The Tale of Josh the Upright Elongated Gorilla

by Electro-Static

Josh's Diary First entry "Stating my Assumptions"

Entry #1 Stating my assumptions, Am I awake or dreaming?

I am making this journal in an attempt to stay sane, or at least to track continuity this peculiar situation. I do now know whether I am awake or dreaming but I will consider both as possibilities until I can find positive proof of one or the other.

The situation is as follows I have woken up a strange world find myself surrounded by colorful talking creatures that call themselves “ponies”, some of which have telekinetic powers, wings, and mind control abilities. (I know this because all of the above were used on me or in front of me while a couple of these creatures sewed up my shoulder with a needle and freaking thread against my will) While Normally I would write this off as a dream there is a level of consistency (and the level of pain) that I have not experienced while dreaming, namely the fact that aside from my leatherman I still have everything (even the fucking failed midterm) with me that I had before this "dream" started. (actually one of the creatures living here retrieved my backpack). Additionally I have sustained injuries(from a crazy monster no less) that continue to persist quite painfully.

I would like to start by stating my immediate observations under the assumption that this world is not a figment of my unconscious mind.

I can assume that the elements up until at least bismuth exist and share identical or highly highly similar nuclear and chemical properties to the ones on earth. The evidence of this is that I have not died horribly due to the properties of the atoms in my body changing chemical properties or disintegrating due to different laws governing atomic physics. The laws of physics must be the same or similar due to the previously stated facts, as well as the fact that my electronic devices are in working order (one small change in atomic physics and BAM! Microprocessors don't work anymore). That being said I don't know of any physical explanation for the “magic” that the “Twilight Sparkle” creature who is currently lodging me at her residence has used on me. From what I can gather it is an entirely separate type of force from anything on earth, or at least anything we can measure on earth. Whatever it is, it was used on me and can be controlled at will by the creatures living here.

Onto notes about this place.

This place is called “Equestria” and the colorful equine residents both speak and write in plain English, hell I've yet to hear a non American accent. The two “ponies” I have met so far since I've come to be here are:

“Twilight Sparkle” is the creature whom is currently lodging me in her library-tree-house residence (I'm not going to started on the impossible architecture here). From what I can gather she is either a scientist, or a scholar, or both. She has asked me many questions in the manner that an anthropologist would, and seemed to be able to pick up fairly quickly that I am not from around wherever this place is. Twilight Sparkle is the “pony” that pinned me down with “magic”and forcible operated on my injured shoulder. From what I can gather she is letting me stay here in order to study me, which given my status here is a lot more reasonable than anything that would be awaiting any of these “ponies” back home. Needless to say I hope that I am not eventually vivisected. If anything I hope that she can answer some of my questions about the nature of this place.If I need to I have bargaining chips with her, she can't seem to fathom how my ipod and laptop work so I can hold that knowledge over her head as a way of preserving my own life should these “ponies” prove to be as cruel in their curiosity as humans been in the past.

“Fluttershy” is a yellow “pony” with wings who allegedly saved my life from whatever the hell attacked me and gave me this nasty shoulder wound, she has a hypnotic stare that she used to pacify me when operating on my arm, and I assume that she used it on the thing that attacked me as well.(note to self don't look into her eyes) “Fluttershy” appears to be a shy creature and it was difficult to get her to say much to me but she supposedly saved my life, and seems to be a creature worth getting to know and thank in some way (not to mention that she seemed to stick up for letting me rest when the purple one(twilight) wanted to question me). My primary interest in her presently is that she knows the place where I supposedly arrived here. I would like her to take me there despite the danger it is the last memory in my mind that is presently and physically unaccounted for.

Regarding the biology of the creatures here, They are mammalian and are at least as intelligent as humans and eat a vegetarian diet that I can tell (as well as baked sweets evidently.) Which is a relief because it means that more than likely I will not end up as dinner. The vegetables that I have seen here so far seem analogous to the ones back home and that I know of are not toxic to eat, I will have to be careful thought lest anything edible to the natives of this strange land be toxic to humans. (note that this point as well as other similarities on this front are supporting evidence for this being a dream.) Creatures here cook their food which might be for flavor or for sanitary purposes (the cooked food that I have tasted so far was amazing) that being said, it might be a good idea to only eat cooked things as I could get poisoned by some strange type of microbe against which I have no immunity.

The oddest creature that I have met so far is a short reptile or “dragon” named spike who seems to derive sustenance from gemstones, in terms of thermodynamics and physical properties this is nearly impossible (I can't imagine anything in a living animal's stomach dissolving corundum) unless gemstones here are either chemically different from ones back home, or have some additional property that contains a form of energy.

Regarding “ponies” Twilight Sparkle told me on my way here that there are 4 different types of ponies
Twilight is a “Unicorn” pony which can use “magic” through her horn. Evidently they can study “magic” and learn to control it with practice, there are entire schools dedicated to this according to her. I don't understand how this works, but fortunately I currently residing in a library (for now) and if the books are in English I perhaps can investigate “magic” more.

“Fluttershy” is a “Pegasus” type of pony which can fly and evidently also control the weather in this place (I have no idea how this would be remotely possible, if anything this points to this place being a dream, as for the reason why I would dream of candy colored talking equines is beyond my understanding)

The third type of “pony” is called an “earth pony” From Twilight's descriptions they seem to most closely resemble ponies back home, and grow the food here because they have a special “connection” to the earth. If you as me it seems like they get the shaft end of the deal they can't fly or do “magic” which in any realistic situation might make them a social sub class, if not perhaps “pony” psychology is different from that of human beings.

The final type of “pony” are called Alocorns, they have both a unicorn's horn and a Pegasus's wings according to Twilight Sparkle, and hold a special status as gods/rulers of this place's society. Twilight Sparkle kept mentioning how she was going to have to write a letter to “Princess Celestia” the “Ruler Of all Equestria” about finding me, then she continued to ramble on about two other “princesses” at which point she lost me, leading me to the conclusion that she is either very well connected, crazy, or a figment of my imagination.

On the subject of society I suppose I could make some notes on what I have observed about the level of sophistication in technology for this place, at least the level that I have observed walking through the town at night to “Twilight Sparkle's" place of residence.
The creatures here are not primitive although the technology here is at least a century behind earth's. There are printed books in the library as well as some manufactured products in the kitchen. I will definitely be on the keep my eyes open to see exactly what level of technology is present here, I want to see if I can get an electricity source to charge my laptop and ipod.

Well it is getting cold out and I don't have a shirt or jacket that I can wear comfortably due to the wound in my shoulder and the wound in my shoulder and the effect on my cloths that getting it had.
(I don't ever remember having a dream this consistently uncomfortable or painful), I'm going to try and get a blanket, and then go to “sleep” my shoulder is hurting me and I am eager to see if I will wake up in a hospital bed tomorrow and have this strange experience over with. If not I have a lot of investigating to do tomorrow.

-Josh R. Galliano

Comments

[Jack-Pony]

Will we be getting a 'Long' Chapter soon?

[Blue Tunes]

What is this fic? I like it. ANOTHER!

[Electro-Static]

1686481
1687201

thanks guys T_T

[Jack-Pony]

1687279 Your story, it is like the crack! MOAR!

[WorldWalker128]

'English' clearly wasn't this guy's best class. If it was, then his college has low standards compared to my own college.
That being said, this fic, while being entertaining so far, has several words incorrectly chosen for the sentencing, and, as with most of the fics I've read lately, also has a problem with punctuation including periods, commas and colons. ( . , : )
If you don't have an editor, I politely suggest that you find one, and if you do have one, fire him/her, and get a new one.

[Electro-Static]

1813354
I've not taken an English class or written an essay in two years

[WorldWalker128]

1816604
Oh, I wasn't blaming you. Just him.

No real biggie. I'm not perfect either. If I was, there'd be nothing to strive for.

[Electro-Static]

1817529
Actually one of the reasons that I have been putting off writing Twilight Sparkle's diary entries is that I don't think I have the English language skills to pull it off properly. I'm trying to line up an editor for that so in the meantime I've been working on a certain background pony's diary entries and trying to set up a story line.