• Member Since 9th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 6th, 2017

keaton-furman-prower


Does anyone play the MLP mobile game? My friend code is a49657.

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When Luna becomes the unwitting test subject of an ancient spell she discovered, she gets more than she bargained for.

Now a male alicorn named Lucian, he is forced to wait for several months before he can go back to being the mare he once was. With the help of Twilight Sparkle, however, he realizes that his accidental transformation is not the curse he had believed it to be. Thanks to his new identity, he is able to move into Ponyville without being recognized, and gets to make friends for the first time in centuries, learning many important lessons along the way.

At the same time, however, Lucian must deal with his own long-forgotten personal demons; what can he do when his past begins to catch up to him? Can he protect those closest to him? And more importantly, can he even protect himself?

The answers, perhaps, may lie with his sister's greatest pupil... who may come to be far more than just a friend to him.

Note to readers: This story takes place between season 2 and season 3. Therefore, inconsistencies with season 3 canon may ocasionally occur. Consider it an "Alternate season 3," if you wish.

Cover by jamey4

Chapters (20)
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Comments ( 508 )

for the love of all pink and fluffy: that formating (or rather the lack of it) is so bad, you can't read it properly. To quote one of those flower-backround-ponies: "the horror! the horror!"
I will look again tomorrow and hope it's readable until than.

Edit: Oh hey, look at that. A first. Makes me now rather sad that my first "first" and your first comment is complaining. :twilightblush:

This promises to be interesting, great work so far

I enjoyed it a bit confusing at times but all in all enjoyable

1657085 "The Irony! The Irony!"

Don't worry, it's cool. I'm glad that people point out the flaws in my fiction so I can fix them.

I've redone the format. Hopefully it's not so hard on the eyes anymore.

1657456 Thank you.

1657459 Thanks. I'll try to make it less confusing.

Better, much better!
Now to comment on the story: Nice one. Good start for a nice romance.

But two things are bugging me.
1)Luna seems to aggressive. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think she would be so violent against a rabit, or that she maybe could beat up Pinkie Pie because of an unfortunate mishapen.
2) Lunas disguise doesn't make much sense. First of all, even without wings and flowing mane, she is bigger than BigMacintosh. And with that coloration, even as stallion, everypony with half a brain would be suspicies. Also, a sweater is even more wired. Nopony in Ponyville wears anything at anytime (besides work clothes).

Why don't use a little illusion spell, enchanted to an earring or necklace. That could show her smaller, without wings or horn and a diffrent colouration. Also could this spell hide the enchanted item itself. And if you want her to be herself when with Twilight, just make hear wear it only, if she goes out of the library.


Fazit: Tracking, let's see where this is heading.

1659943 1) She once tried to plunge Equestria into eternal Night. What's not aggressive about that? (not to mention how she freaked out everypony with the way she lost her temper on Nightmare Night)

2) The whole Idea behind the Enchanted hoodie is that it's specifically enchanted to prevent anypony with half a brain (or more) from realizing that Lucian resembles Luna. I admit that it's not the most glamorous explanation, but Superman was able to masquerade as Clark Kent by wearing a pair of glasses.

Also, keep in mind that Luna/Lucian hails from Canterlot. Lots of Canterlot ponies wear clothes. The Ponyville ponies may simply attribute Lucian's hoodie as a Canterlot thing.

And Bigger than Big Mac? Are you talking about Luna or Celestia? because Luna and Big Mac are about the same size (And Big Mac's a lot bulkier than her, so...)

There was this one time she spent the entire day stalking an old donkey just to befriend him, even though it was obvious he wanted nothing to do with him! I mean, it worked out fine in the end, but still...”

Unless Pinkie Pie was hit by the spell too, that "him" should be a "her"

1660603 Whoops. Thanks for pointing that out to me! (fixes it)

You have my attention, more please :twilightsmile: Also, fav'd and upvoted because I want to know what kind of trouble Luna/Lucian will be getting into

My o' my, this lil' wunda'ment has a hole lotta' promise. Lookin' fo'ward to this with great anticipation!

Now if Ah say so, Luna did seem a lil' off plumb in this chapta', but then again it seem'd ta me that it was jus' outa' her, oh' should Ah say; his own personal exhaustion. Still was fun ta read and Ah am looking fo'ward!

Poor Spike, getting messed with his head like that :derpytongue2:

Cue more crazy ponies.

1669311 Are you Cab Calloway? Can I have your autograph?

1669826

Now If'n Ah had half th' talent, Minnie; but no, sadly yo's truly is jus' a simple man that types idiomatically.

1669865 That's the bible? Dang. As you can see, I dig this jivin lingo like a pachuco.

1669875
Oh don' get this colt wrong, If'n Ah could croon like Cab, Ah most certainly would!

Haha! Underworld reference for the win!

I like the little awkward moment you put at the end of this chapter, it will be interesting to see how this new Luna interacts with the rest of the mane six when she meets them. so far this is a good read, I'll look forward to reading more

1670176 I was wondering whether anyone would get that reference!

Silly Lucian... You can never run from the crazy in all of us... :pinkiecrazy:

1670486

Now now then, were's the fun in breakin' idiom? If'n ya' can't understand th' phoneticiscm, then don' go hurt'n ya head to.

Jus' know I like your story.

I like this story! I did happen to notice a few misspellings. soething, abut, and pother.

“Is there soething wrong with that?”
“Well, I don't know abut your friends,”
She never imagined that somepony pother than Celestia

I believe I may know a possible ending to this story, discovered through deep thought; but as Doctor knows, 'timelines, parallel universes, "wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey"...'; which essentially means there are many outcomes, but I see an obvious one... but, NO SPOILERS!!! :pinkiecrazy:

Great fanfic, love r63 when it doesn't turn into a steaming pile of horseapples, so good job. :scootangel:

Also, why couldn't Lucian raise the moon from Ponyville? Is it a Canterlot job, is the sweater a magical barrier of some sort, or is Celestia a troll :trollestia: ?

1679545 1) Speculate as much as you want. This will take a while before it finishes.

2) Thanks! And a lot of r63 does mingle with r34, does it not? (Don't worry, no clop will be seen here)

3) He's trying to pass as a normal pony. Do normal ponies move celestial bodies? (Alternatively, Celestia took over his duties so he could focus on meeting other ponies and making friends.)

1683541 Fair enough, I must have overlooked the main point of him going to Ponyville in the first place... :facehoof:

Read the first four chapters.
All I can say is that...
Dis gon be gud.
4.5/5 so far, the writing is fantastic, the other .5 is on back order.
I only give final ratings once I gain diabeetus from the pure sweetness of a story.
Cannot wait to see the rest!
:eeyup:

I love gender bending stories, and this one shows quite some promise. I shall investigate at once!:rainbowdetermined2:

The reference to Underworld was really well done, and that exchange between Twilight and Smarty Pants was hilarious. But the real stand out in this chapter was Luna's internal conflict about her past relationship with Nightmare Moon. I always love it when authors go into what Luna was feeling during that time, and I thought your twist on it was fun.:twilightsmile:

That outfit...is really really weird. :applejackunsure:

Aside from that, I think it's flowing pretty well.

1827856 Thanks. I enjoy r63 too, especially given the limited number of male ponies.

1828097 That will get explored even more later on :twilightsmile:
Also, I enjoy putting in little things like that. It's part of what makes writing great :twilightsmile:

1828305 Thanks. I don't know how the outfit was weird, but... whatever :twilightsmile:

I don't know if it's been said before or not, but Luna's gender swap feels like an aside in the story;other than pinkie pie there hasn't been any difference in the treatment of Luna in either gender. One of the staples of these kinds of stories is when they get invited to be a best man/bridesmaid, or something that really sets the two genders apart.

Again, this chapter was done pretty well, and I liked the addition of The Doctor and Derpy into the mix. Also, Luna confusing Spike was funny.:rainbowkiss:

So Luna fell in love with somepony named Dusk Shine... I call ancestral uncle, I.E, the brother of ones ancestor.

Fun story so far, with a nice twist on the usual Twilight shows Luna around plot line. I look forward to seeing where you go with it!

O... Kay... Still not sure why you didn't go with Artemis, but okay...

“Morning spike. What are you doing?”

Spike needs to be capitalized.

There's no gender-bender funny business at all!

I was expecting Applejack to hit on Lucian or something like that.

I have to wonder if Celestia really loves to see ponies struggle whilst she's in the stands

I wonder what will happen when Celly finds out her broth-sis I don't fricken know! What will she do when pony gets feelings for her student?

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