• Member Since 1st Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 19th, 2023

NotSoSubtle


Learn by doing.

T

Some lessons are too big for one letter. Others are so important that they need to be shared with ponies everywhere. When these two come together, Twilight Sparkle tries something new.

She writes a book.

Everypony remembers exactly what they were doing when they first found out about the griffin invasion. Many saw it as a growing shadow that threatened to overtake all of Equestria. To those in the towns and cities that would become the front lines, it was a terror made real. With Canterlot in flames and Princess Celestia injured, many wondered how anypony could make everything right again. I was among them.

But we did it. Together.

These are my experiences and lessons learned during The Great Griffin Invasion, and it’s not just my story. War is a dark affair, but we can always learn something from the worst of times. In fact, we have to. The lessons are too costly to let them go to waste. And maybe, with a little help from this book, we won’t ever forget.

-Princess Twilight Sparkle

(Valor is Magic is a story of war and values set between seasons two and three of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. As of the end of season three, the events of this story do not justify an AU tag.)

Chapters (15)
Comments ( 131 )

So far (Chapter 1) this story has a lot of promise. Continuing on with bated breath. :twilightsmile:

Update

OK... so this story is turning out exceptional. I am actually on the edge of my seat for more.

Green thumb and favorite. Keep up the good work.

Mild spoiler

I absolutely love how you break down the intricacies of the cloud walking spell into scientific components. Almost makes magic seem like a science, a science that Twilight is exceedingly gifted at, but a science nonetheless. (I might have to borrow the idea for my rewrite I like it so much.)

Bah, you handled Celestia well enough, and I couldn't see any relevant OOC moments for her.

*clap*... *clap*.... *clap*... *roaring applause*

That was awesome. Now where is chapter 5... :twilightsmile:

This is rather good.

I liked the initial scene with the pegasus patrol, the use of the cloudwalking spell, and the overall sense of urgency and organization. Keep it up.

Dang... Just, dang...

I wasn't quite expecting such a strong start from a fic, but you got my attention with this. All out war going on here, haha. And there's some good characterization going on as well. I'll have to check out more!

What? You found it hard to write Celestia? Cause you made it seem pretty natural here.

But again...dang. You've taken My Little Pony out of the kiddy zone without making it seem forced. And I'm really liking Petronel's character. He's a real stallion (I'd say "man," but...you know) if there ever was one. He goes about his business with honor. Great OC.

...And you handled Luna even more beautifully. No lie, if the MLP writers ever decided to crank up the intensity of their show (which, of course, they won't), these past 4 pages would be a good place for them to look. All the characters, OC and non-OC alike, have been really well-depicted so far. Keep it up, and I'll check out the next chapter soon!

Now things are getting a bit dark, and the magic you introduced certainly sounds interesting. I still think there's more to Petronel. Anyways, great chapter as always! Funny seeing Fancypants being introduced into this...

This chapter was excellent. I just... UGH. So good!

Also, Herger is best griffin. Hands down.

Dang... The patriotism. It's strong here. I also like how you managed to humanize the Griffin OCs. It was corny, but corny in a good way.

And wtf? Nightmare Moon? Either I missed something, there's something more that hasn't been revealed, or the Griffin leaders are trippin' balls. They know nothing or are just making things up.

Anyway, keep up the good work!

I'm Sorry 2117499, but you are incorrect. Kaleb is best griffin. Wings down.:twilightsmile:

I had originally thought it best to leave the comments section for reader interaction, but a friend recently and correctly pointed out to me that it’s just as much a place for reader-author interaction. Shame on me for not figuring that out sooner. So...

HERE IT COMES! :rainbowdetermined2:

1656538

I wish I could make some kind of claim regarding the magic-as-science character discussion in that chapter, but I really can’t. In fact the only part I haven’t seen done with ponies yet is the use of formulaic expressions to describe spells, but that’s common enough in other popular fictional works there is no way is hasn’t shown up here on FimFic somewhere. I just haven’t seen it yet.

I guess what I’m really saying is: Steal away!

2056904>>1663132
It makes me so glad to see comments like these, because Celestia’s section was the first time in a ViM preread that my Beta reader told me I was horribly wrong. What resulted was me wading through episodes and transcripts, taking notes on her character and eventually constructing a character outline for her much like I have for my major OC’s. Even then I had to struggle to get her down with anything like the same feel as the show.

Celestia is a unique construct in western TV media; she’s a merger that includes a truly benevolent royal, a keeper of dangerous secrets, a loving mentor, and an immortal who has had to choose between personal horrors. The result is that she has a fatherly love for her subjects with a necessarily almost flawless talent for judging the character of those around her. She strives to enable them and help them grow, but won’t shy from throwing them in the deep end with just the faintest description of how to swim.

1992363
Thanks! One of the fastest ways to lose me as a reader or viewer is when the writer/actor/director introduces something meant to be scary or dangerous and yet completely fails to convey the peril of the situation. It plays into a big part of what got me to watch FiM: For all the corny gags done in the episode “Elements of Harmony,” the episode very strongly conveys real fear of Nightmare Moon. Driving home the legitimate peril of the invasion has been one of the preeminent things on my mind in every chapter I’ve written so far, and thanks to feedback like this I’m reassured that so far I seem to be doing it right.

As for the patrol, I hope you’ve liked what I’ve done with Canard so far.

2029456
Really?

cdn.derpiboo.ru/media/BAhbBlsHOgZmSSJMMjAxMy8wMS8wOC8yMl81Ml80OV80ODVfMjA2ODEwX19VTk9QVF9fc2FmZV9mbHV0dGVyc2h5X2FuaW1hdGVkLmdpZi5naWYGOgZFVA/206810__safe_fluttershy_animated_reaction-image_mmmystery-on-the-friendship-express_yes_mmmmystery-on-the-friendship-express_want_flapping.gif.gif

:yay:

2119955

One of the things I love about FiM is that the characters don’t draw on the same set of perfect constants when making their worldviews. As a result, things that might seem like inconsistencies actually are points of characterization for the speaker.

For example, when Twilight got on her soap box in Feeling Pinkie Keen, she stated that magic was something you willed to happen on purpose. During the flashbacks during Cutie Mark Chronicles we see several examples of magic where this isn’t the case. Yes, Twilight is wrong (or at least only mostly right) in her assessment of magic at the time, but her faith in something like the scientific method leads her to disregard the unverifiable data, resulting in this opinion.

Something similar is going on with Cyrus. :raritywink:

2117499>>2125397

Valid opinions, both of you. I have to say, though, in spite of my rigid outlining it was another griffin that sprung the first major surprise on me so far. I had intended to end chapter 6 on Cyrus’s last line, but when I was almost finished polishing some parts in the middle of the chapter I realized I still had a handful of details and thematic hints I still needed to fit in. Ragnar somehow popped into my head with the griffin equivalent of “challenge accepted,” and in about ten minutes I went from near panic to writing the last exchange of chapter 6. It was just one of those moments of near-seamless transition from concept to written scene that gives authors such a natural high. So when I say "Ragnar is best Griffin," you can hopefully understand and forgive my bias. :twilightsmile:

_______

WHEW, all caught up.:ajsleepy: Hopefully I won’t let these get so ahead of me before I do this again.

This chapter, I like it.

Another!

Seriously though; this is a superb piece of prose. Cheers, NSS.

Breakdown in communication, anyone?:twilightoops:

I love this story so much, but it's stressin' me out, man. It's like Breaking Bad all over again:applecry:

This is still so stressful, man. I'm dying. :fluttercry:

Keep it up.

Wow, this is good.
Just enough suspense to keep me interested, minimal gore even though it's a war story, and great OCs to boot.
You have my attention, upvote, and favorite.
Keep up the good work.

Round two: Go! :pinkiegasp:

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I’m glad you enjoyed, Martian, and I’ll do my best to keep them coming. :twilightblush:

2435810

That’s some really high praise there. I’ve only seen a few episodes, but they were all riveting and I know how many awards the show has received. It’s on my to do list for later viewing, once the seasons on dvd become available for cheap.

And one thing I will promise: This story will get a lot more stressful. Just you wait. :raritywink:

2548618

Those are all things I’m putting a lot of effort into! :raritystarry: Well, except the gore. Thanks for the attention, upvote and favorite, but most of all for taking the time to leave a few words. It’s nice to see those numbers tick up but there’s something special when a reader steps out of the crowd to say hi. :pinkiehappy:

Also, an announcement: Expect a blog post with more announcements! :yay:

And now I'm finally caught up! Lmao at Rarity getting wings again. I take it this is what would "boggle my mind"? Or whatever it was you said in IRC? Anyway, this was a good chapter. It develops Rarity and Rainbow Dash in an interesting way (especially the latter). And to comment on the previous chapter, Kaleb is a "very wise d***". Could not believe his attitude or method of thinking at times.

Also, maybe it's just because I think I've become a slightly more experienced writer myself, but it did seem like there were moments where you would fall into telling rather than showing. I know, that old complaint. I can explain it better whenever I get onto IRC again.

Cheers! :twilightsmile:

Wait...did I miss a previous story?! Awe...and this was looking so promising too...Now I gotta read something else first >.<

2757153

The axiom about showing versus telling in writing is a harsh one. Functionally speaking, it’s almost impossible to always show, because at some point you will have to slide in a detail here and there just to keep the story moving. I think the trick is to make it look like you are showing 100% of the time, even though it really can’t be done.

I hope it’s just a matter of you developing an eye for such things, but maybe not. I’m always welcome to messages with useful criticism from readers.

As for Kaleb, do you mean his thought process was deep and something enjoyable, or confusing and hard to follow?

2873450

Um, nope. :twilightoops: No previous story here. ViM is a recounting of events that happened in universe, so it does have that “looking back” feel to it. I went out of my way to try to keep the storyline such that only the first two seasons of FiM are needed as reference point.

That doesn’t mean the story doesn’t reference events in later episodes or the fanon, but my goal was to use those as seamlessly as possible. If I did it right, anything you might miss that doesn’t involve seasons one and two will have no negative impact on the story.

Impressive. I haven't seen a story that handles war in-universe this well since The Immortal Game, which came with problems of its own.

That scene with Snowblind in it was ruined for me because that name just made me think of the friendship is witchcraft episode Seed no Evil with the movie Snowblind in it. Great story so far though.

I like how Twilight starts alliterating when she gets nervous...:twilightsmile:

You're too good at the feels. When Luna was mourning over her favorite dead ponies I was like:pinkiesad2: "I don't even know these ponies and I'm sad!"
...
I don't know any ponies.:facehoof:

3196278

Impressive. I haven't seen a story that handles war in-universe this well since The Immortal Game, which came with problems of its own.

Seeing as I am still fairly new to the fandom, I had to look up that story. You can imagine my surprise when I saw how old The Immortal Game is and the attention it’s received. So um. Thanks. :rainbowderp:

It’s gone on my read later list, but I checked out the tropes page just for kicks and yeah, I think I can guess what you might have meant about problems. Lots of newer war stories have been influenced by anime, where everybody and their mom has at least a half dozen abilities or powers to use in a fight. To be fair, I appreciate that too when it’s done well (Kakashi vs Pain was mind-blowingly AWESOME,:rainbowwild:) but there’s more to conflict than the flashy weapons and abilities. With ViM, I hope to provide a contrast to the ability-driven combat that dominates most animated media, focusing more on how characters overcome their situations in order to become effective. Or at least, that’s the plan I wrote up in my outline. :derpytongue2:

Also, is there any chance you are a pre-reader who likes sky pirates? :pinkiegasp:

3205308

That chapter was written out last year, and yeah, I realized that about 10 minutes after watching the FiW episode. I played around with thoughts of changing his name for about a day. Thanks to a well known director whose first name is ‘George,’ I despise retcons and will only use them as a minimalist last resort. They undermine faith between a writer and reader even when used correctly and in the best situations. I decided to leave the name alone and trust readers to be aware of the chronology.

…And his last name is ‘Lucas.’

I’m not bitter or anything. :trixieshiftleft: :trixieshiftright:


3208847

Soooo much fun to write those, but afterwards it feels like I have brain freeze from a milkshake race. :unsuresweetie:

3209043

FEELZ TRAAAAIN! :rainbowdetermined2: ALL ABOARD! :pinkiecrazy: Ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaa! Ay, Ay, Ay…

(Also, Expect to see Silver Mist’s name pop up again.:raritywink:)

" unicorn sniper team"

That's the coolest string of words since "mutant ninja turtle"

3209427
Psh, whatever would make you think I liked sky pirates? :rainbowwild:


"Tell me, Captain ...

... How many lights do you see?"

Ah, there I was, enjoying this to death, and then I reach the end, and with it comes a sudden realization that it's been several months since the last update, but then here you are, posting just recent-like, and so this is still a thing that is happening? Yes?

... That was almost coherent, right?

couldnt twilight just time travel to about a week ago and warn her past self

This time she would have precedence to listen and she is actually from an epic pony war in the future

“I-I work there,” the pony stammered. “Part time, but I like it.”

You nailed the relentless positivity that would be the character of pony captives, and I love the interaction between griffons.

3211878
That spell could only be used once.

Fabulous! This story is supremely well written. Kaleb and the griffon culture is just AMAZING, and you have my eternal gratitude for keeping the characters pure even in a dark time. I just have one comment:

Griffon Logistics vs the Equestrian Celestial Intelligence Agency: An analysis by Cutting Edge

"This recent griffon invasion mainly consists of a tribal force that has banded together in a sort of jihad against Equestria in general, and our glorious Lunar Princess in particular. In addition to this, Petronel is one of the most intelligent and brutal ponies around, and the head of Celestia's intelligence agency. As has been found, the griffons attacking Cloudsdale alone numbered in the tens of thousands. A force that large in the hunter-gathering culture of the griffons will not be able to muster, much less launch a sustained triple pronged attack while outstripping their Diamond Dog ground forces. Why? A lion eats around 15 pounds of meat a day whilst resting on the Savanna, doing a whole lot of nothing. A force of a mere thousand fighting griffons would need around 15,000-20,000 pounds of fresh meat a day, traversing through hostile terrain from a supply base hundreds of miles away that doesn't have the miracles of canning or preservation, or even a ground force backing them up.

The logistics for such an attack are staggering, something that would give a first world country a run for its money. How do they eat? Thankfully the Griffons have no intentions of eating pony prisoners, (thankyouthankyouthankyouIhategrimdark :pinkiesmile:) and the Equestrian's food is implaleteable, so they cannot scrounge off the land. You have a nightmare of logistics there, and I have full confidence that Petronel will take full advantage of it, utilizing small, coordinated strike teams, high altitude drops, magical weaponry (did someone say, "unicorn snipers"? :rainbowkiss:) and just general sabotage of stockpiles to keep the griffons demoralized and in a state of near starvation. Near starvation, of course, because I doubt the griffon's kindly treatment of prisoners would extend to dying of hunger with a pony snack nearby.

(Curses. I'm getting carried away, but...) This demoralization would break the griffon's already weak command structure and completely shut this conflict down, without having to resort to airbourne irritants directed by pegasus generated winds or long-distance high frequency sound spells targeting griffon entrenchments, driving these bird cats insane, to say nothing of more nasty spells that teams of unicorn snipers -I confess I giggle like a schoolfilly whenever I say those words- have access to. Although the griffons are formidable fighters up close, their lack of long distance weaponry and weakness to magic and technology will turn this slight on Equestrian defense into a demoralized retreat after the initial rush with the proper handeling of logistics."

-Cutting Edge, Armchair Logista of Equestia

(You probably have thought of this, but unless the griffons shape up their support, this war is going to turn into a skirmish really quickly)

3209471

Even my non-pony watching friends enjoyed that line, good sir/madam. My hat is off to you. And here, have this upvote to go with the fine cut of your jib. :moustache:

3209476

I dunno, just a hunch. But you see, sky pirates also happen to be a thing I enjoy, at least tangentially.

I even found a thing. I’m just gonna leave this link here. :rainbowwild:

3210141

It’s amazing how many young types wouldn’t get that. I viewed that little reference as a civic duty. Didn’t stop me from laughing manically as I typed it, though. :pinkiecrazy:

3211878

If I remember, it was stated in episode canon that the time travel spell can only be cast once in a pony’s lifetime. While I think we can say she’s met at least one other unicorn lately who might be able to cast it to conduct such a warning, her experience with causality would leave her hesitant to do so. That’s assuming she even thought of the idea while trying to wrap her head around a situation she doesn’t even have proper vocabulary to describe, so I can assure you she hasn’t thought of it. It is also assuming said unicorn or unicorns have not already used said spell with similar results with causality. It’s not an idea I had considered, but it is a very character foil kind of thing to do.:twistnerd:

The short version is that there will be no time shenanigans in ViM. Just the other kinds. :trollestia:

3216462

…Oh wow. :rainbowderp:This is well thought out. I didn’t expect a deep consideration of such factors to show up so soon. You shine light on some important points. Logistics will be a concern sooner rather than later, and for both groups (this is a winter campaign, after all) and the nature of the confederacy means that Cyrus and his supporters will have to be concerned about military unity moving forward.

To ease some of your concerns about the feasibility, I would draw your attention to the only two griffins we have seen in canon. While we assume from classic griffin lore that they would happily eat fresh kills, the show supports a much wider diet for their race. Gilda, for example, consumes stolen fruit, and Gustave is a baker. It’s even possible that neither griffin has consumed any meat while living in pony lands, though I doubt the show will ever cover this in any more light. (Which is fine, since FiM isn’t meant as a milieu story.)

Speculations about show canon aside, we’ve seen both griffins and ponies consume things that humans would readily eat. You’re right on about concerns of feeding such a large force away from home (and in the clouds) but a biologic need for meat, or that much meat is a bit of a reach. After all, they are half bird. :ajsmug:

More than that I’ll just have to leave to story material as I finish it. :pinkiehappy:

3211687

And You, Good Sir Or Madam. Yes, You. You Get Saved For Last, And Thy Question Answered With A Side Of Ham.

(...This site needs some Luna emotes. :ajbemused:)

This is still very, very much a thing. An ongoing thing that will take me a great many more chapters, but a thing I am committed to finishing. See, I live and do chores on a farm in addition to part time work. Life makes its busiest demands of me during the summer and as a result I have less time for words. In addition, I spent effort that might have gone into new material went towards preparing already posted material for EqD submission and on a chapter-sized side project I’ll get to in a moment. That time was well spent, but yes, ViM is going forward. The next chapter is currently in alpha, which for my usage means it reads from beginning to end and has all the things I need it to have according to my outline. Soon it will be beta, which is when Wool and Front each get a crack at it. Then, after revision, it gets posted here.

I have an interesting habit regarding new material worth noting. When I have a chapter polished and ready to be posted, I post a 'SOON' blog entry with a spoiler in the form of the chapter’s name. More recently the images have been related to the chapter, such as ‘Familiar Faces’ introduction of Gilda, but I can’t commit to always being able to drop hints this way. A SOON post means you can expect the chapter in less than 24 hours.

But I also understand some people might be looking for something to hold them over. As thanks to readers who were already following the story, I did a little promotional thing I announced here. I asked for questions from readers to be submitted, addressed to Twilight, Luna, or Kaleb, and answered them in character in interview format. I received so many zinger questions that the project quickly became about double what I intended it to be, and the final product weighs in at about 6k words. While I don’t consider the interview to be ‘canon’ in the sense that I ask the questions myself as a human, every answer they give is accurate and truthful to the best of their ability. I know that’s not quite the same as a new chapter, it’s just as heavy and should suffice as added value until Chapter 10 rolls out the digital door.

That day is soon. Until then readers, The Enemy Gate Is Down. :twilightsmile:

Griffon chapters are now my favorite. Then I read a pony segment and ponies are my favorite. Pretty sure whichever segment I read last is my favorite.

It's such a nice change of pace for the shipping drama to be OUTSIDE the two characters being shipped. You'd think no couple in equestria ever had a mutual attraction at the same time. (ok, so technically they aren't equestrians, maybe that explains it.)

Why are the poor griffons always evil invaders and/or pony-eating monsters?

They're quite content in their continent across the sea!

It's anti-griffon RACISM, I tell ya!

While at the same time, the changelings are 'misunderstood'... ARG!!!

The griffons just want LOVE!! Peace and love! (and pony entrails...) :pinkiecrazy:

3210141 I face-hoofed so hard when I saw that. :facehoof:

So... where is Discord through all this?

It mentioned him being released. Somehow, I find it rather impossible to believe the griffons could do jack to him. His magic ain't pony magic, it's radically more powerful, and operates outside the boundary of any 'normal' magic.

I'm still trying to figure out what on earth the motivation for the war is.

The one griffon mentions some blathering nonsense about alicorn lies and other such BS...

We call people like 'conspiracy theorists' and they never get very far.

So Discord lied to them when he was free? Told them Celestia set him free? And they all believed a KNOWN LIAR AND BRINGER OF CHAOS AND DISHMARMONY? Never bothered to ask the ponies for their side, apparently. And apparently there's no pony ambassador in the griffon lands either. They know all about NMM too, in spite of her rebellion being a thousand years ago, short-lived, and confined entirely to one region of Equestria.

And yet despite having so much internal knowledge, they seem to lack certain information, such as Celestia and Luna being needed to raise the sun, the fact that it's going to be very difficult to convince unicorns to take over the job (assuming they even know how any longer) after they've seen the griffons murder their leaders.

From a power standpoint, the griffons are right screwed over if the unicorns say, "Buck you, we'll all die from freezing in the darkness rather than submit!"

The motives for this war are, as stated, severely impractical and hardly something that which would unify disparate tribes.

Really, what I'm getting from this story is that the griffons, for all their supposed military brilliance, are incredibly stupid, short-sighted, and gullible.

This story has handled its chosen topics very well and very in character, can't wait for the next update. :rainbowdetermined2:

3219021
You could probably find a lot of reasons why the idea of a war against the diarchy would be a bad idea. Is that one thing keeping you from enjoying this entire story, though? I mean yeah, I can see how it might not entirely make sense, but there is a great story with great drama built around this war. You could say what things you liked, as well.

I can't imagine you just didn't like this entire story because that one thing, right?

3217111

:facehoof: Heh, had forgotten that griffons are at least partially omnivorous. Haven't watched that episode in an age. It makes me so happy that you were already considering logistics when writing this. YOU ARE MY HERO!

Nice Star Trek reference there.

3223565 Well, it's rather the CENTRAL PLOT of the entire thing.

If the rationale built into the war is nonsensical, then it rather undermines the entire thing.

How and why did all this disparate griffons care suddenly that the ponies were being lied to? Why did they all suddenly believe this? ALL of them? Even the ones who didn't trust each other? None thought, "What if this is just a ploy to gain complete power over our tribes? OUR leader could be conveniently killed in a war!"

They're being brought together over an 'enemy' who isn't even threatening them. An 'enemy' that has welcomed them into their land as friends and allies. They believe the alicorn who has led the Pony races into a state of extraordinary prosperity is actually a lying evildoer....

Actions speak louder than words, you know. And when the actions are in absolute conflict with baseless claims, guess which generally wins out?

As I said, it's the reason crazy conspiracy theorists are dismissed by all but other crazy conspiracy theorists.

And no one at all attempts to contact the ponies. There is no doubt at all about this very dubious and totally unsubstantiated tale (which has ZERO hard evidence backing it, other than deliberate misinterpretations of events which I'm quite certain a fair number of griffons know about in FACTUAL detail) and so start a war.

Never mind the Diamond Dogs getting involved. Never mind those ridiculous gauntlets that so conveniently show up just in time for the war. Supposedly they'd been at peace for hundreds of years... exactly what was the motivation behind their development, hmmm?

A slightly intelligent griffon would realize that these things were being made LONG before the nonsense stories these suddenly unification-minded leaders began throwing around.

We are also supposed to believe that no griffons feel the war is a ruse and refuse to take part, or perhaps that their leaders are insane.

The convenient solidarity of the griffons given the situation in which Equestria is completely peaceful makes this unanimous griffon aggression unbelievable.

Let us also not forget this central premise: The griffons believe the ponies are being lied to. BUT, rather than try to explain that... their first action is to launch a massive surprise attack and slaughter huge numbers of them, burn their cities, attempt to kill their beloved leaders, imprison many of them...

... and then say, "Oh by the way, we're really the good guys here!"

Now tell me, in that exact situation, would YOU believe such a load of BS if you were a pony, and if you were a griffon could you reasonably expect the ponies to respond favorably to any of this, or to believe you after the horrendous acts of unprovoked horror your kind have wrought upon them without any explanation or attempt at diplomacy, nor even a declaration?

"Griffins do not train soldiers, we raise warriors."

And that is why they will lose. It is a well-known fact that a single warrior will defeat a single soldier, every time. It is equally well known that a thousand soldiers will defeat a thousand warriors, every time.

3226318
Not saying the rationale for the war isn't flimsy. It's a valid complaint, but you've read ten chapters into this story so far — I have to believe you've enjoyed the characters, the writing, the interactions, and in some way, the action. You should mention that, at least once, otherwise it appears like you didn't enjoy anything about the story, which I don't think is true.

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3226642

I’ve been hesitant to weigh in on this exchange for several reasons, but it seems now that I must. While I can certainly understand the desire to have a clear and distinct motive for the griffins to perform such a great wrong against the ponies we all care so much about, there are both narrative and plot related reasons the motive wasn’t simply dropped for the reader.

I suppose I’d start with a plot reason. As you have pointed out, and correctly, I’ve established the griffins as a disparate society of prides that conflict with each other on many levels. In my own experiences with such conglomerate forces in media, I’ve always felt cheated when the author(s)/creator(s) simply hand-wave a single, all encompassing reason for them to band together and attack something. In dealing with this situation a year ago while writing my outline, I wanted to make sure I avoided doing anything of the kind. For now, all I can say is that many parties involved have their own motivations for participating that will be explored as the story progresses.

Second, a narrative reason. In trying to maintain the feel of the original show, one of the first things I realized is that ViM would have to be as character driven as the cartoon it is based on. Of course Twilight and the other ponies are firmly established by the source material, but with only two griffins (and literally no word about griffins beyond those two) I saw I would have to put most of my early efforts on the invaders into establishing their characters and contexts. If I didn’t, the OCs would come off as weak cardboard cutouts against the ponies, which would undercut any possible sympathy for them as characters. (note: not the cause they fight for.)

As for much discussion beyond those points, my hands are tied. At this point I can only reassert that Cyrus is the primary motivator, planner, and negotiator for the entire operation, and that he believes in Hrothgar’s prophesy. He means to ‘slay a great darkness,’ and the very short day we saw in FiM Season 1, episode 2 was enough evidence to convince him that evil was Luna. More detail than what was established in ‘Flock Together’ will be revealed as the story progresses.

I hope this eases your and any other concerns related to this, but if not there is little else I can say on the matter without skirting spoilers. And with that, I’m at my limit to discuss the subject. :twilightsheepish:

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