What Comes With The Wind
Ponyville Paintball
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Chapter VIII
She steadied herself.
Remember. The wind is a foe. It won’t stop before it breaks your aim.
Way up here, there’s nothing to distract you. Nothing else to focus on. Nothing left to chance… except for the wind.
She adjusted her weapon only a fraction higher above her shoulder. The barrel was now perfectly aligned with her gaze.
Watch it move. Just because it’s unseen doesn’t mean it can’t be seen. Feel it dance all around you.
The trick to the wind is that you don’t feel it. It just comes and goes, without notice. You know it’s there, you know what it is. But you don’t feel it. There are other things to feel. It’s there. But it’s not there.
The sky was an irritating, pale grey. Not a single sound could be heard.
Up here, as well. It’s here, but like always, you don’t feel it. That’s because you don’t think about feeling it.
But there’s nothing else up here. Nothing but you and the wind. Nothing between you and why you are here, except for an unknown enemy. That’s what the wind is.
It only takes a whisper. The kind of silent touch you cannot feel. That’s all it takes to lead all your shots astray. It’s the kind of thing you don’t think about.
And you can be prepared as much as you want; if you strike, but don’t think about it, there’s nothing you can do. You cannot beat the wind.
She knew that any second could be the moment.
You can’t beat it. You can only work with it. Only then does it become a friend.
First you feel it. Then you learn its way. Once you do, your shots can’t miss. Then there’s nothing between you and your target. A single, flawless shot can only be done by he who is one with the wind.
Her eyes narrowed.
Leave nothing to chance.
Any second now…
…
“There!” shouted Twilight.
The pegasus fired once, with great power but her entire balance intact. There was virtually no time in between the warning and her strike. Just as she pulled the trigger, she felt a powerful movement of air come in from behind her, as if to push all its strength into that one shot and carry it through the wide open space in front of her. It flew in a straight, uncompromised line.
Derpy looked up from her lens and stared at the spot towards which she had fired. Nothing moved there, which worried her; she always saw something move after she fired. Carefully but quickly she spun round and looked at Twilight.
“Well?” she asked. She wasn’t really asking Twilight if she had seen something that she might have missed. After all she was the sniper with ironically perfect eyesight. The question was more of a demand for an explanation from Twilight.
The unicorn was staring at the same spot with a scrunched up expression and her forehoof above her eyes as if to shield them from the sun although it didn’t shine at all, hidden behind milky rainclouds.
“Uh…” she said. Derpy dreaded the rest of the sentence, feeling she knew how it would end, and she did.
“I… I think I got it wrong. It was just a bird.”
Derpy slowly turned back towards the impregnable view she had on the Everfree forest, not without a very loud and heavy sigh of exasperation.
“Well that’s just fantastic,” she said, defeated.
“I’m sorry, Ditzy,” said Twilight with a genuine tone of guilt. “I’m doing my best. I wish I could do it again, I really do, but--"
“I just hope your best isn’t going to rid the Everfree forest of all its birds before we have an actual target on our hooves,” retorted Derpy. She adjusted her rifle with a sharp push of her shoulder. “Keep looking. And be careful!”
Twilight gave a sigh of defeat herself before sitting down in a sinking motion upon the hard ground of the rocky bluff. She really thought she had seen Discord’s tail again flailing among the treetops. She had put all her concentration into that one glimpse, thinking it over for a split second before deciding that a second more and it would be too late. Now it seemed that they were to start all over again.
“Uh… Ditzy,” she said weakly, “it’s getting late… I think I should go down and get some wood for the fire before night falls.”
There was a heavy silence for a few seconds that made Twilight very uncomfortable before Derpy replied.
“You do that,” she muttered. Twilight winced from the implied idea in that answer that it was her only real use here anyway.
She eased herself up, heavy from fatigue, and broodingly walked away towards the part of the bluff that sloped down into the woods below.
She continued walking absently once she was down in between the trees, mulling things over in her depression. The last few days had been no different than a week in hell for Twilight. What seemed at first like a good opportunity to wait out this paintball game she wasn’t going to win anyway turned out to be seven days of just sitting on rock and doing nothing, in the buzzing heat of a storm that never seemed to come. She’d been excited at first, since she’d discovered with Derpy a side of Equestria’s inner workings only she was privy to, not to mention a newfound magical ability to spot a certain troublemaker from miles away. She thought she could actually put it to some good use, and help Derpy and the princesses keep Equestria safe.
But ever since that one fateful encounter, that power had not shown itself to her again. Not even once.
She felt crushed. It dawned on her with a cold pang of sadness that she was completely out of her element. She wasn’t a paintball player or a sniper or anything. She was absolutely nothing.
Close to tears as she weakly picked up some twigs and small branches in her maw, she wished in that moment that she could be shot, right there and then, and get it over with. She thought of apologizing to Derpy, but then again she wouldn’t have anything to apologize for, except for being useless.
She froze. Standing by a tree was her mother.
She gasped and dropped the wood she’d been collecting, and all her depressing thoughts were instantly replaced by pure shock. As she’d been looking around the woods for branches in her daydreaming, she only caught a glimpse, but she was sure of it. She had seen her mother staring at her without a word from a nearby spot. Her breath shallow, she gave furtive looks to her sides to see where it was her mother was standing.
But there was no one around. She was surrounded by grass and a forest of thin birches here and there.
After a while she drew in a long, shaky breath in an attempt to compose herself. She’d probably imagined it. One of my many magical talents, right? The thought stung. She would have liked to have the comfort of her mother by her side at this gloomy time. Her heart still beating fast, she resumed her wood collection, starting with picking up the branches she had dropped. It was when she raised her head that she saw her father staring at her in the distance.
This time she shrieked, the sound echoing in the quiet forest, and took an instinctive step backwards.
Still cowering, she looked around frantically for the vision she had just seen, her head darting from side to side like a scared animal.
Again, the vision had disappeared.
Twilight could feel her her heart pounding erratically inside her chest. Beads of sweat ran down her temples, and she was having trouble standing. Trying to regain a normal stance made her legs wobble, her body naturally resisting against a potential threat. She tried to call out to anyone nearby.
“H-He…”
The words fell dull and dry in her throat. She swallowed.
“Hello…?” she asked in an involuntary impression of Fluttershy.
Nothing moved in the deathly standstill of the forest.
It was a good nerve-wracking 5 minutes of silence for Twilight before she gathered the strength to stand somewhat upright on her legs. Her breathing had eased a little, but her eyes still darted around cautiously, not daring to move a muscle.
I should probably grab the wood and run back to the bluff, thought Twilight. She’d take depressing over terrifying.
Her eyes went as far to the side of her head as they could, as if they were trying to allow her to see behind her without moving. When she realized that this was obviously not going to happen, and that the only way out of this situation was through rational action, she began calming herself down as much as she could. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, then mechanically she scooped up some of the scattered wood and in a lightning fast turn she made a run for the opposite direction.
But before she could take a single step, she felt a great pain strike her in the back of the head out of nowhere. It was as if somepony had just whipped her with a live wire.
Twilight didn’t have time to scream or do anything before she fell to the ground with a great thump, unable to get up.
The breath had been knocked out of her, and she felt numb. She tried opening her eyes, but could only do so a little, and all she could see was a blurry close-up of the grass that covered the ground on which she lay.
She heard the sound of hoofsteps. They were distant and muffled, but she could tell in her daze that somepony was walking towards her.
She then felt a tug at her tail, telling her that this pony was grabbing a hold of it. She was too wiped out to fight it, so she had no other option but to let it happen. In that moment she could only think of one thing.
That was no paintball. It was something more. Some strong, dark magic.
Without anymore sound or disturbance, Twilight dozed off to the rhythmic sound of brushing leaves, as she was being dragged away on the ground, deep into the woods.
* * *
Earlier that day
Cheerilee awoke with a groan, greeted by a single beam of morning sun straight in the face.
She was in a terrible mood, having had only had a few miserable hours of sleep in her cramped little booth in Apple Bloom’s treehouse. Her face felt stony and she had to run a hoof over it to soothe the feeling. Her usually clean mane was now dusty and wild, and her fur was ragged all over. Even as she removed her hoof from her face, she could feel bags tugging at the bottom of her eyes, giving the teacher a murderous craving for some beauty sleep.
She’d just woken up from what had to have been the most bizarre dream ever. She had dreamt that she was in the Everfree forest with her class armed to the teeth with paint guns, one of which shot her. Next thing she knew she was a princess watching a discussion take place between Sun Tzu and Robert E. Lee.
Thank Celestia that’s over, she thought. She had a good mind to go home, wash up and forget all this nonsense. She tried getting out of the booth she’d been curled up in for what felt like ages, but her limbs were stiff from bad positioning and moving them even a little made her grunt in annoyance.
From the corner of her eye, she saw something move in the treehouse. She looked, and despite everything was still thoroughly surprised to see Apple Bloom was still here. She’d noticed her guest had awoken, and after looking at each other for a second Cheerilee spotted the bright yellow plastic gun in Apple Bloom’s hooves. The sight of the gun brought the reality of it all back to her in a surge, and she groaned loudly with a frustration that had nothing to do with lack of sleep.
“Ah reckon you still need to rest a little longer, Miss Cheerilee,” said Apple Bloom. “The war has been scheduled fer tomorrow, an’--”
“Nope! No thank you, Apple Bloom!” replied Cheerilee in what was meant to sound like a pleasant voice but came out as a disheveled squeak of some sort. “I got aaall the rest I need!” she said, in a painful effort to quickly stand up so as to prove her point. She was certain that if she heard the word ‘war’ one more time she was going to puke.
Apple Bloom stared at her teacher, who was struggling to get out of her cramped confines, with a quizzical look. “Ah don’t think so,” she said.
Cheerilee stopped moving and stared back at the filly. She felt like a character in a serial killer movie.
Apple Bloom moved towards Cheerilee, which made her whimper. The filly mistakenly took this as a sign of her teacher being wounded.
“Come on now, Miss Cheerilee, ah know yer hurt an’ ya don’t wanna stay here--” Cheerilee let out a groan that confirmed that last part exactly, “--an’ ah wanna go too but we can’t jus’ leave that smelly traitor Dahmond Tiawrah get away without givin’ her the what fer!”
It was as she dreaded. The foal was back full swing into the whole epic saga thing. Cheerilee’s job made her more patient than the average pony, but this was just ridiculous.
“For goodness’s sake, Apple Bloom,” she said, “would you please stop inv--”
Her plea was interrupted when the door to the treehouse crashed open and revealed Sweetie Belle.
“APPLEBLOOOOM!”
If there had been windows in the treehouse they would have broke into a million pieces. Apple Bloom jumped at least two feet in the air, and Cheerilee gnashed her teeth hard and winced in pain as the filly’s shrill scream made an unbearable whistling sound go through her already throbbing head. Against her better judgement, in front of the two fillies, she blurted out a very rude expression akin to a plea for someone to fornicate her with a rake.
Apple Bloom dashed towards Sweetie Belle, stopping muzzle to muzzle with the unicorn and giving her a look of utter fury.
“Wut in sam hill do ya think yer doin’ bargin’ in and hollerin’ like that, Sweetie Belle??” she yelled. “Can’t ya see our dear leader is wounded enough already without ya screamin’ her ears off? An’ didn’ ah tell ya ta address me as ‘commander Apple Bloom’ from now on??”
“It doesn’t matter!” replied Sweetie Belle, to Apple Bloom’s surprise. She was about to say something about having her authority respected, but she was silenced by curiosity. The little filly in front of her was completely out of breath, and she was obviously extremely alarmed about something.
“It’s… It’s…!” she began, so distraught she couldn’t even speak coherently.
“Wut is it?” replied Apple Bloom. “Ah ain’t exactly in the mood for guessin’ games right now!”
“It’s Sweet Apple Acres!” replied Sweetie Belle, forcing the words to her mouth. “There’s been an attack!”
Something broke inside Apple Bloom. The barn was where she had left all her troops for the night.
“Oh no…” she said in a daze.
“We’ve gotta go there! Hurry!”
Apple Bloom spun round and snatched her gun from the floor of the treehouse. She followed Sweetie Belle as the latter darted outside. Before she shut the door she turned around to Cheerilee.
“Ah’ll be right back, Miss Cheerilee! Ah ain’t gonna let this infidel get her way!”
The door slammed and Cheerilee fell to the floor with a heavy sigh of relief, knocking the dear leader booth down.
Finally, some actual rest.
* * *
As the two fillies galloped through the main gate at Sweet Apple Acres, Apple Bloom felt a heavy lump form in her throat. Even from afar she could see that the barn had been turned into a giant canvas strewn with splashes of paint of all colours. She had a really bad feeling about what had happened here, and it was about to get worse.
They slowed down once they arrived at the wooden fence surrounding the barn. The fence gate was open, but yellow tape had been stuck in thin banners from one fencepost to another as if to keep somebody out.
Scootaloo was waiting for her two friends there. Upon seeing Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle arriving she galloped to meet them.
“Oh my gosh,” she said with distress, “Apple Bloom, I just found out, they came during the night and--”
Apple Bloom silently walked right past her at a fast pace, ignoring the filly completely, a look of fierce determination in her eyes.
Still walking, she ripped the tape off the gate and advanced into the dusty courtyard that led to the barn. In the courtyard was Granny Smith, walking slowly towards Apple Bloom. There was a tray on her back with a steaming cup with a wide handle suited for pony hooves. Unlike anypony else around, Granny Smith was wearing her usual warm smile, indicating she either didn’t realize what had happened or just didn’t care that much.
“Ah, hello there Apple Bloom,” she said in her kind and cracking voice. “How’s it goin’ fer ya young’uns and yer game of whadjamacallit? Little Scootaloo here said ya were on yer way so I fixed ya yer favorite coco drink, jus’ the--”
Without breaking her stride, Apple Bloom walked up to her granny and ably snatched the cup off the tray without making it or its carrier fall.
“Thanks Granny,” she said moodily as she took a sip and continued walking. “You get yerself somewhere safe now, this ain’t gonna be purty.”
On a bale of hay there was a beige trenchcoat and an assorted hat that Apple Bloom often kept around in case there was work to be done on the farm in rainy weather. She grabbed both of them and put them on, before walking up to the filly she had been looking for.
That filly was none other than one Babs Seed, Apple Bloom’s cousin from Manehattan. She was also a player of the game, and she hadn’t hesitated for an instant when Apple Bloom had told her about the situation and how they would need security for the sleeping troops. Apple Bloom considered herself very lucky to be her cousin. They had their trust issues in the past, but she had learned that her heart was in the right place.
But unfortunately today was not the time for a heartfelt family reunion. Apple Bloom advanced towards Babs, who met her halfway with a brief and solemn nod. Together they walked the last few feet to the barn doors, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle trotting behind to keep up with them.
“Talk ta me, Babs,” said Apple Bloom with a serious voice and a slurp of her coco. Babs shook her head.
“Just like you said, it ain’t pretty, boss,” she replied with her husky Hooflyn accent. “Whole place was turned into a polka party center ovanight.”
They reached the doors and Babs walked through, followed by her cousin. The two other fillies were about to enter the barn as well, but they were halted by Apple Bloom turning around to face them in the doorway, her forelegs grabbing a door each.
“Non-authorized personnel are strictly forbidden beyond this point, please evacuate the crime scene,” she said in a fast, machine-like tone. She then slammed the doors on the two foals, who exchanged puzzled looks and wondered in the privacy of their own mind if they were still playing epic medieval war or not.
After closing the door, Apple Bloom turned around and sighed heavily. She’d been doing her best not to show her distress in front of the two other crusaders, and now was the time to let it out.
As she looked around the barn, her eyes widened in horror and she sunk to the ground as if she’d been shot herself.
The scene that presented itself to her was a depressing one. A multicoloured hurricane seemed to have ravaged the place, as a myriad of paint splatters big and small coated every corner from the floor to high up on the walls with even a few stray shots having reached the ceiling. She saw blue, green, yellow and all sorts of different shades of all colours, even a great deal of that unmistakable dull grey that was Silver Spoon’s. On the ground, beds that had been made for the few foals that were on Apple Bloom’s side were undone and their bedding strewn upon the ground where a handful of foals still lay, moaning in pain that showed on the speckled coats and faces like a bizarre form of chicken pox.
Apple Bloom felt entirely undone. It wasn’t just about Diamond Tiara’s cowardly attack, not even because of the paintball game in itself. The hay that she and her family had stacked for the winter, the mangers for the cows, all sorts of other tools and supplies. All sullied, bent or broken by the violence that had taken place here. The entire barn supplies were useless.
“They came in the middle of the night,” said Babs to Apple Bloom who was still crushed by what she was seeing. “The bullies, I mean. They came from out of the night and all around the barn, I never saw them comin’. One moment I’m standin’ guard and next thing you know I hear a million clicks of pulled triggas and paint crahsin’ on walls. They forced themselves in and went carnival on the place while two of them held guns on me. There was nuthin’ I could do… Was a miracle that I wasn’t hit.”
Apple Bloom nodded absently, still reeling from shock.
“But… but how?” she asked, feeling utterly helpless. “Sweet Apple Acres isn’t in the Everfree Forest, it ain’t supposed ta be part of the game! That’s why ah put ‘em here, to keep ‘em safe! Did Diamond Tiara jus’ went an’ broke the rules set by Princess Celestia herself?”
“I guess the Princess wasn’t bein’ too careful, and somehow Diamond Tiara managed to break out of the Everfree Forest an’ get here,” said Babs. “Woulda thought the forest was capable of keeping bad guys out of our territory… I guess some bad stuff just happens, though.”
Apple Bloom cradled her head in her hooves for a few seconds then shook it and got up.
“Any survivors?” she asked with a little more composure.
“A few of them managed to get away through the windows,” replied Babs.
Apple Bloom’s determination had returned, and she walked further into the barn towards a chubby little colt with a fez hat. He moaned in pain, a splatter of yellow paint over one of his eyes. Apple Bloom squatted down over him.
“Who did this to ya?” she asked.
“Do you need to ask?” replied the colt. “It was an ambush… Silver Spoon was there, Snips and Snails too, I--”
“How many escaped?”
“I don’t know,” said the colt. “Most of us were shot… we couldn’t... do... anything…”
On the last word his head fell with a thud on the ground, his eyes rolling backward and his throat giving one last, exaggerated rasp as if to signify his death.
Unfazed, Apple Bloom got up and turned to face her cousin.
“We gotta find the other survivors an’ put em to safety!”
“I took care of that already,” said Babs. “Put em’ in the royal princesses’ old castle. I hear nopony has the guts to go near the place anyway.”
Apple Bloom gave a weak smile. Nopony but Babs, of course.
“Thanks, Babs,” she said. Babs shook her head again, as if to say Apple Bloom was wrong.
“Fuggetaboudit,” she said. “I couldn’t do nuttin’ last night. But I know that tomorrow there’s some serious flank-whoopin’ that’s gonna go down, and I got a good mind to give some fillies what’s comin’ to the jokers.”
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were still waiting in front of the barn when Apple Bloom came out. The trotted up to her.
“Well?” asked Scootaloo. Apple Bloom want to a nearby bale of hay, throwing herself down upon it and looking at the sky.
“It ain’t good,” she said. “The whole barn’s had its paint job redone, an’ we lost half our army.”
The two other fillies looked at each other in alarm. “Well what are we gonna do?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“There’s only one thing we can do,” said Apple Bloom while getting up. “We need the help of the Master.”
Scootaloo looked at her with a mixture of puzzlement and pity. “Apple Bloom, I know you really look up to Miss Cheerilee but she’s been shot, there’s nothing she can do to help us.”
Apple Bloom flashed her an unimpressed look.
“No, dummy, she’s the leader,” she said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. She then gave both her friends a wink and a wily smile.
“Ah’m talkin’ about the Master…”
* * *
Out in the woods, Applejack was walking quietly in between the trees.
She was going nowhere in particular. It occurred to her that opponents were getting increasingly difficult to find, and that the special truce she had made with Rainbow Dash might prove useless if the end of the game was near. But she considered it important to stay on good terms with her friends, no matter what kind of competition might put their friendship to the test. After all, none of the Elements of Harmony had been shot out of the game yet. If one of them did shoot another, it would still be a game, but she couldn’t exclude the possibility that it might create a rip in the fabric of that friendship.
That was her goal. To preserve the harmony between her and her gals. And even though she was wandering in the forest, she still had one particular destination in mind, and that destination was Fluttershy.
If there was one pony that needed protection it was her. They’d lost track of each other since Applejack’s last encounter with Zecora, and Applejack was worried about what had happened to the pegasus in a forest she didn’t dare set hoof into.
She couldn’t help thinking back about that day. Why was it that a day that had been so easy-going on the two of them should end with magical clearings and bloodthirsty zebras? Now the autumnal glow of the moment was replaced by gloomy grey skies. Not to mention the wind that had carried her hat which each gust as if on purpose, leading her all too conveniently to that place before dying down so abruptly she hadn’t even noticed it…
For a simple game of paintball, there sure were some strange things taking place. She wondered… maybe it was just her. Or maybe, just maybe…
The silence around her was suddenly broken. Applejack heard the telltale snap of a twig, and stopped walking immediately. She raised her lead, slowly examining her surroundings. Her ear twitched.
A voice spoke.
“Tell me, o brother of mine, do you think our good chum Applejack here would mind if we joined her in her afternoon stroll?”
Applejacked cringed. That unpleasant and snarky voice could only belong to one pony, or rather two very similar ponies. And sure enough, from behind a tree came one of the Flim Flam brothers, a naughty grin on his face. Applejack didn’t know whether her was Flim or Flam; she referred to them as ‘the one with the mustache and the one without’.
It didn’t matter much, because from behind another tree came the other brother.
“I reckon’ she wouldn’t, dear brother,” he said, in a mockery of Applejack’s voice.
The farm mare stood firmly on the spot, her unblinking eyes cautiously staring at the two brothers as they approached her from both sides until they arrived at a safe distance from her.
“May we?” they said in unison.
Applejack said nothing for the moment. She wouldn’t let their teasing get to her.
“What are you two rattlesnakes doin’ here?” she asked coolly.
Flim turned to his brother with a look of being deeply hurt.
“My goodness, is that any way to treat old friends?”
“I know, brother o’ mine, I know. Then again she was never to friendly to begin with, but that’s just part of her charisma wouldn’t you say?”
“Are you two fer real?” retorted Applejack. “Ya’ll come waltzin’ right outta nowhere all of a sudden an’ expect me ta show any kindness? Looks like you boys ain’t never learned yer lesson.”
“Come now, Applejack,” said Flam with the kind of smirk that buisenessponies the like of which the honest Applejack hated. “Surely we can let the past go and behave like civilized ponies do? I mean, we’ve done some questionable things in the past--”
“--and used underhanded techniques, ‘tis true,” cut in Flim.
“But honestly, you must understand and see the big picture here! Dubious deeds indeed, but it’s all part of the wonderful game of business!”
“My brother and I have been playing it all our lives, and if it were all clean and straightforward, would it be any fun?”
“We like to play it rough, I admit. But it’s all in the spirit of friendly competition! Just like Paintball, which you play quite expertly, if I’m not mistaken?”
Flam extended a hoof to Applejack and flashed her a broad smile.
Applejack’s eyes went back and forth between Flam and his hoof, before looking at him with raised eyebrows and half-lidded eyes, an unimpressed look that was common to many Apple family members who were known to be level-headed folk.
“Yer serious. Yer actually serious,” she said.
“But of course,” he replied, seemingly unaffected by her reaction. “The Flim Flam Brothers never meant to be on bad terms with you! After all do we not share a passion for the same craft?”
Applejack gave a single, dry chuckle.
“Good gravy, Flam, ah thought you an’ yer twin woulda learned ah ain’t no airhead,” she said. “Ah’ll spare ya the innuendos an’ cut to the chase: ah know that right now yer tryin’ ta butter me up ta win mah trust so that y’all can get yer greedy hooves on Sweet Apple Acres.”
Flam slowly withdrew his hoof with a troubled look, which he saw reflected on his brother’s face. He looked back at Applejack and saw her grinning.
“Honestly, don’t you two have any other ambition? Like, ah dunno, make yer own business instead of tryin’ ta steal mah family’s?”
Flim and Flam looked at each other for a few seconds. Then the two brothers exploded in loud laughter. They guffawed for a while, almost to the point of tears. Applejack, who had no patience for the pair's exaggerated antics, shot them a murderous glare.
“You… I’m afraid it’s our turn to enquire about the seriousness of your claim!” said an out-of-breath Flim, wiping a tear from his eye.
“A simple ‘yer wrong’ woulda sufficed,” muttered Applejack.
“Fine then. You’re wrong,” said Flam. The two brothers looked at Applejack with haughtiness, for once in absolute sincerity. This worried Applejack, and once more she stood alert as she tried to look into Flam’s eyes while he shot her a condescending look. “It seems you’ve spent so much time playing survival that you’ve lost track of recent events.”
Applejack tensed up. “What events?” she asked, bracing herself for the answer.
“Call it Karma,” said Flim.
“Karma?”
“Why yes,” answered Flam. “I think it’s safe to confess that at first, we were indeed after your farm. Perseverance goes a long way, after all.”
“That’s right, my brother and I set out to the edge of the woods to see if the place was unoccupied.”
Applejack gaped at the two brothers in bewilderment. “You tried ta steal mah farm?” she said in disbelief.
“Yes, it’s a bit drastic, I’ll admit.” said Flim. “But it doesn’t matter much now,” he added before she could reply.
“That’s right,” said Flam. “Because this morning we arrived at the edge of the wood upon a nice little hilltop from which we could gaze upon the beauty of your magnificent estate.”
“Well ah sure hope it satisfied yer curiosity,” spat Applejack. But the two brothers were not offended.
“Oh yes,” said Flam. “We were satisfied.”
Their grins widened, which worried Applejack even more as she started to feel her heart rate increase.
“You two better tell me what’s goin’ on right now or ah swear--”
“We saw the barn,” said Flim. “We really like what you’ve done with the place.”
Once more they broke out into jaw-breaking laughter, and it was taking all of Applejack’s self-control not to whip out her gun and make them taste the paint within. The only reason she didn’t was because she needed to know what it was that made them so happy, and she knew that if she threatened them they might aim back at her with their own guns and stay moot on the subject.
“What about the barn?” she asked through gritted teeth.
“It seems that sometime recently, a good-natured soul paid a visit to Sweet Apple Acres and gave the barn a whole new paint job, one little splotch at a time. And it looks like they didn’t exactly contain themselves either; they made holes in the walls, broke down the windows… I’m quite certain they didn’t stop halfway and did the inside as well.”
The words came as a hard blow to Applejack. It was as if they were talking about a person very close to her.
“So yeah, we don’t want your farm anymore,” said Flim. He grinned. “The place is a dump.”
For Applejack, that was the last straw. In the blink of an eye, she withdrew her gun and presented its barrel to both brothers. They must have seen this coming, and they did just the same as her at the same moment, gaining the upper hand before she could even pull the trigger.
“Ta ta ta, not so fast there, little cowgirl,” said Flam mockingly.
“Y’all try ta steal mah farm behind mah back, and you think you can jus’ insult it ta boot?” replied Applejack. “Ah bet you jus’ vandalized mah property yerselves like the sore losers you are!”
“Now while that’s a reasonable hypothesis I’m afraid it’s a bad apple as far as possibilities go, my little friend,” said Flam. “For ‘twas not our work, but that of a certain benefactor whose heart is no doubt in the right place.”
A tense silence ensued during which Applejack carefully evaluated her chances. She was sure of one thing: she had to act fast. This wasn’t a one-on-one confrontation at gunpoint, during which she could stall for a fairly long time in order to elaborate a strategy on the spot. There were two of them, and one of her. If they shot together at the same time, Applejack knew she would have to dodge both shots and pull a fast one on both of them in order to win. She had to brace and prepare herself to do that, knowing that any second now the shots would be fired at her.
Applejack sighed. Why was it that every encounter with another pony had to end up in a tense duel?
She thought for a second too late, and two shots rang out in the forest almost simultaneously.
Two shots that struck Flim and Flam on the back of their necks and sent them toppling forward with surprised grunts. Applejack herself couldn’t believe it, partly because this was the second time this had happened to her. She gaped at the splotches of paint on the two stallions’ necks and saw they were sky blue.
In a split second she knew what had happened, and sure enough, when she raised her head, she saw Rainbow Dash calmly walking towards her from behind her attackers, a gun twirling in her hoof and a wide grin on her face.
“Oh fer cryin’ out loud!” yelled Applejack. Her pride was hurt. Rainbow Dash giggled and looked at the farm pony as if she were just a small filly.
“If you want, I can escort you to the last pony. I’ll even let you shoot it yourself!” she said.
“Fergit it!” said Applejack. “This ain’t like wit’ Zecora, ah had the situation under control!”
Rainbow Dash winked at Applejack in response, which made her so frustrated to have been bailed out again by this amateur that her face became as red as Big Mac’s coat. Rainbow giggled as she approached the two stallions she had just shot and bent over them.
“Better make like a tree,” she said. “I don’t wanna see you two kooks bullying anypony else around here or there will be trouble.”
Flim and Flam, who were still laying on the ground, made grunting sounds of fatigue and slowly got up.
“Well. It can be said that we’re quite offended,” said Flim, while he and his brother brushed themselves off proudly at the same time.
“Indeed, dear brother of mine, it seems wherever we go these Ponyvillians are the only ones who don’t appreciate our salesmanship,” said Flam.
“But I know us both to be above such rudeness. So, dear Applejack,” said Flim, bowing and putting a hoof across his chest in salute while his brother did the same, “we bid you adieu, even though you wouldn’t hav--”
“Git,” spat Applejack.
The two brothers looked up in surprise before turning their backs to the two mares and walking away with a look of disdain. Rainbow watched them retreat into the woods and shook her head.
“Those two sure are oddballs,” she said. “I don’t get why you hang around them all the time.”
She then looked at Applejack, who looked extremely bored, and gave her a tiny smile.
“So? Which one d’you have a crush on? Is it the one with the musta--”
“Why. Are. You. Here,” said Applejack in a low apathetic voice without looking back at her friend, carefully enunciating every word.
“Sheesh, no need to look so bummed out, AJ,” said Rainbow.
“Uh, actually, yeah, there is,” said Applejack as she turned to Rainbow with annoyance. “Why d’ya always have ta save me like ah ain’t capable of handlin’ mahself? When ah said truce, ah didn’t mean ‘don’t shoot me jus’ shoot everypony else’! Yer takin all the fun out of it!”
“Yeah, cornered at gunpoint by two greedy nutjobs, that looks hilarious.”
“Wouldya stop nitpickin’ an’ makin’ excuses fer yerself and jus’ get the point!” yelled AJ in exasperation.
But Rainbow Dash did not even blink, gave AJ a determined look.
“AJ, I’m your friend. And a friend is somepony who’s got your back. All day, every day,” she gave Applejack yet another wink. “Truche shmuce. Nopony’s gonna hit one of my friends while I’m around.”
Applejack’s expression softened a little. It was Rainbow’s manner of staying true to herself and to others that she couldn’t help but admire, whereas most other ponies would just claim some reward for saving another’s flank and storm away if they didn’t get it. They hoofbumped.
“Ah gotta say, Rainbow,” she said, “ya might be one hotheaded filly, but ya got a mean shot with paintball. Ah was stuck figurin’ out how ta shoot both those guys before they shot me, but you jus’ fired on the double!”
Rainbow gave her a smirk that told Applejack, who only knew her too well, that the mare had a trick up her sleeve.
“Heh. Look what I got,” said Rainbow.
She showed her a blue paintball gun, which Applejack looked at quizzically at first because she thought it was Rainbow’s own. But then she saw that Rainbow’s gun was lying on the grass next to her, and looking closer at the gun her friend was showing her, she saw it was of a lighter, more electric blue, with a subtle streak of yellow along the barrel. Something clicked in her head, and she recognized on the gun the colours of a pony named Lightning Dust.
She looked back at Rainbow and chuckled.
“Well,” she said. “Looks like somepony got their comeuppance.”
“You can say that again,” said Rainbow, puffing her chest. “She tried to give me the whole ‘bygones be bygones’ speech, but it didn’t fall for it of course. It was over quickly.”
She looked at the gun with a smirk, and twirled it around in her hoof.
“You’ll be the prize piece of my collection, little guy,” she told it.
“Heh. A collection, huh?” asked Applejack.
“You bet! Lemme tell ya, AJ, if I had to carry all the guns I’ve won on myself, I wouldn’t be able to fly a foot off the ground! I stashed them all in an old bird’s nest on top of a high tree, so don’t get any ideas!”
Applejack said nothing, and tipped her hat forward so that her face was hidden save for a tiny smile she gave the pegasus.
“If yer implyin’ that ah might be tempted ta snatch one o’ yer guns, don’t lose any sleep over it. This gal’s got her own personal pistol stash anyway, and ah dare say it ain’t nothin’ ta throw a lasso at.”
“Hah! Sure you do.”
“Ya doubt it?” Applejack replied, raising her eyebrows in amusement.
“Hey, I’m just sayin’, there’s a lot more where this came from. Including the mayor’s own gun, which means you don’t have it,” replied Rainbow teasingly.
Applejack gave a hearty laugh. “That’s hardly somethin’ ta brag about! It ain’t like the mayor does a lot o’ paintball or any kinda sports fer that matter!”
“Fine then, who’s gun do you have?” replied Rainbow, feeling that old spark of rivalry firing her up. Applejack chuckled.
“Well let’s jus’ say that when this is over, if the guns stay, Hoity Toity’s gun will make a fine present fer Rarity.”
“That’s nice,” said Rainbow flatly. “Course the effect will be kinda dampened since I’ll have already given her Sapphire Shore’s gun.”
“That’s jus’ one gun. How ‘bout two? Say, if ah were ta also give her Photo Finish’s gun? Gettin’ somethin’ from a pony that’s done ya wrong always does the trick. Course ya already know that, right, Rainbow?”
“That should make it all the better when I give her Prince Blueblood’s!”
“Heh. Not bad, Rainbow, not bad at all.”
“Oh come on! Like you can top that!”
“Actually, ah can’t,” said Applejack to Rainbow’s surprise. “Ya got me good there. But at the end of the day, what matters ain’t who’s, but how many. Ah think I got the upper hoof there.”
“Oh I got more, don’t worry!” replied Rainbow. “I got Berry Punch’s gun!”
“Please, Rainbow. Ah’ll bet she was drunk, missed every shot, and ya probably jus’ had ta pick it up once she dropped it. On the other hoof, ah got Carrot Top’s gun. Now that’s good business leverage.”
“Wanna talk about getting guns from competitors? I got Thunderlane’s gun!”
Neither of the two mares said anything for a second. They looked at each other, and understood they had just thought of the same thing.
“Flitter!” said Rainbow.
“Cloudchaser!” replied Applejack at the exact same time.
A few seconds of silence ensued. Finally Applejack spoke.
“Well ah guess it doesn’t matter. Ah can boast these two beauties now,” she said, watching the two bacon-coloured guns that Flim and Flam had left behind.
Rainbow looked at the guns and bit her lip. She knew that Applejack was two guns ahead of her. She would have to pull a fast one.
Applejack turned to face her and gave her a smug look.
“Ah’m waiting,” she chimed.
Suddenly Rainbow thought of something and her confident demeanor returned.
“Hah. Ok, Applejack, I wasn’t going to use this dirty one on you, but you leave me no choice. I have to confess that I shot Big Macintosh the other day.”
She was delighted to see Applejack completely stumped by that statement. But then the farm mare broke into a loud, rich laugh so suddenly that it made Rainbow jump. Seeing Applejack laughing away until her ribs would ache upset Rainbow.
“What’s so funny?”
“Ah knew it! Oh Rainbow Dash, ya silly gal!” she said through her laughing fit.
“You.. you did?” said Rainbow, confused.
“Shoot, course ah did!” replied Applejack. “C’mon Rainbow. Yer a great shot, like ah said -- but ah just knew ya couldn’t top me on this one and that there had ta be a bluff in there somewhere!”
Rainbow felt a mixture of relief and confusion. She wasn’t bluffing.
Something clicked in her head, and she returned Applejack’s smug look to her.
“Oh. Oh I see what’s going on here,” she said in full confidence. “You’re calling out my bluff, which is a bluff in itself. Very smart, AJ. But I’m calling yours.”
Applejack laughed again and shook her head slowly.
“Stop laughing, it’s annoying!” said Rainbow.
“It’s ok, Dash, sometimes ya gotta know when ta quit.”
“I’m not bluffing, AJ, it was just this morning. He spotted me, he took a shot, I was quicker. Simple as that.”
“Look, Rainbow,” replied an amused Applejack. “Lemme show ya somethin’.”
She took off her hat and showed the inside to Rainbow Dash. Inside was a deep red gun.
“See today ah was feelin’ kinda guilty ‘bout somethin’. First pony ah shot and, well, it’s mah brother. Jus’ didn’t feel right ta jus’ leave it there in a pile under a bush like the rest, so ah went back ta where ah hid mah stash an’ took it with me. I like ta keep a bit of family around.”
She put her hat back on and looked at Rainbow Dash to see what priceless expression she had to offer. But what she saw surprised her.
Rainbow was looking straight into her eyes with an expression that was nothing to laugh about. She looked genuinely terrified.
Applejack found it slightly disturbing. She didn’t know whether her rival was doing a convincing bit of acting or not, or how to react to it. She was about to comment when Rainbow slowly raised her front hoof and took a step back.
“Ok. That,” said Rainbow, “that’s creepy.”
Applejack shrugged.
“Well ah dunno if creepy’s the best way ta put it. It’s a quality hat, an’ it’s got good fixture. Jus’ can’t run around too much now.”
“No…” said Rainbow. “I’m not talking about that.”
Her tone was so serious that it worried Applejack.
“Rainbow what’s got ya so upset like th--”
“Look, just, stay right here, I’ll be back,” said Rainbow.
Before Applejack could reply the pegasus took off and disappeared in the woods in the blink of an eye. Applejack had a just a huge question mark floating around in her head. What is up with that mare?
Soon enough Rainbow returned, carrying something in her hoof which she showed to Applejack. The farm pony froze.
It was the exact same gun. Same colours, same shape, same build. A perfect copy.
Applejack slowly raised her head and looked at Rainbow with just about the same expression that her friend was giving her. Neither of them said anything for a moment. They could have just shrugged it off as some quirk of some sort, but somehow they just knew there was something going on. Everypony had one gun that was unique to them. That was a product of royal magic, and it was undeniable. And yet, plain as day, there were two Big Macintosh guns.
Strange winds, magical clearings, two Big Macs…
What the hay is goin’ on in these woods?
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3651914
images.wikia.com/adventuretimewithfinnandjake/images/7/76/I_am_ready_for_your_rage.png
3651613 If you're just at Chapter 1, then you probably won't like the point-blank shots that are to come. Then again, who gives a crap? I got a few people telling me omg this isn't like paintball at all and to them I say yes, it's not, and it was never the point. Do you think this would be as much fun if it was all safety first and shit? It's a cartoon world! Anything can happen! This is the without a doubt the last place you want to go to for realism. It's all about ponies, paintball, cartoon violence, and shoot'em up action
It's a fiction.
Thanks for the feedback though!
3650685
Check your mature filter, if it's off, then other stories may have taken it's place. It's still in the box now.
The description of this fic totally reminds me of that one episode in Heaven's Lost Property, just saying.
3652160 Good point! I hadn't considered that
I edited the story for such mistakes 
3652160
I always thought people called it a sniper just to shorten it, like calling a washing machine a "washer"
MUST READ!
MUST READ NOW!
3651997
It's like Rayman Oranges, except with ponies!
If I were there, I'd be the asshole booby trapping everything.
3655574 Is that supposed to rhyme?
Quite a fun break from all the serious that I've been reading.
Liked and faved, eager to see more shennanigans!
3655233 Ever read The Most Dangerous Game?
3663435
Yes...
3663435 What's that?
3663450
3665382 Reminded me (bit far-fetched reference) When He said he would run around booby trapping everything. LINK (If you care)
3690119 cdn.motinetwork.net/demotivationalposters.net/image/demotivational-poster/0904/i-see-what-you-did-there-lost-john-locke-demotivational-poster-1238833730.jpg
DUN DUN DUNNNNN
This is gonna be AWESOME.
I found a problem in this chapter,
I checked the rules that where mentioned in chapter three:
So Twilight can use magic, she just can't teleport.
3702583 True that. I corrected my silliness accordingly.
...The fuck is going on here...?
TWO Big Macs...?
The foals having their own war...
And Discord still hasn't made a visible play...
~Skeeter The Lurker
Im getting an Animal Farm and a Lord of the Flies feel from the fillies war.
If i would play this game..
I'd just take somepony's gun from a gun stash, and then just fly and shoot everypony whit dual shots while i just fly around the forest being all like "YOU MAD?" after shooting both ponies in a epic duel.
4349078 Well, if I were in the game, I would find my secret hideout, go underground, and pop out in my sweet paintball hovercraft that's virtually unstoppable. Except for a hidden "hit me I'm here" spot, but you're going to have to find it!