state that it would be a completely separate chapter that would in no way affect the story, its just something I want to write for fun. I already have something else going on in the works that im going to write for the character.
I dont trust all of those deleted comments, you must admit its a bit suspicious when the only comments that seem to not be deleted are praising the story. Especially when that story has so many downvotes.
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5583473 it still has more up votes than it does down votes. the down vote are because this is the first story that I post so I was learning how to be a good writer as I was writing it. over time I got better and made many improvements on my skill. the deleted comments that are bunched together is a conversation that I had with one of my followers. the rest of those are errors that I had made in my story that others pointed out and I had fixed. no point in keeping comments pointing out errors that have been dealt with and are no longer there.
5584804 Alright, I'll read the most recent chapter to see how good your writing is, then I'll read the first to see if theres any major improvement. I dont care if I have absolutely no clue whats going on because I'm skipping, I just want to see if thats true and your not just deleting negative comments. Because I hate authors who do that.
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5585317 like I said, I have fixed the errors I made in my story after each one was pointed out. once the errors were fixed, I deleted the comments. none of the comments were hate mail or anything like that, just constructive criticism and help from fellow writers.
5586389 Alright, everything checks out. Another successful case solved by the fic police. 2.bp.blogspot.com/-8x4m-jNSfdw/Ubzpv_9VzGI/AAAAAAAAwX0/Ot5z_nBqMXA/s1600/111-internet+police+4.jpg
ok this is weird, im seeing my authors note pop up at the top twice when there shouldn't be. if anyone else is seeing this, please tell me, I don't know how to get rid of it. I only meant for one to be up there not a copy too.