Chapter 1
Tonight was the best night of Twilight Sparkle’s young life, of that the little unicorn was doubly, triply, sure.
The party that had engulfed Canterlot after Discord’s defeat was still raging just outside of the castle. Princess Celestia had thrown open the gates, and ponies were everywhere on the castle grounds. Somepony had even enchanted the central fountain to gush super-sweet berry punch. Last Twilight had seen, Pinkie had commandeered enough space to dunk her whole head in and was happily gorging. “To make up for the fallen chocolate clouds!” she had gushed when Rainbow Dash had tried to pull her away.
Then again, Twilight couldn’t fault her friend’s decision to give into indulgence since she was technically doing the same thing.
“Are you certain you do not want to be with your friends, Twilight?” Celestia asked.
The little unicorn looked over at her teacher and smiled. “Oh, you know how I am with parties, Princess. I’d much rather learn about the spell you used to keep the Elements of Harmony locked up. Plenty of time to ‘party hard’ tomorrow.” That was only partly a lie, Twilight rationalized. Wanting to spend time with the spell’s caster was the same thing as being interested in the spell. Probably. Besides, she had just turned a god of chaos back into stone – she was due some downtime. Pinkie had her enchanted syrup fountains and Twilight had her princess.
Celestia’s tittering was music to Twilight’s ears – a soothing, familiar music that very few ponies ever heard. “Only you could think of examining a new spell when all of Canterlot has decided the week to be one of a nonstop festival.”
“I don’t get to spend as much time in Canterlot as I used to, Princess,” Twilight reminded.
“That is an excellent point, my faithful student. It has been quite some time since we had a little lesson like this, hasn’t it?”
Only one hundred thirty-seven days, Twilight thought as they stepped into the magnificent hall of stained glass that Celestia kept the Elements of Harmony in. Without a disaster looming over her head, Twilight took the time to really examine the windows. She had to admit that they were all very beautiful. Part of her wished she had spent more time outside of the castle library as a filly. Twilight hadn’t known about this room until the princess had shown it to her. With the full moon shining in through the multicolored glass, Twilight couldn’t deny that the hallway had a certain magic to it that was distinct from the six little gems resting in her saddlebags.
When the little open alcove came into view, Twilight had to admit that she felt a little excited. It represented a first for Twilight: Celestia’s spell had failed, and Discord had managed to get past it without anypony noticing. She was anxious to discover just how the draconequus had managed to do it.
Twilight reached out with her magic to check the lingering buzz of magic in the alcove. “Do you have any theories on how Discord managed to get past the spells, Princess?”
“Several, but to be truthful I doubt that Discord needed to do anything too complicated. He always did have more raw magical power.” Her smile turned impish when Twilight’s head quickly snapped over to her. “If I didn’t know my most faithful student better, I would say that you weren’t paying close attention to my explanation on how Luna and I defeated Discord. It took both of us and the Elements of Harmony to finally imprison him.”
“It doesn’t bother you to admit that?” Twilight wondered, thunderstruck.
Celestia’s reply was firm, though softly delivered. “One should never be too upset about a truth to deny it, Twilight Sparkle, even if it is only to oneself. How much damage would our battle have caused if I had confronted him with simple force? Since he is more powerful than I, would it have made any difference?”
Did that mean giving up when things got too difficult? Twilight couldn’t possibly imagine Princess Celestia ever surrendering to anything. Discord had been very powerful, yes, but the thought that he eclipsed the princess? That was something the young mare rejected vehemently.
The gravity of the conversation was broken by a melodic chuckle from the alicorn. “Forgive me, Twilight, but the look you get on your face when you disagree with something I have said has always tickled me.”
“I don’t—!”
“You do.” Celestia was once again firm, but there was more than just a pinch of good humor in her tone. “I would not expect you to agree with me all of the time. In fact, you would not be nearly as interesting a student as you are if you did.” The longest primary feathers of her wing brushed against Twilight as Celestia moved past. The smile tugging at her lips told the unicorn that her mentor wasn’t upset with her. “Just remember the lesson, and remember that coming straight at a problem is not the best path.”
The princess gave a telekinetic tug on the alcove door as Twilight digested her lesson. Belatedly, the smaller unicorn realized that Celestia had been working a complex spell while she had been talking. Twilight was always amazed at just how natural magic came to the princess; it was like watching a savant painter with brush and canvas. She could still feel the faint buzz of power in the air even if she had missed the actual casting.
Twilight knew what to do next. She floated the six Elements of Harmony out of her saddlebags and placed them all in the ornate box Celestia kept them in. She was glad to be rid of them, truthfully; carrying around the most powerful artifacts in all of Equestria would stress out anypony.
“Did you change the enchantment any?” Twilight asked as Celestia swept the alcove closed and leaned in to lock it with her horn. “Maybe you could bewitch the entire hallway? Or enchant the stained glass to alert the guards? Or…or…” Twilight’s train of thought trailed off as she watched Princess Celestia brace her hoof on the alcove door and pull.
Something was definitely wrong. Very rarely did Twilight see her mentor ever project anything but serenity. The alicorn was huffing and grunting and her hooves were clattering on the polished marble to give herself more purchase as she tried to tug herself away from the alcove.
The beginnings of snort escaped Twilight’s lips before she could clench them shut. Celestia’s visible eye instantly swiveled over to her student in what was possibly the most ineffectual glare Twilight had ever witnessed. Bent at the neck as she was, Celestia couldn’t use her considerable height to make it any more imposing. Her expression softened, and she let out a deep, calming breath before muttering, “Discord.”
Twilight hazarded a guess. “He spell-stuck the keyhole, didn’t he?”
“A most astute observation, Twilight Sparkle.” Celestia put both hooves on the door to pull with. After a futile moment, her visible eye searched out Twilight again. “The magic is preventing me from forcing my way out of this. Perhaps you could…?”
“But Princess, applying your lesson today it would seem that non-resistance would be the best course of action. I think I should go tell Princess Luna that you’ll be holding court here now.”
Celestia groaned. “You're learning bad habits from your pink friend.”
“Oh, I’m sure it wouldn’t be too bad, Princess,” Twilight said playfully. Her magic was already weaving itself into the alcove, probing for whatever foreign spell was there. This was hardly the first prank they had discovered in the castle since Discord had been imprisoned again, though Twilight had to admit it was one of the more inspired ones. “We could move your throne here so you wouldn’t have to stand all the time and maybe have a few tour groups come in during the day to keep you company.”
“Magic Kindergarten is still an option, my dear, faithful student.”
“That threat won’t work forever, Princess,” Twilight teased. She quickly picked up the magical threads that gave away Discord’s spell embedded in the stone of the alcove door itself. It was no wonder that the princess hadn’t noticed it when she was replacing the security enchantment.
There was something odd, though. Discord’s magic wasn’t just coalescing around Celestia’s horn – it was invading it. Curiously, Twilight increased the sensitivity of her scrying spell until she could see the tiny strings of power coursing through the door. It almost looked like a magical circuit. Magical circuits powered long-term spells with multiple effects that required extra power at set intervals. Whatever spell Discord had put on the door was using Celestia’s own power as a battery!
“Princess, you need to break out of that now!” Her horn flared as she pushed at the binding spell keeping the princess stuck. Already she could feel an incredibly magical buildup from inside the alcove. The panicked unicorn started pushing on the princess’s shoulder as she hammered away at Discord’s locking spell. “It’s pulling your power into the Elements of Harmony! He’s bewitched the Elements!” Twilight shrieked, finally grasping the entirety of the situation. She could feel the enormous siphon spell Discord had built into the circuit steadily increase as more and more power flowed into it. Already the magic being moved about boggled the unicorn’s mind, and the spell had only been active for a few moments!
Celestia’s wings created a swell of air as the princess struggled to get herself free. Twilight was nearly overwhelmed by the sudden magical power the princess brought to bear on the enchantments she had just replaced on the door. Twilight’s own magic was violently reinforced with the backing of the Sun itself. A truly staggering amount of power was being siphoned away from the Solar Princess as she fought to free herself, but enough was getting into the door to make it crack and buckle under the pair's onslaught.
A sudden quake rocked the castle so hard that Twilight lost her footing and clattered to the floor. Behind her, a large piece of stained glass shook loose from its fitting and shattered on the floor. Twilight yelped and rolled away, but the damage was done – her flank was weeping blood from a large cut.
Celestia’s wing stretched out and formed a canopy over the stunned unicorn’s head. “Twilight, it's dangerous here; you need to go! I can’t keep the spell contained!” The princess was still fighting with the door, but with her attention split the cracks were forming much slower.
Twilight managed to get back on her hooves amid the shaking, but she didn’t run. Her magic lanced back into the magical lock. “No! You have to get out of there! I can get you out of this!”
The wing that had been protecting her suddenly shifted like a snake, coiling on Twilight’s chest. With a mighty shove Twilight was sent spiraling back down the hallway away from the princess. “Go! Evacuate the castle!” Celestia's voice cowed even the terrific roar of the magical energies roaring in the hall.
“No, Princess!” It was too late. Twilight was thrown back again as the entire hallway disappeared in a ray of blinding light. She crashed into one of the ornate pieces of show armor that lined the main halls and bits of metal and rock pelted her body. She fell in a heap when the magical wind stopped holding her horizontal and saw nothing but a shimmering white wall where the stained glass hallway had been.
Twilight’s magic sparked to life of its own accord, and a clear bubble of magic formed around her crumpled body, protecting her from falling stones and the stray arcs of energy now cracking at the edge of the magical wall. Heedless of the danger, the unicorn charged headlong into the barrier only to be bounced back by her own shield.
Go! Evacuate the castle! Celestia’s order rattled Twilight’s skull more than being thrown around did. Her heart was ordering her to drop the protection spell and charge again while her brain was begging her to listen to her teacher. If she went into the magical maelstrom the cold, logical part of her mind was saying that she’d never make it out.
The purple bubble shattered with a pop as Twilight stopped her spell. A large stone grazed her head as she clamored back to her feet. Blood was starting to cloud her vision, but she could see well enough to start her limp toward the expanding edge of the wall. Just a little farther now and she’d be able to help Princess Celestia again. Just a bit farther, just a bit farther.
Right before her hoof could scratch the wall it stopped, and Twilight felt herself being pushed back again. She struggled mid-air and tried to put back up her barrier.
“Twilight Sparkle, stop!”
The swirl of magic left her horn as another pony came into view. It was Princess Luna. She was flanked by a dozen unicorn royal guards, all as wide-eyed and worried as their princess. The golden stallions were already rushing into place, horns flaring, as they tried to hold back the expanding wall of light. Despite their efforts, the magical burst was growing at a quickening rate; it was now well into the main hallway.
There was a look of exceeding concern on Luna’s face as she levitated the injured unicorn over. “What happened here? Where’s Celestia?” she demanded. The worry in her voice made Twilight’s desperation reach a fever pitch.
Twilight’s hoof pointed to the wall that the royal guards were still trying to stop. “Discord set a trap in the Element alcove. It…it did something to the Princess. She’s in there somewhere!”
Luna watched the guards and the way their barrier magic interacted with the growing wall. The Princess of the Night breathed in, and Twilight could feel a fresh stream of powerful magic lace the air with power. Suddenly, there was an almighty crack! and the guards were tossed away from the wall like rag dolls.
“What is this?” Luna whispered, distressed. She stared at the strange wall for another long moment before shaking her head. “We have to evacuate the castle. I cannot sense anything beyond that wall.”
Twilight started thrashing. “You can’t just leave her!” she shouted. Luna’s magic was still holding her fast, and the smothering magical presence of the alicorn was making it impossible to focus on a coherent spell. Still, Twilight kicked and wriggled in the invisible hold.
The princess ignored her. “You!” she snapped at the nearest guard. “Spread the word to all Canterlot divisions – everyone is to evacuate Canterlot Castle immediately! If the ball grows any larger, evacuate the entire city!”
Twilight watched the guards scramble with a rising panic. They weren’t trying to push back the wave anymore! “We can’t evacuate! We have to save Princess Celestia! We can’t—!”
The unicorn’s mouth opened to argue more just as Luna’s teleportation spell fired. Suddenly, they were hundreds of feet in the air, hovering well above even the tallest of Canterlot’s towers.
There was destruction everywhere. Twilight’s open mouth flopped listlessly as she watched the castle she had grown up in shake itself apart. Already half a dozen of the proud spires lay in ruins. One of the jutting towers, the one Twilight had climbed nightly to gaze at the stars upon as a filly, broke away from the castle and tumbled down the side of the mountain.
The cause of the destruction was plain. Rising up from the hallway where the pair had just been standing was a bright orb of light. It was pushing through centuries-old stone and mortar, cracking and breaking the entire castle as it grew in size. Everything Twilight had ever known was being destroyed in that instant, and she was unable to do anything. Ponies were running or flying away from the destruction and there was nothing she could do.
Her teacher was in the middle of that and there was nothing she could do.
A ring of black fire suddenly collapsed around the expanding orb. Luna, wreathed in a pitch-black darkness, twirled her head around and around, adding rope after rope of binding to her growing spell. Unlike Celestia’s magic, Luna’s was having an effect. It wasn’t being absorbed by the siphoning spell Twilight knew to be in the center of the wave.
She looked over at Luna. A dark pillar of magic fire was blazing on the alicorn’s horn, somehow blacker than the darkest patch of the sky and yet brighter than any moonlight at the same time. It was a living, breathing fire that flared with every labored breath the princess took. Luna dipped her head at the ever-expanding wave of light and the fire leapt from her horn. Long tendrils of dark flame wrapped around the orb and constricted tight. Remarkably, impossibly, the ethereal chains were holding back the destruction. Parts of the castle were still falling, but the ball wasn’t growing any larger.
“Do not simply gawk, Twilight Sparkle! You must pull the Elements of Harmony to you!” Luna hissed through clenched teeth. Her entire body was shaking and twitching and Twilight was starting to feel the magic levitating her start to slip. The Princess of the Night was throwing everything she had into preserving what was left of the castle.
The Elements! Surely they could stop this! Twilight closed her eyes and tried to block out the sounds coming from below and the enormous power burning a few feet away. If she could only find the Element of Magic then she could possibly pull the entire Element box out of the wave.
Twilight’s senses ballooned out from her horn as she began probing through the chaos. A thousand different sources of power flickered around her, but none compared to the two raging infernos of magic that were Luna and the cataclysm. The dark alicorn’s magic was thick in the air as it pushed and contained the wave from all sides. What was down there was not, as Twilight had first thought, a mundane spell with a simple catalyst and effect – it was a magical engine that was feeding and growing on its own. The unicorn’s worst fears were confirmed when she realized that it was Celestia’s own power that made up the bulk of the power; that was also probably the reason Luna’s magic, Celestia’s magical opposite, was containing it so well.
Twilight knew there was something else feeding the spell, though. At the heart were the Elements of Harmony. She had felt them suck Celestia’s power right out of her in the stained glass hallway. The hope that Twilight had relied on a hunch that Discord’s spell had been specifically tailored for Celestia; if all went right, she could simply pluck the Elements out their alcove, breaking the magical circuit that was fueling the reaction.
A treasonous part of her brain whispered that Celestia would have already ended it herself if it were truly that simple.
That’s not true. The princess is too drained to move. Twilight had to believe that. Twilight was calmer than she had been minutes ago, and she wasn’t trying to force her way in. Instead, her magic looked for stress cracks in the ocean of magical threads destroying Canterlot. She knew from experience that it would be impossible to force her way into the reaction; instead, she felt around for small stresses in the spell that she could exploit. It was Celestia’s own magic that made the reaction work, after all. For Twilight, a unicorn that had worked magic with the princess for years, subtly breaking into one of her spells wasn’t that difficult.
Twilight filled with the warmth of her mentor as her magic finally found a suitable fracture. Behind the shell of the reaction, Twilight could feel all of the complexities of the spell as well as all of the powers within. The feel of Discord’s original spell were there, buried under the unbound fury of the sun, but something was horribly wrong. The familiar tingle of the Element of Magic was nowhere to be found. She didn’t understand. Celestia had put the Elements there!
Far above, Twilight’s body snapped back to life. “Princess, I can’t find them! They’re gone!”
Luna hadn’t fared well in the few moments Twilight had shifted focus. She was visibly struggling to maintain her spell. Her mane, which had been nearly translucent, was opaque and cloudy. Her horn glowed a deep red as well as it continued to feed wispy chains into the binding spell holding the magical reaction in check.
The princess frantically glanced over at Twilight then down at the castle. Suddenly, the crackles of magic stopped and Luna slumped forward, panting hard. The black chains that had been holding back the destruction of Canterlot faded into smoke and the magical reaction was allowed to blaze back to life.
There was a certain logic to it. Luna had held off the end long enough for most of the ponies to escape the castle grounds. Casualties wouldn’t be high now. It was safe for Luna to pull back.
Twilight’s magic roared again.
“It is too dangerous, Twilight Sparkle!” Luna shouted, but her warning fell on deaf ears. Twilight’s mind was already back down in the reaction’s center.
The knot of power was still there, and the Elements of Harmony were still missing. Twilight pushed away the impossibility of this and began searching for the one thing more important than the Elements: Princess Celestia. She was the pony that most needed her help now; the one pony that hadn’t had the chance to evacuate. The pony Twilight had left behind.
Twilight’s senses squeezed closer and closer to the heart of Discord’s spell. Here the magic was whirling like the heart of a storm. For a moment, Twilight was struck numb at the sheer complexity of what the God of Chaos had managed to create. Magical engines were still in their theoretical stage, but Discord’s was awe-inspiring in scope and power. If she hadn’t seen the infant “steps” of this engine come to life then Twilight knew she never would had made it this deep into the spell; the wisp of power that her consciousness was riding on would have been ripped apart by the magical maelstrom that erupted from the center to feed the reaction.
Going further still into the core was the most difficult thing Twilight Sparkle had ever done now that Luna had stopped holding the reaction back. Her magic was stretched hundreds of feet, winding around larger jets of magic that she still had to predict and compensate for when they shifted to feed the ever-expanding edge of the reaction. Twilight felt like her mind was fractured into dozens of pieces keeping her spell stable, and she was only creeping toward the center inch by inch. Celestia’s magic, the “fuel” for the engine, was lashing at her with greater intensity the closer she got to the knot.
And then Twilight was at the center. She had gotten there moments before with the help of Luna, but returned alone. The magics of the engine were revealed in their entirety to the unicorn. She could see Discord’s original spell, how it interacted with the door, how it accounted for magical stress and burnout…it was all there, right before Twilight’s mind.
Discord had accounted for everything – the spell was designed to burn up all of Celestia’s power, the Elements of Harmony, and as much of Equestria as possible until its power source, Princess Celestia herself, was used up.
Twilight turned away from the spell’s heart. The Elements of Harmony were already gone. What had happened to them Twilight didn’t know, but she couldn’t feel their power.
Something new was in their place, though.
It was where the Elements and her mentor had been before the destruction had started. Twilight reached out with her magic. She felt a roundish mass sitting on the ground, just beyond the heart of Discord’s spell. There was a familiarity about it, whatever it was. Her scrying spell couldn’t see physical things, only magical threads, but there was enough magic packed into the object that Twilight could clearly feel a rough round shape as if her hoofs were feeling it directly.
It was a shield! Celestia had put up a magical shield to protect herself! Twilight’s spell wrapped around the princess’s shield like a thin membrane, and she looked for a place she could get in. If Twilight could make contact then Celestia could tell her and Luna what to do.
Something reached out to Twilight. It felt like Celestia’s magic, but once it had a hold of the unicorn, the differences sharpened.
In one terrible moment, Twilight stared into the face of a sun she had never set eyes upon before. A horrible burning power raced up Twilight’s scrying spell all the way back up to her body. This was not the caring caress of her teacher’s magic; this was a magical lash that made Twilight twitch and scream in pain.
Princess Luna had never heard a scream like the one that tore its way from Twilight Sparkle's body when Discord's spell began to unravel. She held the thrashing unicorn tight in her magical embrace as the magical sphere of destruction was consumed from the inside out just before it could creep past the castle gates and into Canterlot proper. An immeasurable amount of damage had been prevented at the very last moment.
She looked over at her sister’s student. What had she done? What had Celestia done?
Luna stared at her terrified subjects standing on the edge of the destruction. “What am I going to do?” she whispered as she began floating down to the remains of her castle.
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So far so good. I can't see any glaring errors, no walls o' text. Everything seems to be in order. I'll withhold any thumbs and whatnot for more.
One problem in the description though:
interesting i'm fallowing
Whoa thats some intense stuff happening, most definetly following this.
Didnt even know it was from Fao
I don't see a Romance tag, but I just got a notice that this story was added to the Twilestia group. Odd...
Well.... that was impressive, and scary..
1534111
The Twilestia Group also has an "other" category. Maybe someone added it there?
1533991
Thank you for catching that. Fixed. I didn't send this to a beta, so...yeah. I'm lazy. How's the actual writing? I second-guessed myself the entire time I was writing this about if it read well or not.
This story is amazing! A featured boxer for sure!
I aprrove. Have an upward-facing thumb.
1534132
It read fine to me. I can be a bit lax when it comes to mechanics. So long as it's not a common error or something that is glaring, I tend to pass over it. It moves fast but that's not a bad thing here. You set the tone of Twilight and Celestia's relationship pretty early on with Twilight both admiring Celestia and yet maintaining her own personality (and though I can't see show-Twi being this relaxed around her mentor, I always found her 'fawning' to be a bit unrealistic and this is a nice pace) instead of being 'Celestia's Shadow' as i'twere.
A problem with the pacing is that Twilight is thrown out of the stained glass hallway, has a tantrum and then appears above the castle ... where a gigantic ball of energy is tearing everything apart. The tantrum feels like a few seconds but I don't get the sense the ball was growing until we exit the castle. While you explicitly say it is, it doesn't feel like it. Maybe because it grew so fast? It's not a big thing and doesn't detract; I had to read the section three times before I even picked up on it.
How is Twilight hovering? A spell? Luna still holding her? I read along and it was Luna holding her in the air by a spell but I'd make it more clear that is where Twilight starts. I was wondering how Twilight was standing on a cloud at first because that's how my mind's eye saw it.
So in the course of 4k words, I saw two small things that can be glossed over by the avid reader and only someone digging would notice. I'd say you did a pretty bang up job. Again, this is me trying to find something so these are not major issues.
1534260
Thank you very much for that. You hit every concern I had with the chapter when I was writing it. I didn't want to add more exposition because I thought the story was already too filled with "technobabble" as it was. I tried to write the ball/spell/reaction as growing faster and faster, but I suppose it was a bit too vague. I'll try and correct this in the coming chapters.
Good setup. Kinda wish there was more revealed initially.
Im liking this before even reading this. It sounds amazing.
I have always wanted to see a fanfic with corrupted Celestia, with Celestia's looks being normal or even pinklestia, with a fiery mane- except I thought red fire would fit.
But blue looks nice!
Wow.
I seriously need to figure out how to watch stories without watching the author instead. Can anyone point me in the right direction?
1534436
Near the top there should be a grey star, click it to add to favorites then move your courser away then back to show a box that says "email updates, check it.
1534436
You hit that star shape next to the ratings.
As for this story, I'll have to read it...sometime...this year...when I've got everything else sorted out...stupid prior engagements.
Oh, wait. I thought that added it to your faves. Thanks, guys!
Now that is how you start a story. Bravo, my friend, bravo. You seem to be familiar with the engagement curve it seems. I am anticipating great things from you.
1534305
That's the point of this chapter. The grand opening of any good story leaves the audience wanting more.
whooaa, this went out control really quick, it scalated fast
I like, hope you update it soon
this can work......this can work well indeed
......please update soon
Out of curiosity, was this at all inspired by the Startrek episode, 'Tomorrow is Yesterday'?
1534545
It does but it's the only proper way to track a story.
I dunno, this seems to already be going into odd territory for me.
Discord wasn't the type to plan ahead this far. If he had, there's no way he could've lost. Also, complex plans are not the modus of a being of chaos, but a being of order. Evil order, yes, but it takes an ordered and disciplined mind to be several steps ahead of an opponent.
And Discord's loss to the Bearer's is more than enough evidence to demonstrate his failings in that category.
This seems more like a trap I'd expect from Nightmare Moon, or perhaps the new villain, Sombra.
1534152
What do you know! I was right.
1533991
But...
What you quoted is the correct spelling and usage of that word...
wat
i liked it so far but (and this is personal opinion feel free to ignore) i feel like you cast celestia as already a bit towards your vision of her from her past as opposed to how she is in the show. overall though very good, couldn't find any spelling or grammar errors. liked and faved
Ho, boy... You've left us with a major cliffhanger, and no real meat to the story. We're starved for more, and please deliver.
No thumbs up for you; too early to tell if this will be good or not.
1535485 and thus showing the author what the correct spelling is.
as a fan of Nightmare Sol, I'm gonna ave to....Fave and track this.
Also, amazing work, my good mman.
great opening chapter!
didn't catch any "new" mistakes, and even then the flow of the story was great!
one question though: are the tags final?
1535485
Yeah, I changed it and bolded it to draw his attention to that. He had it as 'irrevocable' in the description.
1533991
OMG! ish you~!!!!
HURRAY!
1535959
Yeah, should have made it more clear what I was thanking you for: thanks for pointing out the word error, lel.
A typo:
So far so good.
Looks good, Will follow
Interesting start, this has lots of potential. Can't wait to see where it goes.
This story i likey!
I like this, continue on.
1535959
Aah. Apologies, the usual procedure (at least in my experience) is to quote the error directly and then supply the correction below.
1536777
Ah. That would explain the confusion! Sorry for not sticking to protocol but I'm not too great an editor so I'm not all that skilled.
Always was a fan of the Celestia's evil half idea. What are you going to call her?
1537181
I would have thought "Solar Flare" would be a good name. Idk, everyone seems to have different names for evil Celestia
I get the feeling that Twilight is being set up for a whole world of heartbreak.
Added it read later, will check it out tomorrow. Looks great from the first chapter.
1534024 Hi Fallowing! Let us know when you're suitable for planting crops again.
1534404
There are a few actually. mostly what if story's revolving around what if Celestia was the one sealed away for 1000 years. I believe the fan name is Solar Flare.
I can't wait to see where you go with this. I can only imagine how awesome this will be.
Daym!!! Thats FRIGGIN AWESOME!!!!