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In wake of the Changeling invasion, the citizens of Equestria begin the question the rule of the Royal Alicorn Sisters. With fear and doubt spreading throughout the land, Princess Celestia struggles to keep her kingdom united. Will she and the Mane Six be able preserve harmony, or will Equestria be torn apart?
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Well, this is my first fanfic. Please give me some feed back. I wouldn't mind hearing some constructive criticism, but don't please don't be too harsh.
I actually considered making this the first chapter since it takes place before the other one. However, I decided to not to because the other one helps set the tone for the rest of the story. This chapter is mainly to introduce the main cast into my story.
Really, this entire chapter could have been cut. Nothing actually goes on here, and Celestia already established last chapter the Elements had gone home. Last chapter also seemed to imply the Mane Six (or at least Twilight) had been effected by the Changling Invasion, but we didn't really see much of that here, to the point if you hadn't seen the episode and only read the dialogue you'd never know an invasion happened. Really disrupts the tone the stellar first chapter established. Still, this has at least demonstrated you do understand the characters and can keep them in character, and the premise is good. You just need to work on your pacing a little.
1498714
Thanks for the feed back. Yeah, I know that they don't show signs that have been affect yet, but trust me. I have something in mind for the next chapter. I said that the whole thing was an emotional roller-coaster for them. This chapter was to show the "high" part of the roller-coaster. Next chapter will show the "low" part.
1498756
I suppose it's simply a difference of style between us. If I was you and you were me, the Mane Characters would start off psychologically wrecked by the invasion, mired in depression, paranoia and anger, and would work their way up. But you seem to have made it where they are actually repressing the horror of the invasion and trying to remember the positive aspects of the Wedding. I imagine the downhill will start once they see how shocked and horrified their fellow Equestrians are.
An interesting idea I got after musing over your response is the idea that in the minds of the public, the wedding is likely to get overshadowed by the invasion. With some time, no one is going to remember the wedding day as the day Shinning Armor and Cadence got married, they're going to remember it as the day their army was trounced, their capital sacked and their leaders left helpless.
1498799
You got the idea. Just read the next chapter. You'll see that while they can focused on the positive while they're awaken, it's different story when they are asleep.
Simply knowing Changelings exist and would be enough to drive some ponies mad with paranoia, it wouldn't take much to set off someone who survived them. I'm hoping we get a look at Cadence's mind as well, seeing as she must be the most traumatized of them all.
I know that the ending of this chapter is kind of a cop out, but anyone could have seen it coming from a mile away. I made RD and Rarity's nightmares a little different from the others because, out of the Mane 6, it seems like they get the most criticisms when it comes to their element. I wanted to address this a bit.
And thus, the first crack is struck. Celestia has held herself, unintentionally, upon a Godly pedestal. Now that that pedestal has been broken, ponies will begin to question a thousand years worth of history.
I am particularly interested in how Twilight respond. Despite being her faithful student and an iron clad supporter of Celestia's rule, being rebuked and dismissed by her mentor could easily snap her resolve. Much like a well built house can stand strong against storms and floods, but will collapse if the right piece of foundation is shattered. I also do not know how the fact that ponies are crediting her with stopping the invasion will affect her judgement.
Also, is Spike's back itch foreshadowing, or a running gag? If it's foreshadowing ok, but if you were aiming for a running gag... It's not all that funny.
Overall, you've returned to the high quality demonstrated by the first chapter. Keep up the good work!
1502113
Thanks for the support. Actually, the ponies aren't crediting Twilight with stopping the invasion. They're using the fact that she spotted the fake when Celestia couldn't against the princess. As for Spike's back, I'm am going somewhere with this. Next chapter will focus on bringing them back up from their emotional lows. After that, I'll shift the spotlight somewhere else.
Hi eveyone, I'm back! The season 3 premiere (which was on my birthday
) has caused me to take a new angle with my story. In fact, it's actually given me a means for my antagnoists to carry out their scheme.
1499950 eeyup but i think rainbow dash isnt tht loyal most of the series* cough* Mare Do Well* cough* royal wedding episode*..
An interesting new development, one I rather like. You have enraptured me to the prospect of learning the identity of this mysterious unicorn and I eagerly await more of this story.
I did say that I was going somewhere with Spike's back. Well, here it is.
1603114
Oh, really? I hope you'll like where I'm going with this change of events. Kind of like the mystery unicorn said, the season 3 premiere handed me the perfect plot element. By the way, do you have any guesses on who is the mystery unicorn? I won't tell until the reveal, but it'll be interesting to see what you think.
Not quite as elegant as a butterfly emerging from it's cocoon, but I suppose wings are wings...
Another excellent chapter!
The song that Octavia is playing is my favorite song, "Clair de Lune" by Debussy.
Spike's wings sure came in at just the right time.
1611213
That's Spike for you. Being a hero even when he's not trying to be. By the way, what do you think of the inclusion of the song?
I liked the song, certainly had a ballroom feel to it.
...And here comes our mysterious unicorn supremacist to spoil everyone's fun.
I see Twilight's relationship with Spike as mother and son.
And now, the mysterious unicorn makes its move.
Depending on what kind of resources the Kingdom of Unicornia posses, splitting up is either a great plan or the worst plan imaginable. We'll just have to see how it goes.
The mysterious unicorn has been revealed!
! Maybe Celestia wanted them to play those parts for a reason 
.
In my head-canon, Commander Hurricane is a male and he and Princess Platinum are Celestia and Luna's parents. Rainbow Dash was only playing the part in the pagent. Wait...Rainbow's wings and multicolored mane...Rarity's horn and white coat...
Sorry for the delay. I was caught up with finals, but now, I'm back!
1826238
I couldn't resist.
Most of this chapter expalins my personal head-cannon.
I just don't believe that Blueblood could do this without being ahnihilated by Twilight.
This is a pony who had to use Rarity to shield him from CAKE. He's nothing
1841391
Did you read the rest of the story? Remember, Blueblood is using the power of Sombra's horn. But yes, normally he would be hurting now.
Well this concludes my first fanfic. I hope everyone enjoyed it. Let me know what you think .Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.
That bitch Blueblood finally got what he deserved.
Sucks to be him.
Aw, classic bad guy death senario...ALWAYS Expect a dead body or some form of a body when someone/somepony think he/she is dead.
This could be interesting...
3309892
Funny story, I started writing this before season 3 came out. It was going to have the same villains, but they were going to use Celestia's failure during the Changling Invasion against her to divide Equestria. When season 3 aired, it changed everything for my story, but for the better. Now the antagonist now has a secret weapon.
People still comment on my two latest stories but never on this one. Even though this is my first fanfic and is just a test before I started my Legend of Spike series, I'm still proud of it. Please, comment more on the other chapters, reader feedback is important to me.
1629174 I thought spmbras special talent was crystal manipulation, how is blueblood doin it
3483386
He's using Sombra's horn to give him power and to use dark magic.
3484084 oooooh, bio augmentation works
well played using the prototype card
For your first fanfic, well done. Black Kyurem wishes he could have found this story a whole lot sooner.
Son of a...
FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU*******************!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
..... And this is where I end this story....
Well, it's too early for me to say anything, but I'll read and try my best to review this. The Canterlot Wedding was always a touchy subject for me, so I kinda like seeing everyone suffer for ignoring Twilight. Sorry if that sounds cruel, but it's what I feel.
If this was your first fanfic I have to say
outstanding!
1612751 It's people like them that give magic users a bad name.
Interesting idea to have Jet Set and Upper Crust be more than just shallow jerks. As to the unnamed unicorn/new villain, I'm guessing either Fancy Pants or Blueblood.
I'm really not surprised there is such a thing as Unicorn Supremacists. Now, I'm thinking the unknown unicorn villain is either Blueblood or Trixie.
So Hurricane and Platinum are Celestia and Luna's parents. Cool. I also figured Hurricane was a guy because Rainbow Dash was acting more masculine during the play.
And I called it that it was Blueblood. Unfortunately, it's not that big a shock it's him. Most fimfics out there try too hard to make it a big surprise that he's the main villain, but after reading so many of these, it would be an even better plot twist if he wasn't the main villain.
Not to criticize your story, I'm really enjoying it so far, this is just a small peeve of mine.
According to Sir Terry Pratchett, my all time favorite writer, there are four elements of Air, Water, Earth, and Fire. But the fifth Element is Surprise.
Interesting head-canon.
Love this story! The ending felt a pinched rushed and maybe could use a epilogue, but overall
out of five moustaches!
1602406
She is loyal, shes just very head-strong.
I really like the first chapter so far! I think it is wonderful. We never do really hear what happened after the wedding, so it is always great to read what happens after.