Chapter 12
Twilight pressed herself up against the side of the hill, dry blades of grass prickling against her coat. With the utmost caution, she inched her way up to peer over the top. Hoofington stretched out below her, firefly lamps just beginning to flicker to life as the sun dipped below the horizon.
Finally.
Tree cover had run out a while back, and hopping between what small cover she could find in the open plains had proved a painfully slow process. Teleportation had helped immensely, but as she grew closer to the outskirts of the city, she had also grown more and more concerned about the possibility of somepony spotting a telltale purple flash.
She stifled a yawn as she checked her map once again. Without Chrysalis' inhibitor around her horn to shield her from Luna, a proper night's sleep was a danger she couldn't risk. She had considered just moving at night and sleeping during the day when Luna would be most likely to be asleep herself, but with how determined the princess seemed to track her down, who knew what kind of hours she was keeping? Twilight had instead limited herself to a series of small catnaps, spread throughout the day at random intervals and no longer than fifteen minutes each. Hopefully that wouldn't be enough time for Luna to detect her. In addition to cradling an alarm clock while she dozed, she had attacked her text on lucid dreaming with renewed vigor. Though now capable of casting a couple spells in her dreams, the bulk of her focus had been on snapping herself awake should Luna find her and start making a trace.
Glancing up from her map, she spotted one of the landmarks she had been looking for. Two towering peaks were visible across the other side of the city.
Which would put me right about...here. Meaning it should be somewhere over...
Twilight turned her gaze to a rough and broken escarpment that ran up against a bulging mound of earth. A thicket of dense, thorny, and all around uninviting vegetation grew atop the small plateau and appeared to run down the backside of the slope. There was nothing inherently suspicious about the plants, except maybe for the fact that they seemed to be thriving just a bit too much compared to the surrounding area, as if somepony had ordered the weather pegasi to give that section a bit more water. Anything within, say, a secret entrance to an underground bunker, would be conveniently obscured from aerial view by anypony who wasn't directly on top of it, while casual hikers would steer clear unless they wanted a coat full of briars.
Twilight carefully approached and began to push her way through the hostile flora. No doubt there was an easier path available if she were willing to circle around and search for it, there had to be a way to move supplies and personnel in and out after all, but that was almost a guaranteed way to run across the guards. With no better options, she simply had to grit her teeth and press on, doing her best not to make too much noise.
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
Soon the brush began to thin noticeably. She spotted a narrow corridor that could actually be called a path winding off towards the outside. Turning the other direction, she followed the last remaining distance to a small cleared area around the base of the slope, still mostly hidden from above by the vegetation growing higher up. Recessed into the bottom of the slope was an extremely sturdy looking (and no doubt highly enchanted) door. It was the kind of door one might expect to find on the vault of the Equestrian National Bank, except it held a treasure more precious than all the bits in Equestria.
Hold on, Dash.
Making a mental note of the location, Twilight teleported back outside the thicket. As much as every fiber of her being screamed for her to run in and rescue Rainbow Dash this instant, the small voice of reason reminded her that there were still a few pressing logistical issues to resolve first. The big one was sleep. Not only was it advisable to be properly rested before attempting this insane rescue, but even if she succeeded (no, she couldn't think like that, she WOULD succeed) but even then, how was she going to keep dodging Luna forever? Dash too. Luna could just as easily track them down through Rainbow Dash's dreams. Unless she could find a way to permanently shield them both, their freedom would last only as long as they could forgo sleep.
Think Twilight! Come on. There's gotta be a spell or something for this. You're so close!
I just don't know enough about dream walking magic. I need to learn more. I need a book.
But books on dream walking are incredibly rare. Only a few ponies ever managed to master it, and even fewer wrote anything down. What few there are would probably be in the restricted section of the Canterlot archives.
Well I can't just stroll into the castle archives and ask to check out a book. Going anywhere near the castle is absolutely insane!
Ah, but they'd never expect that.
With good reason. Because it's crazy.
Crazy enough to work?
No. Just the regular kind.
Falling onto her back with an exasperated sigh, Twilight glanced once again at the town of Hoofington. The sun had nearly finished its descent, casting long shadows across the buildings. Twilight's eye caught on a tattered wagon on the near edge of the town. It certainly looked like it had seen better days. Something about the aesthetic seemed oddly familiar however.
Twilight slowly crept down the darkened hillside as the nagging sense of familiarity grew stronger. At the base of the slope, a powder blue unicorn was struggling to remove a broken wheel from the front axle.
"Ingrates. Such uncultured rubes do not deserve to bask in the untempered glory of Trixie's performances if they can't even look past a little peeled paint or torn canvas. Such superficialities wouldn't even be an issue if the bank ponies weren't the blindest of all. They wouldn't know a good investment if it bit them on the flank. Once Trixie has recovered from this temporary setback, they will beg Trixie to perform for them, and Trixie will relish their tears of remorse."
Trixie? Huh. Small world I guess.
Twilight turned to sneak away before she got herself spotted, but she stopped as a stray thought crossed her mind. The thought quickly formed into an idea. An idea she might once have dismissed as crazy if recent events hadn't forced her to drastically raise her threshold on such matters. She stayed concealed as she sculpted the idea into something that more closely resembled a plan.
Making little headway on her repairs, Trixie briefly ceased her struggle with the stubborn wheel to give a heavy sigh, shoulders slumping slightly before perking back up with a determined gleam in her eye. "Trottingham! The ponies there are sure to appreciate genius when they see it. Trixie will make it big, pull in huge crowds, become financially solvent, and never dine on pine cones again!" She turned and gave a sharp kick against the side of the wagon. "Just as soon as this infernal wheel surrenders to Trixie's might!"
"It might help if you removed the locking pin first."
"AHHH!" Despite the biological implausibility of jumping out of one's own skin, Trixie appeared to give a sincere effort as she whirled to face the mysterious new voice. Her eyes continued to grow wider as startlement gave way to shock at identifying the intruder.
"S-SPARKLE?!"
"Hi Trixie." Twilight smiled back as if they had been neighbors all their life and were simply passing in the street.
"W-What? How? What are you doing here!? You can't be here! Why are you here?! What do you want?!"
"While I'd love to say I just dropped by to catch up, I actually kinda need a favor."
Shock took a temporary backseat to smug amusement. "Ha! And why exactly would The Great and Powerful Trixie help the most wanted fugitive in Equestria? Trixie shouldn't even be speaking with you!"
"A good question. Two reasons. Reason number one..." Twilight reached into her saddlebag and pulled out a heavy, jingling pouch, throwing it to the ground at Trixie's hooves. The loose drawstring revealed a very respectable amount of bits and gems, a hefty chunk of what Twilight had recovered from the Diamond Dogs.
Trixie tried not to drool openly as she imagined what she could do with all those bits before forcing herself to look away. "S-So what? The bounty on you makes that look like spare change from the couch cushions. What's to stop me from turning you in instead?"
"Well, ME for starters." Twilight set her horn to a faint glow. "If you think you can take me, you're free to try, but...let's just say that's highly inadvisable."
"N-Noted," Trixie replied, turning a shade paler. "And the second reason?"
"You still owe me for letting you walk out of Ponyville after your little evil overlord incident instead of turning you over to Canterlot for what was technically an act of war against the crown. Especially since the last time a unicorn tried to use dark magic to conquer and enslave a local population, my friends and I blew him up. So yeah, you do kinda owe me one."
Trixie winced at the uncomfortable reminder of events she much preferred stayed buried. "T-The Great and Compassionate Trixie takes pity on your lowly situation, and will offer her assistance." The pouch full of bits levitated off the ground in a light blue aura. "For a minor consultation fee of course."
"Of course." Twilight nodded with a smile.
"So...er-what exactly is Trixie assisting with?"
"I need a book."
"Trixie does not carry an extensive collection, but would be happy to loan-" Twilight waved a hoof.
"No. I need a specific book. From Canterlot."
"Canterlot?" Trixie cast a quick glance at her broken wagon. "Such a trip might take longer than Trixie is currently provisioned for."
"Doesn't matter, you can leave all that here. I'll take care of getting us there and back. Play your part well, and you'll be back here counting bits by tomorrow evening. I need to make some preparations tonight, so we'll leave in the morning. I'll fill you in on what you need to know when it's all set up."
The front end of the wagon rose off the ground, surrounded in a magenta glow as fragments of the broken wheel began to fuse back together. The dwelling now level once again, Twilight made straight for the entrance.
"So...what should Trixie do for now?"
Twilight looked over her shoulder with a note of hopeful optimism. "Do you have any coffee?"
***
"Okay. Testing. Can you hear me Trixie?" Twilight adjusted the small crystal in her ear.
"Yes. And Trixie would like it noted that she is not being paid nearly enough for this."
"First of all, yes you are. Second, relax Trixie, you'll be fine. I know the castle like the back of my hoof and I'm here to talk you through every step."
Twilight took another sip of her coffee and turned another page of the newspaper she was using to hide her face while sitting on the park bench pretending to read. Trixie's temporary stage dye had stained her mane and tail a dark solid black, while her coat had been coerced into a deep navy blue. She wore one of Trixie's spare capes (turned inside out to hide the counterproductive eye-catching star pattern) which hid her cutie mark from sight as long as she maintained this sitting position. Trixie had offered a cloak, but nothing said 'suspicious' and 'conspicuously trying to be inconspicuous' like walking around in a full body cloak.
"Okay, now there should be a garbage can coming up on your left. Put one in there."
Trixie dutifully strode up to the bin. Channeling all her skill in stagecraft to appear nothing more than a common visitor making perfectly routine use of a waste receptacle, she retrieved a small crystal from her pouch and tossed it in. A small chorus of cheers and applause rose in her mind.
"It is done" she whispered to the voice underneath her hat.
"Great. Now take the next right and you should find a bathroom after two more doors. Find somewhere in one of the stalls to place another one. Then take the stairs up to the next floor."
Trixie continued her tour of the castle under Twilight's directions, visiting every area open to the general public. The collection of small crystals found their way into potted plants, behind the drapes on window sills, kicked under the door of supply closets, and even stuck under the occasional bench or table with gum. Finally, her circuitous path took her to the public section of the massive Canterlot library.
"Okay. Nothing to worry about. If anypony asks, you're working on a term paper for history of magical theory. That should be pretty common this time of year." Indeed, there were at least a dozen stressed out unicorns flipping through pages and frantically scrawling notes onto parchment, or quietly debating which of the university professors was the biggest hardflank. They reeked of coffee and desperation. "Alright. Now history should be the third stack on your right. Pick something from the middle, browse through it for a few minutes, take a few notes, then slip a gem in the spine and put it back on the shelf."
"What kind of notes?" Trixie whispered once she determined nopony was within earshot.
"It doesn't matter. Just look like you're actually doing research. And make sure to put the book back exactly where you found it."
"Wh-why? What happens if I don't?"
"Because it's common courtesy, and if you don't, then you're a despicable pony and will earn the wrath of all librarians until the end of time."
Trixie continued to follow her directions, finding a book in each wing of the library and slipping a gem into the spine. Nopony took any notice of her, but that didn't do anything to loosen the tension in her stomach.
"Almost done. You should have one crystal left. The slightly larger one with the unaligned purple X on it."
Trixie felt around in the bag. "Right."
"Okay, now pick up a book, pretend to be reading it, and make your way towards the door to the restricted section. It should be all the way in the back."
"Wait. You said Trixie only had to go to areas open to the public. No risk of being caught anywhere off limits."
"Don't worry, you don't actually have to go inside. Just get close to the door."
"How close?"
"As close as you can. At least three meters. Once you're close enough, twist it so the X is aligned, place it, then get out of there. You'll have six minutes to make a calm and orderly exit from the castle."
"...It...It's not a bomb, is it?"
"What?! NO!" Twlight clamped a hoof over her mouth, remembering that she was still in public before she continued in a sharp whisper. "No it's not a bomb! Do you think I would bomb a library?!"
"Trixie would not know, since you refused to tell Trixie any details of this plan."
"Well no, it's not a bomb. Nopony is going to get hurt. If you want to stand right next to it, you can. But unless you want to spend the next week being interrogated by guards, I suggest you make use of the time delay I programmed in specifically for your benefit. Now get going before somepony spots either of us mumbling to ourselves."
After taking a deep breath, Trixie grabbed a bestiary of magical creatures and began her idle walk to the imposing gates at the back of the library. She took a seat at the nearest bench she could find, about 6 meters from the gate, continuing to act as though she were lost deep in reading. Reaching into her bag to pull out a quill with which to jot down an interesting fact, she snatched up the last crystal, gave it a sharp twist, and dropped it to the floor beneath her seat with a magician's practiced sleight of hoof. A quick kick sent the unremarkable piece of debris sliding the rest of the distance across the floor to rest against the back wall, of little concern to anypony except perhaps the janitorial staff.
"It's in place."
"Good job. Now just leave."
Trying desperately not to measure the seconds in her head by the rapid beating of her heart, Trixie rose from her seat, returned her book, gave a polite nod of thanks to the librarian behind the desk, and walked calmly but briskly out of the library. She continued her pace out into the hallways, keeping her eyes locked on the exit, and tamping down on the voice that insisted something was going to go horribly wrong, that she was walking too slow or too fast. Finally, she passed through the outer gate and out into the city. She nearly jumped when a voice spoke in her ear.
"Alright, I see you. Go get a drink and relax. I'll meet you on the second hill outside the south gate to the city in two hours and we'll head home. See you then."
Trixie breathed a sigh of relief and kept walking into the city. She wondered briefly how much time she had had left, how narrow her escape had been. She got her answer about two minutes later when a pair of guards flew past her at top speed. Turning to look behind her, she saw a multitude of armored ponies converging on the castle.
***
"And that, your majesty, is the reason why this new tariff on hoof polish is absolutely vital to the continued survival of-"
Sooo bored.
Celestia gave a quick check on the sun's position.
Seriously? Has he really been droning on for twenty minutes? I don't think I saw him take a breath. How is that possible?
She gave a suitably sympathetic nod as the pony in question seemed to be in the middle of some kind of impassioned flourish.
What if ponies had gills? Then they'd walk around with little aquarium collars around their necks and could talk and breathe at the same time. They could even eat and breathe at the same time without choking.
"Which brings me to point two of five."
WHAT?! Arrrgh! Faust's feathers! I'm not going to make it. I'm going to die of boredom. Twenty minutes ago I wasn't even sure if I COULD be killed, but this pony is going to find a way. Where's a monster attack when you need it? A swarm of cockatrices or-
Celestia bolted upright as she sensed something trip one of the silent alarms. Somepony was attempting to access the restricted section of the library using Twilight's old passcode.
"I'm sorry, but something urgent has come up. We'll have to finish this another time. Guards! With me!" The pair of guards that normally occupied the throne room snapped to her sides in an instant.
With a flash of golden magic, Celestia and her guards disappeared from the throne room and reappeared in the main stacks of the library. She was impressed by the speed with which more guards were already pouring through the entrance. The entire force had been briefed on what a trip to that alarm meant, and the alert had been spread instantly by crystal wave to every guard in the city. She hardly had time to blink before Luna appeared beside her with her own pair of personal guards. Both sisters blanketed the area with their own redundant interdiction fields, ensuring that they would be the only beings capable of teleportation. That finished, they began their search of the room, which lasted the entirety of two seconds.
Twilight Sparkle stood with her back to the wall in a defensive crouch, horn glowing, and wearing the unmistakable panicked expression of a plan fallen utterly to pieces. Her chest rapidly rose and fell with her shallow breathing, bordering on hyperventilation, while dilated eyes rapidly scanned the room for any source of escape.
"And so we meet once again Twilight Sparkle." Luna flared her wings and fixed her target with an imperious glare. "There is no escape for you here. I suggest you follow the prudent course of action and surrender."
"Twilight, please. I want to help. Let me help you!" Celestia wasn't sure exactly what kind of help she could actually offer at this point, but that did nothing to diminish the sincerity of the sentiment.
Their words fell on deaf ears as Twilight ignored them in favor of continuing to desperately search the room with her eyes. Before either of them could take any further action, there was a blinding purple flash and Twilight was gone.
WHAT?! BUT THAT'S-!
"IMPOSSIBLE!" Luna bellowed, snatching the word from Celestia's lips.
There was no way Twilight was able to push through both of their barriers. She hadn't even felt any pressure. No indication that anything was even trying to breach the field. It was as if Twilight had simply gone around and completely ignored it.
"Your highness!" She turned her attention to one of the guards at her side. "I'm getting reports of Twilight Sparkle sighted in the second floor cafeteria!"
A brief flash from the two sisters and the bookshelves of the library were replaced by the long tables of the cafeteria. Twilight stood atop a table in the center of the room, eyes still darting back and forth in panicked desperation.
"Twilight, stop this at once. You may have found a way to teleport within these walls, but there is no way for you to leave." Celestia had no idea if that was actually true. She wasn't sure what principle was allowing Twilight to move around so freely, but she assumed it didn't let her pass through the castle exterior based on the simple fact that she hadn't done so already and escaped. "Now just come with me and-" There was another bright flash of purple and Twilight vanished once again.
*sigh* So it's going to be like that, is it? Lovely.
The captain continued to call out the reports streaming in through his earpiece. "Fourth floor observatory!"
Another flash and a change of scenery, and their target was in sight once more.
"I can do this all day Twilight. Now-"
*Flash*
"I've got a sighting in the third floor hallway. No wait, the art gallery. Fifth floor lounge. The library again?"
What are you up to Twilight?
Celestia reached out, searching for the familiar feel of Twilight's magical signature. She could sense the brief flashes as Twilight quickly jumped across the castle at random. Too quickly in fact. Some of the flashes were so close together as to be almost simultaneous.
To their collective surprise, Twilight reappeared in the same spot she had previously occupied. Luna quickly fired a beam of magic...which passed harmlessly through Twilight to leave an ugly scorch on the wall. Twilight appeared not to have noticed, wearing the same panicked expression, horn still glowing and lowered in a defensive posture.
More than a little puzzled by this, Celestia ran a quick scan and found...almost nothing. No vital signs, no heat, no mass. Twilight's magic was present, but the signal wasn't coming from her horn. It was coming from behind her, underneath a nearby display case. Celestia fired a quick jolt at the location. There was the sound of something breaking before Twilight suddenly fizzled and disappeared.
A quick scoop of the area with telekinesis revealed several fragments of a programmable spell crystal. There was a brief beat of silence accompanied by widening eyes as comprehension washed over the group. The calm was quickly replaced by a flurry of new orders to search every room in the castle.
***
"Alright, I see you. Go get a drink and relax. I'll meet you on the second hill outside the south gate to the city in two hours and we'll head home. See you then."
Twilight quickly finished the rest of her coffee and rose from the park bench. Dropping her cup neatly into the nearby trash bin, she took her newspaper with her as she trotted past a row of buildings, finally settling around the corner of an alley with a view of one very specific tower. She looked around, ready to clear the area if need be. Nothing drastic. Nothing harmful. Just a hypersonic noise barely above the range of normal pony hearing, a faint but unpleasant odor, and the air suddenly becoming just a few degrees too warm, to encourage ponies to wander somewhere else for a bit. Such efforts proved unnecessary as she discovered nopony else nearby on street level. That just left the guards perched on the tower balcony. Twilight gave a few anticipatory stretches as she kept her eyes locked on the balcony.
Any moment now.
A sudden shout rang out from within the room at the top of the tower. The distance rendered it unintelligible from Twilight's position, but the urgency was apparent. The two balcony guards spun on their hooves and raced inside, a dark blue flash from within following a moment later and signaling Twilight to move. Checking once again that the coast was clear, Twilight dropped her newspaper and charged toward the castle wall, horn charged with a spell.
The walls of the castle, while not completely impervious to magical assault, were about as resistant as one could practically get without building them out of ten layers of dragon hide. Trying to teleport past the wards would be exceedingly difficult and even success would likely result in revealing her position to the princesses like a flare at night. There was, however, nothing preventing her from manipulating whatever she wanted on this side of the walls.
As Twilight reached the castle's edge, her front hooves rose up to brace against the wall, her horn flashed, and her back hooves fell to the wall behind her as gravity snapped sideways. Her field didn't actually touch the castle, but was certainly close enough for all practical purposes. Twilight continued her sprint up the side of the castle, hoping her luck wasn't going to be terrible enough today to have somepony glance up at just this inopportune moment. Glad for all the cardio training she had put herself through in recent weeks, she closed the distance in short order and hopped up onto the balcony.
She smiled at seeing the door left open. Not wanting to be as careless in her own haste, no matter how limited her window of time, Twilight took a moment to run a quick probe on the doorway. The search turned up one extremely old fashioned security spell that might have once been impressive before it was made obsolete two centuries ago by Silent Entry's recursive stacking algorithm. Its central virtue now was probably the fact that most ponies would be unlikely to recognize something so obscure. Unless of course they were the kind of pony who actually read the optional 'for further reading' sections of their arcanocryptography textbooks.
With the door open and the one underwhelming ward now disabled, Twilight strode forward into Luna's bedroom, squashing the irrational fear that such an act could possibly get her in any more trouble than she already was. After all, sneaking into a Princess' room and rummaging through her stuff was bad, but she was pretty sure kicking one in the horn and burning half her face off (whether it regenerated or not) was a fair bit worse.
And unless you'd rather try your luck with both princesses, I suggest we get moving.
Twilight looked over the room. A large canopy bed in the shape of a crescent moon occupied the left wall. The sheets lay in tangled disarray from the occupant's hasty exit only a minute prior. The shape of a stuffed opossum could still be seen within the tangles. Searching the rest of the room revealed a spacious attached bathroom, a large armoire, a cozy looking fireplace, a towering bookcase, an impressive pony sized astrolabe, and a beautifully crafted, if somewhat cluttered, mahogany work desk. Twilight quickly made her way to the bookcase, careful to touch as little as possible.
She rapidly searched the shelves, blowing layers of dust off the spines of some of the more neglected tomes. Unfortunately, many didn't have titles printed on the spines, requiring her to pull them out by hoof to check. It would be far simpler to levitate them all out at once and quickly check them, but if the princesses started feeling for her magical signature to chase down the illusionary duplicates she had set up, a detection in one of the royal bedrooms would probably take priority. That meant magic use kept to an absolute minimum while within the castle. It also meant dragging over a chair to reach the top shelves.
Finally, she came across an ancient but otherwise nondescript book with a plain brown binding. The pages were yellowed with age and the cover was too worn and faded to make out the title. Twilight gingerly opened the book to the first page and smiled.
The Somnibus
A first edition copy. Almost certainly the first edition copy of the authoritative text on dreamwalking, co-authored by Star Swirl and Princess Luna herself. Twilight carefully tucked the book away into the small pouch strapped to her side that she had borrowed from Trixie. Aside from the fact that she didn't know if her magical signature could be read off the enchantment on her own saddlebags, the fact that they were still embroidered with her cutie mark meant they were best left back at the wagon. With her prize secure, she pulled out her own lucid dreaming text from the pouch and placed it into the slot on the shelf. Her theft would likely still be noticed before long, but at least this way there wasn't a big ugly gap in the shelf.
Pushing the chair back where she found it, she shot one last look of envy at the astrolabe before she returned to the balcony exit. A quick glance outside to check that the coast was still clear, followed by a quick run down the side of the tower, and she was vanishing into the busy streets of Canterlot once more. After stopping in a couple stores to replenish her supplies of coffee, toothpaste, and a few other basic amenities she had run low on or lost after having to abandon her old camp, she made her way to the southern exit. Once out of the city, she settled down at the meeting spot to wait for Trixie, pulled out her new book, and began studying.
***
“…198...199…200.”
Rainbow Dash finished her set of wing reps, the first stage of her early morning exercises. Some reasoned argument, a large amount of complaining, and a promise to actually keep her head still for some of the scans, had prompted a modification to her bed. After all, she would theoretically be leaving here eventually, and when that day came it would be nice if at least some part of her hadn’t withered away from muscle atrophy. It seemed the staff agreed, and after a security check to make sure she wouldn’t be able to grievously injure anypony, two slits had been added where her wings could slip through for increased range of motion. With the bed still in the way, she couldn’t quite touch her wings in front of her, but it was a vast improvement over having them bound.
She moved on to systematically clenching and relaxing the rest of the muscles in her body. Unfortunately, free range of motion for her other limbs was off the table as she had proven time and again that she would seize any opportunity to introduce a hoof to somepony’s face. Rainbow Dash guessed she had about fifteen minutes left in her morning exercises. Though there was no clock in the room, her days had fallen into a regular routine.
First she woke up early in the morning and immediately started her exercises, continuing until a nurse came in to feed her breakfast and brush her teeth. After the first few days, she had decided to let that nurse do her job with a minimal amount of hassle, as going all morning with that grimy teeth feeling wasn’t very enjoyable.
After a quick check of temperature, pulse, and blood pressure, then the battery of morning tests with the neurologists would begin. Several doctors would hover about, shining lights in her eyes, occasionally poking her with something, and positioning a vast array of whirring and clicking machinery around her head. Often they’d slip a pair of headphones over her ears and play various sounds, or flash colors and pictures in front of her eyes, or even wave a variety of smells under her nose. Then they’d look intently at the screens and start scribbling down notes. This usually took the rest of the morning.
Next came lunch. This was her favorite part of the day, and not just because the nurse always brought the latest Daring Do book to read aloud while feeding her. Lunch was almost always something hot and steaming, like a soup or stew. While the nurse levitated the spoon between the food and her patient’s mouth with automatic motions, she kept her eyes on the book. This provided Rainbow Dash with a unique opportunity. She could reach her wingtips just far enough to nudge the air currents and manipulate the rising steam with latent pegasus magic. With practice, she had learned to pull the water vapor towards her and catch it in her wings.
Some tugging at a loose stitch along the edge of where the wing slits had been cut into her bed provided a small hidden pocket to store the small cloud she had been building. She wasn’t exactly sure what she was going to do with it yet. With just a little more vapor, she might be able to squeeze a single small lightning bolt out of it, but it wasn’t clear how that would help her escape. Still, at least she’d have it on hoof if she needed it, and it was some small way to fight back.
After lunch was probably her least favorite part of the day. That was when the psychiatrists got their turn. There were two of them, a mare and a stallion. Though early sessions had involved meeting with both at the same time, it seemed they didn’t get on well with each other, being on opposite sides of some academic rift in their discipline. This led to an arrangement of alternating days, which left nopony happy as each insisted the other was wasting time at best, if not negatively impacting their progress. For all their disagreement with each other, Rainbow Dash hardly noticed a difference.
Either way, it was endless questions. Questions about her childhood, questions about her job, questions about her dream of being a wonderbolt, and of course, questions about Twilight. She was thoroughly uncooperative for any other exercises they attempted, but the urge to talk about herself and her awesome marefriend was hard to resist for long. At least until they started twisting things and trying to put the idea in her head that she didn’t actually love Twilight. Then conversation turned to either a lot of shouting on her part, or cold silence.
After a break to cool off a bit, the late afternoon and evening were filled with a variety of games. Though there was the occasional match of checkers or battle skies mixed in, it was usually a chaotic mixture of small tasks. There were puzzles and memory games, word guessing games, bluffing games, and lots of sorting things into categories. One time, they had even brought in some kind of electronic reflex game telling her to bite down on the mouth controller as quick as she could every time she saw a squiggly line appear. She was certain that most, if not all of these games were actually some kind of test from the psychologists on the team. Still, there was no way she could turn down a chance to win at something. Even if, strictly speaking, most of the tasks didn’t involve winning or losing, they almost all involved doing as much as she could within a time limit. That meant a high score to set.
Dinner was delivered by the same nurse who did lunch, which meant some more Daring Do, and about a fifty percent chance of being able to collect more steam. The nurse would stick around after dinner for some more reading and a few rounds of more traditional games. She was definitely her favorite of the staff. She’d still kick her teeth in without hesitation to escape, but it wouldn’t be personal.
After that, the day would end with a last round of checks to her vitals, after which somepony would inject something into the IV line running into her left foreleg and she would be out like a light. In the morning, she’d wake up with her coat and the sheets feeling a bit cleaner and start all over again.
The sound of the door sliding open marked the arrival of breakfast, standard fruit, muffin, and cereal fare. Rainbow Dash looked up to see a pair of nurses instead of the usual one. While one fed her, the other busied herself checking vitals. Clearly there was some kind of hurry this morning. The two had barely started to wrap up when Dr. Resonance Image came through the door and started rushing them out.
As he started assembling and activating the standard pieces of machinery, wheeling in the carts that lay against the walls when not in use, Rainbow Dash could see that he looked even more haggard than usual. Something had clearly been bothering him for the last several days. Every time she saw him, his frown grew deeper, and it was clear from the bags under his eyes that he hadn’t been sleeping well. Under different circumstances, she might have felt bad for him, but given the current situation, she relished the chance to kick him while he was down.
“Hey doc, you look like shit. What’s wrong? Did your wife leave you because you’ve been spending all your time with another mare you have strapped to a bed?”
“I’ve never been married actually,” he responded dryly as he continued to adjust the monitors. “I have also noticed that your verbal jabs seem to be getting increasingly lewd in nature. Why is that?”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Well let’s see. I’ve been separated from my super-hot marefriend for…I dunno…weeks? During which, my hooves have been unavailable for duty, so excuse me if I’m a bit tense. My coat and feathers aren’t the only things that are blue right now.”
“Apologies for your unfortunate bout of celibacy. We’ve all had to make sacrifices.”
“I’d say eat me, but that might start to sound like a genuine request, and you’d probably be shit at it anyway.”
He pressed a final button, and the last piece of machinery whirred to life with a steady hum. “Aside from sexual frustration, how are you feeling? Any different?”
“You mean have your half-baked attempts to brainwash me into not loving Twilight worked yet?”
“As we’ve been over before, there’s no ‘brainwashing’ involved w-“
“Oh sure, but when I say that, it’s all needles and being strapped to a bed.”
“I take it you DON’T feel any different then?”
“Oh gee, lemme think. No, I definitely-oh wait a minute...wait…I think I…yep, there it is! I don’t love Twilight anymore. Good job doc, you can let me out now. I’ve got a nice big hug for you.” It was clear from the unnerving grin on Rainbow Dash’s face that said hug would be primarily directed at his neck.
The doctor gave an exasperated sigh and turned back to his work, frown deepening further as he checked each of the monitors. After several minutes, another equally agitated looking doctor came in saying something about an upcoming meeting. The two held a hushed but somewhat heated looking discussion in the doorway where Rainbow Dash couldn’t overhear them.
Bored, Dash cast her eyes over the familiar equipment around her until she stumbled upon something out of place. The doctor had been in such a hurry to rush out the morning nurses that the breakfast cart had been left behind, absently pushed aside during the setup of the rest of the equipment. On its surface, just a few feet away, was a spoon. A metal spoon. An idea quickly took shape.
Rainbow Dash glanced back to the pair of doctors, still distracted by their conversation on the other side of the room where they were both frowning over a set of notes. She turned her gaze back to the spoon and stretched out a wing. Just out of reach.
Damn!
Turning an eye back to the doctors to make sure she wasn’t spotted, she carefully reached a wing into her secret hiding place and pulled out her tuft of cloud. She channeled the latent magic that let pegasi alter cloud density to form suitable building materials, shaping the small mass into a thin string with a loop on the end. Holding her breath, she used her wing to flick her cloud string at the spoon, attempting to snare the end in the loop. Applejack had once tried to teach her a few tricks with a lasso, but rope and clouds were very different material. Finally, on the fifth attempt, the vaporous loop floated gently over the spoon handle.
Yes!
Letting out her breath and holding a new one, she sent a pulse through her feathers to make the string extra solid and gave a quick tug. The spoon jerked up into the air, tumbling freely as it slipped out of the string and arced toward the floor. With lighting fast reflexes, Rainbow Dash’s wing lashed out and caught her prize just before it could hit the ground with a loud clatter.
Looking once again to the two doctors to confirm that she still hadn’t been caught, she quickly stuffed the spoon away in her hiding place. The doctors soon finished their business and came over to scribble down a few final notes from the monitors before packing everything up and leaving. Once they were gone, a nurse came back in to retrieve the forgotten tray. The spoon’s absence was either not noticed, or it was assumed to have been taken away by another nurse.
Once she was alone again, Rainbow Dash ran a wing along the underside of the bed, directly underneath where her forelegs were secured. After a few seconds, she found the familiar texture she was searching for. A large flat-head screw. It was just wide and deep enough to fit something like a butter knife (or in a pinch, a spoon handle). It was too dangerous to try anything during the day, and her nights were severely limited by chemical induced sleep, but her early morning routine was about to see a major change.
***
Dr. Resonance Image scowled once again at his notes as he made his way through the hallways.
Still no change. Nothing!
By all accounts, their first goal of stopping the malicious magic had been a resounding success. The counter spell had been finished and deployed, and a pulse of the original magic hadn’t been detected for ten days now. Even with the geometric decay they had calculated earlier, one was far overdue if the spell was still active. Aside from the tracer spell they had put in place as a calibration for the monitoring equipment, there wasn’t a single nanothaum of residual spell energy coming off the tissue.
And just as he had feared, eliminating the spell had changed absolutely nothing. Monitoring had continued in the hope of spotting some delayed effect, but the inevitable conclusion was getting harder and harder to hide from. Now he had to deliver the news nopony wanted to hear.
He paused outside the door to the conference room and took a deep breath. Tempers had been running high recently and the team was nearly at each other's throats. He wasn’t the only one who had seen where the evidence was leading. There had been murmurs, questions about what to do next and what exactly the extent of their mandate was. Speculation around the water cooler had lead to heated arguments on professional ethics, no small amount of personal insults, and at least one count of a bloodied nose.
Now there was no hiding from it any longer. He had to bring the whole sordid issue out in the open and actually address it. By the end of it, he fully expected a third to half the staff would be tendering their resignations.
He pushed open the door and stepped into the room. Nine other faces stared back at him, each looking as uncomfortable as he felt. They all knew what was coming.
"Let’s not waste any time then shall we?” He threw the binder full of notes down on the conference table. “Patient condition remains unchanged, despite no sign of foreign magic after extensive observation.”
A heavy silence filled the room as each pony looked around, wondering who would be the first to speak. Finally, a light yellow mare with thin rimmed glasses stood up. “Alright, I guess I’ll be the one to say it. We’re done. The spell is gone. Our work is over. That’s all there is to it.” Murmurs of agreement rose from her side of the table.
“Like tartarus that’s all!” a dark blue stallion shouted from the other side of the table. “We still haven’t fixed any of the damage! She’s the same as when she came in!” Angry shouts of agreement rose from his side of the table as well.
“Our job was to undo the spell, not to go rewriting a pony’s brain!”
“No, our job was to undo the effects of the spell by any means necessary. That means undoing the actual damage and restoring her to how she was. Look, we all know exactly where the problem lies. That bridge of tissue. I think we need to explore surgical options.”
“SURGICAL OPTIONS?! YOU’RE A DAMN BUTCHER!” The room exploded into a chorus of angry shouting.
“At least some of us are trying to actually TREAT the patient!”
“Are you even listening to yourself?! How is what you’re proposing any better than what was originally done to her?!”
“It’s better because it’s UNDOING what should never have been done in the first place! It’s just restoring her to how she was before! How can YOU seriously be arguing to leave her like this?!”
The shouting and accusations continued unabated for several minutes until somepony called out a sensible question.
“What does Princess Celestia have to say about this?” The room fell silent as all eyes turned to Resonance Image for an answer.
“I tried to contact her earlier today, but have so far been unable to reach her. It seems there is some kind of incident occurring at the castle at the moment. I expect a call back by the end of the day, where I expect she will defer to our expert judgement as she always has.” He paused to close his eyes and take a deep breath. “That said…it has been quite clear since day one that she started this project with the expectation of Rainbow Dash being fully restored to her prior condition. In light of this, I have to agree that we should start immediately pursuing more aggressive options.”
The shouting matches resumed for a good half-hour, but eventually it came to a vote. The matter was decided. Rainbow Dash would be prepped for surgery within the next day.
***
"And you're sure this is a good idea?"
"Honestly Applejack, he's not that bad if you just give him a chance. Also, this is our only idea at the moment. Just let me do most of the talking."
"Fine by me."
As they rounded another bend, deep in the heart of the forest, Fluttershy finally found what she had been looking for. Before them stood a massive tree, almost the size of Twilight's library. The canopy was a bright blue from the poison joke flowers blooming from every bud tip. Several more flowers had simply pushed their way straight through the bark of the trunk. Large, pink, elastic bubbles inflated and popped at random from tiny unseen holes in the bark.
"We're almost there," Fluttershy said as she approached the tree, careful to avoid the dangerous flowers. She tried to remember the proper pronunciation for the password. "Klaatu...barada...nekhugghhagh!" The rough hacking noises were a bit of a strain on her throat, but it seemed to be sufficient as a section of trunk began to slide down to reveal a hidden entrance.
"O-kay..." Applejack stared into the single empty chamber. It was a little more spacious than a closet, but not by much. "Looks like we're leaving the cart here for now.
Fluttershy nodded and waited for Applejack to get ready. "Now this part can be a bit tricky, so just try and follow my lead."
"Okay, ready."
"Alright. First, you stick your front right leg in. Good. Now take it out. Now put it back in and shake it around, followed by a full spin."
Applejack didn't speak, but there was no way her look could have said 'seriously?' any louder.
"Yes, yes. I know. This is how it works. Now repeat for front left...now back right...now back left. Okay. Now we step inside."
"Umm...nothing's happening." Applejack had expected some kind of secret elevator or trapdoor or something to activate. Instead, they were just standing inside a tree.
"Oh, it's not over yet. There's still a bit more left. Okay. Now we spin clockwise 3.14 times and counterclockwise 2.718 times." Applejack did her best to emulate Fluttershy's spinning. "Almost there. Now it's just a jump to the left, a little step to the right, put a hoof on your hip, tuck in your knees and.....we're here!"
"What? Where?"
"Right out there." Fluttershy pointed a hoof back towards the entrance they had just come through, then lowered it and made her way out. Applejack followed her as she began to protest.
"But that's just back the way we came! There's not gonna be anything there except-" Applejack stepped out into completely unfamiliar scenery.
One of the more difficult issues was determining whether or not she was still outdoors. The branches of the tree behind her reached high into the air and curved overhead, weaving tighter together until they formed a sort of thatched roof that eventually graded into plaster ceiling somehow. However, this "ceiling" stretched so high into the air in some sections, that blue sky and the occasional cloud were visible beneath it. There wasn't any sun visible, yet that didn't seem to have any effect on the illumination. The ground appeared to be a haphazard mash up of forest floor, sand, hardwood, marble, linoleum, and the odd fish tank.
Looking to her sides, the walls seemed to be...inconsistent. They changed each time she looked away and back again. They could be wood panel, brick and mortar, stucco, concrete, or paper. They could be a few yards away or miles away. Sometimes they weren't there at all, and one time she thought she could see herself from behind off in the distance. A quick glance behind her revealed that the tree they had entered (exited?) from had now vanished.
Her disoriented study of their surroundings was cut short as she bumped into Fluttershy, who had abruptly stopped. She turned her gaze forward again. There, on a throne carved out of chocolate that was engraved with infinitely recursive images of itself, sat Discord.
"Ladies! Do come in! Do come in! Take a seat."
Two plush velvet chairs materialized underneath them, followed by the sudden appearance of a table, complete with a tea set and an excessive number of doilies. Several letters of the alphabet flitted back and forth overhead on tiny white wings. Discord reached up and snatched a capital T, then proceeded to wring it like a sponge, filling both their cups with a steaming dark liquid. The dazed letter was then released to flutter back up to its colleagues.
"So wonderful of you to drop by. It's so very rare that anypony ever bothers to come round and see me." Discord took a sip from the cup grasped in his taloned hand, which was currently sprouting five extra little fingers, all fully extended.
"Well living out in the middle of nowhere and having to jump through all them hoops to find the door might have something to do with that. That is, if you ever even told anypony other than Fluttershy where it is you live in the first place."
"Hmm, yes I suppose that's true. But on the bright side, it does wonders to keep away pesky door to door salesponies. Not to mention the cheap real estate. Oh, and that reminds me," Discord pulled a tape recorder from thin air, "note to self, add literal hoops." Returning the recorder back to non-existence with a snap of his fingers, he turned back to his guests. "Now, to what do I owe the pleasure of this unexpected visit?"
Fluttershy fidgeted with her tea cup. "Well, I...I need a bit of a favor. You see, it's about-"
"Oh, hold that thought. It seems we're about to have some uninvited company."
Discord gave a quick snap of his fingers, and Fluttershy found that she couldn't move or speak. She could still see and hear everything around her, though she wasn't entirely certain how, considering the lack of eyes or ears. Her fur was gone too, now replaced by a thick layer of bark. At least her roots found ample moisture, and her leaves were soaking in plenty of the sourceless sunlight. A variety of different fruits hung from her branches, including apples, oranges, bananas, coconuts, durians, and even some grapes and strawberries. They all seemed happy, except for Applejack, who seemed to resent being a pear. Fluttershy decided to send her some more glucose through their joined vascular system.
A bright ball of white light appeared and flared out in a blinding flash. When it had faded, Princess Celestia stood in its place.
"Discord! We need to talk!"
"Why hello Celestia. Oh no, don't bother with the door or anything on my account. Just let yourself in," Discord muttered in annoyance from his throne. "Honestly, does anypony just teleport into your home unannounced to start inane conversation?"
"You. Frequently." Celestia's face was as unmoving as marble.
"Yes, but I'm not a pony am I? Checkmate." A large chess piece with Celestia's face on the top appeared and promptly exploded. "Now, what is this all about? I was kind of in the middle of something here."
"It's about Twilight. She needs to be stopped."
"Ah yes, I heard about that. You must be quite upset. I do know how much you hate it when your little pawns start deviating from all those carefully laid plans you love so much, and it seems your precious pupil and devoted disciple to all things orderly is now stirring up quite a bit of chaos for Equestria. What's wrong Celestia? Are you finding that you can't solve all your problems by putting them in or adjacent to rocks? Then again, I suppose that would be a bit difficult considering the lynchpin of your geologic justice system is currently AWOL."
Celestia's eyes narrowed. "Discord! If this turns out to be your doing...!"
"Moi? Hardly. I'm afraid I can't claim credit for this. It's just one of those naturally emergent bits of chaos that happen from time to time."
With another casual snap, he summoned a glass of bubbly green liquid, complete with a straw that twisted and looped in at least five dimensions. The unknown liquid began to turn clear as the color disappeared up the straw.
"And the fact that the elements are removed from the picture is just a happy coincidence?"
"Happy? Whatever do you mean? I'm 'reformed' remember? Quite frankly, I'm hurt, wounded even, and gravely insulted at the insinuation." Discord pulled out his beating heart, which split in half before he sewed it back together and stuck it back in his chest. "The thought that I would go behind everypony's back to set a convoluted series of events in motion just to take the elements out of commission and secure my freedom forever, why that's just ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous!" Another quick snap summoned a bag of plunder seeds, which he happily began to snack on. "Honestly, I don't even know where you would get such an idea."
Discord dropped his glass and let it fall up into the sky, while the straw disintegrated in a crackle of fireworks. Celestia continued to glare in silence.
"Oh, there's that face again. You know Twilight gives me that exact same look? Right down to the little vein above the left eye that you think I can't see beneath that cosmetic glamor spell. That suspicion that I haven't really changed at all. That I must be biding my time for the right moment to strike. Or maybe I just decided to go along with being 'good' for a laugh? You know, just to shake things up a bit? But maybe I'll change my mind again in the morning. Who can say? It's all so very unpredictable, isn't it?
"I have long since given up on trying to imagine what goes on in that head of yours. Regardless, I have a task for you. You will find Twilight at once and deliver her to Canterlot Castle."
"Hmmm. No."
"What?"
"Getting a bit hard of hearing in your old age? I said no. It's not often I get this kind of entertainment without having to create it myself. As a general rule, I like to see how these things play out on their own."
Celestia stamped a hoof, although the loud squeak released by the spongy ground undercut the intended effect. "I'm not playing around Discord! That's a-"
"Wait! Wait! Hold on a moment! Were you really about to say 'that's an order'?" Discord fell out of his chair as he burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. "AHAHAHAHAHA! OH! OH CELLY! And here I thought you didn't have a sense of humor! Giving ORDERS! To ME! AHAHAHA!"
Celestia's cold glare was quickly growing more heated. "Discord! I'm serious!"
This only caused the laughter to intensify. "AHAHAHAHAHA! NO! STOP! YOU'RE KILLING ME! I-I CAN'T BREATHE!"
Celestia waited impatiently for the fits of laughter to die down. Eventually, Discord crawled back up into his throne, breaking off a chunk of the armrest for a snack as he fought through the last aftershocks of giggling.
"As I was saying, once you have found Twilight-"
"Wow, you really are dense aren't you? Here I'll say it slowly so your little pony brain can understand. I. Don't. Take. Orders. From. You. I'm not one of your subjects and I don't work for you. End of story."
"And what of your claim of being reformed?"
"What of it? I'm friends with Fluttershy, and have decided to rein in some of my habits in the interest of preserving that friendship. None of that means I have to report to you. As it stands, I give the square root of negative one shits what you think."
A large cardboard box with the words 'Discord's Fucks' emblazoned on it materialized in the air. A moth flew out of the notably barren interior.
"Did you think that me becoming friends with one of your subjects somehow made US friends? Oh that's rich, considering you do an even poorer job of masking your open contempt than Twilight. If Fluttershy wanted something from me, I'd consider it, maybe, if I felt like it. Even then there's no guarantee because friends aren't servants, and they make requests, not demands. But for you? No, not even if there HAD been a please anywhere in there. So to summarize," a ghostly image of a teal deer flashed overhead, "I'm not subject to your authority, I'm certainly not intimidated by you, and I really don't care about your feelings. Is that clear?"
Celestia looked as if she had been slapped. Her mouth hung open as she searched for some kind of response. "I-"
"Glad we could have this talk."
With a snap of his fingers, Celestia vanished. Another snap and Fluttershy and Applejack were stumbling around as they attempted to readjust to having legs (as well as lungs and a nervous system) once again. Once she had recovered her bearings, Fluttershy fixed Discord with a slightly scolding look.
"Yes, yes, I know. I shouldn't transform ponies without asking first. Blah blah blah."
"Also, you shouldn't be so rude to Celestia. That was pretty mean."
"Oh please. She's a big pony. She can handle a few harsh words. Besides, she could use a good telling off once in a while, and there's not many besides Luna and myself to do the job. She's gotten far too used to getting everything she wants without question over the past thousand years."
"Still, I think it would be really nice if you COULD be friends one day."
"Ha! Now that would be an interesting sight. You'd certainly have your work cut out for you convincing her of that idea. But that's not what you came to me to talk about, was it?"
"Um..n-no. It wasn't..." Fluttershy's ears folded back as she studied her hoof while it pawed at the dirt. "It's...It's actually about...Twilight." She gave a small cringe of anticipation.
"Hmm, yes. That mare does seem to be a rather popular subject lately doesn't she?" Discord summoned another cup of tea which quickly began to freeze as he drank the heat from it. "I must say I do enjoy her work. I know she has no appreciation for the art of chaos, but still, credit where credit is due. The unintentional sort is just all the more lovely." The now frozen cup of tea sprouted spider legs and quickly scurried away. "So, I suppose you want some assistance in tracking her down? Have old Discord give a quick snap and poof! Twilight Sparkle all wrapped up in a nice little bow?"
"Um...s-something like that, yes. If you don't mind that is."
"Hmm...sorry, but I'll have to pass. Nothing personal, but I prefer a policy of non-interference when it comes to pony problems."
"BULLSHIT!" Both heads turned to face Applejack's accusatory glare. "Non-interference? You love causing trouble for ponies!"
"Quite right. I'll gladly cause trouble, but I'm quite averse to fixing it, particularly if it arose naturally without my involvement. At least in any kind of boring, straightforward way most ponies would appreciate. Whenever I do offer help with an issue, the ponies involved usually find they much preferred the original problem to my...creative solution."
"So you could help, but you won't because you're a huge prick who'll only get off his butt to make a big mess bigger."
"Yes, I suppose. In much the same way you could burn down a field of apple trees while frolicking about in a lacy, frilly, frou-frou dress, but would generally avoid doing so as it is completely antithetical to your nature."
"I-"
"Oh, and keep in mind in this metaphor that ponies get really pissy at you whenever you plant some new apple trees. Now if you were about to say something along the lines of 'I'd do it to help a friend in need', then congratulations. You're a better friend than Discord. You really cleared that high bar."
A trophy materialized out of the air, hovering in front of Applejack's face. Engraved across it, in a font that somehow dripped sarcasm, was written 'Congratulations!'
"I-I understand," Fluttershy responded with a sigh. "It's a bit disappointing, but I knew it was a long shot to begin with and I understand you have your own principles to stick by. Thank you for the tea, but if you really can't help us, I'm afraid we must be going." Fluttershy rose from her seat and had nearly completed her turn towards the door when a sound caught her ear.
"Weeeelll..."
Her ear gave a small twitch. "Yes?"
"It's true I have somewhat of a rule for not interfering, but you know my thoughts on rules. What good are they if you don't go breaking them once in a while, and what kind of chaos deity would I be if I didn't at least bend one into a pretzel from time to time?"
"So you'll help us?" A note of hope rose back into Fluttershy's voice.
"In a sense. I won't drop the curtain on this wonderful little show before it has played out, but that doesn't mean I can't give things a bit of a nudge in an interesting direction. Stir the pot a bit. Throw a marble or two of my own into the mix. Blow on the-"
There was an interruption in the form of a scream of agony coming from the metaphor chained to a nearby medieval rack. A quick snap and a puff of smoke granted it the sweet release of oblivion.
"Anyway, I won't do anything so anti-climactic as capturing and delivering Twilight to you or the princesses. I could however see my way to the much more fun alternative of sending you to her. How does that sound?"
"Sound's like the best deal we're gonna get so...thanks I guess."
"Yes, thank you very much Discord. That's very helpful." Discord soon found his midsection wrapped in a tight embrace of yellow hooves.
"Yes, well...that is-...quite..." he mumbled before extricating himself from the hug. "Now then, something you should know. Chaos magic can get a bit wibbly wobbly. This will certainly get you within close proximity to Twilight whenever you arrive, but at the cost of a bit of accuracy regarding time. So it might be give or a take a day or two either way from the present. If you're dying for a more detailed scientific explanation, I'm sure Twilight would love to provide a long and tedious lecture, but for now, wibbly wobbly. Au revoir!"
There was a snap and a bright flash of light.
***
Okay, that should do it.
Twilight closed the book and rubbed at her aching eyes. She had years of experience pushing off sleep for frankly unhealthy amounts of binge studying. Practice had allowed her to keep her mind absorbent to new facts, even through the haze of fatigue, and to force the words back onto the page when they insisted on wandering off, but though this may not have been the most taxing session she had ever attempted, it was certainly in the top five. She had delved deep into the secrets of the Somnibus, and it was time to put what she had read into practice.
Twilight put the book away and settled into the small observation post she had hollowed out of the thicket. It was far from the most comfortable of locations, but it did leave enough room to lie down and kept her concealed while providing a direct line of sight to the bunker. Finally ceasing her resistance, her eyes fell shut and she was out in an instant.
Twilight opened her eyes to a wide, but featureless field of grass. Through the haze in her mind, a nagging thought prompted her to look at her hoof. She stared intently at the familiar appendage, the same as it ever was. She focused harder, trying to examine the details of individual hairs and the skin beneath them. It was a strain. The hairs wanted to blur back into a collective fur, and the whole assemblage wanted to remain in the simple abstraction of 'hoof', but that wasn't right. Things were made of many smaller things. Cells, proteins, molecules, intricate nested systems all the way down to the sub-atomic level. Most of it was too small for the naked eye, but there was still plenty of complexity in the optical domain if one took a moment to look.
Twilight pushed harder against this arbitrary boundary that shouldn't exist, forcing the individual hairs to resolve themselves, and felt something break as she pushed past the resolution limit of what her subconscious could generate on its own. A wave of clarity washed over her as part of her conscious mind switched back on to pick up the slack and generate what she expected to be there. Her hoof gained and lost detail, and even cycled through several colors in response to her thoughts.
Dreaming...Right!
Now firmly in control, Twilight got to work on the scenery. She focused on recalling her memories of another one of the Everfree caves she had once visited with Fluttershy. Her surroundings blurred and swam out of focus, and when they returned, she was standing in the woods, in front of a cave with the steady sound of a stream behind her. It was peaceful, secluded, and most importantly, very far away from her real position in the waking world. She found a nice spot to settle down and take a nap, quickly finding herself within a second dream.
She couldn't say how effective this would actually be in counteracting an attempt by Luna to trace her real world position, but a delay of even just a few seconds might be crucial. Regardless, according to her reading, the dream within a dream format didn't actually make leaving her own dream to go visit others any more difficult. Exiting was just as easy ten dreams down as one, though lucidity was a bit harder to maintain within one's own dream the farther down one went. Still somewhat of a novice, she decided against pushing her luck, and stayed at two.
Twilight took a moment to practice, both casting conventional spells within her dream, and manipulating reality with her lucidity. Satisfied, she began looking for an exit. She let her eyes become unfocused, searching with the corners of her eyes for the seams in the world. She quieted her mind and opened herself, feeling for the faint pulse of magic that wasn't coming from her. Finally she found it. A thin patch in the fabric of the dream reality. She focused on it, and it formed into a door. Twilight waved a hoof and it disappeared, then waved a hoof again to bring it back. She turned around, sprinted several hundred meters, and waved a hoof to summon it again. Physical locations being meaningless in dreams, accessing the door was entirely a matter of frame of mind.
Twilight approached the door and gingerly pushed it open a crack. She peered out to see more doors. An endless hallway of doors stretching either direction and floating amidst an infinite expanse of stars. She pulled the door closed again. Now came the difficult part. If she was going to get herself and Rainbow Dash 'off the grid' so to speak, she was going to have to go out there. However, while out there, she'd be extremely easy to detect by any other dreamwalkers, namely Luna. While it was only a matter of time until Luna found her here as well, at least here she had the greatest amount of control and the best chance to wake herself up if things got too bad. Out there, she'd be close to defenseless. She had to stick to the plan. The crazy, absolutely absurd (even by recent plan standards) plan.
Waving the door away, Twilight sat down, took a deep breath, and waited for the Princess of the Night to come for her. Hooves fidgeted in anticipation. A nervous bead of sweat slid down her forehead. Soon. Any minute now. Luna would-
There was a dark blue blur of motion in Twilight's peripheral vision. She snapped sideways just in time to catch Luna leaping at her from out of nowhere.
"SURPRISE MOTHERF-!" She was quickly cut off due to exploding in response to a thought from Twilight. Bits of confetti fluttered through the air.
Okay, right. Mentally responsive environment. Gotta stop thinking so hard about that. Think about something else.
Twilight took another deep breath, and a picnic blanket unfurled itself on the grass. The surface was quickly populated by a variety of snacks, as well as a beautiful rainbow maned pegasus.
"Hey there hot stuff. How you been?"
Twilight gave a smile as she took a seat. "Missing you mostly."
"Yeah, I'd say I missed you too, but being a mental construct that doesn't exist when you're not actively thinking about me, I'm not actually around to do any missing."
"..."
"But you know, still good to see you and all."
"Right."
"So. How's the fugitive life been treating you? Daring heists and what not, sounds pretty exciting."
"A bit too exciting really. And don't you already know all this?"
"Well yeah, but I figure it's polite to ask anyway, otherwise the small talk is gonna be kinda difficult." Dream Dash slid closer and wrapped a wing around Twilight's shoulders. "Unless you were thinking of some other way to pass the time."
"What? No actually, I wasn't-"
"Really? Because I'm pretty sure the fact that I'm doing this is evidence to the contrary." Dream Dash's teeth began to nibble gently on the end of Twilight's ear.
"Ahh, okay. Point taken. But seriously, now's not a good time. I don't want Luna bursting in in the middle of that."
"Bah, she's probably used to it. Probably got a huge voyeur thing going on too. Not even time for a quickie?"
"Wow, you're really worked up aren't you?"
She gave a shrug. "Hey, I'm your subconscious. You've been running around the wilderness for weeks. Clearly you're a little pent up."
"Clearly."
"Well whatever," Dream Dash said as she casually opened a nearby basket. "I brought chocolate chip pancakes."
The two sat in silence a while as they ate. The food provided no sense of fullness, nor was the taste anything more than a memory of past flavors, but it was a pleasant diversion nonetheless.
"This...this is nice." Twilight allowed herself a brief sigh of contentment. "I promise we'll do this again for real. Just as soon as I've got you back. I'm close. So close."
"Hah! Fat chance!"
"What?"
"You know, because she probably hates you by now and wants nothing more to do with you. Oh, sorry. Did I say something you found upsetting? Better dream me up a quick mental restructuring until I'm 'fixed'. Just like in the real world when somepony says something you don't like. Like 'no' for instance."
"Wha-? No, I..."
"Oh, here's an idea. How about we get the rest of the girls involved for the next round of bedroom shenanigans? First rule of science is repeatability isn't it? And between you and me, I think Fluttershy might be down for it even without the whole mind rapey rigamarole. Some might be reluctant to share, but I'm sure you can whip up a spell for that too."
"No! I-I'm not-"
"A rapist? A liar? A monster? Rapist. Liar. Monster." Dream Dash's expression grew darker as questions morphed into statements and then into snarled accusations. "Rapist! Liar! Monster!"
The shouting suddenly stopped as Dream Dash pointed with an accusatory hoof and opened her mouth wide. A high pitched and otherworldly shrieking sound blasted forth, which sent a shiver through Twilight's bones. She stared back into rage filled eyes and flinched when they began to melt, leaving two black voids behind. The rest of Dash's face melted and dripped away in a nauseating sight until only a shrieking skull was left. Twilight blinked and the horror was carried away by the sudden impact of a high speed train.
"Glad to see you could finally make it Luna!"
A cloud of blue smoke floated nearby and coalesced into a tall midnight blue alicorn.
"I see you have been practicing lucid dreaming, though not what you hope to gain by it. Simple lucidity will do little to help you in my domain. If you think to fight me here, then you-" The rest of her warning was cut off by a large safe dropping on her from the sky. A moment later, the door swung open to reveal the princess entirely unscathed. "-are sorely mistaken."
White filaments of magic floated out from Luna's horn, disappearing at some length into thin air as they wormed through unseen barriers in the fabric of the dream. Twilight felt a familiar shiver pass over her. That sense of being watched, hunted. The drive to flee, lest something unknown and terrible happen. But now she knew what it was. Luna was starting her trace.
Dozens of pairs of scissors popped into existence and neatly snipped each thread. The icy feeling immediately subsided. Luna frowned in annoyance, and the flock of scissors turned as one to dart toward Twilight, shears thirsty for blood. Their attack was interrupted by their transformation into a gentle rain of flower petals, fluttering in the wake of the giant boulder thrown at Luna to disrupt her latest attempt to restart a trace.
"I admit I am surprised." Luna perched on the edge of a recently spawned pillar of rock. "The sensible, if ultimately futile course of action would be to flee or attempt to wake thyself. However, if you insist on challenging me, then I shall be glad to demonstrate the folly of thy actions in detail."
Luna's front hooves slammed down on the pillar, sending shock waves rippling through the ground. A rotting hoof burst through the topsoil, followed by another, and another. Hundreds of zombie ponies pulled themselves from the earth, forming an army of putrefying flesh. They turned to Twilight and charged. With a swish of her tail, Twilight summoned an army of rugged, chainsaw wielding stallions to charge into the undead ranks on her behalf.
Taking the offensive, Twilight concentrated and began to grow until she was as tall as her old tower back in Canterlot. She raised a massive hoof and slammed it down on her opponent. Blue smoke slipped out from beneath her hoof, shooting up towards her face and reforming into a regularly sized Luna who nonetheless managed to seize Twilight by the ear and hurl her through the air with ease, sending her on a collision course with a large mountain. Twilight blinked and the mountain turned to green gelatin, allowing her to pass through mostly unharmed after she decided the rules of surface tension could take a break. Once out the other side, she returned it to its rocky state and gave a quick kick to send the whole mountain flying back at Luna, followed by a meteor for good measure.
Similar exchanges continued for an impossible to determine amount of subjective time. Tsunamis crashed against volcanoes and anatomically improbable horrors bristling with teeth and claws clashed against duplicate horrors wearing uniforms emblazoned with a starburst cutie mark. Copies of Celestia had been invoked by each side in an attempted psychological jab at the other, and now fought with each other amidst the increasingly chaotic fray. As well as she had managed to hold out so far however, Twilight knew she was slowly losing ground. Luna had centuries more experience than her. If she was going to make her move, it had to be soon.
Twilight focused on clearing her mind, sweeping away the armies of constructs and the scenery along with it, leaving her and Luna standing in a featureless plain. While she visibly sagged, Luna didn't seem to be showing the slightest bit of fatigue.
"I will admit you have fought commendably for one so inexperienced. I see why my sister took you as her student. In another time I too might have taken you under my wing. But as admirable as tenacity is, there comes a time when one must acknowledge their defeat. Are you ready to surrender yet Twilight Sparkle?"
Twilight rose to her hooves and smirked, a faint glow starting around her horn. "Not yet. Though if you're feeling too tired to continue, I guess I could accept yours."
"Very well then. Have at thee!" With a powerful thrust of legs and flap of wings, Luna launched forward for a direct assault.
Now!
The glow around Twilight's horn turned a sickly dark purple as her eyes flashed green.
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I think the conundrum with Rainbow Dash could be compared to the use of necromancy. They have the ability to save her, but should they? Double mind rape is not better than one mind rape. Really, what they should have done is just not tried to change her mind, at least not overtly. They should have said they were treating her for the trauma of the horrible thing Twilight did, and not the thing itself. Have an illusory Twilight come crying to her and apologize for forcing her to love her. Rather than make Twilight a villain and treating her feelings as a disease, they should have been trying to get Rainbow to doubt her feelings on her own, and heal on her own.
OMFG!
ALL HAIL THE HOLY IMAGINARY NUMBER "i"!
6296215
Heh, I noticed it as well and we kinda "bet" whether or not someone would really notice it or just dismiss as weird ramblings... I lost XD
6296004
From their point of view, without knowing the full extent of changes they just assumed that she is basically brainwashed and incapable of not loving Twilight unless the spell is removed. That's why she had been forcefully restrained and kept there.
When they were done with the spell and realized the issue lies deeper, it was already too late. Rainbow Dash has been repeatedly told what Twilight assumingly did and what was waiting for her when she gets caught... and yet she never believed any of them.
Furthermore, it is questionable if they are capable of simulating Twilight close enough to trick her suspicious marefriend after she got used to their constant attempts at mind games and twisting her emotions. The doctors probably think that unless the bridge is removed, she would just love her no matter what, so that's why they decided to go forth with the medical procedure.
So happy to see this update! I still can't decide who I want to win here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scz2qcgZqDc
"It is done" she whispered to the voice underneath her hat."
"It is done" she whispered to the voice underneath her hat.
(Or maybe Trixie was really saying that to Twilight too? I don't know...) ^_^
And that's how Trixie discovered that her special talent was actually Ponywood-style capers and heists!
Solid stuff as ever. Had been worried about that dream-tracking. Also, forgotten all about Flutters and AJ. Good to see them again.
"They all seemed happy, except for Applejack, who seemed to resent being a pear." - thanks for the laugh.
Missing a quotation mark and the end of "Like 'no' for instance." and the start of "Oh, here's an idea."
>That cliffhanger
[Hellsing Ultimate Abridged Alucard voice:] Oh boy!
Kudos for this wonderful characterization of Discord. Few authors here can write him properly.
Nightmare Moon, eh? Betcha I'm right!
Are you leaving the commas out intentionally?
There are 2 spaces between 'to' and 'have' :[
This is missing the opening quotation mark
Discord is a pie fan, eh?
There are 3 spaces after the dot ;-;
Woo, fun with dark magic!
7102983
Fixed. Sometimes I go too heavy on the commas and then accidentally end up taking out ones that are supposed to be there in editing. Also, the spacing problems are probably from the fact that importing from Google Docs to fimfiction absolutely wrecks the formatting.
You caught the Pi, but did you catch the e?
7103164 …you did see that I said pie, not pi, right?