As the Yearly Finale approaches, Twilight becomes informed that Princess Celestia is sick and has requested her to help Princess Luna in the rising of the new year's first Sun, which happens to be one of the biggest events in Equestria. Twilight is hesitant to go, because she wants to spend her first Yearly Finale celebration with her friends, but because of her friends' encouragement and support, she ends up deciding to help the princesses.
In order to help, however, Twilight must tap into a very special type of magic she discovers she has...
Chapters (1)
nice story, Well done.
Good story, some little writing issues here and there, but nothing overly obvious. Very much enjoyed reading this
4.5/5
Epic!
5 stars!
good story, nice premise, however i do want to note that the princesses, and twilight's speech feels forced in some places detracting from the story a little bit, still nothing to get antsy over 4 stars from me!
keep it up
I liked the story as Karrakaz pointed out the dialogue felt a bit stilted, not terrible, but it could use a little work. Hardest part of writing in my opinion so no shame in that. Only thing missing was Celestia answering some of Twilight's obvious questions. I'll admit I half expected Celestia's "sickness" to be feigned just to give Twilight a chance to prove herself.
Thanks for the feedback everypony!
A nice little one-shot, but I feel it leaves the subject of Twilight's 'Alicorn Magic' dangling a little too obviously. I'm not saying you should necessarily explain it, but for Twilight to specifically ask and get an answer of 'I will tell you later' brings attention to it and tells the reader they should be thinking about it. Given that Twilight brings the subject back up after the fact, I don't think the flow of conversation would have suffered without it.
(Bet you never expected such an analysis over a single line
)
And my jaw hits the floor.
Great work, here. Could be better, however. The worst mistake you made, though was... Drumroll please....
Calling AJ Apple Jack. It's all one word! Applejack!
Anyway. I agree wtih 104467, some of the dialouge was a bit... boring. Pinkie was great, but i'dve liked to see a little more involvement from the other mane 6.
Beyond that, not too many Spelling/Grammar errors. Always a good thing.
Keep writing, eventually you'll get the hang of this thing!
-The Librarian
personally i thouhgt that twiight would turn into an alicorn after the whole event, that would of ben awsome t read about. but hey your ending works too hehe way to go.