• Member Since 22nd Aug, 2011
  • offline last seen Nov 14th, 2019

Zoltrioundz


E

[Normal][Sad][OC Pony][Slow Romance]
Full Size Cover image: http://zoltrioundz.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4c5o8y


Indigo Flash hasn't had the best life. In fact, while he was just a young colt, his entire life started unraveling at the seams. He lost his parents, was driven away from the other ponies his age, and wound up forced into a job that had nothing to do with his special talent, just after he found out what it was. Over time, he learned to live with it, and his life seemed to stabilize, perhaps even become normal. Which made it all the worse when everything falls apart in a single day, and he is left without even the ability to control his own fate.

Once everything is ripped away from a pony, can he ever return his life to the way things were? And even if he can, is it still worth fighting for?

~Compiled and edited by Twilight Sparkle, Royal Librarian

(This is a work in progress, and will be until completed. Please see my blog entry for more details :3 )

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 68 )

FS yelling to get her friends' attention seems out of character. I know she has her loud moments, but they are usually yelling at ENEMIES (or the one time cheering).

2891

First, thank you very much for the comment. I love getting feedback on my story. :)

(also, sorry for the delay in responding, I was going to talk to you directly in the EquestrianStudy IRC but I never saw you on when I was there.)

As for Fluttershy in Chapter 4, I believe the part you are referring to is when she is trying to get her friend's attention. I drew from the show in several places for this scene, but mostly from the scene in "Staremaster" when she basically uses the same lines to get the attention of the CMC when they were ignoring her. I also took inspiration from other times where she was either not heard or overshadowed by other ponies, for example, the beginning of "Dragonshy" and the manticore scene from episode 2.

So while I love your feedback, I decided to leave the scene as is, except I made a minor change of removing the bold on the final exclamation, as she isn't angry, just frustrated. I think I'll try and keep the bold for Angryshy.

Thanks again! :twilightsmile:

This story keeps getting better. Continue my friend. :yay:

Wow, just wow. I am really impressed. Creating all those rhymes for Zecora must have been hard.
Keep up the good work! :pinkiesmile::twilightsmile::yay:

8026

While checking email at work, I got such a surprise,
When suddenly a comment appeared to my eyes.
"I never get comments!" I thought in my head,
Disbelieving the words on the page I had read.
For comments and ratings have been rare as of late,
And I had given up, and resigned to my fate.
"Ill never get noticed! My story must stink!"
Faith in my writing had begun to sink.
Slowly I believed my story was just for me,
And that few others would enjoy, to read, and to see.
My tale, his world, and his life still to unfold,
I have so much to write, so much more to be told.
Your words brought happiness and renewed my drive,
To improve on my writing, to grow and to thrive.
As well it did brighten a slow, weary work day,
And that is just priceless, I have to say.

So thank you again, thanks so much for your time,
And I hope you don't mind that I did this in rhyme. :twilightsmile:

Good, but I was just a bit turned off by long you spent going off on tangents with Pinkie Pie early in the chapter.:trixieshiftright: It almost seemed like she'd hijacked the narrative and went trotting down memory lane before you could regain control. You got back on track though, so you've still got me hooked. :pinkiehappy:

Quite informative.

And I LOVE the Take That you zinged Cupcakes with! :pinkiehappy:

Well done!

8500

Yeah, I know what you mean. To be honest, I've found that, especially with all mane 6 here, they all want to steal the spotlight, at least in my head. Pinkie's explanation, as I call it, actually went through 3 rewrites, and this final version is by far the best of the three. This time, while it is longer in words, it feels like Pinkie is talking, and interacting with Dash as herself, instead of just reading from a script, and I liked that much better than the old versions. Plus, I needed to clarify a little more of the whole "pegasus ancestry" bit of fanon (it IS fanon, despite it linking with background canon), and having Indigo do that...well, that just felt like a whole bunch more exposition. Also, in my personal headcanon, Pinkie is related to Surprise, her original form as designed by Faust, and it just made sense to me to have her know about that stuff.

Glad to know you're still enjoying it, and as always, I will strive to improve my work. Thanks for the feedback! :twilightsmile:

8542

Nice Catch! Both my main prereaders missed the reference there.

I add all sorts of little references and call-outs to the show and to the fandom. See if you can find them all!

As always, thanks for the comment! :twilightsmile:

I see what you did there.:trollestia:

8719

Oh noes! Ceiling Trollestia is watching me write! :pinkiegasp:

Seriously though, thanks for the comment, but no idea what part of the story you are referring to :twilightblush:

LIKE A FAUST!
:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy: (10/10)

Oh and, NICE. AVATAR!

14142
14689

Thank you, and thank you again! :twilightblush:

I'm glad you enjoyed what I have so far, I hope you like what is still to come, as the story grows, and I truly hope you will love the finished product. :twilightsmile:

My psychic powers tell me I will, so will everyone else who reads this. Oh, watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mPA6QPrqvI&feature=related

PONEEEEEEEEEEEE

15241
16152
Mmyes, good video. Headbobbed to that the other night. This was basically my expression when I saw what it was, though. :twilightoops: (What am I looking at here) hehe

Sorry about the delay and chapter renamings. Going through the revisions mentioned on the blog, and its making quite a mess :facehoof:
Oh well, the improvements are coming along nicely, and once they are complete, I can go back to working on the new chapter! yay~ :twilightsmile:

wait so he's a alicorn?

18049
18054
:eeyup:

The only alicorns in my story/headcanon are the Princesses. And they will not be seen much. Probably about as often as you see them in the show, so only every now and again. Not planning any chapters focused on them at all... At least, not yet... :twilightsmile:

Thanks for reading and commenting!

Cmon, MOAR!
(If you need any help... I'm good at helping)

31655

Hello again. I'm really sorry about the delay... this chapter involves some elements which are making it hard to write. On top of that, I just got back from a week's vacation, and did not have time to work on it at all. :twilightoops: :twilightblush:

Now that is not to say that I have not made any progress at all... Before I left, I penned several thousand words of the first draft. Its just... I've hit a section that is causing me writers block, and is holding up the story. :twilightangry2:

Now that I'm back, I'm sure I will get past it shortly. I have not forgotten you, nor any of my other readers. I try to work on the story every day, when I can.

I promise, I am not abandoning this story, or putting it on hiatus. It will come, I just don't know how much longer this chapter will take. :facehoof:

*hands a sledgehammer*
SMACK THAT WRITER'S BLOCK GOOD!!

18054
eeyup. I have to admit I was a little confused too at first, since unicorns can't normally walk on clouds, but I figured it makes sense that unicorns born to two pegusi would have that trait. Interesting take on that factor, Zolt.

2891
Actually, that line she said is almost verbatim from the show. During the cutie mark sleepover at fluttershy's place, she yelled at the CMC's to get their attention.

Damn, Zolt. This should have way more readers than it does now. For me, you fill up the gap that I didn't even know was missing from a lot of the others stories I read on here until now: professionalism. Lots of great fics out there have the emotion that keeps me hooked on the story, but you have that, AND a very, very good writing style. It's obvious that you are a very experienced writer. (Don't try to tell me that you aren't, or this is your first fic or something, I will call you a liar). Anyways, have you tried submitting this to EQD? It will EASILY publish. You should do that, like, soon.
5/5, one of the most involved, complex, deep, and impressive stories I have read to date.

Truly your rhyming skills are very dazing
but I must say this story is amazing!!!!

34324
*looks up from his computer desk, where an epic battle with a dragon is taking place*
*gets a determined look in his eyes*

"Looks like my Skyrim will have to wait!" (epic music begins to play)

*inhales deeply and lets out a piercing Shout*

"RAIN BO DAAH!!!" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2O-P16lz_NM)

*computer tumbles through the air as it disappears off-screen*
*bends down and heaves a heavy beige stone onto the desk*
*snatches the sledgehammer from your hooves, and raises it overhead with a mighty battle-cry
... pulls out a tiny chisel and starts chipping away with the giant hammer.*

Will do! :derpytongue2:
(in all seriousness I was mostly only playing Skyrim as a break. I am still making progress. First draft of the newest chapter should be done soon. Thanks again for your support!)

40588
Thank you so much for your supportive comment. If I could nominate it for best comment of the day or something, I would. :twilightblush:

I put a lot of work into each and every chapter, and I do my best to be professional, though I'm not sure I'm any more professional than the next average writer. Contrary to what you may think, this IS actually the first thing I have written since high school, 7-8 years ago. Hence why I have to sometimes go back and retcon, or improve things based on reviews (and EqD rejection :applecry:). Of course, I try to keep it to a minimum, but like I have said before, its incomplete until it's complete. :twilightsmile:

As for the emotion, I try to put myself in his horseshoes, so to speak, and think how he would react to the situation he is in. Losing control of your life is a very traumatic experience. Add onto that the fact that he is kinda an introvert and is suddenly thrust into this new world with new ponies and well, you can see what happens. I do my best, and if that is gotten across to the reader, then I have done my job right. Id hate to do a poor job. The story in my head deserves better. Sometimes I think it deserves better than I can muster, but I strive to improve (another reason for upgrading older chapters :twilightsheepish:)

Thank you again for the awesome comment and the rating. I appreciate it more than you will ever know. :twilightsmile:

44292

Hello, and thanks for reading!

I'm glad you found my first chapter so interesting... Actually, I'm a little surprised, since I got rejected from EqD due to supposed "flow issues" with that chapter. After the newest chapter is complete, I will be looking at revamping the first two, to try and apply some of what I have learned since originally writing them. I hope to make them even better than before! :twilightsmile:

...but I digress. I truly hope you enjoy the rest as much as you have enjoyed the first chapter! And thanks for commenting! :twilightblush:

44757

Thanks for the comment! I do like to rhyme.
It comes strangely easy, though not all the time.
Sometimes I struggle, and sometimes it streams
Flowing forth from my mind, and often in dreams.
Alas, time will come when Zecora will leave
And the rhyming will cease, and I will then grieve.
But the future awaits us, so much more to be told.
And she may return, if I may be so bold :ajsmug:

So thank you again, enjoy this rhyming reply.
As I continue to write, and improve. (Well, I'll try) :twilightblush:

44774
:twilightblush::twilightoops::twilightsheepish: YESYESYESYESYES

...no wait...

:derpyderp2::derpyderp1: Wat?

FIRING ORBITAL ANTI-WRITERS BLOCK/DRAGON CANNON IN:
3
2
1
YOL ROH uhhhh.... MOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRR!!!!1!!!!!ONE!!!!:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

16168

Ha ha! one of my favorites too. I won't comment long here, as I only just discovered the story, and am in need of a moment to read it. It sounds interesting from the description and comments!

...

Why are there NEVER Luna ponimoticons???
Have some Twi instead!
:twilightangry2::facehoof::twilightoops:

40566 There is also the cloudwalking spell shown in Sonic Rainboom.

:pinkiegasp:
Damn, that reflection guy is creepy. Just what the hell is going on in Indigo's Head? Can't wait for the next chapter Zolt, awesome stuff here.

WHY CANT I STOP READING THIS!!!!!!

Do you Have any Idea when the next chapter will be up? This story Is AWESOME :rainbowkiss:

FIRING ORBITAL YES/MOAR CANNON IN:
3
2
1
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

This is great! im really enjoying it so far, intense stuff right here! please continue in creating.............DA MAGIKZ!:coolphoto:

53123>>58454

*is repeatedly obliterated by the cannon and stumbles around blindly*

Bwuh? Whuh?

*falls over*

But I just finished... and then you... and then I... What? :applejackconfused:

More will be coming, I promise, but I promised myself after this doozy of a chapter I would:
a) revamp chapter 1 and 2 for another shot at getting onto EqD
b) Try and make myself an avatar in the same style as the cover picture I made (I know, I love shrugging ponies too, but I've got a picture in my head of my ponysona and I want to give it a shot.)
c) I'm also tempted to take a stab at drawing the scene at the end of the most recent chapter (you know which one I mean) But that all depends if I can picture it well enough, or how this avatar turns out. I may hold off on that for now.

The good news is that I've technically already started the next chapter. I had originally planned to have the next chapter and this one combined, but I realized that it would be far too long, and that this was a better stopping point, especially from a story standpoint. Even more good news is that when I was having issues writing, I storyboarded out the entire chapter, so I know what will happen the whole way through. Barring any more writers block ( I wonder if you can tell which part of the story gave me so much trouble... :rainbowhuh:), It should not be as long as a wait as last time.

Thanks again for reading!:twilightsmile:

53779

Glad to have you here! Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it :twilightsmile:

Don't forget to rate when you do read! :twilightsheepish:

(I think the more good ratings I get the more likely readers are to find my story. But I would never pad my numbers. I just hope people enjoy it and rate.:twilightblush:)

57084

Omigosh! You bringing up cloud walking made me remember that I had already brought that up once. Gah! I missed a continuity error! *fixes*

Thanks so much for reading, and I am very grateful you mentioned that :twilightblush:

57092

While I would love to go on and on about everything that's going on in his head, I'm sure that pretty much anything I would say would be a spoiler. So I'll leave it to your imagination, for now :derpytongue2:

As for the next chapter, see my above comment. But it will be done, when it is ready. Same as all my chapters. :twilightsmile:

Hopefully sooner than later!

57162

:raritycry: But... but... why would you want to? *sniffle* :raritydespair:

Hehe, glad you enjoy it! There's much more to come! :twilightsmile:

57331

I'm very happy you enjoy my story. As noted in one of the comments above, the next chapter has been started and storyboarded, but I will be taking a short break to revamp the first few chapters, to take another shot at getting on EqD. After that, it will be a toss up between trying to draw something in flash, and working on the story. I have a feeling I'll go back and forth for a while. Don't want to burn out my writing brain after all.

TLDR; It will be done when it's ready, but hopefully not a long as a wait as this last chapter was!:facehoof:

59250

You know I will! :twilightblush:

(though I must admit, I have no idea where da magickz are coming from. It's just a story in my head, and I am glad you think I tell it well.)

Thanks for reading and rating!:twilightsmile:

62269

You do know that you can put all those replies in one post, right?

62349

Yup, but I love all my readers and I think that, until I get overwhelmed, I should personally reply to each. :twilightblush:

Its more personal that way, and that way each knows they are appreciated seperately, not just some generic message to all my readers. Thats what the blog is for :rainbowwild:

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