• Member Since 20th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 1st, 2017


I like to quote Jaden Smith in my works.


There are guns, and ammo. No wings above the treeline. No teleportation. Other than that, it's no rules, no limits. Last pony standing gets to enter the throne room. Last pony standing gets the prize.

These are the rules that every subject in Equestria learns as Princess Celestia decides to host an all-out, all-Equestrian paintball brawl in the Everfree Forest. Everypony makes their own plans and soon enough, factions create in the race for the promise of “whatever their heart desires”.

For some, it’s just a game of friendly competition. For others, the stakes are much higher, and in the Everfree Forest where everything and anything goes, it isn’t long before a series of strange events makes our six heroes wonder if they’re playing paintball... or if there’s something much bigger at play here.

Friendship. Power. Trust. Glory. All these elements and much more clash together in Ponyville Paintball, starring Jodie Foster as Applejack.


In this fic you will find that a few things don't exactly make sense when compared to the canon universe of mlp. This is because this story was stared way back in 2012, and a few things that might have made sense when written at the time are now canon-contradictory because of advancements in the FiM series' story arcs. For example, Twilight does not use her wings in this fic, because she became an alicorn long after this story actually began curse you MA Larson. If you're sensitive to this sort of thing, please bear with it. I should also stress that such details are few in this story.

To the next person who says this story is like the hunger games, I will come to your house and stab you in the eye with a spork. seeing as how I've run out of sporks due to the insolence of your comrades, I will funnel elephant shit in your ear through a vuvuzela, wearing a Pinkie Pie mask while Winter Wrap-Up plays in the back at full volume.

Edited by DeathRiseRobo for chapters 1 to 6, Brony_Fife for chapter 7, and Dr Bob for chapters 8 to 10. Big thanks to them!

Artwork belongs to vombavr on DeviantArt. I used it without his permission, and this I recognize. On his/her own request only will I remove it.


Chapters (12)
Comments ( 367 )

Slowly claps.

Well played.:trixieshiftleft:
You've done good.
You have my attention with this fic.
I will track this.

Kinda like the hunger games :pinkiecrazy:
P.s.s maybe you can read my story called my day in ponyville

Wow. For a 'comedy'-tagged fic, this is pretty intense.

Still, I really like it. *tracks*

Okay, enough endorsing your own story on other people's, sir/madam. I've seen your shameless self-promotion on at least ten other fics. For crying out loud, just STOP. If you keep this up, no-one is going to shed a tear when you get banned for spamming.

heck yeah, i'mma gonna follow this story. will the CMC's make an appearance? if so i hope they go hoof to hoof with diamond and Silver.
i can imagine it now. the CMC have Diamond and Silver pinned down with paintball fire. either applebloom or scootaloo shouts out to Silver Spoon that they won't shoot her if she joins them, Silver Spoons glances at DT, then at the CMC who got the highground on them, SS then shoots DT in the back. lol

Read all about it in this epic tale of trust and betrayal, starring Jodie Foster as Applejack......:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:
dis gon B gud

Comment posted by Wisher deleted Dec 1st, 2013

Ponies and paintball. Excuse me, I just have one thing to say.


This was awesome. It truly was. I certainly liked Applejack's and Mac's conversation. interesting, and quite funny, in my opinion. Good job, and I'll be watching to see where this goes.:moustache:

now for the hunger games picture thingie for paintball

Nice job, dude. Nice posting time, nice stuff.
Got it ready for me? *hint hint* :duck:

1756343 weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/soon-horse.jpg

Most likely I'll be finished before midnight today eastern time. Woops scratch that, I've just been invited to have a drink with my friends :twilightblush: And it is Friday night here in Paris... By the way the place I'm going to is this bar right here. Can't pass on that! But I'll have it ready soon, real soon

1757379 I am SO jealous right now. Well, not really.
You know where I'm going?
My tryout's today for a new show... No info for those outside the circle. :twilightsmile:

1758420 Dude! That's amazing!! :pinkiehappy: Cartoon network, damn! well good luck with that :rainbowkiss:

1758584 Moar. Soon. In exactly... 3 hours Right now :D

Will the antagonists play? I want to see Chrysalis pretend to be Celestia, and make RD think she won, and get her when she's not looking. :rainbowkiss:

1758743 wat.




I. go. IN.

I probably shouldn't... but I love how you combined paintball imagery with war imagery, especially Bon Bon's last words.

U got paintball, so can i get pillow fight??? :trollestia::trollestia::trollestia:
But u killed Bon bon too early:fluttercry:.
I would favourite it, but i already have :eeyup:


1759493 ^^

Chapter III coming to you folks in a few hours

1762405 ohmygodjesuscrapshootstuffifinishchapterckeyboardshaking


1763800 You can write such an alternate chapter if you want. But I'm not going to go with that myself, for a reason I'm going to state here so that all the readers can see it: the entire storyline and pretty much every chapter draft has alreayd been made. This means I'm not changing any ideas I already had planned, or "altering the course" of the fic in any way, unless somebody submits an idea that I can fit in and that is brilliant.

1763808 Another message to all my readers: you are about to witness a whole new level of Derpy. Prepare for something that will leave you :derpyderp2:. I am introducing a new level of Derpy, for better or worse. That is all :raritywink:

can Silver Spoon help the CMC shoot Diamond Tiara?

Can't wait to see where Spike fits into all of this.

Derpy the cross-eyed demon, the bane of paintball players everywhere.
if she wins I bet her heart's desire is not normal eyes but a ginormous muffin

Derpy wins the game and orders many many muffins :pinkiehappy:

Your ridiculously tiny print amuses me.

Again, would like again, but i already have.

Comment posted by Wisher deleted Dec 10th, 2012

Nice one. You did good.


1777319 A picture of my ass will get featured here before this does :p

EDIT 55w later: Well, look at that, guess I was wrong. Huh.

The Whooves reference and Ditzy: brilliant :pinkiehappy:

Do you have any idea how much hate you are going to draw for making Doctor Whooves lose this early? :fluttercry: People say there's no hate in the brony community, but the Doctor has a cult after him. I won't downvote, because this is a great story, but I don't like it as much anymore. :fluttershysad:



Care to make a bet?

Well, well, well... This won't end well...

Derpy is a sniper? Like, legit? ..... BUCK YES :flutterrage:
And how dare you kill the Doctor! (Despite that his death was hilarious. :rainbowlaugh:)

1777767 I'm sorry to hear you feel that way, but then again, I have to say it: it's tough love :twilightsheepish: The point of this fic is that I wanted to try my hand at an adventure with an all-star cast, in the style of SSB Brawl. It's incredibly fun to write, but also very demanding; how does one give an equal importance to every character to make the story appealing to everybody? Quite simply, it can't be done. There are some characters that are bound to be more important than others, otherwise this thing will just turn out as a big mess.
You're going to tell me 'sure, but why the doctor?' If you were thinking that it's because I have some distaste for him or for Doctor Who as a whole, let me assure that that's not the case :twilightsmile: The answer is quite simple: I'm not a fan of the show. I tried watching it but it just doesn't connect with me like other things that pick my fancy, like Breaking Bad or MLP. As a result, I know next to nothing about the doctor. This means that if I was to write anything doctor whooves-centric, fans of the character like you would be thoroughly disappointed. Think about it, which is better? Doctor Whooves having the role that I gave him, or having to read through a few chapters of an annoying, wobbly, criminally OOC Doctor that brings nothing useful to the story and is full of irritating clichés?
As I mentioned above, there will be other characters that come and go, to the joy or annoyance of readers depending on their tastes, and there will also be characters you might like yourself that will have significant roles, to the annoyance of other readers who don't share your tastes. That fact just can't be avoided. A great man once said "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." (that great man also once said zip zop zobedy bop jello pudding. He was quite insightful).

1777832 :rainbowlaugh: Thanks. Maybe next time. But you know, as much as I joke about it, I don't write exclusively to get featured. That's not the big goal. What I want is to have fun writing out the daydreams in my head and sharing that fun with other people. That's all I want, and I take immense pleasure in writing this story, even for the little number of people that follow it. You guys rule :yay:

1781206 We're your biggest FANS!

Mmm, hey, Wisher, hold the coke, would you? :pinkiecrazy:

I'm confused. Why is this in the 'Discord on the Loose!' group when Discord isn't even tagged here? :rainbowhuh: Is he going to come up later?
Nevermind. I should read the description more often. :rainbowlaugh:

1781206 As I said, I won't downvote... but I can't promise about others...

Kick ass pipsqueak is kick ass

An original idea... in FIMFICTION!?

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