Fluttershy's Friends II

by the dobermans

Fluttershy's Friends II

Fluttershy’s Friends II

By the dobermans

Outside, dry, grainy snow billowed downward from unseen evening clouds, building on the dull violet sheet of frost that covered the ground. Fluttershy lay curled next to the window on her couch, quietly staring at a photograph of her friends. The cottage was silent except for the irregular inhale and exhale of the winter wind, and her own labored breathing.

“I told them. I told them again and again, and they ignored me. The poor things would have smothered if Twilight hadn’t shown up.” She lifted her head from the green pillows, looking around the room. “Angel, are you comfy? Let me know if you’re cold.”

Angel cooed in his basket, snoring softly beneath the lemon-yellow glow of a tall firefly lamp.

“All the creatures, all the poor ponies would have choked.” She turned back to the photograph, grinding her teeth as she stared.

The frame vibrated, then flew from the table onto the floor. A tree branch broke out in the storm and crashed onto the ice below.

“Oh! Oh my! I shouldn’t have done that. No, no, I shouldn’t have done that.” She climbed down from the couch and began to nudge the pieces into a pile. “Shouldn’t have done that.”

The glass had starred over Rainbow Dash’s face. The others in the photo, Twilight, Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie Pie, continued to smile, embracing each other and posing in poofy costumes. They had been joking while she had fumbled with the camera. She was no expert, after all.

“‘Hurry, Fluttershy, the clown brigade is waiting!’ I know, Twilight. I should have been quicker. I could have been, too. I should have…”

She looked out into the shifting darkness. The bare branches of the Everfree Forest whistled and clicked in a driving wind. If there were any lights lit in Ponyville, she couldn’t see them.

The animals had all gone to sleep, all snuggly in their dens. It would be months before she could visit them, to wake them up and show them the wonderful new spring sunshine. Months for her and Angel in the dry heat of the cottage. She checked the door, making sure it was shut and locked securely. The edges and bottom were cold where the warmth was escaping through the cracks, but that wasn’t anything to worry about. She sighed and looked around. The broken picture frame lay where it had fallen, next to the pile of glass. It was too bad her stare couldn’t fix it too.

The snow was piling up in layers on the windows, trapping more light in the room. It was kind of pretty, but she would have to clear them off soon. There might be a poor, freezing deer or crow out there, lost and scared and looking for something to eat. It was so difficult for animals in the winter. Angel’s brothers and sisters didn’t work together to keep themselves fed, and some of them were bound to come by. How could they find her if the windows were all blocked up?

But it was late, and no creature had visited her for hours. “It won’t hurt to take some private time, will it Angel? Mommy’s going to take a bath. Would you mind answering the door if you hear a knock, or a scratch?” Angel murmured in his sleep and turned over.

She stepped into the bathroom and closed the door. Here she couldn’t hear the wind, and there was no broken glass. She turned her humidifier on, checked the flow of steam, then opened the valve all the way. It was good to be alone, to inhale the warm vapor in the stillness. She opened the hot water faucet above her bath tub, and sprinkled in a jar of vanilla-scented bath salts. When the tub was half full, she climbed in, settling with a slow smile on her back.

Memories and images began to surface as she rocked her head from side to side, letting the surface tension tickle her ears. She was back on the mountain, outside of the snoring dragon’s cave. They had all gotten behind her and pushed as hard as they could, desperate for her to tackle the beast she had pretended to be frightened of. She could almost feel Twilight’s snout digging into her back.

She giggled. “All that work on the farm and you still couldn’t budge me an inch, Applejack. What was the matter? And did you really expect to fight a fully grown dragon with apples? And what about you Rainbow Dash, Miss Iron Pony? Not as brave or as strong as we thought, now, were we? But, but I hope none of you felt bad. No, you were probably too distracted by the dragon to notice. But maybe…”

She sank deeper into the water, keeping just her muzzle above the surface. The hiss of the humidifier faded out as her ears submerged. “Oooh. Just right,” she whispered. The warmth of the sweet water soothed her tired eyes.

So tired. Every day brimmed over with birthing and dying and feeding, sicknesses and wounds, and never-ending giving and making other creatures give when they didn’t want to, when they wanted to keep living. Yet she coaxed them, nurtured and tended them so that they loved her, because she …

“Can’t. Can’t, can’t, can’t, can’t.” Her lips curled into a bent smile. The word was the only thing she could hear beneath the water.

She rocked from side to side and began to sing.

With a swish of our tails
Away we will sail,
Look to the clouds little filly:

The whorls and the bumps
In the light of the sun
Have become a magnificent city!

In the end, when they recognized their fate, each of her creatures would look up at her. Their betrayer.

The bath had stopped being a comfort. She climbed out, shut off the humidifier, and gently toweled herself dry. She stood for a long time looking at the floor. Her mane and tail hung limp and dripped into tiny puddles.

“No, no, Fluttershy, think of your friends. Friends care about each other. Think of the times they stood up for you, or encouraged you, even if they don’t know the real you. They’re so … good to me.” She could let those tears fall.

It was chilly outside of the bathroom. “Angel bunny, is everything OK out here?” She sniveled as she walked to her closet and opened it. There were the Gala dresses, laundered and stiff from being pressed. She smiled, remembering the spices she had worked into them. “Rarity has such good ideas. She just has to work on her craft a little. Maybe I’ll take these to her some time so we can compare them with the originals. I’m sure she’ll appreciate the advice.”

Hovering above the floor, she took Twilight’s dress from the rack and draped it over her shoulders. She hugged the end of the starry cloak to her chest. “Twilight, you’re so smart and thoughtful. Why didn’t your magic save you from the cockatrice? What pony doesn’t know about their spell? That’s OK though. No pony has every type of magic. I was honored and very happy to save you.”

She returned Twilight’s dress to the rack. Next to it hung Rainbow Dash’s. Fluttershy glanced at it, then looked down as she lifted it with the utmost care. “You came back, Rainbow. You came back over the bridge and didn’t abandon us. Not even Nightmare Moon could get you to betray your friends. That really does take special bravery and …” The word almost didn’t come. “Courage?”

She closed her eyes, her mouth relaxing, opening as the cool rainbow silk slipped over her coat. Just like that, she was clasped tight in a smooth sheet of glory and color. She sobbed once, letting the purple beaded necklace slide to the base of her neck.

Trying to smile at her reflection in the mirror, she raised the golden laurels and pressed them into her thick mane.

“This isn’t fair. This isn’t fair. This isn’t fair…” She collapsed onto the floor and hid under the gown. “You were trying so hard to get away, on your little cloud. Discord, that brute, he tricked you. I wanted to let you win, but, but, Twilight, she knows just what to say.

“Why can’t any of you be better than I am? Why can’t any of you be special? Angel, are you hungry?” Angel’s nose twitched. He was lost in a dream.

Giving a soft wail, she grabbed her own Gala dress with her mouth and wrenched it from the hanger. She stepped down on the hem and pulled, crying louder as the soft green fabric began to rip. Squealing at the sound, she bit and pulled back again and again, tearing the butterfly and flower emblems and spitting the pieces to either side. A shred still hanging from her mouth, she trampled and ground what remained into the floor.

Realizing what she had done, she began shaking her head and backing away. The piece of fabric fell from her trembling lips next to the shattered picture frame.

She flung open the cottage door and galloped out into the bitter wind. Rainbow Dash’s dress whipped behind her, fraying and coming apart. After a few difficult paces she stopped and stood outside the orange-yellow light still glowing from the tops of the windows. The cutting snow began to saturate her disheveled mane.

“I’m sorry, oh no, I’m so sorry. Sorry … sorry …” Her voice broke and faded into the noise of the storm.

She faced Ponyville, divided from her by miles of darkness. The tears trailing from her sad, tired eyes froze at the corners of her mouth as she stared, enduring the empty embrace of the long winter.

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