Twilight's dreams have shifted from majestic fields and ancient scriptures to a place where death is a constant and combat is a way of life.
She dreams the life of a free willed metal monster and is forced to witness untold horrors whilst she sleeps. She saw things she had never seen in her own universe. She saw death. Horrible, bloody, gory death.
Twilight believes the torture has ended when the nightmares of destruction and death stop.
But this is a crossover. The tale most certainly doesn't end there.
When an accident with the power to shatter reality occurs, the mechanical destroyer from Twilight's dreams becomes all too real.
Twilight believes it the end. She is fairly certain that this creture will be the end of Equestria.
But does the knight in midnight armour beakon the end of all ends? Or new opportunities for friendship?
Borderlands 2/MLP crossover.
Quite the interesting concept, I like it. Except for the couple spelling and grammar errors here and there, it was enjoyable. Tracking.
I'm very relieved that you liked it.
Spelling and grammar is something I have made a hard attempt at but I obviously didn't try hard enough and let a couple slip through.
My apologies. I intend to create a perfect piece of writing and spelling and grammar is something I must fix.
Bah. You so lie mr/mrs Dudaexpress. That first one was embarrasingly bad grammar wise.
Good, you're doing better.
No complaints EXCEPT the fact that Zero speaks in haiku. I see no haiku.
Other than that well done!
Twilight the technomancer?
atomrofl.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/shit_just_got_real_jenga-600x401.jpg
The right way to say: Приплыли, а дальше что?
And this one: Калибровка языка выполнена.
Believe me, I am russian. I know
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I'll correct that when I get on my computer. Thanks.
Due to the fact that I speak English and only English the russian was incredible patch wortk stuff.
Very nice, I see the plot thickening
So nice chapter, and Happy late Birthday!
P.S. Go for rum, It kicks in quicker and less of a hangover
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Thanks. It was an awesome birthday (Not counting the hangover). :D
But it really was a mess up. As I said, this could have been ready days ago.
Me actually really likes. If only it didn't have those tiny technical errors, I dare say it would be beautiful.
Good luck on yer mecha BL2 crossy over.
It would be a hell of allot funner if she ends up in a saturn class mod
Rape train: Next stop is Equestria don't forget your doom machine while leaving train.
\\;[HATE_DETECTED!]
you know the drill
i cant wait to see a saturn
.....I cant help it but when ever i see Ajax's name, i think of the Crimson Raider guy from the first borderlands.
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That guy was a champ. He dropped a badass gun and had a jet pack. Why did all of the Crimson Lance you kill have to be badasses? Why!
I would love to see fan art of Ajax, he sounds like he looks ridiculously badass.
God, have you played: The Secret Armory of General Knoxx? It's a DLC for Borderlands, Knoxx's funny as hell.
Quote(More or less, from memory.) "Hi, me again. The Admiral just made me French toast a piece of gum with his sock. All bets are off, I'm going to have to kill you now." When you activate the bridge to the armory.
Or there's: "*Grumble* Hello, I'm General Knoxx, just thought i'd let you know... I don't want to be here. Though thanks for making Commander Steele a meat-kabob. Always talking her way up the lines... Chow." First contact with Knoxx.
My favorite, "Hello again, It's me, Knoxx. Did I ever tell you about how ridiculous our ranking system is? The Admiral spelled prison with a stick of broccoli and macaroni. I work for children, literally, the Admiral is five... five. Oh and I'm sending Gamma squad to kill you, no hard feelings, love." I can't remember when. Though he reminds me of Handsome Jack from Borderlands 2.
Sky blue. Nice try though.
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Oh balls.
You know, I wrote that part about the armour as it being blue to start with and changed it to white.
All done (I hope.)
Thank you for telling me.
APPLE JAX.Could not resist saying that.
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AJ has to go cut the tree down when it stops burning, with her A -Jax(e)!
Does that work? I'm not very good at this.
oh well
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Ten bucks it kills him.
Also, i hope to see the Vault hunters there to assist.
Forgiven
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Phew!
Huh, thought that was Luna (Salvador) who was being punched here.
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Oh god damn it all to hell.
That's a big oopsy.
All fixed.
That was silly.
That is a lot of enter key use. I don't think I've ever seen such a spaced out story, not to say i don't like it, it just makes it a little difficult to read. The enter key is for paragraph spacing, and paragraph spacing requires a pause in order to read properly.
I will read with no pauses!
s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/newsfeed/000/194/374/79248%20-%20challenge_accepted%20luna%20meme.jpg?1320201217
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Gah. That's an old habit.
Tends to get its way into my work without me knowing. I'll amend that soon.
My goodness, the Vault Hunters in Equestria? Awesome.
Hate being that guy, but:
First Lucius called Fawks Lucius, even though it's his name. Be warned, this isn't the only mistake I've caught, a few others earlier in. Though no need to rush, I still love this story and it's basis, even if there are a few grammatical errors.
The_Doctor_who, out.
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I really need to start reading through dialog and looking for things like that.
Remembering who's talking will help.
And don't hate telling people where they've made mistakes.
If no one told me things were wrong I'd make so many errors it would be unbelievable.
Fixed.
I've also made a few changes in places where it didn't really sound right.
ALL OF TEH PLOT DEVELOPMENT! I sense a very large and well developed conflict ahead. I bid you good luck!
I added a human tag.
Initially, humans were planned to be involved for very little of the story, so I didn't add a human tag.
But as I was reading through my latest notes, I realised humans got a big part and I hadn't bothered to update the tags.
And it took me this long to realise my own story contained humans.
You're good Filly.
Real good.
Damn, this got REALLY GOOD. Nice job!
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I'm really stuck for words here mate.
Thanks!
First one I noticed had no punctuation, then I spotted a few afterwards. There are quite a few spots that need punctuation, but I'm to lazy to copy and paste them all.
Like i've said before, love the story, love the concept, but needs a little editing. Or maybe more than a little. Not really my place to judge. Keep at 'er!
This is it! The adventure into the unknown! Too bad a rogue Loader beat you to it Fawks! HAH!!! crazy bugger...
Anyway, great chapter mate, keep at it! as usual
I can only see 2 ways to this ending. 1. Ajax makes a final stand, over loading his Warp Drive to destroy the army.
2. He pulls a mary sue and wins, then slowly rusts away.
Or 3. Godzilla comes and fist pumps Ajax before returning to Snuggling Rodan
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*Sees number three*
How the hell did you get hold of my notes for the ending, huh?
1937138 *bows* What I can do defies explanation or calculation
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True I suppose
And don't expect one ending.
Expect two.
1937185 All the better then! Hazza!
*Cue "With Great Power" by Two steps from Hell, or music of similar epicness*
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Come on now.
Two steps from Hell are great, but only Manowar would be able to creake a song with enough badassitude (It's a word now.) for Ajax.
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Choice noted, acknowledged…and approved.
artefact - artifact.
“Try my.” Ajax confidently said. "Try me." Ajax said confidently.
and the second being there was a mare that
muddled- modeled for the particular magazine that didn’t look half bad.Both of the robots, after the damaged
onone had recovered its balance,The smoke that came from the barrels of Ajax’s gun produced an almost
chockingchoking cloud.He could
herehear failure, He couldherehear death. He couldherehear…. Twilight.And what was the extremely expensive Torgue gun? I never sa- read it.
This is what happens when you let me point out your problems.
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Oh holy god.
Top tip: Don't write while quite tired and while distracted.
I kid thee not, that was writen abou 10 minutes before I published it.
But those were bloody kintergarden errors and I've got no excuse.
I'm going to have to fix that.
And I'll fix the last error you pointed out. I neglected to do it (Bah!) and I really need to.
I'm bloody sorry for those.
There, that's all of the ones you stated corrected.
Now to go through it and look for anything else as stupid as those. They really were pathetic errors.
And the expensive gun was described in some detail a few chapters back.
When I get back to my computer (I'm currently doing this through Xbox Live.) I'll find it for you.