• Published 27th Oct 2011
  • 3,359 Views, 68 Comments

Distant Flutter of Angels - Zoltrioundz

When a pony has everything taken from him, can he regain his true path with the help of the Mane 6?

  • ...

Smothered Memories

At first, talking about my past had seemed easy... almost too easy. I had started strongly, and had managed to keep it going for a few minutes, but it didn’t take long before I found myself stumbling over the words, finding them harder and harder to come by. Deep down, I knew I really wanted to open up, but I found myself hesitant, holding back. It didn’t help that I really didn’t know these ponies all that well. We had only just met after all, and not in the best of circumstances. It also didn't help that this was the first time I had ever spoken of my past to anypony. My so-called friends had never bothered to ask, in all the year’s they’d known me.

To top it all off, being the center of attention and talking in front of groups had never been my strong point. Truthfully, I would much rather sit quietly and listen to the others as they chatted with each other, only piping up when I had something useful to say. All that this attention was doing was making me feel exposed and even more unsure of myself. I had butterflies in my stomach and my forelegs felt a little twitchy, as nervousness filled my mind.

Taking a deep breath to try and calm my nerves, I paused to take a sip of soup. It helped to calm me down, while also soothing my throat and helping to fill my still grumbling stomach. Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I took a moment to look around. Instantly I realized the mood in the room had subtly changed. While the atmosphere had always been serious, at least the others had still been smiling.

Once I had started talking, that hadn’t lasted long.

Where whispers, giggling and munching on snacks had been only moments before, there was now only sombre silence. Even Pinkie had stopped eating and had a sorrowful look on her face, though after a second glance that looked like it was due to the fact that she had already completely demolished her pile of treats.

Sighing to myself, I decided I may as well push onward and get this over with. Taking another deep breath, I picked up where I'd left off. I had decided to leave the past as it was: in the past, and just gloss over the details. As therapeutic as it might be to talk about it in depth, I had already relived enough of my life during my fall, and these new ponies did not need to know every little thing about my history.

Already having touched on much of my early past and given the highlights (or rather lowlights), of my life up to the point where the company had taken me in, I was just beginning to speak on the events that had happened at school a few months later. Much to my surprise, as soon as the jocks came up, I felt a shudder against my side.

I nearly startled and spilled my soup: Fluttershy had been so quiet and motionless so far that I had actually forgotten she was leaning up against me. Noticing that my attention had turned to her, she quickly tried to hide a frown behind an obviously fake smile. “Oh! Um. It’s nothing really...” The smile faded and her eyes took on a haunted look. “I just know who you mean...”

My attention was suddenly drawn to Rainbow Dash as she groaned loudly, rolling her eyes. “We ALL know who you mean. We met them again a while back in Cloudsdale, remember? Those jerks haven't changed a bit! They still like harassing and making fun of other ponies. Just... just like they did to us when we were little, Fluttershy.” She paused, her eyes momentarily mirroring Fluttershy’s, but the look disappeared behind a mask. “I’d hoped showing them up time and time again would shut them up, but nothing’s ever worked for those guys.”

Rainbow's face blanched as she looked over at me, realizing she had let down her guard. Quickly, she tried to fix her previous statements. “ I mean, uh, not that they bothered me... Well, they tried, but I never let it get to me!” Striking a pose from her place on the floor, she tried to look confident, but then drooped, placing a hoof across her eyes. Sighing, she continued. “It’s like they try to ruin everything they see. I just don't get colts sometimes.”

Anticipating an apology, I waited for her to amend her comment, seeing as I happened to be a colt. It never came. Returning my expectant look, she just gave me a cold stare, waiting for me to back down. With no need to be confrontational, I did, turning my attention back to the yellow pony next to me. Fluttershy had gone silent again, her eyes lost in thought. She still looked haunted, lost in her memories of the past.

I was actually somewhat taken aback by all this: I’d always thought they had only picked on me. At least, that was how it had always appeared to me. I felt a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach as I suddenly realized that when they weren't tormenting me, they must have been doing it to others. From the sound of it, to my savior at the very least. What were the chances?

Wanting to let Fluttershy know that we were kindred spirits of a sort, and that I felt her pain, I momentarily placed my hoof on hers.

Her eyes, which had gone distant, instantly refocused at my touch, pulling her hoof away with a jerk and a terrified squeak. As she looked at me with with a frightened look in her eyes, I awkwardly replaced my hoof on the ground, trying my best to smile reassuringly. Her eyes softened and she smiled a bit, before leaning down to take a drink from her own bowl of soup.

Before resuming my story, I had decided that Rainbow's comment deserved a response after all, despite her coolness towards me. Coercing a plastic smile from my lips, I forced a chuckle. “If it's any consolation, Rainbow, I don't get them either, and I happen to be a colt myself.” I shrugged sheepishly. “But then again, I don’t really get fillies either. I guess I don't get out much.”

It worked, as she smirked at my self depreciating joke. “Heh, I guess not. Still, one of these days those guys are going to get what's coming to them, and I really hope they get what they deserve!”

Involuntarily, I flinched. After all, I had a vague impression of what had happened to them. Deserving or not, I had never wanted to hurt anypony, and by the looks I had seen on their faces...


I winced as the unwelcome memory of that scene tried to bubble back up into the forefront of my mind again. But this time, things were different. Before I could picture it again, my forehead throbbed; a sudden headache pounded against the inside of my skull. My concentration broken, the image never clarified in my mind, fading away into welcome blackness.


Then, as suddenly as it had started, it was gone. The throbbing just up and quit, and the pain began to recede. I looked around in a state of confusion, not sure what to make of that. Thinking about the past had never done that before! I shook my head violently: That had hurt! I took care to avoid thinking about it again.

I was still shaking my head to try and throw off the last of the pain when Applejack decided to comment. “Uh, you okay there partner? You’re shakin’ around like you've got a bee in your bonnet or somethin’.”

I stopped suddenly and gave her a sheepish grin. “Oh! Sorry! It's nothing. I'm fine, just had a bit of a sudden headache, that's all.”

She nodded, knowingly. Returning the nod with a smile, I continued. “Now, uh, where was I?”

“You were just telling us all about how those nasty colts kept harassing you, though I’m still not sure why you need to go this far back,” said Rarity with a shudder. “Ugh, I can't believe I ever associated myself with such brutes!”

“Oh, don’t worry, it will make sense soon...’ All thoughts of continuing left my mind as I suddenly found myself at a loss. “Wait, hold up, you knew them too? When were you ever in Cloudsdale?”

She laughed musically. “My dear, as Rainbow said, we've all been to Cloudsdale. Just a few years back we all visited it to watch Rainbow in the Best Young Flier's competition. She won, of course.” Raising an eyebrow curiously, she looked towards me. “Surely you must have seen it! It was a huge event. By how full the stands were, I thought everypony in Cloudsdale attended. I mean, even the Princess was there! Plus, even if you weren’t in the stands, the Sonic Rainboom is hard to miss. You can see it for miles!”

My head drooped, and I stared at the ground for a moment before I said anything, trying to figure out the best way to phrase this. Quietly, I responded. “Um, no, I’ve never actually attended any of the big events. Never had a reason to, or anypony to go with, so I just stayed home. As for seeing it, my room’s near the center of the weather factory. No windows.” I looked up with a sad smile. “Despite the joke, I wasn't kidding when I said I didn't get out much.”

Her smile faded, but she continued. “Oh... I see. Well, I also participated in the contest, foolishly so, since the entire reason I had insisted on coming was to support Rainbow. I got completely swept up in the excitement and ended up attempting to upstage the very friend I had come to help! Even so, in the end, when I fell and nearly died, she was there for me. She saved me by performing her infamous Sonic Rainboom. It was simply fabulous!” She began smiling again as she tilted her head towards Rainbow. “And for that I am forever indebted to her.”

I was instantly confused as to how she had participated, being a unicorn like me, with no discernible ability to fly. Momentarily, I recalled my earlier questions about this so-called cloud-walking. Opening my mouth to ask, I found myself cut off by an embarrassed Rainbow Dash.

“Aw, come on Rarity. It wasn’t a big deal. We've known each other for like, forever, and you've done plenty of cool stuff too. Like uh... Oh! Remember when Discord messed me up and you helped slow me down so Twilight could fix me?”

The expression on Rarity's face changed instantly from a look of gratitude to one of irritation as her cheeks flushed red. Obviously upset, she replied in a huff. “Of all the... why would you bring that one up? I mean, yes, I guess I helped, but it was completely accidental! Couldn't you have found a better example than that?”

Pinkie's head popped up out of a pile of cupcake wrappers. “Oooh! Oooh! I remember that! I helped too!”

Rarity turned and gave Pinkie an icy glare, replying in a flat tone. “Yes, I was referring to you dear, when I mentioned that it was due to an accident. If memory serves, it was your fault we ended up being dragged through the air behind her, yes?”

Pinkie shrugged, seemingly unperturbed by the daggers coming from Rarity’s eyes. “Well it worked, didn't it?” she asked, nonchalantly.

Rarity sputtered. “Well... yes... but...”

Pinkie giggled. “Then we helped, silly!” Spotting an uneaten cupcake in Rainbow's pile, she reached over and snatched it, eliciting a loud protest from the cyan pegasus. It was too little too late though, as the cupcake had already been swallowed whole, wrapper and all.

Rarity groaned, but did not continue protesting. Having realized that her cupcake was a lost cause, Rainbow turned back to the conversation. “Well, what example should I have used? When we faced the dragon up on that mountain?”

Rarity shook her head. “No, that was Fluttershy, Rainbow. I’m sorry to say, my attempt at getting the dragon to leave was most unsuccessful.”

Our of nowhere, Applejack let out a snort. “Well now, if’n mah memory serves, what yer really referrin’ to is your attempt to get him to part with some of his treasure, right?”

Rarity’s cheeks flushed brighter. “Oh... um... right...” She grinned with embarrassment before replying in an overly loud, dramatic tone. “Moving on!”

Rainbow, still trying to find a good example to please Rarity, was deep in thought, tapping on her chin with a hoof. “Um, did you do anything when that giant space bear attacked the town?

Rarity head drooped and she let out a drawn out sigh. “No dear, that was all Twilight. I spent most of the day trying to wash that horrid green color out of my hair, after being utterly humiliated in front of everypony in town.” She slumped to the floor with a look of despair. “Did you know that it took the entire rest of the day and an absolute fortune in hair care products just to get it looking normal again? By the time the Ursa Minor attacked, my hair had just dried. I’m rather embarrassed to admit this, but I think I hesitated joining Twilight for fear of having all my hard work ruined.” She looked over at Twilight and smiled warmly. "I think we all knew you could do it, though. And you did, quite spectacularly, I must say."

By this point, my head was whirling with questions: So many things that I had never heard of before were being mentioned so casually, as if they were nothing! By this point I was completely lost. Giant monsters? Non-pegasi in Cloudsdale? Another unicorn able to fly? Someone named Discord? And of course, whatever this Sonic Rainboom was again. So many topics, flying by without a care.

Not only was I completely lost in the conversation, but the attention of everypony in the room had shifted from me to them. Nopony seemed interested in my story anymore. I raised a hoof to interject, but my voice was drowned out by Rainbow continuing.

“What about when the Diamond Dogs foalnapped you? You definitely took the reins there!”

This time, Rarity’s head perked up a bit. “I did, didn't I? However, that was more of a self-rescue than anything else...”

“How about when...”

They continued bantering back and forth, completely ignoring me as I repeatedly raised my hoof, trying to get a word in edgewise. I quickly found myself growing irritated; They were being so rude! Whatever happened to wanting to hear about my past? I frowned, fuming. Instead they were reliving their own!

Frustration turned surprisingly quickly into anger, so fast I did not even have a chance to restrain it. Out of the blue, I flat out gave up trying to be polite and just shouted out over them. “Whoa, Whoa, WHOA! Girls, please! Not trying to be a jerk or anything, but as interesting as all this is, please remember that I have absolutely no idea whatsoever what any of these things you are talking about are! I don’t know if you noticed, but I haven’t been able to get a word in for a good five minutes!”

My head felt tight as the pain stopped receding and started to grow again. This only fueled the fire, my temper raging unchecked as I continued. “Also, last I checked, I was supposed to be the one trotting down memory lane, not you!” I groaned as the headache, which had never fully gone away, throbbed at my temples. Holding my head in my hooves, I tried to will away the pain, with little success.

Stunned silence filled the room. My sudden outburst had definitely gathered the flagging attention of everypony, though probably in the worst possible way. Despite the look of annoyance that several of them gave me, I felt a strange sense of satisfaction at my success. As the pain began to fade back to manageable levels however, I started to feel a little strange. That outburst was so unlike me! I'd never had a temper before, and definitely hadn’t gotten angry at somepony to their face...

I shrugged it off and pressed on, figuring it was just stress, and that I’d be back to normal soon. “Right, so now that we are back on track, I think I was about to tell you about what happened after those jerks drove me away from the school.” I took a few deep breaths, trying to center myself and calm down. Most of the rest of the story revolved around my office and my work, and I wanted to convey the proper feelings; the peace and solitude of my longtime home. The thought of it comforted me, as I pictured my sanctuary of so many years. The pain continued to recede as I started to relax, finding my happy place. I could see my desk, covered with all my work, where I spent long nights working and studying. I saw my bedroom, with my bookshelf, overflowing with novels and textbooks. I saw my...


The image in my mind flickered and warped, fading in and out as I tried to hold on to the memory. Unlike the last one, I did not want to lose it! It soon proved to be futile, however: all my efforts were in vain. After what felt like an eternity of inner struggle, I felt a ripping sensation, and the picture shredded as if by invisible claws, the tatters fading away. What was revealed behind it was a very different image. Instead of peacefulness and quiet, the roar of flames filled the room. Everything was burning! Smouldering books tumbled through the air, and work files disintegrated into swirling tornadoes of black ash. The ash mixed with the smoke that was rising through the ceiling, warping the clouds there and weakening the structure. I could already see into the rooms above, and heard creaking as their furniture threatened to fall through. Many of the clouds that made up the building were evaporating from the heat, and there were holes in the floor where the larger items had already burnt clean through. The desk, bookshelf, and bed were long gone, the voids where they once stood hollow reminders of what had already been lost.

I screamed.


Returning to reality, I found myself laying on the floor, writhing in pain. It was so intense this time that it felt as if my head was trying to explode under the pressure. With each throb, the heat of the fire pushed against the backs of my eyes, making them water. I couldn’t feel anything else. Unbidden, my hooves pounded at my temples, trying to stamp out the blaze in my mind.

And then once again, just as quickly as before, the image faded away. This time though, some of the pain remained. The headache stayed stronger, a dull throbbing, rhythmically beating against the inside of my skull.

My cry had not gone unnoticed. As all attention had been on me this time, they all saw the progression of events on my face, from deep concentration to fear, then finally to a look of pure suffering. Everypony moved quickly towards me to help, but it was Fluttershy who arrived first. Since she had been laying up against me, she had noticed that something was wrong before anypony else, long before my outburst. As my hooves continued to pound against my head, she instantly twisted, knocking over her soup bowl in the process. Grabbing my hooves, she managed to hold them back with some effort, stopping me from injuring myself worse.

She stared down at my face, contorted in pain, and gasped. “Oh my goodness! What’s going on? Stop, Indigo! Please stop!

I barely heard her. Even though the images were gone, indistinct scenes of fire and flame filled my mind. Uncontrollably, broken thoughts began tumbling from my mouth. “Burning... everything gone... destroyed... consumed...” They just kept coming, without pause. “An inferno... nothing left... gone, all gone...”

Twilight was the next to approach and she placed her hooves on my shoulders, forcefully shaking me back and forth. “Indigo, snap out of it!”

Whatever she did worked, and the fires disappeared, snuffed out. As reality finally set all the way back in, I flinched from the shock and nearly fainted. Moaning in pain, I covered my eyes with a foreleg for a moment. It took a minute or two for me to gather myself enough to speak. “What... What just happened?”

“You tell us! You went from talking to screaming in 10 seconds flat!” said Rainbow Dash with an annoyed tone in her voice, hovering in the air nearby.

I shook my head, trying to clear my mind, before replying. “I... I don't know. I was remembering... something, and then suddenly, intense pain. Then it was like everything was on fire.” I grunted, rubbing my sore eyes with my hoof. “Seems to have faded a bit though...” I paused, as an acrid scent suddenly filled my nostrils, causing me to gag. “Yeesh, but what is that horrible smell?”

Zecora, still laying next to me, leaned in and took a deep whiff near my face. She gave me a confused look. “What is this new scent of which you speak? I smell not a thing, neither strong nor weak.”

I coughed, trying to breath through my mouth, but nothing stopped it. It was like it permeated the room. “Ugh, its horrible! You can’t smell that? It’s like something’s burning, right under my nose!”

Everypony started sniffing around, with no success. It would have been a silly sight, if not for the seriousness of the situation. Zecora raised an eyebrow. “I cannot smell it; not even a bit. But we are laying next to my fire pit.” She tilted her head towards the large cauldron that she had been ladling soup out of. “Is this the source of that horrible smell? Nothing has changed, so far as I can tell.”

I leaned over her and inhaled deeply, but could still smell nothing else, nothing different. “I... I just don't know! It seems to be everywhere! But it doesn't smell like burning wood...” As much as it was making me nauseous, I took a moment to try and figure out what it was. “It smells more like... burnt toast?”

The earlier silence returned, this time more awkwardly, as everypony gave me strange looks. Before long though, it was broken by laughter, as Pinkie Pie started to giggle. “Don’t be silly, it’s not time for breakfast!” The expression shifted to a more serious one. “Though I suppose it’s still early enough for a late brunch!” She clopped her hooves together excitedly. “Ooh! Can I have waffles? I love waffles! I think I even have some syrup in my bag!” At this she dashed to the front door and started rummaging through something just out of sight.

Suddenly angry, I snapped at her. “It isn't funny! It smells horrible!” I tried to glare at her, but suddenly found it hard to focus on her. She appeared to be bouncing all over the place. “And stop moving! You're making me dizzy!”

Abruptly, she stopped what she was doing, pulling her head out of what appeared to be a white saddlebag. She looked back at me, a bemused look on her face. “Uh, Indigo? I'm not moving.”

I pressed my hooves against my temples, trying to clear the constant throbbing. “What?”

Before Pinkie could repeat herself, Twilight gasped and grabbed my head in her hooves. I began to complain but she shushed me. “No time to explain. I need you to be quiet and look me right in the eyes. This is important.” Taken aback by her sudden assertiveness, I complied, looking deeply into her violet eyes, which seemed to glimmer in the candlelight. I was surprised to see they were full of concern as they studied mine closely, darting back and forth. I felt a flush growing in my cheeks as I tried to keep my cool. The feeling of her breath against my muzzle brought forth strange feelings. What was with these girls and getting close to me?

After only a few moments, she released my head and backed away nervously. “Oh... this is bad. This is VERY bad!”

Applejack looked over with apprehension. “What are you goin’ on about, sugarcube?”

Twilight had not stopped moving, she kept fidgeting back and forth in a panic, speaking to nopony in particular. “Oh...! We shouldn't have stayed here. As soon as we realized what had happened to him we should have headed for town...”

Applejack went over and put a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. “Calm down, Twi, and tell us what’s wrong.”

At Applejack’s reassurance, Twilight slowly began to relax. Taking a deep breath, she abruptly waved her hoof wildly in the air towards me. “He's hurt! A lot worse than we thought. We need to get him to a doctor. Now!”

Zecora quirked an eyebrow and glanced sidelong at me before turning towards the others. “A doctor's care is always well and good, but you have yet to tell us why we should.”

Rarity walked over to me and placed a hoof on my shoulder. “That's right, Twilight. What's wrong with the poor dear? He seems perfectly fine to me.” She paused, and gave me a critical look. “Well, besides the obvious. Like how dreadfully skinny he is. And the horrible colors that have seeped into his coat. And would you look at that mane?” She shuddered. “He's a total disaster.”

Turning back to me, it suddenly dawned on her what she had just said, and she smiled sheepishly at me. “Um, no offense intended, of course...”

I gritted my teeth in irritation and forced the words through them. “None taken...”

She laughed nervously, patting me on the shoulder as she glanced side to side awkwardly. Luckily for her, Twilight took the opportunity to speak her mind.

Twilight's hoof stopped gesticulating wildly and she went cross-eyed for a moment as she had to rein her mind in. “Wh-What?” A short-lived look of confusion crossed her face. “Oh... Um. Right.” Closing her eyes, she concentrated and a pinkish glow of magic lit her horn.

In the hushed silence of the room, I could hear a rustle outside the still-open front door. Another saddlebag, this one a pale blue, which had been previously hidden by the door-frame like the first, fell over and spilt the quills and parchment it contained onto the cold forest floor. A book wriggled its way free of the bag before being levitated into the room. As it flew towards Twilight, it opened, pages flipping so quickly you could hear them whir. Reaching it’s destination, she placed a hoof on the newly opened page and traced a paragraph, her eyes scanning over the text.

“Aha!” she exclaimed, flipping the book around so everypony could see. “Look! Right here! According to my book, Indigo must have cerebral compression due to his concussion. I'm fairly certain this is due to a brain contusion with contrecoup and coup damage!”

An awkward silence filled the room again as everypony just stared at Twilight. I turned to look at Rarity, to see if she understood anything of what had just been said, but she just shrugged, as lost as I was.

Suddenly I heard a snorting noise off to my left. Pinkie Pie held a hoof to her face, eyes twinkling as she began to giggle. “Jeez Louise! That's a lot of C's!”

Twilight's cheeks flushed red as she moved the book off to the side. “Um, yeah... That's because that's as far as I've gotten... But its all true! I swear! The symptoms all fit!” She stomped her hoof in frustration, putting a visible dent in the wooden floor.

Fluttershy stepped timidly forward, looking over the hovering book. "Um, Twilight? What symptoms?"

Rainbow's wings swished through the air slowly as she hovered next to her. “Yeah, what symptoms? He seems fine! He's been kinda snippy and rude, but other than that...” She trailed off, shrugging, flying in slow circles around the others.

Twilight's voice grew more urgent. “That’s just it Rainbow, he's irritable! I know that doesn't seem important, and normally you'd be right. Alone, that could mean anything, but when you add in a headache, blurred vision, ringing in his ears, balance issues, and all the other problems he's been having since we arrived, it’s obvious!” She stamped her hoof on the floor in frustration. “Too obvious! Oh why didn't I see it sooner?!”

Fluttershy came over and softly placed a hoof on my shoulder. I turned to look at her only to find her looking deeply into my eyes, trying to see what Twilight had seen. I felt my face going red again, and quickly looked away, embarassed by all the attention. Balked, Fluttershy trotted back and began reading the book again. “Um, Twilight? I'm sure whatever it is, we've taken care of it. Zecora and I were very thorough when we were going over him, and I don't think we missed anything.

I felt my face flush even redder. Just what had she mean by that? Had something been done to me while I was out? I felt my anger growing again, but then what Twilight had just said resonated with me. Why was I so angry? Logically, I knew that there had been no innuendo there: Fluttershy meant it exactly as she said it, that she had tended to my injuries. I had no reason to be upset. Yet here I was, about to explode again.

Suddenly concerned, I shoved my irrational anger aside and spoke up. “Fluttershy, I think she's on to something. There's something very wrong here. My temper keeps flaring up out of control. I know you don't know me, so you'll have to take my word on this, but I am not an angry pony.”

Twilight nodded, a serious look on her face. “Exactly! And if I'm right, which I'm sure I am, then we need to get him to a doctor. Quickly.”

Applejack stepped forward, looking around at the others. “Can anypony tell the simple cowpony what in the hay all that fancy-speak is supposed ta mean? Please?”

Before Twilight could try and explain herself, Fluttershy stepped softly in front of her. “Um, she means he hit his head and is hurt really bad inside, where we can't see. And... well... she's right to worry. I mean... Zecora and I can't see whats beneath the surface.” She gave me a worried look. "We did our best..."

Twilight stepped forward, next to Fluttershy, who flinched back a little at the sudden movement. “That's what I said! He has a severe cranial injury!” She paused, and her eyes appeared to flash with inspiration. “Wait! Zecora! You have a potion for everything! You must have something to help with this kind of injury!”

Zecora looked thoughtful for a moment, then frowned. When she finally spoke, it was in a melancholy tone. “I know what is needed and there is a cure that I know, but its vital components were lost long ago. The herbs it would need are very rare, I cannot find them just anywhere. I had brought them with me from far away, knowing I would likely need them some day.” She pointed over the the wall, where several colored bottles were strung on vines. “They hung over there, safe above the ground, from curious critters who might nose around.” She turned back to the others and shook her head sadly. “Then a band of ponies broke down my door, and shattered my bottles all over the floor.”

Twilight gulped. “Wait, you mean... Oh my... Are you saying... we destroyed them, all those years ago, when we first met?”

Zecora nodded silently.

Twilight slumped, falling to a seat on the floor. The facial expressions of the other ponies changed to one of chagrin. Twilight sat quiet for a moment, then spoke quietly. “My gosh, I had forgotten about all that. So much damage, and over a simple misunderstanding...” She looked up at Zecora. “I’m so sorry...”

Zecora walked over and put a hoof on her shoulder, smiling softly. “Fear not Twilight, it is quite alright. The past is the past, and the anger did not last. I will admit, I threw quite a fit, but I do not regret it, not one little bit. For I made some new friends, and am no longer feared. Soon I would have moved on, had you not interfered.”

Twilight smiled hesitantly. “You... you really mean that?

Again Zecora nodded, then turned around and continued her earlier speech. “Many potions were lost on that fateful day, and my rarest ingredients were destroyed in the fray. Most of them I was able to replace, but of the ones we need, there has been no trace. If I had the materials I could mix up a brew, but I do not know where to look...” She paused and turned back to look at the assembled ponies. “Do you?”

The assembled ponies looked around between themselves, and each in turn shook their heads: No. Twilight sighed again, deeply. “We don’t have time for a scavenger hunt...”

Zecora smiled, and tilted her head. “Then what he needs has already been stressed: To see a doctor and get plenty of rest."

Twilight looked up in surprise: That had been her original plan, after all. She jumped up, and looked over at the others with a determined stare. “Well, you heard her! Why are we still standing around! We have to do something!”

And with that, chaos broke loose. Everypony started talking at once, each with their own crazy idea of how to get me to town quickly. I sighed: Not one of them had bothered to ask me if I felt up to making the trip. Instead of getting angry, this time I just felt sad, and slumped tiredly.

As they continued bantering amongst themselves, I began to worry. My hooves were still pressed tightly against my skull as I continued to massage my temples to relieve the pressure. I still had no idea what all those big words that Twilight had said meant, but it sounded serious. The pain in my head had just barely subsided to a tolerable level, and the stench of burnt bread had only just begun to fade. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes, trying to center myself and figure out what was going on.

Despite the risk, I tried to think back to what had started this most recent mess. What had I been thinking about when it started? Concentrating, I remembered that Rainbow had brought up the bullies from Cloudsdale. Right! She had said that she hoped they would get what was coming to them. And then I started remembering what had happened to them...

I waited for the memory to surface. Nothing happened.

Frowning, I focused harder. That couldn’t be right. I remembered... something. They had been making fun of me, just like they used to back in school. Then they said... something... I grimaced in frustration: I could see their mouths moving, but no sound came out. And then nothing, as even that scene faded. Why couldn’t I remember? Try as I might, no image appeared. At best, all that came to mind was a purplish glow.

This was strange. I turned my thoughts to the second occurrence. That one I was more sure about. I had been thinking about my office. Sanctuary. Home sweet home for so many years. I started to relax and smile as the image began to form...

An image of my childhood cloud cottage, high in the clouds.

My eyes popped open for a moment before I clenched them shut again. Why had that come to mind when I thought of home? I hadn’t seen that house since I was a foal. In fact, as I recall, they tore it down. Last time I had gone by, there was a store there that was selling high fashion. For the life of me though, I couldn't tell the purpose of the footwear they were selling. Whatever they were, they were definitely not made for hooves. They were shaped completely wrong.

I shook my head, which made me dizzy for a moment. Wrong train of thought. I wanted to think of my current home. As I focused, beads of sweat ran down my forehead. Again, nothing. I could remember all the things I had done there, but I could not for the life of me picture my room.

Growling as my frustration mounted, I tried another tack. I pictured myself standing in the cloud-making room. In my mind I could hear the giant machines rumbling and groaning, a constant white noise that I had grown to enjoy. Walking to the side of the room, I pushed open the door to the employee’s only area, revealing a long white corridor, lined with openings.

Turning to the right, I saw a sealed door. Mine was the first one, easily identifiable by the fact that it actually HAD a door. With a lock! My mind saw the humor in this, an old memory surfacing. The other employees had not been happy at first. The company had converted their old break room into a small apartment for me. The replacement break room was way down at the end of the hallway, and was missing many of the amenities the old one had included. That fact had gotten me many cold looks in the first few years. Yet another grievance against me and my life, I suppose.

Stepping back to reality for a moment, I opened my eyes. Wait, had I lost everything? Reaching into my mane, I searched around for a moment, before touching something cold and hard. Grabbing hold, I pulled out the large gold key I kept stashed there, braided into the hair. Somehow, after all I had been through, it was still there. Instead of happiness at this discovery, I felt another wave of sadness fall over me, and I began to tear up. I’d never get to go home again, would I? Was home even there anymore?

I wiped my eyes clear with my other hoof, replacing the key in my mane. No time for emotions. It was time to find out what was hiding behind that door. Placing my hooves together on the floor, I re-closed my eyes, bringing my mind back to the smooth cloud-formed door in front of me. Mentally, I levitated the key from my mane and pushed it into the lock with a twist. The tumblers spun and it unlocked with a heavy clunk. Taking a deep breath, both mentally and in reality as well, I placed a hoof on the cold, solid door, and gave it a push.

The door creaked open slowly, revealing a black interior. A deep darkness filled the room, which was strange, as it was made of white clouds. Pushing my head in, I felt a resistance in the air, almost as if I was shoving my head into a thick cloud. The further I went in, the harder it got to move forward, but with each step the room seemed to glow brighter, with a faint purplish sheen.

I gritted my teeth and kept pushing, putting one hoof in front of the other. The room got brighter and brighter, and the glow seemed to flicker. It was at this point that I could go no further. It felt as if I was to lift a leg one more time, the pressure against me would send me flying backwards. I could feel my headache growing, pounding, but I ignored it. Straining, I leaned forward, extending my neck. I needed to see what was there. I saw a glimmer of pure white light...

“Hey Fluttershy! What’s that humongous book called anyways?”

I winced, losing my focus as Pinkie's loud voice pierced my ears. A hoof involuntarily lifted, and I felt myself sliding backwards, just as I had feared. Mentally straining with all my might, I forced my head forward, leading with my horn. It nearly reached the light! It felt warm, and as I continued to push, it seemed to get hotter and hotter, until...

“The Competent Caretaker’s Complete Compendium of Cranial Crashes and Cracks?” Pinkie burst out laughing and fell over, rolling back and forth on the floor. “C’s! C’s! A Sea of C’s!”

The light exploded with a flash and I found myself thrown backwards with tremendous force. I tumbled out of the room in my mind, the door slamming shut, the lock disappearing. I got back up and banged on the door, despite the pain in my head. My efforts were once again in vain however: the scene soon blurred as everything faded to black.

My eyes snapped open, and I glared at the indistinct shape on the floor. Unable to restrain myself, I growled and snapped at the laughing pink blob.


The shape turned towards me, her eyes coming into view. Despite not being able to make out anything else, I could still see the eyes, plain as day, as they fluttered innocently.

“Yes, Indigo?”

I shook with anger, unable to restrain myself any longer. “You...”

It was then that the rest of the group turned to look at me, my shout having interrupted their discussion. I suddenly realized that it wasn't just her: everything had gone blurry. All I could see was large blobs of color moving towards me. Only one thing seemed to still be clear, and as a wall of eyes turned to face me, it began to involuntarily trigger another memory.

I flinched and shrunk back, shaking for an entirely different reason now. As the eyes drew closer, the pupils seemed to disappear, leaving nothing but cold, blank stares. I scooted backwards, trying to escape, but found my back pressed against something solid. I cried out, and covered my head with my hooves. “No! Go away! I don’t want to remember!” The dead eyes moved in and surrounded me, pressing me into the wall. “No! No!! Leave me alone!!” I began to cry out of sheer terror, unable to see, unable to escape.

Unable to resist any longer, I remembered.

And then promptly forgot, as everything faded to black.

When I opened my eyes again, my eyes instantly focused to crystal clarity, and I was able to see normally once again. What I saw, however, sent a chill down my spine.

I was back above the obsidian dome... or what was left of it anyway.

I slammed my eyes shut. No no no no no. I couldn’t be back, this place wasn’t real. It was just a hallucination of a fevered mind in some kind of coma... right? I tried to convince myself that when I opened my eyes again, I’d be back with the others, safe and sound, in reality.

Nothing changed when I opened them again. I was really back.

I closed my eyes again and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself. ‘Okay,’ I thought internally. “I’ve been here before, I got out before. I’ll be fine as long as I don’t panic.’

Slowly, I opened my eyes again. As they travelled over the broken surface before me, small pieces of the crystal shell continued to crumble and break away. It was quieter than before... no large pieces were breaking free, at least for the moment, so the rumbling and crashing had subsided. Looking down, I found I was seated on the glowing orb I had struggled so hard to reach. No longer giving off a blinding brilliance, its shine had faded to a dull bluish glow. I could see my reflection stretched over its surface, warping and distorting as the lights within swirled.

Suddenly, my reflection rippled and stabilized, it’s eyes shifting to lock with my own. A grin began to stretch across its face, as its pupils shrank to small dots.

‘Welcome back.’

The voice echoed in my skull, and I cringed, knowing what was coming next.

‘That’s right... You didn’t think you had gotten rid of me, did you? After all, our conversation was so rudely interrupted last time. Hopefully now that you’ve put so much effort into returning, we can continue where we left off.’

His smug tone grated on my nerves, but as he started chuckling, I knew I did not want to get into that situation again.

‘I don’t know what you are talking about. I didn't want to return here. I don’t even know where here is. And I definitely did not want to hear your ugly voice again, whatever you are. Jerk,’ I thought angrily at him.

‘Namecalling? Now, really...’ The chuckling faded, replaced by a mocking tone. ‘Oh come come now. You honestly still believe you got here accidentally? Pish posh. You knew that something was wrong, but you decided to probe deeper into the pain, rather than avoiding it. I mean really, what did you expect to happen? Sunshine and lollipops? Flowers and rainbows?’

I heard a mental snort. ‘As for where you are, I’m surprised you haven’t figured it out yet. I mean, come on, I know what you know, remember? And I’ve been able to figure out what this is for a while now.’ He laughed again, savoring his superiority. ‘This is your mental landscape, or something like that. Is it really that hard to tell?’ The image’s grin twisted and grew impossibly wide. ‘Not a pretty picture, is it? Just because you escaped, doesn’t mean it stopped collapsing. Based on what’s been happening out there, in the real world, you really don’t have much time left. Glad you stopped by for the big finale, though.’

My mouth went dry as I processed this new information. I didn’t know if I should believe him, but it felt right. I watched in stunned silence as another distant chunk fell free into the darkness below and swallowed heavily, a lump in my throat.

The image turned to look out over the scene below and began to chuckle again. ‘Won’t be too much longer now, the support structure’s almost gone. Wonder what’ll happen when it finally gives way?’ A hoof appeared and he tapped his chin thoughtfully. ‘You know, I should thank you. I’ve got a killer view from up here. Gonna be quite the show.’

The face twisted and looked back at me, its features stretching and warping into the face of a monster. ‘So. You just going to stay here and watch? Or are you going to try and do something about it?’

Shrinking back from the frightening image, my thoughts stuttered internally ‘Wh-What can I do? Tell me and I’ll do it!’

His gaping mouth fell open as he roared with laughter. ‘Hahahahaha! I love it when you’re scared! I find it especially amusing when you act so stupid! You really think I know the answer?’ The image seemed to move closer to me, staring me in the face. ‘I’m you, you dolt. If you don’t know, then I don’t know.’ He shrugged nonchalantly. ‘Guess we’re doomed.’

Twisting back to normal, he turned back to face the dome. A bag of popcorn appeared in his hoof and he started eating. ‘Oh well. Not like there’s anything you could do here anyway. It was nice knowin’ ya.’

As my reflection munched nonchalantly on his salty treat, I looked out over the scene below in horror. If what he said was right, then the final collapse of this place would mean the end of me! And of course, once again, I was helpless to prevent it.

I caught myself beginning to sigh and stopped, furrowing my brow. No, I thought to myself. Not this time! I would find an answer! I didn’t give up last time, and I won’t give up now! There has to be something I can do! Slamming a hoof down with determination, I nearly lost my balance as it sank slightly into the sphere.

"Whoa!" I said verbally, regaining my stabilizing myself. I looked down and pulled my hoof out with a sticky sucking noise. It finally popped free, the dent I had made slowly refilling itself, the orb returning it to it’s spherical shape.

It was like a light flashed above my head. I looked toward the twisted image of myself and focused my thoughts. ‘Hey, this glowing ball-thingy was the way out last time. Any ideas on why it’s solid this time?’

He groaned and glanced sideways at me. ‘How many times do I have to tell you, I know what...’ He trailed off, looking thoughtful. ‘Actually, now that you mention it, didn’t that Zecora chick mention something about not being able to wake up again if she gave you that medicine?' He let out a snort of laughter. 'Hah! And then you went and passed out like a wuss. Nice one!’

I waved a hoof at him distractedly. ‘Yeah, yeah, whatever. Thanks.’ Tapping a hoof on my chin, I looked closer at the sphere. I had thought it had dimmed, but upon closer inspection it now looked more as if it had been covered in something. Reaching back down with my hoof, I poked and prodded at it. It felt like some sort of plastic or rubber. As I rubbed the surface with some pressure, it produced a loud squealing noise, which really got the attention of my reflection.

‘Argh! What are you doing? Stop that! It hurts my ears!’ he complained, giving me a nasty look.

I chuckled and stopped. ‘You don’t have any ears, you’re just a hallucination.’

‘What, and that means I can’t have ears?’ A second hoof appeared and he rubbed his temples. Suddenly his eyes snapped open and he turned to look directly at me. ‘And what are you laughing about anyway? Laughing’s my job!’

I smiled, the first time I had ever done so in this place. ‘I’m laughing at you. And I’m smiling because I know what to do.’

He shrank back, suddenly unsure of himself. ‘That doesn’t make sense! I don’t have any idea, so how could you?’

I shrugged. ‘Not important, but either way: I’m getting out of here.’

I stood up and started hammering the surface of the orb with my hooves. Dent after dent appeared, some deeper than others. As I pressed deeper, I could feel the surface stretching, becoming weaker. Now it was my face that was grinning.

After a few minutes, my smile started to fade. I was sweating now and I couldn’t seem to press any further. It had distorted and stretched, but had not broken. I began to worry: What if Zecora was right? What if I really was trapped here?

Sensing my imminent failure, my reflection, now bent and contorted around all the impressions I had made in the sphere’s surface, began to snicker. ‘You know what to do. huh? Hah! I’ll give you this, it was a bold attempt, but you never were the sharpest tool in the shed. You would try to break through something stretchy with your hooves. I mean come on!’ Rolling his eyes, he turned away again, losing interest. ‘Eh, whatever. I’m bored. Just tell me when you’re done.’

Sighing, I slowed down, weariness taking over. Just as I was about to stop though, I had another brainstorm. Once again, it was as if a light flashed, but this time, my eyes were open. The flash had come from the orb itself, almost as if it was trying to help me.

Rearing up, I put my forehooves together and slammed them down into the deepest hole. They sunk deep, but beyond that nothing.

I had expected that.

Leaning forward, I put all my weight onto those hooves, keeping the surface from reforming. Then, with a grunt and a heave, I pulled my hooves apart with all my strength. Groaning and squealing, my hooves slid outwards, pulling the material tighter, creating a pocket in-between where the surface was so thin I could see it vibrating.

Eyes focused, I lowered my horn and, with a sudden movement, stabbed it into the opening. Thankfully, as with my mane, I hadn’t been keeping up with my normal routine, and it had grown a bit of a point. With that final thrust, my forehead slammed into the sphere: my horn had punctured the seal!

The relief was momentary: a violent shockwave blasted forth from the hole, knocking me loose. I stumbled backwards, forelegs flailing wildly, stumbling on my rear hooves. My balance lost, I twisted around, and tumbled face-first off the orb. As the swirling darkness below filled my vision, I screamed in terror.


Suddenly, I stopped falling. Helplessly, I stared down into the abyss, afraid to move. Glancing down, I could see my back hooves were still on the surface, but somehow I was horizontal, my forelegs dangling like limp noodles. Gravity doesn’t work that way! Slowly, jerkingly, I looked back over my shoulder to see what had caught me.

The orb had erupted with magical fury. A vortex had appeared from the spot I had pierced, glittering energy swirling and sucking in everything in reach... and my overly long tail had been its first victim. Another reason to praise poor hygiene! I sighed in relief, wiping the sweat of my exertion away from my eyes as my muscles relaxed. As they did so, my head slumped forward again. All I could see was blackness below me: a foreboding, inky darkness that looked like it could swallow your soul. Once again, I had been saved... somehow.

And then I felt a tug on my tail.

And then another.

Before I could react, and with no other warning, I was suddenly pulled backwards with tremendous force. Letting out a cry of surprise, I landed rear-first onto the now hoof-sized hole.

I let out another yelp as the suction pulled against my backside, gluing me firmly in place. In shock, I waved my splayed limbs wildly for a moment, but then froze as I heard a squealing noise growing in volume. With a sudden thunk, I sank deeper into the surface.

My eyes briefly widened in fear of something else going wrong, but then I remembered that this was what I wanted. A tingling ran up my spine as I felt the edge of the opening slowly begin to creep outwards. A smile grew on my face and I let out a whoop of joy as a second wave of force drew me in deeper.

It didn’t take long for all this action to garner the attention of my so-called reflection. Unable to hear anything above the roaring white noise the vortex’s energies were putting out, I flinched as his voice once again echoed in my skull.

‘Hey! What are you doing? What’s going on?!’ he cried, his image sliding back into view over the edge of the crater I was now laying in.

I grinned, seeing an opportunity to give back a little of what he had been giving me. ‘Oh nothing much...’ I replied smugly. ‘Just taking your advice. I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I am the sharpest thing in this crazy place, in more ways than one!’ Laughing, I pointed up at my horn. Reaching over, I patted the image on his head. ‘It was... nice... seeing you again.’

Growling, his lackadaisical demeanor disappeared in a flash. His eyes darkened as his expression turned into one of unbridled rage. Before I could fully take this in however, I felt myself slipping into the hole.

As my back legs disappeared into the light, and I began to slide downwards, I waved goodbye to my reflection. ‘Whoops, looks like it’s time to go. Bye!’

At this, the face of my reflection contorted in anger, his pupils shrinking into tiny specks. Letting out a piercing shriek, he raised his forelegs above his head and slammed them into his side of the reflection.

And the barrier shattered.

Time seemed to slow down as shards of what looked like broken glass flew around me. My mouth slowly fell open in shock as what appeared to be a horrible caricature of myself came forth from the opening it had created. Leaning out of the broken hole, it wrapped its forelegs around my neck. With one smooth motion, it twisted me around, dragging me back, choking me with unbelievable force.

My forehooves scrambled for purchase on its forelegs, trying to free myself from this death grip, but it was no good. It was like a vice had clamped itself around my neck and was choking the life out of me. In utter shock, I managed to squeak out “How... What ARE you!”

The voice that responded did not enter through my head, but rather through my ears, causing a shiver to run down my spine. This time, it was not my own voice that answered me. Perhaps it still was, but each word dripped with so much malice and hate that it sounded like nothing I had ever heard before. It sounded... evil.

“You know what? I honestly don’t know! I always just assumed I was your reflection, or a hallucination, since that’s what you thought I was. But you know what? Seeing what I just did, I think I’m a lot more than that. A lot more.” He pressed his face up against the side of me head, rubbing his face against mine, making my skin crawl. I could feel his twisted grin continue to grow as he whispered into my ear. “And you know what? I’m NOT going back. And now neither are you.”

My chest shuddered as my lungs spasmed for air. Bloodshot, my eyes began to roll back in my head, forelegs dropping to my sides as I lost the strength to lift them. As everything started going grey, I could still feel the pull increasing, stretching my spine, making the choke-hold even tighter. In desperation, I banged my head weakly against his, trying to get him to let go.

It was useless, he had all the cards. He began to laugh, an evil laugh that chilled me to my core. It wasn't until then that I suddenly realized that he was deadly serious. I was out of options. Either by choking or mental collapse, I was running out of time. As consciousness began slipping away again, I reached out mentally, begging whatever powers that be to save me. I wasn’t ready to die yet, I was never more sure of that then I was now. I wanted to live!

And with that, the orb responded, bursting into an intense bluish-white light that filled the void, much as it had before. My reflection screamed in pain, releasing my neck to clutch at his blinded eyes. That was all that was needed, for as soon as he let go, I fell free and disappeared, pulled into the light.

The last thing that I heard was him cursing loudly as everything faded away. “NO!!! I don’t want to go back! I won’t go back! Argh! Stupid orb! Let me go! Of all the stupid, idiotic...”

As I faded away, those words seemed to bounce around in my head, echoing much as his voice once had.

... stupid, idiotic...

...upid, idio...

...id, id...

...Id... Id...


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Comments ( 29 )

40566 There is also the cloudwalking spell shown in Sonic Rainboom.

Damn, that reflection guy is creepy. Just what the hell is going on in Indigo's Head? Can't wait for the next chapter Zolt, awesome stuff here.

Do you Have any Idea when the next chapter will be up? This story Is AWESOME :rainbowkiss:


This is great! im really enjoying it so far, intense stuff right here! please continue in creating.............DA MAGIKZ!:coolphoto:


*is repeatedly obliterated by the cannon and stumbles around blindly*

Bwuh? Whuh?

*falls over*

But I just finished... and then you... and then I... What? :applejackconfused:

More will be coming, I promise, but I promised myself after this doozy of a chapter I would:
a) revamp chapter 1 and 2 for another shot at getting onto EqD
b) Try and make myself an avatar in the same style as the cover picture I made (I know, I love shrugging ponies too, but I've got a picture in my head of my ponysona and I want to give it a shot.)
c) I'm also tempted to take a stab at drawing the scene at the end of the most recent chapter (you know which one I mean) But that all depends if I can picture it well enough, or how this avatar turns out. I may hold off on that for now.

The good news is that I've technically already started the next chapter. I had originally planned to have the next chapter and this one combined, but I realized that it would be far too long, and that this was a better stopping point, especially from a story standpoint. Even more good news is that when I was having issues writing, I storyboarded out the entire chapter, so I know what will happen the whole way through. Barring any more writers block ( I wonder if you can tell which part of the story gave me so much trouble... :rainbowhuh:), It should not be as long as a wait as last time.

Thanks again for reading!:twilightsmile:


Glad to have you here! Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it :twilightsmile:

Don't forget to rate when you do read! :twilightsheepish:

(I think the more good ratings I get the more likely readers are to find my story. But I would never pad my numbers. I just hope people enjoy it and rate.:twilightblush:)


Omigosh! You bringing up cloud walking made me remember that I had already brought that up once. Gah! I missed a continuity error! *fixes*

Thanks so much for reading, and I am very grateful you mentioned that :twilightblush:


While I would love to go on and on about everything that's going on in his head, I'm sure that pretty much anything I would say would be a spoiler. So I'll leave it to your imagination, for now :derpytongue2:

As for the next chapter, see my above comment. But it will be done, when it is ready. Same as all my chapters. :twilightsmile:

Hopefully sooner than later!


:raritycry: But... but... why would you want to? *sniffle* :raritydespair:

Hehe, glad you enjoy it! There's much more to come! :twilightsmile:


I'm very happy you enjoy my story. As noted in one of the comments above, the next chapter has been started and storyboarded, but I will be taking a short break to revamp the first few chapters, to take another shot at getting on EqD. After that, it will be a toss up between trying to draw something in flash, and working on the story. I have a feeling I'll go back and forth for a while. Don't want to burn out my writing brain after all.

TLDR; It will be done when it's ready, but hopefully not a long as a wait as this last chapter was!:facehoof:


You know I will! :twilightblush:

(though I must admit, I have no idea where da magickz are coming from. It's just a story in my head, and I am glad you think I tell it well.)

Thanks for reading and rating!:twilightsmile:


You do know that you can put all those replies in one post, right?


Yup, but I love all my readers and I think that, until I get overwhelmed, I should personally reply to each. :twilightblush:

Its more personal that way, and that way each knows they are appreciated seperately, not just some generic message to all my readers. Thats what the blog is for :rainbowwild:


No, as in you can put more than one reply in one post.




Like this.

Haha, no I didn't. Never been very good at these things. Dunno why, I'm not that old. Just never got into it I suppose.

I'll try and figure it out.



Just do the same thing you do for the original reply. The reply will be added to the post without making a new one automatically.

And you're welcome, I'm happy to help.

Ooops, sorry. I get a little carried away with my orbital cannons sometimes...
Uhhhh.... What kinda noise would a cannon like that make? :rainbowhuh:

Ok, this is prolly to late for you to read it but I gonna say it anywayz. (bad grammar intentional)

That's called a prologue, writers use it to give readers a basic idea of what's going to happen in a story so they can get into the action right away, I really don't know how it's cliche as it's a popular tool for most writers, even best sellers like Redwall, Terry Pratchett and The Lord Of The Rings, and most certainly not annoying, better than just leaping into the action or spending 60000 words explaining his life to us now eh?

When you say that the story would be better in third person I disagree, the writer chose to write it that way and that's his/her decision to make, besides, it would probably still be just as good in third person, just ever so slightly different. As to being sketchy and awkward I disagree to that also, I don't see why it's sketchy and awkward, seems fine to me.

Again, just a choice of preference, it would probably be the same either way. I think this way is better because flashbacks always seem cheesy to me and because it let's him truly show how he felt during the event.

I'm not trying to be mean but only to offer constructive criticism on your constructive criticism...
Did I really just say that?
Anyway don't take this the wrong way.

63061 mooB. Simple as that.
62269 Thank God! The next chapter is going to be so awesome. I know it. Also, if you kill Indigo, I WILL KILL YOU.
Have a nice day.

mooB? What in the hay does that mean?:rainbowderp:

80398 It's Boom Backwards.

(rumble rumble rumble)
.....OH! I get it, nice.
Also, it's spelled baws.

Y u no update?


Sorry! :fluttershysad:

I am not the fastest writer, and at times I get writers block. While I have the majority of the story planned out, the details get to me sometimes.

Also, I work full time, and the situation at work has been very stressful for quite a few months (understaffed, overworked, supervisor getting on my butt... I'm sure you know the drill). My muse has been rather uncooperative, probably related. Haven't managed to do anything major since the Christmas art I made for you guys over my 3 days off over Christmas (took 2 of my 3 days off to make it, but I really wanted to give you guys something special).

That said, I am plugging away at it. I was hoping to do the revamp on the earlier chapters first before I got to the new chapter, since I've been putting that off for ages and I'd love to get on EqD, but I know its been over a month since the last update, so I think I need to readjust my priorities.

I have some vacation time coming up, and I hope to get at least the rough draft of the new chapter done then. No promises though, it depends on my muse. I won't put out shoddy work.

But enough of my rambling. Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy what is to come. :twilightsmile:

are still writing?

Let me explain something to everyone:
Zoltrioundz has been working very hard to do everything he can to make the story awesome and has been working hard for around 3 months and is having a very hard time and is not doing too well with the whole writing thing, and we need to help. What I want everyone to do is post a comment saying 1 thing you liked the story and 1 reason you think he should continue, Ready?

1115297 i have to reread it then lol been so long i will get back to ya i was reading this before season 2 so i need a refresher

I'm sorry there still hasn't been an update. I haven't really wanted to admit this to people, but over the past year, I've found myself trapped in a depression, with no end in sight. The story still bounces around in my head, looking for a way out, but actually getting it written down has turned out to be glacial, and I haven't done anything artistic at all. Just work, sleep, and distractions from how crappy I find my life. I am now looking towards getting some therapy to help with the depression, and also finding more time to sit down and write, rather than my usual distracting myself from my depression with video games.

I know its not what you wanted to hear, but I am truly sorry to have left this as it is so far, and I do want to continue as soon as I can.

P.S. I didn't put this one as a blog post, as only 1 person even viewed the last one, heh.

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