Derpy, Pinkie Pie, Sweetie Belle, Chrysalis. Myself, summed up in four MLP characters. I'm a deeply flawed individual, but if you can get past that, I'm sure we can be the best of friends.
In an attempt to better myself as a writer, I have undertaken the task of writing a series of (relatively) self-contained oneshot stories, about whatever and whoever I want. (Thus, the sheer number of story tags.) The catch?
They're all limited to 750-850ish words (by FIMfiction's count).
This will be a grand journey. Come along with me?
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Love that pic
1510401 Oh, you were talking about this one!
I like this story I guess.....//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Vinyl_sad.png
Thumbs up, because I know perfectly well what you're doing with this idea.
My main suggestion is that you need to condense it more. Not word count, but in scope. I feel like these two so far just sorta meander, like I'm not sure from the writing what it's about or where it's going. Almost as if I watched three minutes of a tv show from before the actors knew they were supposed to be filming.
This scene in specific is better. And your writing is really good in technical aspects, so keep working on the scenewriting!
I'll be faving this so I know when you update, and I'll be glad to offer more advice as you go!
Hey, this is a fun idea! I'd love to submit a story, or at least try something like this myself. But this is your story! Hahaha.
This is great dude, and hey, maybe the 30 min challenges can give you some ideas for this
applejack.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/135110283268.gif
Well done, sir. Well done.
*flops, dies laughing* GLORIOUS
1529384 That's a wonderful gif... It captures the happy-sad so perfectly.
I feel your horror Luna I am afraid of common statues
Oh Luna.
Lol. That was adorable.
IMO, I'd resist the urge to give these scenes too much denouement at the end. It's only a scene, so you don't have to wrap everything up all neatly. In fact, sometimes it's even better to leave the audience with questions, things they have to fill in themselves. It's a good way to get the audience more involved.
1545387
I see your point. I'll try that with the next scene I write. Thanks for the advice!
Yay
1532006 Just... Don't... Blink...
So... is this AU or crossover... Lol. Well, I won't speak to the musical taste presented here. Regardless of how his music rubs ya, you have to admit, the guy knows how to produce a hella tight track.
My two critiques:
1) When you're actually breaking the action with more force than a semicolon, you use an em dash (—), not a regular hyphen (-). It's Alt+0151 for the keypad shortcut.
2) I think you broke for funny details a bit too often. If you had just picked one instance, it would have had a lot more impact.
1647485
I actually really like Skrillex. I just took a lot of the common critiques that people have about him and presented them here.
1569894
hah. Weeping Angel reference.
1652215 example of skrillex
2979741
my favorite song from him is his remix of Nero's "Promises"
hay guardian, whatever you do, do not make a story about Lyra discovering her plushie, and its use!
-Lightning