• Member Since 2nd May, 2012
  • offline last seen August 23rd

CyborgSamurai


I have no idea what I'm doing.

E
Source

Ponies are unique amongst the sentient races in that their souls are equally comprised of light and dark. All the other races have a gravitation towards one or the other, but only the three pony races hold the two in complete balance. It was for this reason that Celestia and Luna came to be in the first place, as the Fates decreed that keeping an entire race on such a narrow path was too great a task for one entity.

Ever since her return from her banishment, Princess Luna has felt something wrong with her subjects. The ponies of Equestria are lively and joyous, their eyes bright and happy as they bask in the light, but one thousand years of light has disturbed the balance of their souls. Now, Luna must take drastic measures to restore it before it destroys her beloved subjects.

Inspired by the poem 'Come Little Children' by Edgar Allen Poe and the video 'Children of the Night' by Spiritto and Lionheart.

Cover by kittenlover101.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 40 )

Happy Nightmare Night!

You know, I don't even think of it as Halloween anymore. Seriously, everything just fits. Someone redid 'This is Halloween' to be 'This is Nightmare Night' and it was freaking perfect. I'm tempted to walk around on Wednesday wishing people a 'Happy Nightmare Night' just to root out bronies. I already do something similar when meeting new people, dropping a subtle line somewhere on how I think 'x' is 20% cooler than everything else. I've gotten two people with that, and it was hilarious both times.

OMG can you link to the nightmare night song please? and I also like this story!

1524094 I played the song while reading this. :rainbowwild: Wonderful job, bro. Creepy AND beautiful. You pulled this off well. :twilightsmile:

YES, I was hoping this was what this was as soon as I saw it. :pinkiehappy:

Edit after reading

Hmmm Maybe I spoke too soon.... Still a lovely fic I would love to see this fleshed out in a full story. Hmm.... To be continued.... I might just ask you if I can write a sequel if I can get a plot nailed down. I'll be thinking about this.

Beautiful. Away from the gloom and darkness of TPOH, this is a standalone fic that easily blows many other oneshots of this nature out of the frying pan and into the fire.

Also, a good song to listen to while reading this is here

:yay:

Ah, Hocus Pocus...even now, nine years later, I'm still chilled by Sarah Jessica Parker's singing "Come Little Children".

1524094 Dam wish i could do that, i am from Quebec and everyone where i am from are french, so i dont think they watch the show much. Same its Nightmare night not halloween.Very nice storie well writen i think, i aint no author but i can tell you got good writing skills you keept me log on to this tale.All in all great job.:rainbowdetermined2:

and only a trip to the Shadow Realm can cure what ails our subjects.

Danmit yugioh!
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbei1yKowz1rdmpspo1_1280.jpg

Took me a bit longer than usual to buy into the narrative, but once the song started I was in. Cool take on the Children of the Night video! :yay:

It's really hard to buy the beginning, though. The way Luna "notices" light poisoning feels rushed. The phrase "show, don't tell", comes to mind. Your two sentence origin story on the Princesses just made it feel like cheating, and the idea that ponies are the only race in "true balance" just feel insulting, for some reason (I've been reading a lot of HiE lately). Also, the only thing it adds to the story is a little extra justification for your two sentence origin story :rainbowwild:.
You don't need to say that ponies are the only perfectly balanced species to argue that Luna's absence threw ponies out of balance.

Loved the re-balancing and the more action oriented scenes. Once "Children of the Night" comes out you might wanna see if you want to throw out references to the named characters in it. The ending was very cute and even somewhat moving. Bravo.

Thumb for cool take on an awesome fan vid, no fav unless it can stand on its own though, and I think that showing how ponies got out of balance would do nicely. In terms of showing the effects of light poisoning, perhaps a darker look at some of the "crazies" of Equestria should be taken. Mental illness can be an imbalance, after all.

Now for a real comment.
This was a great story. I know most people accept that Luna and Celestia are goddesses, and thus make them powerful, but I haven't seen a story that has them actually keep tabs on their little ponies' souls. THAT was great. And the lullaby at the end of story was.... it was..... so.... iajcfuinvginziufhw8ehf.
Sorry, my brain exploded a little there.
Who says that Nightmare Night is all about horror stories? This is so worth it!

Good story! Not your fault I was getting flashbacks to the original scene from Hocus Pocus while watching the animatic... Only good thing about it happening this way was that it gave me a firm basis from which to compare the motivations of the two singers. Final vote:

Sarah Jessica Parker's witch-character: :flutterrage::twilightangry2:

Luna: :yay::twilightsmile:

Nice one! Doesn't work this way in the real world IMO, but that's just me nitpicking. Nice job showing off Luna's benevolence! :pinkiesmile:

There is one thing that all children are good at finding.
A small, quiet, warm, dark place.
Whenever they need it they will go there and take a long quiet nap.
I think Luna understands why. :heart:

Just realized that I forgot to like and favourite :facehoof:
Fixed.
Also, at the part about the "enshrouding" shadows or however it was worded, I was immediately reminded of my characters in Oblivion/Skyrim/Fallout3/New Vegas. Stealth characters love being encompassed by darkness.
inb4 Bane references.

I like the way you portray Luna in this, and the idea of ponies' souls being in balance with dark and light works well. Good job!

I like the way you portray Luna in this, and the idea of ponies' souls being in balance with dark and light works well. Good job!

A thousand times yes yes yes YES!!!!1:pinkiehappy:

Loved it. You should write more like it!

1524969 OH GOD NO. MARIK IS NOT ANYTHING LIKE LUNA :pinkiegasp:

1524094 HA! I do that too. You might not believe this, but I actually rooted out a really good friend as one in this way. I had known him for about 2 years; we met one fateful day playing Search and Destroy in MW2. We started playing CoD together, a LOT, and then minecraft and a bunch of other games. One day, after I had been a brony for about a month and told NOBODY, we were playing MW3 together and he was angry that I stole his final kill. I said "it just proves I'm 20% cooler than you". This was the following chat in steam:

Neela: ...what?
Ganelon: ?
Neela: omg
Ganelon: wut??
[long pause]
Neela: you just said 20% cooler
Ganelon: wait do you KNOW what tahts from?!
Neela: YES.
Ganelon: NO FUCKING WAY. YOU?!?
Ganelon: are you srsly
Ganelon: my mind is BROKEN.
Neela: HAHAHAHA
Ganelon: you BROKE it just now.
Neela: yes me
Neela: why is that hard to beleive
Ganelon: how fucking long have you been a brony?!
Neela: like a year?
Ganelon: ARE YOU SHITTING ME
Ganelon: before we even started the minecraft server?!!!
Neela: yes. /)
Ganelon: i think i need to lay down.

so yeah :D pretty funny I think. I just had to save the chat :rainbowkiss:

1552114
I know! Stupid Yugioh, why did it have to take such a good name?

Dun dun dunnnnnnn!

A grand tale
Light IS only half of any being, Darkness is needed to be in balance.
This is my belief.:rainbowdetermined2:

This is... well, to be blunt, this made me double take mentally at all the opinions I've formed after watching the animatic and reading notes, and now I like this one much better.

Now the song and the music video don't make me sad and think of Luna as some kind of monster fillynapping foals for her own ends. Well done author, you have turned my perceptions on their heads. For this, I give you an honorary de-motivational poster.

4.bp.blogspot.com/-SSk8SrZ-S9c/TeNtjqj2UvI/AAAAAAAAAGE/zQQxhVaZWR0/s1600/perception-glass-half-empty-full-water-demotivational-poster-12350275879.bmp

1524094 Have not read this yet though it is on my read later list. Just wanted to say one thing though:
The poem Come Little Children is most likely NOT by Poe, though he is often attributed as the author. after looking through like 50 different "Complete" Edgar Allen Poe collection/omnibus/etc I have not seen that poem in even ONE that is a published work. The running theory is that someone online attributed the poem to Poe because of it's dark undertones, but the language does not fit his style or use of metaphor, nor any of his known metres.

this one guy, kaega2, said it best while quoting a few other people on a Xanga site:
(Note: the words in quotes are the people he is quoting, the rest is his responses to them.)

"it is a matter of authentication. They know he originally wrote the poem, they can't find a copy they are sure is ONLY his"
Authentication is a matter of finding evidence that the poem was originally his. In the real world if you "know" he wrote it, it means it HAS been authenticated. There is no evidence he wrote this poem.

"I always believed this was his work for it is very dark just like his others"
Being dark wasn't the only characteristic of Poe's works. He had a very distinct style of writing. I started researching this two weeks ago when someone told me this poem was written by Poe, red flags instantly went up for me. It sounds nothing like anything else he has wrote.

Foolish Luna... you just activated my TRAP CARD. :trollestia:

This story is just perfect! I love how you portray Luna, I realy like the idea of the balance of souls and the end is so sweet ^^

I liked the original story quite well but seeing the changes I think made it even better so thank you for sharing this story.

Looking over the rewrite I definitely think it's improved. However, I have one big gripe with the story still: there's no clear stakes. I'm never given a clear idea of what exactly too much "light" will result in. I'm simply told the imbalance of "light" and "dark" in everypony's souls is bad and that's it. It would've been nice to have been given a clearer idea of why correcting the imbalance was so important.

That said, it's still a nice read and certainly improved from last time.

3382695
I'm getting the impression that light poisoning results in symptoms akin to mild epilepsy.

also, apparently it will eventually result in destruction of the soul, but the effects of that are not well documented.


dear author: I love your work. Please don't stop.

3382695 Too much light will result in them going insane after they're trapped in the Time War and then the ponies try to end time itself and ascend to ultmate godhood!

...

Oh wait... wrong show!

I'm clearly thinking of "Quantum Leap"!

(Alondro is extra delusional today!) :derpytongue2:

Are you by chance masquerading as the infamous Raistlin Marejere?

Why did no one comment on this?

You put that jerk in My Little Pony!
static3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130510163658/dragonlance/images/6/67/Raistlin3.jpg

3382695 i assumed that its way all the ponies are so gitty and forgetful they wave all over the broad with that ... Cyborg mind if i use light poisoning as a piece of head cannon

Much of this is actually scientifically and physically correct for humans. While I'm not sure if an absolute balance of half and half is necessary, people do need a certain amount of darkness to stay relaxed and keep from going insane. It's an important part of our metabolism, one that is often overlooked by the light-loving people of today.

On the other hoof, people can also become severely depressed without enough sunlight. And yes, I'm pretty sure it has to be sunlight (due to my own experiences of moving from the sunny West coast of California to the always-cloudy skies of the Midwest. The indoor lights don't work the same way sunshine does in terms of keeping one happy). Humans generally gravitate towards light, being diurnal, but a certain amount of darkness is vital to our sanity. Light poisoning is very much real, and I fear that it's going to start affecting most of the population in extremity if something isn't done about light pollution. While the lack of sunlight in some places is extreme, there's no real darkness to be found either. Everything seems to be shrouded in the yellow-orange glare of streetlights.

I'd also like to add that I think it's awesome that someone else recognizes the importance of darkness, as well as the fact that it ISN'T INHERENTLY EVIL!!! This is something I've bern trying to convince people of for the past six months at least, but there are just too many cliches and analogies made so often that it's been extremely difficult to correct every single one that I come across, especially with the tiny amount of time I have in the moment to do it. Stories like this are incredibly useful for spreading the idea, so thanks! It's also a good way to alert others of one's own awareness of the issue.

I also think that this is really well written, and an amazing story on its own. The messages it carries are potent, powerful and important, but it's a great story even without. Thanks for gracing the community with this work.

5645445

I'm actually exploring the pure concept of darkness in the two fics I have on this site. I agree that the allegory of darkness and of the night being inherently evil is an overly simplified cliche that needs to change.

Yes, the darkness can be used to corrupt, but so can the light. One of the best examples of a form of light poisoning on the body is that too much direct exposure to ultraviolet radiation can cause cancer. And then of course, there's the damage that's done to our mental states.

I sometimes go for a walk when the sun goes down, taking an atavistic pleasure in the calm, serene quiet.

Humans developed a fear of the night because that's when the predators were out. And while evil does hide in the night more often or not, it can just as easily hide during the day as well.

6370033 Yes, thank you! It's good to meet someone who shares this understanding. I myself am working on a fic relating to and exploring darkness, though I doubt it will be published anytime soon as progress is slow and I try to only upload completed works. I'll have to check out your stories, though!

1694149

I too am writing a fic based on the same video. I wasn't sure if there was one at the time, and it wasn't until very recently that I found this fic. The main difference between the two is that in mine, Luna did actually form a kingdom for orphans. Then the whole Nightmare Moon bit happened, and-- well, you'll just have to read the fic to find out the full details.

I can say this much; I did explore a similar concept to darkness and shadow in this fic than what is normal for this site. I've always considered darkness to simply be, rather than being evil.

Sorry for the shameless promo, but I thought others might be interested in my own interpretation of that video. And Luna singing in it really does prove that she's Best Pony.

Course, I have a lot of ponies I consider Best Pony.

1524894

The people who made that storyboard animation finished the full thing a while ago.

1524094 Found this little gem of a story when I noticed your other tale "Can't Choose Your Family" got featured as a Royal Canterlot Library pick.

I just have one complaint... and it is one no one else has mentioned before. You state in the title card that this story was inspired by Edgar Allen Poe's poem "Come Little Children". That is, sadly, not true. Poe never wrote such a poem... the history of this is long and complicated, but this site right here does a great job explaining the true history of the poem. Hopefully you will read the link mentioned above to get the full story, and then will correct the title card to reflect the correction.

Other than that cravat, great story! Oh! And great use of a Dragon Lance reference!

An utterly beautiful work.

Aw...here I was, thinking that the short description for this story was referring to skin cancer!

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!