Chapter 19
"Discord!" Twilight shouted at the snazzy dressing draconequus. "What's going on! Why have you brought me here!"
"Well, first of all, I just want to say how much I appreciate your work and the work you've inspired in others. I mean, Fluttershy of all ponies chucking a pie right into the face of Ms. prim pony princess herself? Priceless! It was even banana cream! I tell you, if death was a thing I could experience, I could do so happily now. It was so perfect that Celestia is convinced that I was the one behind it. Sure, that probably means she's throwing a fit around my house as we speak, but still, totally worth it."
Twilight responded with a death glare that went completely ignored.
"And though most of the credit goes to Fluttershy herself, I appreciate your role in it. You've really earned those wings and crown in my book."
"What?! What does that even mean?!"
"Oh right, I forgot you mortals have temporal tunnel vision and can only see one timeline at once. How frightfully boring."
"Enough games, Discord! Why am I here and where's Rainbow Da—ACK!"
A coughing fit shook Twilight from head to tail, bringing each of her many injuries back to her full attention. By this point, she had only been kept upright by adrenaline and the lingering magic from the boosting spell she had cast on herself. With the last of that spell finally ending, her legs buckled and she collapsed to the section of void that served as a floor, unable to move any further.
"Ych! Has anyone told you that you look like a five course meal six hours later?"
Twilight didn't respond from her broken heap.
"Well, you're no use to me like this. Let's see if we can't do something about that look, girl."
Discord stepped forward and sprouted ten extra arms, bearing a wide assortment of combs, hairspray, makeup brushes, eyelash curlers, and a variety of other implements, including what might have been a power drill. The arms whipped into a frenzy, running Twilight's face and mane through a gauntlet of styles and fashions as a panel of Discords voiced their disapproval of each one.
The lead Discord paused to examine his latest attempt. Twilight's mane was done up in a tight librarian bun as she glared from behind a pair of glasses, unable to move any other part of her broken body. Discord let out a ponderous "hmm..." before flinging the glasses off and undoing the bun to let her mane fall freely, restoring her exactly to her default look.
"Bravo!"
"You've done it again!"
"A masterpiece!"
Thunderous cheers and applause rang out from the panel as Discord took a bow.
"Well, now that that's taken care of..."
He gave a casual snap and the panel of Discord clones vanished, along with all of Twilight's injuries. Now the picture of health, Twilight climbed to her hooves with the same begrudging gratitude that accompanied any instance of Discord offering help in the most infuriating and roundabout method possible.
"If you're through having fun, are you finally going to tell me why I'm here?"
"Oh, Twilight," Discord replied with a devious chuckle, "you should know by now that I'm never through having fun. But to answer your question, your presence is required to solve a friendship problem."
"Oh?" Skepticism dripped from Twilight's raised eyebrow, quickly running down her cheek and pooling on the ground. Twilight stepped back and wiped her face clean with magic, sending Discord an unamused glare.
"Yes. As you know, Fluttershy's birthday is coming up soon."
"That was four months ago."
"Well sorry if not all of us are great with orderly calendars and linear time. It's not so easy to keep track of the small details when you're used to the large view. Speaking of which, that little stunt you pulled back there twice might have had a few teensy ripple effects back through the timeline."
"What?"
"Nothing major, though I'm still cracked up about the fact that the number between six and eight is now pronounced 'seven'. To hear classrooms of fillies and colts repeating such filth, completely unaware! It's a real kick."
"You're making this up," Twilight accused in a flat matter of fact tone.
"Am I? And I suppose I'm also making up that your big sister, Shining Armor, is now your big brother?"
"Shining's always been my brother."
"He's always been your brother, now."
Twilight set aside the almost certain (but not entirely 100%) likelihood that Discord was simply messing with her, and attempted to get the conversation back on track.
"So what about Fluttershy's birthday?"
"Right! Given Fluttershy's wonderful, if unintentional gift to me of a picturesque pie pitching performance, I really need to step up my gift giving game. I need something that will really impress. Something that will knock socks onto and back off of her. The perfect gift to show just how much I've truly come to value our friendship."
"That's...actually kind of sweet. I'm...proud of you?"
"Don't get all sappy on me now, Sparkle." He gave a quick snap, and one of Twilight's forelegs that had been starting to melt into maple syrup returned to its usual flesh and bone.
"So you need my advice to help you pick out the perfect gift for Fluttershy?"
"Advice? No, not at all. I've already got the perfect gift picked out. It was quite easy once I got into my thinking tree." A miniature Discord caricature made out of smoke sat in a biologically improbably shaped tree as a visual aid. "I just thought to myself, what does Fluttershy want more than anything else in the world? And then..." A lightbulb came sailing out of nowhere and collided with the caricature's head, knocking it out of the tree. "Eureka! The answer was obvious."
"That's wonderful news." Twilight's approving smile gradually morphed into puzzlement. "But if you've already figured it out and don't need my advice...why am I here?"
Discord chuckled, a mischievous glint shining in his eyes. "Oh, Twilight. And here I thought you were the clever one. Don't tell me all those blows to the head have dulled your wits."
He snapped his fingers once again and an elegant oversized red bow appeared on Twilight's head.
A beat of silence passed as Twilight stared at the shiny ribbon cascading down her sides. Her eyes suddenly snapped wide and her horn lit up as she prepared to defend herself, but Discord was already behind her before her pupils had even finished expanding, a single talon resting on the tip of her horn. Her fate had been sealed since the moment she arrived.
A wave of something swept through her body from horn to hooves. She leaped away in shock, firing a concussive blast that caused Discord to explode into a cloud of glitter that swirled and reformed into the same smirking draconequus a moment later, utterly unfazed.
"What did you do?!"
Discord picked idly at one of his claws. "Oh, nothing you should have any objections to."
Twilight ran a diagnostic spell over herself. Nothing seemed physically out of place. She ran through a mental checklist.
My name is Twilight Sparkle. Daughter of Night Light and Twilight Velvet. Element bearer of magic. Former pupil to Princess Celestia. Most recent address, The Golden Oaks Library in Ponyville. Madly in love with Rainbow Dash Fluttershy. I like books, vanilla ice-cream, and red balloons, and dislike quesadillas.
Everything seemed to check out. She performed a few quick tests of bodily coordination and basic spell casting. No problems there. Her coat still had the same lavender hue it always had. But then what exactly had Discord done to her? What had they been talking about immediately prior? Something about Fluttershy?
Twilight's heart melted at the thought of the sweet, wonderful pegasus. The sound of her brash and cocky gentle and compassionate voice and the sight of that wild and unkempt long and elegant mane and tail never failed to lift her spirits. She couldn't wait to be wrapped in those strong gentle cyan yellow wings once again.
Something in the back of her mind didn't add up. They had been apart for so long. Why was that? She had been on the run, a fugitive. Why? She'd done something. Something terrible but necessary. At least she believed it was. She had fought diamond dogs, changelings, royal guards, and the princesses themselves because she was fighting for something that was worth it. It had to be Fluttershy, right?
No. That didn't make any sense. Why would the princesses want to keep her apart from Fluttershy? She was in trouble for casting a spell...a LOVE spell! But she didn't need a spell to win over Fluttershy. Fluttershy had come to her. They had dated a while and...and then she had broken it off! WHY?!
Another pony?
It seemed preposterous. Who could possibly lure her away from Fluttershy? But nothing else fit the facts. She had sacrificed everything in pursuit of this other pony, committed treason multiple times over, but she couldn't fix the name or image in her mind.
Who cares! We have a second chance to make things right with Fluttershy! We can't let that opportunity slip away!
No. Something's wrong. It's all wrong!
Twilight bore down on her memories.
The sweet smell and taste of chocolate chip waffles. A joyous breakfast with Rainbow Dash Fluttershy. No! That was wrong! They had never had chocolate chip waffles together.
The wind whipping through her mane as Rainbow Dash Fluttershy carried her through a series of aerial stunts. Wrong! Fluttershy was no stunt flyer! In fact, she was quite self-conscious about her weak flying skills!
The whirlwind of passion as they made their way up to her bedroom for the first time and the triumphant joy she had felt afterward as she lay there next to her sleeping lover who started to mumble in her sleep.
"mmm...Twilight...I love you."
"I love you too, Dash Fluttershy."
NO! She and Fluttershy had never gotten that far! She remembered rose petals on bed sheets. Blue eyes overflowing with tears. Fluttershy sobbing into her shoulder. Guilt and self-recrimination for breaking a sweet mare's heart and for letting the relationship drag on as long as it had. Bitter acknowledgement that she was alone once again and could go back to miserably pining for Dash in solitude.
Wait, what was that? The name had been clear for a moment before it slipped from her mental grasp. Something about pining and misery.
Tears rolling down her face as she woke up crying again. How long was 'moving on' supposed to take? How long until she stopped dreaming about Dash? Another night of alternate screaming and sobbing into a pillow.
Burning jealousy coursing through her veins as she was forced once again to witness another public display of affection by Ponyville's greatest couple. Applejack didn't deserve a mare like Rainbow Dash! Oh, how she'd love to wring that pony's neck until her head popped off! Anger shifting to shame as she considered how that would hurt Dash, and what she would think of her if she knew she harbored such thoughts.
A table crashing into a wall and the world spinning as she held Dash's polite rejection letter. The rain whipping in her face as she ran through the storm. Wet mud sticking to her belly as she peered over the edge into the sharp rocks and swirling waters below. The scalding heat of the bath and the burning in her lungs as she held her breath beneath the water, trying to clear her mind of any thoughts of Dash, and wishing she had the force of will to just not come up again.
Fear and anxiety twisting at her guts as she examined the goggles left on her doorstep. How much did they know? Was her secret safe? Was everything she worked for going to be ripped away? Creeping paranoia. She wouldn't let them. She'd start stockpiling supplies, contingencies, safe houses. She'd come too far to let anyone take Rainbow Dash away from her.
Rage. Fury. Dash had been taken. A diamond dog choked and sputtered while she levitated him by the throat. "Where is she?!". An empty patient room, debris and trashed medical equipment littering the floor. A bed with restraints, marked by a small patch of blood. If they had hurt her in any way... Dash looking at her with shock and fear before taking off and flying away. Dash hated her. There was nothing left but to drown the world in blood and fire before that empty darkness swallowed everything.
The pleasant memories may have been corrupted into a twisted mockery, but the truth remained in the painful ones. Down in the misery and heartache, the jealousy and rage, the desperate selfish greed and the self-pitying self-hatred. Down in that choking black sea of pain. That was where her true love lay. She focused on it.
No. Please. I don't want to go back there. We worked so hard to get out. Can't we just be happy for once?
Love wasn't about happiness. It wasn't romantic moonlit strolls, or shared laughter, or quiet evenings together by the fire. It wasn't beautiful and pure. It was ugly and pathological. Fundamentally selfish in nature. A desperate, unyielding need to have and be had, to be as big a part of another's world as they were in yours. It might be mistaken for altruism on the surface, but it was naked greed at its core, and talk of "self-less love" was a pretty drapery of lies and self-delusion hung over the ugly truth.
Love was a sickness, a compulsion that would drive the afflicted to any lengths to win the affection of their target. Sink to any depths. Commit unspeakable crimes. As long as it made the agony cease. The relationship and the happiness and the growing old together? That was the treatment. Love was the disease. Love was suffering, and she loved Rainbow Dash.
You have to understand how crazy that sounds, right? How fundamentally fucked up that is? You're not well Twilight.
I'm the sane one here! I'm the one keeping us grounded in our actual identity while you try to drag us off into some fantasy!
It doesn't have to be a fantasy. We can easily make it a reality. I'm trying to take us down the path to somewhere actually approaching healthy. Somewhere that doesn't involve being miserable all the time. Do you even remember what that's like?
I might if all my non-miserable memories weren't tainted with lies! The only thing I can trust is that we love Rainbow Dash. I'm not going to let us throw that away!
The bulk of your collective misery montage is about us trying get over Rainbow Dash! That was the goal, remember! But you never believed in it, did you? Your vain desire to see yourself as some tragic leading figure in the story of your own mind caused you to hold back. You never put yourself out there. You held us back from ever becoming truly invested in the one relationship that fell into our lap, ultimately sabotaging it so you could go back to your masochistic, narcissistic, self-indulgent wallowing! I'm sick of you dragging us down because of your gluttonous appetite for suffering!
Yeah, I'm a big downer, and an insufferable bitch. I'm also the one who cares about facts, logic, and objective reality, so stuff it!
You actually think you're the RATIONAL half? The fucking voice of REASON? Hah! You're the one that swings wildly between impulses to self-harm, fits of violent rage, and megalomania! You're a pathology!
I'm the only one who seems to be at all interested in fighting off the influence of foreign magic attempting to rewrite our brain! Something you seem to be oddly unconcerned with!
You unbelievable hypocrite! Now you're a champion for the sanctity of the inviolable mind? A little utilitarian rewiring is good enough for Rainbow Dash, but not good enough for us? With her, it's just 'a slight adjustment of preferences, leaving the underlying personality intact'. For us it's something to be resisted to the death! Never mind that we know we'd be happier that way. But we both know this isn't why you're doing this. You're not making a stand based on some philosophical principle about mental autonomy. You're just doing what you always do. Making excuses to justify clinging to your own pain because you're still too terrified to let it go.
It's who we are!
No it isn't! That's just part of the twisted coping mechanism you invented when we were stuck and it didn't seem like there was any way out. You started making the pain out to be a part of our identity, but it's not. It is NOT what defines us! Just because the pain goes away, doesn't mean we do too. We existed before it did, and we'll still be here when it is gone. We'll still be us on the other side.
It's...It's too late for me. I...I can't...
You CAN! Please. If there's any part of you left that still cares about our well being, then please, PLEASE trust me on this. There's still time to come out of the darkness. It's easier than you think. Just take my hoof and let me help us.
I...maybe I...NO! Dash! Priority 1! Dash above everything! Want her! Need her! Must have her no matter the cost!
No! Stop it! You were so close!
Anything that would keep us apart is my enemy, an obstacle to be crushed. Whether external barrier or internal doubt. You are an obstacle to be crushed! A heretical treason to be struck down and silenced!
No! You're not shutting me up this time! I won't let you blow this for us! I'll drag you kicking and screaming into the light if I have to!
Discord, completely oblivious to the civil war raging inside of Twilight's skull, had meanwhile been occupied flitting about and rearranging bits of void to make the place more presentable.
"Oh, I simply can't wait! Calendars be damned!"
There was a snap and a flash, then a beautiful, melodious sound reached Twilight's ears.
"Wha–? Where am I ? Discord?"
"Happy It'snotyourbirthdaybutscrewitIwantedtogetyouagiftanyway Day!'
"Huh?"
Twilight's head whipped towards the source of that beautiful sound. "Fluttershy!" She set off bounding towards the pegasus like an overexcited puppy. "Oh, I'm so glad you're here!"
"Twilight? Twilight! Are you okay? I saw you fighting with Celestia and you looked—"
"I'm fine. Better than fine now that you're here. In fact I'm great! Great! Grrrrrraaaagh!" Twilight let out a low growl as she raised her right foreleg and bit down hard, focusing on the pain and the taste of her own blood in her mouth.
"Twilight! Are you sure you're alright? Is something wrong? Can I help?"
Oh, sweet and wonderful Fluttershy. An endless wellspring of compassion, ever looking out for others. Twilight's heart soared as she refocused her sights on the gorgeous mare whose pure kindness inspired others to be their best selves.
"No! Nothing's wrong. It's just nerves. You see, there's something I wanted to tell you, and I'm just not sure how. I've recently realized that...I...I...I...I...!" Twilight pressed a hoof into her forehead, pulling it off to reapply it again over and over with increasing force as she mumbled to herself. "Throbbing in my head. Blood in my eyes. Was a fool to go into the forest alone. Refuse to die here. Burn it all down!"
"Twlight?! Twilight, what's wrong? Please stop hurting yourself!" Fluttershy reached out to grab Twilight's hoof, which only caused her to retreat in alarm.
"Don't touch me!" Fluttershy recoiled in shock as Twilight resumed her muttering. "Bile in my mouth. Haggard eyes in the bathroom mirror of the restaurant. This can't continue."
"Discord, do something! Help her!"
A snap echoed through the void and Twilight froze in place.
"Not to worry, I've still got the warranty. Just give me a moment to call in some professional help." Discord quickly summoned a rotary phone, which floated in the empty space, connected to nothing. "Hello? Yes, I'll be needing a technician sent right away....mhmm...yes...yes...absolutely not!...yes...parakeets, obviously...yes. Alright, see you soon."
A moment later a door materialized, a knock echoing from the other side.
"Come in!" Discord called out.
The door swung open to reveal another Discord, this one wearing a hard hat and a belt full of various tools.
"So you've got yourself some technical issues huh? Yeah, those Twilight models are really prone to breakdowns. How long have you had it?"
"About a minute and a half."
"Well, let's just take a peek under the hood here."
The repair Discord flipped up the top of the still frozen Twilight's head and raised a magnifying glass to his eye. Two tiny Twilights fought within, each kicking, biting, and pulling at the other's mane.
"Break it up, you two." He lifted a spray bottle from his belt and gave them both a few good spritzes. They each arched their backs, gave a few angry growls and hisses, and scampered off, letting him resume his inspection. "Hmm...I think I'm starting to see the problem here."
"Yes?" the other Discord asked.
"It seems whoever set this was a complete idiot. You've got the new pattern just thrown down haphazardly over the old one. As far as I can tell, not even an attempt at integration with the recent event log, and there's bleedback corrupting core memory files. No wonder the thing split straight down the middle. I've never seen such sloppy work! Amateur hour over here!"
"Yes, yes. We get the point," an increasingly cross Discord replied. "Just fix it already."
"Hang on, the boys will wanna see this." He snapped and six more identical Discords appeared. "Check this out, fellas."
"What the—what am I even looking at here?"
"Did they really try to use an auto-replace?"
"Was this put together by a blind infant?"
"Where's my camera? This is going to be my new holiday card."
"It's so incompetent, it's almost...beautiful."
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"AHEM!" Seven draconequus heads turned to face Discord. "Can you fix it or not?"
"Hmm? Oh, yeah. No problem."
The first repair Discord snapped his fingers and slammed the top of Twilight's head shut, then disappeared with the rest of his crew.
"Ugh. I can't stand those guys," Discord muttered under his breath.
Utterly bewildered and not even attempting to make sense of whatever the Discords had been talking about, Fluttershy stared anxiously at the still frozen Twilight.
"Discord! Is she okay or not?!"
"Let's find out."
Discord tapped the end of Twilight's horn. There was a whirring sound like a machine starting up, and then she started moving again. She took a few staggered steps, rubbing her head until the brief disorientation passed.
"Twilight?"
"F-Fluttershy? Is that you?"
"It's me, Twilight. I'm here and—eep!" Fluttershy let out a startled squeak as Twilight suddenly lunged forward and threw her forelegs around her in a hug.
"Run away with me."
"W–WHAT?!"
"Run away with me," Twilight repeated as if it were the simplest thing in the world. "I love you, I wanna be with you, and I think we should run off together."
"T–Twilight, you're not m–making any sense!" Fluttershy stuttered as her face grew bright red. "What about Rainbow Dash? I thought you loved her!"
Twilight winced. "It's true, I was crazy about her for a long time. But look where that got everypony! I'm pretty sure anypony would agree that the healthiest thing for both of us would be to stay as far apart from each other as possible. At least for the foreseeable future. She'll get the professional help and care she needs to get better, Applejack and the rest of our friends will stick by her side through it all, and us? We'll get each other. It'll all work out. Trust me."
"I...but when did you...? Discord! What have you done?!"
The horror in the accusation flying straight over his head, the preening draconequus responded.
"Just gave you what you wanted most in the world. I know, I know, best gift giver ever. You deserve it though."
"Discord! You can't...you can't just...!"
"No, as it turns out, I actually CAN. It wasn't even that hard. I mean, maybe the first draft didn't work out so well, but that was just a warm up."
"No, I mean you—eek!"
Fluttershy was interrupted by Twilight squeezing tighter and starting to place kisses on the base of her neck.
"Please, Fluttershy. Give me another chance. I know I don't deserve it. I know I've done horrible things, but...I know I can be a better pony as long as I'm with you." Fluttershy could feel tears in her coat as Twilight pressed into her shoulder. "All those things I did, I was just angry and hurt and lost and afraid, and so tired of it all. But with you? With you I feel like I can finally rest. All that fear and pain and anger just drifts away in the breeze.
"Twilight...I...you..."
It was getting harder and harder to think clearly, but there was no way Fluttershy could stand for this. Was there? No. NO! It was sick. It was wrong. She had to shut it down this instant. So why was she having such difficulty saying a simple word like 'stop'?
"And I know I've got no right asking this after the way I hurt you before, and I'm so, so sorry about that. I never gave us a fair shot. I went into that relationship already waiting for it to fall apart. Of everything I've done, that's my biggest regret. That I never really gave you the chance you deserved. I promise that I'll do everything I can to make it up to you if you'll let me."
Fluttershy inhaled sharply in an attempt to bolster her resolve, but with the proximity of Twilight's head, she only succeeded in catching the scent of Twilight's mane. Painful, precious memories rushed to the surface of her mind, bringing an aching throb to her heart. Would it really be so bad if..? No, she couldn't.
But why not? She spent so much time and energy trying to make others happy, but what about her? Wasn't it time Fluttershy took what Fluttershy wanted for once? Especially when it was given to her on a silver platter like this? She had suffered enough already. As Discord had said, she deserved this.
Sure, the princesses probably wouldn't just let Twilight off the hook that easily, but she had an omnipotent chaos god in her corner. They would learn to deal. Everypony would learn to deal. She could have the ending she always wanted. She could have any ending she wanted. If she wanted her friends to be happy, they would be happy. If she wanted a crystal castle, she would have a crystal castle. If she wanted the world, she could have that too.
But she didn't want the world. All she wanted at this moment were Twilight's lips on hers, and they were right there. All she had to do was take them. It would be so easy. Just a kiss and then—
"NO!"
She pushed Twilight away as tears welled up in her eyes.
"STOP IT DISCORD! STOP! SHUT IT ALL DOWN!"
Discord's face fell from its default smug expression to a rare state of actual worry. This wasn't how things were supposed to go.
"What's wrong, Fluttershy? I thought—"
"I KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT, BUT I DON'T WANT IT! UNDO IT! UNDO IT NOW!"
"Alright!" Taken aback and bewildered by Fluttershy's sudden distress, he gave another snap and Twilight fell over, head in hooves as she tried to process the emotional whiplash. "Done!"
He looked down at Fluttershy, who had started shaking involuntarily as tears ran down her face.
"I don't understand. I thought that was what you wanted?"
"I know! I know you meant well. I know there are certain things you still don't understand. Things about right and wrong I still haven't taught you yet, but I just...CAN'T talk to you right now. I can't be HERE right now. Send me back!"
Another snap sounded and Fluttershy vanished.
***
"Fluttershy?" Applejack called out to the surrounding wood. Where had that girl gone off to? She had turned away for a second and when she looked back, it was like the pegasus had vanished into thin air. "Fluttershy!"
As if summoned, the mare appeared in a bright flash directly in front of her. Applejack didn't have time to utter a word before Fluttershy was suddenly sobbing into her chest, shaking uncontrollably.
***
Back in the void, Discord was brooding. The whole affair had turned into a major bust. He had been confused by the tears at first, until he had remembered that sometimes ponies cried when they were happy. Except apparently that wasn't the case this time. Apparently giving a pony exactly what they wanted made them miserable? Maybe that's why they invented gift cards. Mortals were so...vexing. He turned back to Twilight.
"What do you think? Maybe a nice card and some artisanal flowers?"
"RAAAAAAHHH!"
Twilight simply charged him with an inarticulate scream and tried to blow him to pieces. Again. Her contributions to the conversation were growing a bit repetitive for his taste.
"Well I don't hear you coming up with any bright ideas."
"GRRAAAAAHH!"
"Well if you're going to take that tone, I don't think i have anything else to say to you."
A final snap rang out and Twilight vanished, leaving Discord to retire to his thinking tree in peace.
***
Twilight reappeared in the late afternoon sunlight, sitting in the bottom of a dry creek bed and holding her head in her hooves as she tried to settle the storm within. A cavalcade of emotions, no, that was too orderly. A brawling bar fight of emotions rocked through her mind, none of them particularly pleasant. She wasn't quite sure what it was that bothered her most.
There was the outrage at the violation of having her feelings for Dash stripped away, along with a heavy sense of shame for letting it happen. That somehow the purity of her devotion was diminished by the lapse, and she was somehow complicit for failing to stop it. She had made a heroic last stand in her mind and then it had simply been swept aside like nothing with a snap. Even though she knew better, she had still somehow thought of her love for Dash as something more profound than a crude collection of neural synapses, so vulnerable to manipulation. One would think that she of all ponies would have come to terms with that humbling facet of reality a long time ago, but it still hurt to be smacked in the face with the truth of it.
What bothered her even more was the fact that, at the time, she had meant every word she had said to Fluttershy. She wasn't a puppet or a passenger in her own head, with no control over her actions. That was her. That was all her. She had loved Fluttershy just as passionately as she loved Dash now. Her rejection had hurt. Even now, returned to her senses, the memory of it still stung and part of her grieved even as she reminded herself that Dash was the one she was in love with. Forget the fact that mere moment ago, she had been gleefully willing to throw Dash away.
But that wasn't the worst part. She would recover from all that. The shame would pass and she'd convince herself that it wasn't her fault. That there wasn't anything she could have done against such a spell. That thinking she could have changed the outcome if only she had fought harder was just egotistical. There was nothing anypony could have done.
What would stay with her forever was the fact that Fluttershy had been offered the chance to have it all, an end to the heartache, a happy ending, and without even the need to dirty her hooves in the slightest, and she had turned it down. She had absolute power at her disposal, the pony of her dreams throwing herself at her, and she had just walked away. That was what gnawed at her mind the worst. What she would toss and turn over years from now, trying to tell herself it didn't matter and it didn't bother her.
Fluttershy was a good pony and just plain better than her.
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I was tense the entire time I read this chapter! While I am bothered by the idea that Love, in this world, really is not hard to make and destroy, it was still an excellent chapter!
*After reading the chapter*
Now, if any of this was written due to the influence of the Troll/Jerkass from the comments (17th Chapter mostly, and whom I sincerely wish ill) that's a disappointment.
Otherwise it's just kinda meh. Though I never liked Discord as a character to say the least (barely tolerated him at best), so I'm very heavily biased in regards to him (Which includes any significant use of him in any way shape or form in any fanfic)
Loved this chapter. Twi, when Discord is teaching you a lesson on ethics and morality you have done wrong. All the hypocritical stuff you've been pulling right back at you. Wish Discord had been doing it on purpose rather than being his values-failure self, would make Bookhorse's fall all the more complete.
Saving up for Bronycon?
10 points for Kant! (?)
8679334
Okay... after reading through all 104 comments on chapter 17, my very first thoughts are for everyone who is arguing to take a giant STFU pill, and just enjoy the damn story! But such thoughts are not nice, so I digress.
My next thoughts were that everyone needs to stop with demanding that the author do this or do that with the story...
WHAT IN THE FUCKING ACTUAL FUCK, PEOPLE!?!?
Seriously, let the author write his story, as the story demands, and not in the way that you feel it should be written.
Now... about this chapter...
I like this new plot twist! There can be no predicting what the DeLancie God will do next, but I am pretty certain I'm gonna enjoy what's coming up.
And was that a flash of regret Twilight was feeling at the end? Could it be that Discord finally opened Twilight's eyes to how wrong she is? (I don't know the answer, so I eagerly await the answers in upcoming chapters.)
Twilight is quite the hypercrite
8679599
First of all, if you also believe that it's wrong to tell an author how he should write his own story - than it's not me you should argue with. And that "discussion" has ended quite a long ago. *sigh* It's just that the latest chapter can easily be seen as influenced by it (regardless of the real situation) and that's rather frustrating on its own.
Second, while Twilight's actions obviously aren't blameless, it's REALLY FAR OFF from what Discord was doing. Even if Discord may honestly fail to see the difference (and/or significance thereof). And she obviously feels guilt for her actions at the end, I mean it's literally written there...
Two chapters in two days?
Yippie yay yey.
8679685
Though I do understand how it really could look that way, I promise that this chapter wasn't the result of any comments, but was in fact sitting around as a (admittedly very rough) mental outline for quite a while. I've already got a road map to where things are eventually going, and the comment section won't be affecting it. Although sometimes, as in this chapter, as I actually fill in and write, it almost slips off rails. I have little models of all the characters running in my head as I try to work out the details of their response to a situation, and there was so much inner turmoil this time around that I nearly veered into an alternate ending right here.
8679678
"Hypercrite" is now my new favorite word.
8679474
Nah, just addicted to eating and not being homeless. My previous gig writing material for a web based education company is drying up (they're moving away from text based material) and I need to start hunting down new freelance work or else consider getting a "real job" that would actually require me to keep regular hours like an adult.
On the plus side, if I sold out to the man and became a petrophysicist (now that the oil market has sufficiently recovered) I would go from broke to flush with enough cash to buy those giant plushies and the really insane stuff that pops up in those charity auctions. Assuming I can clear the time to go.
Essentially me.
8680204
Make the time to go! Bronycon NEEDS ALL THE WRITERS!!!
8680316
I'm also kind of on the wrong coast for that.
8680361
Pen Stroke is from Cali... he made BC
you know you wanna go... you can here all the fans calling your name...
If you're looking to profit from pony writing Patreon (Or whatever crowdfund you want) is a better choice than commissions.
8682721
Yeah, but then I'd have to figure out what to do for rewards and such.
Thing is Twilight is wrong. RD when stripped of her compulsion, still wanted her. It should be obvious to Twilight that in her case it was not the same.
8683060
It's not that what Twilight did to Dash and what Discord did to Twilight are exactly the same (though if not for her pre-existing love for Dash being back in place, she might very well still want Fluttershy based on the same reason Dash still wants Twilight), so much as the fact that Fluttershy was able to reject such an offer. Twilight still tells herself that, even though what she did was wrong, anypony would do the same if they were suffering the way she was, and that the only difference in her case was that she had the power and magical aptitude to follow through and change her situation. That under the duress of unrequited love, nopony could resist that temptation.
Fluttershy has now provided a solid counterexample (even if it came really close).
8683102
That addresses a different issue. Let's say back when AJ and RD were in a solid relationship and Twilight was looking in from the outside if Celestia were to have come to Twilight with RD in tow and said, I saw you were having relationship issues and I decided to brainwash her into loving you. Here's your gift. I don't think she would have taken it very well. This is not to say she would have necessarily refused, but she wouldn't have felt the same about it as her doing it herself especially since she was still happy with AJ and it would have hurt AJ.
8683245
Well, Twilight and Dash aren't exactly 'together' in the same way. It would be more like after they broke up...but Dash is still pining...and AJ is...conflicted and considering getting back together? And a strong case could be argued that it would be much better for AJ to keep them apart? Okay, so it's not really a perfect comparison. Discord's stunt certainly rates worse than what Twilight did, but there's a enough similarity to unnerve Twilight, particularly since she's almost certain she would have made a different choice if in Fluttershy's position.
8683060
RD when stripped of the magical compulsion but not yet purged of the neurochemical addiction induced by that compulsion, you mean.
8679334
Sincerely wish ill?
Over some stupid fanfiction about multi-colored ponies? No amount of personal investment in this story is worth that kind of thinking. Especially with people who just strongly disagree with you. You don't have to like them, but to wish them harm over something like this is not healthy behavior at all.
8686830
*Shrugs* I'll give you a short answer, cause anything else would be too long and bothersome.
I'm not a nice person. Actually I generally identify myself as 'evil' due to usually being indifferent to people suffering or even feeling happy about it if I believe they deserved it (either by doing stupid things/neglecting safety or being a--s) and having very little empathy to people in general (as long as I don't know them personally and/or have a reason to care)
Honestly wishing ill to someone is a simple routine to me that doesn't require any investment to the story by itself. Sure, I wouldn't write any of my comments if I wouldn't be invested in the story, but that's because writing is generally a chore to me and takes quite a bit of my time even for the simple comment.
Have a good day.
Finally caught up since you started posting again, had to re-read the first story and this one.
I love the whole discussion on moral here.
I also happen to be one of the few who thinks that Twilight's initial spell was a minor thing, considering the information we have, eg Dash not being revolted by the Idea of loving Twilight and Twilight not stealing her away from someone else.
It's gonna be loads of fun seeing how you eventually wrap this up!
But in all honesty, this is a refreshing chapter, good to finally see someone throwing Twilight's actions right back in her face.
8679441
How do you know he wasn't? After all, he tends to be more of a trickster mentor...
8687141
watch the edge kiddo.
8724573
*shrugs* Just being honest, especially with myself. And if someone can't handle or doesn't like the difference between their expectations and the real people of the real world - its just too bad.
8724773
It ain't about "not being able to handle it" son. I'm older than you, and I can attest, what you are, is something most people drop around their late teens.
8726548
*Sighs*
First, I'm 32, so unless You're 50+ at least, dropping "condescending adult speaking to the kid which is supposedly trying to be special" attitude would be only appropriate.
Also, I care neither about conformity nor about "trying EDGE to feel/appear SPECIAL, hurr durr". And If there are some actual similarities in worldviews between me and some children, or even if it appears to be so - than what? I should drastically change my views in shame or something, cause some random people think that would be right? Not gonna happen.
Why isn't there a sex tag?
8925670
Weird oversight? Standards for what got sex tags was different back in the day when this was started? I'll go add one now.
Edit: Yep, there are a whole lot more content tags to choose from than when this story was first started, which says something about how long I've left this unfinished. I think back then, there was ONLY sex and gore tags available, and the former only ever got used for porn.
8934356
I never used to see sex tags, it was always just marked as mature. Gore has always existed, though.
What are neuroethics? According to my spellcheck, it isn't a real word.
9205410
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroethics
WTF man? Twas almost a year. Where is new chapters?!
9378477
One year minus two days.
Luckily, I have achieved immortality and your petty mortal concerns are beneath me. I will be sure to tell your descendants how the story ends.
9409360
There... fixed it for you (no need for gratitude).
9409385
wew lad