What do we have here? Another story I need to tell? Sure, sure. Go ahead. Keep making me spend my precious time on these little tales. It’s not like I have anything better to do in my spare time, right? I mean, I’m the narrator, right? That’s all I am to you, right? Right? Right? It’s tough, I tell you. I didn’t sign up for this. Having to dispense this many stories. Ah, whatever. Complaining gets me nowhere, I guess. I just need to do what I’m told, because if I don’t I’m out of a job. And I need my job. I got a narrator family to feed and whatnot. We’re called The Narrators. Get it? You get it?
Hmm, might as well get started. So what story do I have to tell now, huh? It most likely has to do with Spike the baby dragon, I’m betting. Seriously, it’s like I’m just tied down to that kid or something. Spike’s this, Spike’s that. At this rate, we’re going to have a whole harem lined up for just Spike. Lucky bastard.
Whoa. Wait a minute. What was that? Oh, hold on, you want me to tell you THAT story? Really? Hah! Then why didn’t you say so earlier? That story is hilarious! Okay, I’m pumped now. I can have a lot of fun with this one. And I’m not going to hold back. I’m going all out with my narrating skills. If it’s about Spike’s romantic adventures with that pink party pony, then there’s nothing but a fun time ahead. Because, let’s face it, when it comes to Pinkie Pie…
That bitch is crazy.
Spike’s Pinkie Pie
Spontaneity had always been a dominant characteristic of Pinkie Pie. She was the great party pony of Ponyville, after all. Quite possibly the most festive creature in all of Equestria. Randomness was the name of that pink pony’s game, and there was never a second when Pinkie Pie’s behavior faltered from the line of unpredictability. It was an aspect widely appreciated, because oftentimes her actions produced an array of smiles and laughs. Hosting a new celebratory bash ever few days, singing and dancing at any opportune moment, and providing fresh entertainment to audiences all around made up most of Pinkie Pie’s daily life. And she was proud to be able to distribute her services. For the world deserved to be as happy as she was.
However, at this current time, Pinkie Pie was not so elated. The pink pony’s close friends were acting rather secretive around her. And if that weren’t enough, they were also spewing out obvious lies in order to cop out of a party she had recently planned. Gummy’s After-Birthday Party was going to be an absolute blast, but it seemed nopony wanted to be a part of it. But why? Why didn’t anypony make an effort to attend the after-party? Did they actually dislike her parties? Were they sick of them? That must have been it, right? Her friends must have hated her parties! Despised them, even. Then that meant they also despised Pinkie Pie as well! That was the only answer to everypony’s surreptitious conduct.
Of course, as we all know, that was in no way the case. Because unbeknownst to the paranoid pony, her friends were in the middle of preparing her surprise birthday party. Pinkie Pie coming up with another party during the same afternoon was an unfortunate occurrence, but the rest of the gang was sure she’d be satisfied with a bash dedicated to her. They’d have to attend Gummy’s After-Birthday Party at a different date. As long as Pinkie Pie ended up stunned at her very own surprise party, everypony will have done an exceptional job of concealing its existence. Oh, the shock on her face!, Twilight Sparkle, the original planner, thought. Priceless!
Meanwhile, at a festively decorated Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie was readying herself to interrogate an individual whom must have been in the loop. Yes, it was Spike. According to Pinkie Pie, Spike knew exactly what was going on with their friends, and she was going to find out everything once and for all. She just needed a reward for the young dragon. Give him an incentive, and he’ll talk!, Pinkie Pie figured.
“Wow. Nice spread!” Spike rubbed his hands in anticipation, eyeing the pan of jewels on the table before him.
“It’s all yours, Spike.” Pinkie Pie confirmed, smiling innocently.
Spike was very happy. Yup, as simple as that. The reason he was so happy didn’t ride solely on the fact that a spread of glimmering stones awaited his tongue. It was basically due to Pinkie Pie’s seemingly benevolent intentions that Spike’s heart palpitated. Truthfully, Spike liked Pinkie Pie. And I mean he liked-liked Pinkie Pie. He wasn’t in love with her, unlike how he was in love with Rarity. But he was definitely attracted to Pinkie Pie. And it had taken a long while for Spike to finally admit this to himself.
Spike had fallen in love with Rarity at first sight. The purple-maned unicorn was the crème de la crème of his life. The ultimate beauty of the entire land. To the baby dragon, nopony could come close to comparing to her in terms of majesty. Though there were ponies that came close to coming close to comparing to Rarity. Pinkie Pie wasn’t elegant. She wasn’t refined or stylish, neither was she fashionable in any sort of manner. But there was a certain grace about the pink earth pony. Spike could see it. Every little thing she did was exquisite its own way. Whether they were her bright smiles or her intermittent bouncing, Pinkie Pie was flawless in her execution. Spike had noticed, and after two months of their first meeting he found himself a little nervous when he was in her presence.
She was also cute in her own way. Spike found her messy, raspberry mane to be kind of adorable. And her large, light cerulean eyes were always so catching.
Yet these sentiments baffled the baby dragon. It’s not like he was going to pursue her, not like for Rarity. Because the first prize was on his agenda. He desired the gold! Not the silver. So when it came down to it, Rarity the unicorn was his love, while Pinkie Pie the earth pony was his interest. And that’s how he wanted it to remain. But right now Spike was being offered a whole variety of mouthwatering stones! It was so difficult to not find Pinkie Pie’s sudden generosity attractive. No wonder he liked her, right?
Again, as we all know, Spike’s a sucker. Because he was completely ignorant of the situation he was in. Instantaneously, his tail was caught in Gummy’s toothless jaws. After the lights mysteriously dimmed and a blinding lamp stared directly into Spike’s face, Pinkie Pie began her grilling.
“All you have to do is talk.” Pinkie Pie said sternly.
Wait. What did she just say? All Spike had to do was talk? Talk about what?
Spike rubbed his eyes to adjust to the lighting. “Uh, I don’t get it. What do you want me to talk about?”
“You know what I’m talking about. I know you know what I’m talking about. I’m talking about you talking about what I know you know what I want you to talk about. So talk!” Pinkie Pie demanded.
What was this all about? Spike had no idea. All he knew was that a dish of jewels were aching to be in his stomach. So he might as well start talking.
“S-sure. I’ll talk.” Spike stood up on his chair, contemplating. “Um, okay. I got one for you. Did you know that when you swallow chewing gum it stays in your digestive system for seven years? That’s a lot of years, huh? I read it in a book just recently.”
“Really? Cool! I swallow all my gum! So I guess there’s a little gum party going on in my belly right now!” Pinkie Pie giggled for a second before shaking her head vigorously. “No! No! You’re in serious mode, Pinkie Pie! This is an interrogation, remember?”
“Interrogation?” Spike repeated, watching Pinkie Pie reprimand herself.
“Yes, an interrogation! Now start talking!” Pinkie Pie readdressed her attention towards Spike.
“But I’ve been talking!” Spike defended himself worriedly.
“Talk about something else!” Pinkie Pie gritted her teeth menacingly.
“Okay, okay! Uh, how about this?” Spike racked his brain for a new topic. “Knock-knock.”
“Who’s there?” Pinkie Pie replied automatically.
“Beats.”
“Beats who?” Pinkie Pie’s right eye twitched.
“Beats me. Heh, heh.” Spike shrugged. “Get it? Because I said ‘beats’, and then you said –“
“NO!” Pinkie Pie screamed, frustrated. “You’re not understanding me! I want you to confess!”
“Confess?” Spike pushed himself against the seat.
“Confess!” Pinkie Pie pulled the lamp closer to Spike.
Spike knew he had been caught. He couldn’t believe she had found out. How did she even know? How was that even possible? He made sure nopony knew about it! This couldn’t be happening! Was Pinkie Pie some sort of mind-reader? Why was she so adamant on pressing Spike’s buttons, anyhow? Did she really care this much?
Spike spat it out. “I have a naughty magazine hidden in the Library! I look through it almost every night, and sometimes I rub in between my legs until something appears and grows really big! Somehow deep down I knew Twilight wouldn’t approve, but I just kept rubbing and rubbing until some stuff came out! I’m so ashamed!”
“And?” Pinkie Pie pressed on.
What did she mean ‘and’? Wasn’t that what she wanted? Unless…Oh, no. Not that. There’s no way she knew about that! Never in his life did Spike even consider confessing about that! Pinkie Pie must have known all along. It was over for Spike. There was no escape in sight. Only the sad reality of his pathetic admission.
Spike spilled the beans. “I have a picture of Princess Celestia’s butt that I secretly took! I stare at it constantly, and I pasted a photograph of Rarity’s head on the butt! I mean, her butt’s so huge! How can you not just take a second glance at it? I know! I am disgusting! She is our Princess! If she finds out, I’m going to be banished! And Twilight! She’s going to freak! Please, don’t tell anypony! I beg of you!”
“AND?”
She wasn’t yielding, was she? Pinkie Pie’s unrelenting questioning exasperated Spike. The only other secret Spike kept to himself was…his interest in Pinkie Pie. That was it. And that was what she was most likely after. The time to lay out his budding feelings was now. Knowing Pinkie Pie, she wasn’t going to give up her inquiring until Spike confessed. He realized that if he had to do it, then in solitude with Pinkie Pie and Gummy was probably going to be his best case scenario.
Are you sure you want to say it, Spike? Once you do, there's probably no turning back.
Spike broke under the pressure. “I like you, Pinkie Pie! I like-like you! I think you’re really cute and funny! I’m sorry if that bothered you! I didn’t know you were going to find out!”
You chump. You're in for it now. Welcome to the insanity that is Pinkie Pie.
There was silence. Pinkie Pie’s mouth gaped, thoughts racing through her mind at exponential speeds. Spike liked-liked her? She didn’t expect that. But as surprising as it was, she didn’t really mind it. This was the first time anypony had ever confessed to her. What was she supposed to do now? Pinkie Pie wasn’t so sure.
“You really like-like me, Spike?” Pinkie Pie pulled the lamp away. “You’re not lying to me?”
“I’ve already told you everything else, so why would I lie now?” Spike answered guiltily. “I know, I know. You probably hate me now.”
The brightness in the room returned to its previous state, illuminating their surroundings.
“Silly Spike! I don’t hate you.” Pinkie Pie beamed. “In fact I’m flattered!”
“You’re…flattered?” Spike asked in disbelief.
All day Pinkie Pie felt she had been deceived by her so-called best friends. Therefore, receiving a sincere truth at this specific moment was satiating. Pinkie Pie’s anxiety levels were dramatically lowered by Spike’s unexpected announcement of his affections, and she experienced extreme thankfulness towards the baby dragon as a result.
It could have been the stars having been aligned correctly. It could have been Spike's pheromones going wild. It could have been Pinkie Pie's own tendency to be impulsive. It could have even been, that at a time of distress for Pinkie Pie, Spike confessed at just the right moment. Maybe Pinkie Pie needed some support for her troubles. Either way, what the pink earth pony said next to the baby dragon still renders me dumbfounded.
And I'm the freakin' narrator, for crying out loud!
“Let’s make it official then!” Pinkie Pie nodded excitedly. “Spike, I’m your marefriend now!”
“What now?” Spike sputtered blankly.
“Let’s have a lot of fun, okay?” Pinkie Pie bounced giddily. “Gummy, did you hear that? Spike and I are going out!”
“Huh?” Spike went slack-jawed.
“If we’re dating now, then we have to go on a date soon! Oh, I know! We’ll have a party! A party announcing our new relationship! There will be music and cake and dancing and singing and everypony’s invited!” Pinkie Pie shrieked animatedly.
“Eh?” Spike’s eyes glazed over.
“What do ponies usually do when they date? Kissing is always a sign of dating, right? We’ll start it off with some kissing, and we’ll work our way from there!” Pinkie Pie put a hoof to her chin, pondering aloud. “Yes! Yes! There’s a whole new world out there for us to explore! This is going to be so much fun! I can’t wait!”
Spike finally snapped out of his daze. “H-hold up, Pinkie Pie! What are you saying all of a sudden?”
“We’re dating now, Spike!” Pinkie Pie peeked over to Gummy. “Gummy, let him go now. He’s free to go.”
Gummy released his bite on Spike’s extended tail.
“L-let me get this straight.” Spike put a hand up to Pinkie Pie. “You want to be my marefriend? Just like that?”
“That’s right!” Pinkie Pie laughed. “If you don’t believe me, you can just ask the narrator! Isn’t that right, narrator?”
She’s not jerking your chain, Spike. Get on that ass.
Spike looked from side to side, confused. “W-Who are you talking to, Pinkie Pie? There's nopony here but us."
Acting like I don't exist, huh? Sometimes I just want to punch your teeth in, Spike. Jerk.
It's Pinkie Pie's turn, everypony! Yet another ship I believe should be better explored. In the next installment: The real surprise is revealed at Pinkie Pie's surprise party. Spike's Pinkie Pie will contain mature humor. Hope you enjoyed this. :)
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/35548__safe_pinkie-pie_spike_animated_ice-cream%20(1).gif
The humor is augmented.
Fun!
i love it... ship twilight next...
Here we goo woohoooo
Awesome as always! I've come to expect epicness from any story you upload
I think you're supposed to tag as mature if you have sexual references and adult humour.
But nonetheless, pretty good. The addition of sexualism was unexpected, and I am curious to see how far you take it and how it performs.
Brilliant. This is gonna get amazing.
29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lltzgnHi5F1qzib3wo1_400.jpg
Im favoring this
So much YES!!! To think I just stumbled upon your Spike's Rainbow Dash (love it) yesterday and now this! I am going to enjoy this.
_
Oh god I cant quit smiling!
1493536
Humor undergoing augmentation is a good thing, yes? Hahaha. Thanks for the comment, my friend!
AWESOME
All I can say is that this is an instant fav and I need more.
I was gonna do the whole "Well that escalated quickly" meme but then I remembered that Pinkie Pie
Oh, Narrator.
Don't worry, we still love you.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway:
i1.sndcdn.com/artworks-000028287991-gkbzqx-crop.jpg?04ad178
IT HAS ARRIVED, YES! IT HAS A GREAT START, YES! I NEED MOAR, YES!
All that aside:
I have the same comment for both of those sentences. That is, I don't think you can put a comma after an exclamation mark.
.
Think you may be missing a word here. Every little thing she did was exquisite in its own way, perhaps?
Damn it! You beat me too it! Oh well, I'll give this a read later. Good job on the feature, amigo.
Okay are you going to reupload Spike's Daring Do as well, now that you got started on this story? Just to simply have it there?
This is gonna be funny i just know it.
oh my god...
Woot!
I'll laugh so hard when coincidentally Twilight finds the magazine and pics.
I I favorited this before I even read it, beacause I knew it would be good., and it was AWESOME!
1493907
Thanks for the edits, my friend. When it comes to the commas, however, I've found that one is able to place one after a declarative punctuation mark if one is referring to a thought. This method I rarely used, due to the fact that most use italics to create thoughts.
In all my stories I've used the same method to display thoughts. :)
Thanks for the comment! The Narrator was touched. I was told so. Hahahha!
Ahaa you can never have enough Spike
<--- Pimp
MallaJong your fiction never fails to make me laugh
1494047
If you find my pieces comedic, then I am satisfied! Thank you for the comment, my friend! I am so happy you enjoyed this one! Yeah!
i.imgur.com/7coCy.gif
We seriously don't have enough SpikePie fics out there! Hope to see Twilight or Fluttershy shipped next with Spike.
1494069
Seriously, bring on the SpikePie fictions! Let's get sexy in this house!
i.qkme.me/352nvk.jpg
Dude. Your spike fics just keep coming! My god!pinkie.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/133790483226.png fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/344/e/0/do_you_know_who_you_talking_to__by_johnjoseco-d4ioy7g.png
OMIGAWSH!!!
BEFORE I READ... ah wanna say that this idea is sooo KEWL~!!! :3
1494045 Welp, I guess you do learn something new everyday. Wouldn't have known that about commas.
1493566
I thank you, my friend! Your expectations shall not falter! I just try to write stories I want to see come into existence. Hahaha! It really all started with Spike's Rainbow Dash, I guess.
I was laughing like Scotty throughout the whole chapter!
Favorite!
I think Spike might be about to have some sort of mental breakdown..... dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Spike_lolface.png Oh well, he'll get over it!
Pinkie/Spike is easily my second favourite Spike shipping, nice work MallaJong, that was awesome! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_dayum.png
1494104
What can I say, dude? Spike's a pimp. He deserves all the mares!
chzbronies.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-the-side-effects-of-being-spike.jpg
...strange writing style.
Was that build-up for a joke? Where Pinkie breaks the fourth wall...?
*stares blankly*
The premise is interesting... I think I'll fav for the updates.
Hopefully this story doesn't become a bad joke (i.e. that story "Pinkie goes on a Diet").
This story has potential... to be something amazing.
I agree, GET ON THAT ASS BOY!
1494165
Hahahahahahaha! I love that laugh! Thanks, BronyCup! Your comment had me laughing once again!
Pinkie Pie is best pony.
So, have a mustache
Oh god his confessions...
And Pinkie's Pinkieness.
That's it, this is faved, liked and tracked. Oh, and the typical s I give out to good stories.
Spike liked-liked Pinkie Pie but loved Rarity, dang Spike's got swag I'll give him that much, having feelings for two mares wohoo you go Spike!
1494069 You're right there aren't a lot of SpikePie ships out there, that's why it's so special.
(Look someone has made a YouTube Video of this couple which I shall now upload)
I nominate Mallajong to being King of Spike Shipping on FIM:Fiction.
The reason why he should be named King of Spike Shipping is because he uses absolutely no clop in any of his stories while still making them exciting to read! Maybe some adult humor here and there, but... that's forgivable.
Anyway here is your crown.
polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=l&tid=15255427
...Sorry due to cutbacks we had to "downgrade" our crowns to this. Also here is a triple whopper with cheese.
thumbs.ifood.tv/files/images/Triple_Whopper_with_Cheese_-_one_of_unhealthiest_fast_foods.jpg
Enjoy those calories!
1494204
That was hilarious! Thanks for the comment, my friend! :)
Love it
Hold on, are you going to do shipping fics with Spike and each one of the ponies? Because I'd like to see that.
1494097 I smell potential clop fic.
1494204 Cool!
1494216
What an honor! I cannot believe it's come to this! Oh, no, here come the tears! *Sniff* *Sniff* I am just so happy!
But you couldn't throw a Subway Sandwich my way? Really? I'm a Veggies guy!
img1.findthebest.com/sites/default/files/530/media/images/Subway_6_Veggie_Delite_Sandwich_1.jpg
Hahahahahahaha! Thanks for the comment! I laughed hard!
1493541
The many levels of wrong that is SpikeLight...
You are basically shipping mother and son.
I think you mean every few days.
Yay my first correction ever!
Getting a confession out of interrogation wow I am so surprised no one has ever done that before(for all I know) even in mangas or anime you are a righting God!
1494193 That's why they pay me handsomely.
Cause all your previous works didn't have enough Fourth-Wall-Breaking, you had to do Pinkie Pie.