• Member Since 23rd Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 6th, 2016



Alula, a pegasus prodigy, moves to Ponyville after her wings are mangled in an accident. Foisted off on an earth pony aunt and uncle, Alula struggles to cope with losing her chance at greatness. What is there left for her to do in a world that only valued her for her wings? Constantly haunted by the ghost of what she could have been; Alula tries to find friends, make connections with her family, and even has a chance to work with her idol, Rainbow Dash. As Alula walks a fine line between genius and insanity, will her connections be enough to calm her rage, or are her nightmares just a premonition of horrors to come?

Horror Story Submission for the 2012 EQD Nightmare Night Fanfic Contest.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 10 )

Well....I suppose this is what I get for reading a story with so many negative tags.


There were a lot of bits that made me roll my eyes, but overall I didn't mind this.

Mr. Flying_Whimsy, tear down this text wall!

Tear it down!



1496806 for some reason it reads better in the HTML version than through the standard fimfiction viewer. Less wall-of-text. Still I do agree it could use some cleaning up to read better in the standard viewer.


1497016 My avatar is all the approving smiles you'll need. Take it with care, as I don't hand out Smiling Kurt to just anyone...

While I was asleep last night reagan came in and smashed a bunch of carriage returns into my story. Oh no!

Sorry if it gave you folks trouble; first time posting here. :derpytongue2:

I don't know what to say after reading this..... It can't end here. It can't end this way. So her last words Alula spoke in this story are that she never wanted all of this, in deep regret and desperation when she realized what they had driven her to do and that she has killed her idol, the one pony she looked up to. And then we're left with this, watching her cry, more broken than she ever was before..... It can't end here. I need to know what happens next. I need to know what is going to happen to her. I want a happy end for Alula. :applecry:

Wow, nice story! It had me hooked the entire time, and I really felt for these poor ponies.
One thing, basically the only major thing, I noticed was these parts:

She flew higher still, pausing to look down at the tiny specs crawling through the city below. She started to laugh, but her joy turned to horror. Alula’s wings twisted and broke, feathers springing loose with the sound of each cracking bone. She plummeted straight down, accelerating as she fell, screaming, headfirst.

Where it just sort of seems like it's under-described. As in the quote above. What did she feel, to turn so quickly from joy to horror? It's.. too quick to be understood easily, though it is a dream.
That's basically it, though.. I really liked this story. Good work! :twilightsmile:

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