• Member Since 17th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 6th, 2014

Xenonic


Xenonic lives in the north of england and so has never seen the sun. She would put that she's a girl but there are no girls on the internet so she won't.

E

Luna decides to write a letter to her teacher about what she has learned.




Picture by CuteSkitty on deviantart
15/2/13 - I'm afraid this story has been cancelled, because I only ever intended it to be a chapter long, anyway. I have taken the second chapter down. Sorry!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 20 )

This is a vignette that raises several interesting questions, not the least of which is: Who would an immortal cosmic being's teacher be? Truth be told, I'm a little disappointed the story didn't answer that.

This shows an awful lot of promise for something written in a single unedited pass, though. Especially for a first-time author. It definitely makes me curious to see what you could do when you get more ambitious, plan a longer story out, and polish it to a high shine. Keep up the good work!

1510495 Thank you! Now you mention it, maybe I should extend this a little to answer that question.:twilightsmile: It would make a nice chapter, perhaps?

Another chapter would be nice.

With a little more effort than you put in here, you could probably take this site by storm. I should know, as author's just as new as a second ago usually end up the next big thing. Good luck in your future endeavors.

Adieu~

A nice little Luna introspective. It could do with a little fleshing out, maybe talking about warnings the teacher gave Luna about jealousy or maybe apologising for his/her death (for it strikes me that Nightmare Moon would not welcome a teacher's counsel). Overall, though, I think it is in-character for Luna and might represent part of her attempts to heal herself of the shadows of her mistake-filled past.

1510505 It would, I think. Tracking the story to see how you develop it. :twilightsmile:

1510585>>1510539>>1510528 Thank you for the feedback. I've just started work on the next Chapter, and it should be up within a couple of days, provided that school does not interfere.:twilightsmile:

Nice work on this, Ironically that about you and hoping school wont interfere in writing, school is actually HELPING me write my most recent fic, the writers club. any way what i want to say is im looking forward to that next chapter:twilightsmile:.

I need to get away from badfics, so let's start here...after class, anyway. I shall grant thee the first FULL review I've done in a while. Will it be a skit or just a report? I dunno.

I enjoyed it and would like to see more from you this seems like it could be a hit.

well, for an incomplete work, it pretty much fulfilled the promise given in the description.
I recomend you a better description, pretty much all sounds dull in a few words, but, you know, if you are a good seller you can be a good writer.

About the story, you know I cant say anything about grammar, but it was good, you know, nothing fancy, nothing complicated. the final scene of the letter traveling was cool.

now her teacher.. thats scary, i kinda pictured Dream from the sandman or Cthulhu, both cases are scary :rainbowderp: luckily in the next chapters we could be watching who is... it.

or another gods from her classroom, that could be cool:
"hey Thor!"
"hey, Luna! wazzup"
i dunno :twilightsmile:

1524532>>1511125>>1522146>>1511167
Would you please mind telling me what you would like to see in the next chapter? I'm finding myself a little stuck, as I only intended this to be a one-shot and I don't really know what to put next.

1527951

I know you're gonna hate me for saying this, but it's up to you. Though the audience does want to enjoy your story, the plotline falls to you for creation.

Well, you and your editors. So surprise us.

1527970 What editors would those be? As I stated on the top of Chapter 1, I wrote this without the help of editors.
...But could you pleeeease just give me a liiiiiiiiitle hint? Just a small one?:fluttercry:

1527985

Sadly, I cannot. If the original plan for this was a one-shot, then you've written yourself into a corner.

Put some time into thinking of what else would be done. If Luna were doing this, it wouldn't be a one-time thing. Perhaps follow her in the story about learning new things?

She HAS been out of the loop for a thousand years, after all. Tons of stuff that's changed over the millenium.

1527951
well, you could pretty well just set the complete tag in there. I thought you has started to work on the next chapter.

Well, what i want in the next chapter? watching it's slice of life i guess a Nemesis from resident evil 3 running after everypony with the Benny Hill theme song in the palace won't do.

No wait, i'll write that myself :twilightsmile:

I'm working on it.

I'm afraid this story has been cancelled, because I only ever intended it to be a chapter long, anyway. I have taken the second chapter down.

Wouldn't that make it Complete?

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