Everfree and the Poisoned Flower

by Benman

Everfree and the Poisoned Flower

Girls! What are you doing up? I thought you were asleep. Wasn’t the cockatrice enough excitement for one night?

I see. Put it away, please. It will still be there tomorrow. Now, why don’t I get you a nice, warm glass of milk?

There, that’s better. You look so sleepy, all snug in your bed. Would you like to hear a bedtime story?

Yes, it does have cutie marks in it.

Okay, then, girls. Settle down…

Once upon a time, there were two sisters who lived with their mother in a cabin in the woods. They loved each other very much. Nopony else lived in the forest, you see, and so they didn’t have any friends except for each other.

Girls, quiet, please! One at a time.

Yes, they did have names. The younger sister was called Everfree. That’s right, just like the forest. The older sister was named Oleander. Does anypony know what oleander is? No? Oh, well, it’s a type of flower. It’s very beautiful, and Oleander was a beautiful little filly, but oleanders are poisonous, and you mustn't eat them. Okay. Who was next?

No, they didn’t have their cutie marks yet. Everfree was much too young. Oleander was old enough that she was hoping to get her cutie mark any day. She wanted her cutie mark so much.

Oh, my. She must have been just about your age.

There was one other question, right?

No, I don’t know where their father was. Bad things happened to ponies in those woods, sometimes.

Anyway, Oleander and Everfree liked to go out and play together. The woods were deep and dark, but it was their home and they weren’t scared. The forest was dangerous sometimes, but it wasn’t so dangerous near their house. Their mother let them go play, although she told Oleander to watch her sister very closely, because Everfree was just a little pony and she couldn’t take care of herself.

The two of them played their favorite game. They were trying to find Oleander’s cutie mark. They tried everything: dancing, racing, somersaulting, painting, and more. Nothing worked. Everfree was having fun. It was just a game to her, you know. Oleander started to get frustrated, though. After a while, when they were in the middle of weaving necklaces out of bluebells, it became too much for her. She couldn’t make her necklace stay together no matter how hard she tried. Oleander started to cry.

Everfree saw. She took her own necklace and hung it around Oleander’s neck. It was a very pretty necklace, much better than the one Oleander had made. Oleander hugged her sister, but then she left to be alone for a little while. Not too alone, though. Her mother had told her to watch Everfree, and so Oleander found a clearing close enough that she could hear her sister playing. She wiped her eyes and tried to stop sniffling.

“Excuse me,” said a voice. “It looks like you’re having some trouble. Maybe I can help you.”

Out of the thick, thorny bushes stepped Coyote. He was one of the biggest, scariest predators in the forest, and Oleander’s mother had told her how dangerous he was. Still, his voice sounded so nice, she couldn’t help but listen. Anything with a voice like that couldn’t be all bad.

Yes, she was being pretty silly. Hush, now.

“Why would you help me?” said Oleander. “My mother says you’re just a hungry monster.”

“Your mother is a wise pony,” said Coyote. “I am very hungry. If I help you, then you have to promise to find something for me to eat. Now, what is the problem? I know many secrets, and perhaps one of them can fix your trouble.”

“I can’t find my cutie mark,” said Oleander. “I tried and I tried and I tried, but I can’t.”

Coyote nodded slowly. “I see,” he said. “You are in luck. I know secrets about cutie marks. What have you tried so far?”

“I tried all the things I could think of,” Oleander said, and she told him about the weaving and the racing and all the rest.

Coyote laughed, but it wasn’t a mean laugh. “You are doing this the wrong way, my little pony,” he said. “You can’t find a cutie mark by trying everything at once. No, you need to find the thing that’s most precious to you. That is how you find a cutie mark.”

“But I don’t know what that is,” Oleander said with a pout.

“Sometimes a name is a clue,” said Coyote. “What is your name?”

“Oleander,” she told him.

“Ah!” Coyote clapped his paws together. “Perfect! I have the answer! But I won’t tell you unless you promise to find me something to eat.”

Oleander promised.

“Very good,” said Coyote. “To earn your cutie mark, you must find the most beautiful flower in the world. I know where it is, but I have not seen it, because getting there is very hard. The flower is in a deep thicket on top of a tall hill across a wide river. Be careful, though. I know that ponies eat flowers, but you must not eat this one, for it is deadly poisonous.”

“I won’t,” said Oleander.

“Then I will draw a map to take you there.”

“Thank you!” said Oleander. “I’ll get Everfree and we’ll go right away.”

“Your little sister?” Coyote shook his head. “Oh, no no no. She is too young. She cannot make the journey. You must leave her here.”

“But Mother said I have to watch her,” said Oleander. “Everfree is too young to take care of herself.”

“Don’t worry,” said Coyote. “I will watch her for you. Only remember, when you come back, you will find me something to eat, because I am very hungry.”

Oleander agreed. She found her sister and told her to stay with Coyote. Everfree was scared at first, just like Oleander had been, but Coyote was friendly and soon they were laughing together. Coyote drew the map, just like he said, and Oleander set off to find the flower.

Well, it was a very hard journey, but Oleander wanted her cutie mark so much. She swam across the river and climbed over the hill and plunged through the thicket. She found the flower, and it really was the most beautiful flower in the world. It had a stalk like emeralds and petals like pieces of a sunset. It was hard to believe that something so lovely could be poisoned. Oleander stood and watched it for a long time, but then she remembered about her sister and she went back.

When Oleander returned, she found Coyote taking a nap. She woke him up. “I found the flower,” she said. “It was very pretty, but I didn’t get my cutie mark.”

“Strange,” said Coyote. “Maybe you did something wrong. Did you bring the flower back?”

“No,” said Oleander. “You said it was poison.”

“If you don’t have the thing that’s most precious to you,” said Coyote, “then of course you don’t have your cutie mark.”

“Where is my sister?” said Oleander.

“Oh, dear,” said Coyote. “I seem to have lost her. I’m terribly sorry.”

Oleander stomped her hoof. “Help me find her!” she said.

“She’s your sister, not mine,” he said. “You find her.”

Oleander pouted. “I’m not going to find you something to eat,” she said.

Coyote stood up and stretched. “That’s okay,” he said. “I’m not hungry anymore.” He walked away into the woods, humming as he went.

Oleander looked for her sister, and she looked, and she looked, but she couldn’t find Everfree anywhere. Finally, the sun went down, and she had to give up and go back home.

“Where’s your sister?” her mother asked when Oleander got back. “I told you to watch her.”

“I don’t know,” said Oleander, trying not to cry. “She got lost.”

“You can’t leave her out there all alone,” said her mother. “Go find her. I don’t want to see you back here until you do.”

What else could she do? Oleander went back out to look for Everfree. She looked until the sun came up, and she kept looking until the sun went down again. She never gave up, though. She’s still looking today. Sometimes you can still hear her calling her sister’s name. That’s why they call it the Everfree Forest, you know. Sometimes Oleander catches a little filly who reminds her of her sister, and then… well, maybe I’ll tell you when you’re older.

Goodnight, girls. Sleep tight. Be careful around the forest, okay?

What? Oh, no, of course she didn’t find her cutie mark. She’s still looking for the thing that’s most precious to her, isn’t she?

Comments

[Seattle_Lite]

Nice work man, this was cool.

[Midnightshadow]

so simple, and yet chilling and telling, right in the manner of those sorts of "just so" stories. Brilliant.

[Benman]

1503820

opens to-do list
flips to "impress the guy whose work convinced me to start writing fanfiction"
crosses out

[Regidar]

OH SHIT

NO SLEEP TONIGHT

[Xenonic]

Tracking device ACTIVATE!
Well done.

[brijbee]

media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbfa33JbnH1r0p99t.gif

REALLY like this one. Great!

[Casca]

Wow, okay. Didn't see that coming, from Fluttershy of all ponies no less. I think it was precisely because it was Fluttershy, though, that I was slightly doubtful about the end, but the twist was there, and it did what it needed to do, and that's a high skill in itself.

[PresentPerfect]

>“I won’t,” said Everfree.
I do believe this is a typo.

Well, this was kind of nicely creepy. I rather saw where things were going the entire time, and the storytelling format is a little on the simplistic side, but I think this accomplishes what it sets out to do.

[InkSparrow]

Oooh~ Really nice, Simple, but deep, and Fluttershy's voice in my head made it more delicious.

[JessieLaurent]

I really liked it.

As far as it goes for it being slightly simplistic, and the fact that one can sort of see the ending coming, I think it is a good thing. Or, at the least, it makes sense. This is supposed to be a scary story for children, and on that regard, you get the flavor of it down well, besides being more than a little creepy.

Wonder why Fluttershy told it, they'll not sleep after that.

Oh, and good use of the format, in the sense that I could picture the CMC interrupting just so, and her having to fend off answers before they get into it.

[An Unimpressive]

I'm still not a fan of this framing device. I feel like it's an excuse to write more in a script style and omit description. *shrug*

[Benman]

1521024

“I won’t [eat the flower],” said Everfree.

I guess "I will [be careful]" would've worked, too. In hindsight, that's more ambiguous than I'd like.

EDIT: I am not a clever pony.

1521085
>Wonder why Fluttershy told it, they'll not sleep after that.

I wanted to imply that Fluttershy was trying to scare/warn the kids away from the forest in the future, but one of the weaknesses of this format is that I couldn't convey that very strongly.

1521131

There's some truth to that. I made that choice mostly to play with the emphasis on the story-within-a-story elements, but it's also partly to capture the description-light, matter-of-fact atmosphere of a fairy tale.

[ctzmsc3]

1521024>>1521333
That should be Oleander, not Everfree, speaking, right?

[Benman]

1521461

Oh. Oh, right. I am entirely blind, apparently. Fixed.

[PresentPerfect]

1521593
YOU SUCK BEN

[Lazygamer313]

Hey hey hey, this is pretty nice. The structure of this story reminds me much like a fairy tale (before companies like Disney ruined them that is) where it shows about a cute and innocent setting before it gets complex and dark were not all tales have an happy ending and often have wisdom though sad, yet insightful message. So I have to say, well done man. A hidden gem for sure. Keep up the good work man.

Best regards

[Brony of the Revolution]

Sometimes Oleander catches a little filly who reminds her of her sister, and then… well, maybe I’ll tell you when you’re older.

Nudge nudge, wink wink!

Great story!

[FanOfMostEverything]

That was a wonderful piece of quietly disturbing fiction, told in an entirely in-character way by its narrator. Given how fearful she is, Fluttershy probably knows quite a few stories like this one...

[Fernin]

Nice work!

[Ezn]

Coyote as in this coyote, right? I read his lines in Mark Hamill's Joker voice anyway.

I really liked this. Short, sweet, and chilling.

[Hayquill]

We need more stories like this.

[mrmayortheiv]

Damn, color me impressed! A very good story, there are so many different aspects about it that deserve to be praised, but what really shines through to me is the flawless execution of the concept. A delightfully chilling idea presented absolutely perfectly. a beautiful read and certainly a new favorite of mine.

[Madway]

50th like, amazing story bro.

[Amber flicker]

1520630
Whatever do you mean,no sleep?

[Regidar]

2454221 It means I won't be sleeping

[Erebos]

Dat ending

[bahatumay]

That's... chilling. Especially the last line.
I imagine it'd be insane to hear this in Fluttershy's voice.

[kyttypony]

1577696 Nah, THAT Coyote wouldn't do something like that. He's a trickster, but he likes people too much to eat one. (I'm assuming the same goes for ponies, since they're roughly the equivalent.)

[Titanium Dragon]

Pony fairy tales are the best.

[shutaro]

Creepy.
The writing style is a bit peculiar though.

[AisheyruFox]

I wasn't too sure about the ending. It seemed a bit rushed for my tastes. But all in all a very good story.

[CaraCitrine]

Saw it coming, but 11/12 nonetheless.