• Member Since 16th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen 16 minutes ago

Raging Mouse


T

A colossal mass of alien matter ends up on the surface of Equestria as a result of a cosmic disaster, and it is poisoning all it touches. Twilight Sparkle and her friends are caught up in the events as Equestria becomes increasingly hostile to ponies, and the ponies become increasingly hostile to each other. But is it the fault of the alien matter, or is something more going wrong?

It is up to Twilight to find the answer and a solution, preferrably one that also preserves the very fragile life of what may be the last representant of an entire species.

NOTES: Formerly known as 'The Creature'. HiE tag is mandatory for all stories with human characters. Note that there is only a human as a side character in this story.

Thanks to Matdat for grammar and spelling check!

Chapters (38)
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Comments ( 271 )

This is awsome I need moar:flutterrage:

alright I take a look later then

Well written. You should add it to some groups, to increase exposure and views.

Hello all,

I'd just like to mention how encouraging your thumbs up and favouriting has been. I started writing and publishing this story because it just wouldn't leave my head otherwise, but I must admit that seeing it being read and appreciated has become another source of motivation. So, thank you. It feels good.

On another note, please point out any strange grammar or choices of words that you might find. English is not my first language, so I won't be surprised if my wording isn't the best. I'm of course a layman at writing fiction of any kind, so general critique and constructive tips would be really helpful.

Thank you for your time!

I really like your description for this fic. It's a new and interesting idea to me in having the alien be poisoned by Equestrian air. I haven't read any of the chapters for your fic when I wrote this, but have no fear, :ajsmug:you have caught my eye dear author. :moustache:Definitely tracking this for sure.

Oh snap, here we go

Twenty thousand words. Seven chapters. And finally we've gotten to what this is all about.

I have no idea what I am doing. Oh dear.

I'd say your doing great personally.I cannot tell you how irritating it can be when I read a story that gets to the main plot in less than 2 chapters.It's so fast and there's no details.So I am glad that your story is it's opposite.I hope to see the next update soon.And also good luck.

I frickin' love this story. Keep doing what you're doing. You're amazing. This story is amazing. :pinkiehappy:

HOW IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO FIND THIS STORY!!!!!

Wait, what exactly did Twilight do? It sounds like she tried to stop an earthquake.

1553980

You could say she tried that, locally. She tried to hold the ground beneath Ponyville steady against the advancing shockwaves using her magic.

It worked only marginally and ended up almost killing her.

hhhhmmmmmmmmm:trixieshiftleft: Welp, looks like I have yet ANOTHER story that intrigues me that I'll probably never get around to reading!

This is very interesting idea! Please continue!

800 years of being a book doesn't seem to have kept Libram down

This fic is seriously underrated.

This is a great piece that deserves more attention!

I was quite entertained and read the whole thing in one sitting. Faved AND thumbs up good sir.

Just so you're aware, the line "§4: This document holds no sway over Princesses Celestia and Luna." didn't feel as authentic as the rest of the letter. Because it's a legal document I don't think "sway" would be used. Personally I'd see "authority" as a better choice. It just feels more official to me, while sway feels like something you'd say to someone but wouldn't use in a legal document. But maybe that's just me.

1610535

I purposely mixed legalese with prophetic. There's a lot more than just "sway" that should hopefully stand out. In fact, if that's all that doesn't fit legalese then I'd appreciate tips on mixing it up more.

Look, the exposition is nice and all, but the action really needs to speed up for a bit. We're at a dozen chapters and we almost haven't gotten anywhere!

1615711
yeah i have to agree on that.
and also your name...
I HAVE A JAR OF LAND!!!
static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/jar_of_dirt_1598.jpg
I HAVE A JAR OF LAND!!!

1615711 1617765
There are plenty of stories with faster action. I for one am enjoying the character building and interaction.

1617765 What reference is that?

1620202
look at the name of the guy i replied to when i made the referance... if you have watched the second movie of pirates of the caribbean, you know the referace. i recomand watching it if you have not already

1620683 Oh, I remember now.

Great stuff! Keep it coming :)

Oh damn, oh damn, oh damn. Twilight, you have made contact.

So... Equestria's air is toxic to Humans? Tell me 'fore I read this here tale of tales.

1649959

The initial spark for this story was me noting that most people assumed Equestria would be perfectly compatible to humans and wondering just what kind of story could be written around a human who accidentally ends up in an Equestria that is anything but survivable. This goes both ways: Ponies might have a harder time accepting into their midst something that might poison them at the slightest touch. It's a bit more complicated than that, but I'm getting ahead of myself if I reveal more.

1650288 Lol, if I was that guy.... depending on how I felt at the time, I would either poison them all, or avoid them for their own good.... i'm in between right now.

Twilight is now the Mlp equivalent of a Council Spectre:yay:. That is cool in so many ways.
(Mass Effect reference)

Daaaaaaamn.
One step forward and one falling down the stairs back. And what is with the ash corruption giving dark magic?

Looking forward to the next chapter, keep up the great work!

ooooooooh shiiiiiiit...DAT note.

lol don't you just hate when people die stupidly? gets me reeeeal agitated

Was it just me, or did Ruler and Scales come across as pretty casual about this whole thing?
I guess that might be intentional, but I don't really see why. :applejackunsure:

Wellp, the story is now spanning over fifty thousand words. I think it's about halfway done, though of course that depends on what the word count from here on will be. Thank you for reading this far.

So I'm guessing that 'purple fire' around Twilight's eyes is dark magic?
'Cause I'm pretty it isn't Libram.

Waht a tweest!

Ladies and Gentlespoons, we have contact! Meaningful contact!

so im guessing earth blew up or something

Dun dunnn dunnnnn.... The plot thickens to the point of oatmeal.

Good pacing :)

FUCKING FINALLY

HOLY SHIT.
ACTUAL PLOT DEVELOPMENT.

5 bucks says it immediately grinds to a halt again.

I, for one, absolutely love that it's taken this long to get here. This is a nice pace.
It just means that anyone who's stayed this long is really invested and probably won't want to back out now.

Also, I was a bit worried that the human's character was getting a bit obnoxious for a moment there, but he seems alright by the end of the chapter. :applejackunsure:

But will he wake up anytime soon?

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