• Published 22nd Oct 2012
  • 1,017 Views, 16 Comments

Buying Love - Cytotoxin



Can it be bought? Can it be sold?

  • ...
16
 16
 1,017

One and Only

She tapped the ledger with her hoof. Numbers lined up nicely. Another year solidly in the black, reaping profits. Scratched Records. The top recording label in Equestria. Hundreds of artists. Thousands of shops. Millions of sold records. One star - Octavia. Vinyl leaned back in her chair, thinking about her star. And her love. She should be here soon. She left the message with the secretary. Vinyl was ready. She let go most of ponies early - a usual practice on the quarter end, when ledgers were totaled and profits distributed. Ponies deserved a few days of taking it easy.

As on cue, the door squeaked lightly, and the grey mare trotted in, her impeccably brushed mane swishing just so. Vinyl yearned to run her hooves through that mane. "Hello, Octy." - she offered, her voice suddenly taking on a husky sound. She coughed, clearing her throat and continued in normal voice - "Grab a seat... I`ve got everything ready." Wordlessly, Octavia obeyed, sitting down on the chair across the table, looking on Vinyl squarely. Unicorn pushed the ledger to her. "Here we go." - she proffered.

Just as silently, Octavia pulled the ledger closer and squinted at it. It was a token show, and both knew it. Vinyl would never mess up numbers - especially not the numbers regarding Octavia. "Everything`s in order." - she finally replied, putting her signature in the appropriate place and pushing the ledger back. Vinyl smiled. "Good. Care for a drink?" - she proffered, levitating a bottle of cognac out of her minibar, along with two glasses. Octavia raised her hoof, as if to object, then sighed. "Alright." - she offered in defeated tone.

Vinyl slid the full glass across the table, taking a sip from hers, then. "Well, here we are. Another quarter of undisputed success." - she proffered, raising her glass, - "Cheers." Octavia took a polite sip out of her glass, setting it down, then. "Vinyl..." - she offered pensively, - "Why." The answer was rather obvious to a record magnate. "Because I love you, Octy. You know that." - she offered carelessly, taking another sip of cognac.

Octavia folded her forehooves. "That again, Vinyl?" - she responded, - "We`ve been over that. Many times." Vinyl Scratch shrugged - "It`s not like my answer will ever change, Octy. I love you. Regardless of how you feel about me, I`ll always love you." Grey mare hopped up and paced in front of table a little. "You have to stop this, Vinyl. You have to... just stop." - she finally offered, looking on the unicorn mare flatly. Vinyl shook her head. "No." - she replied simply, pushing her glass aside. Octavia slammed her hooves on the table. Even that indubitably aggressive move was delicate and gentle with her, Vinyl noted with detachment, as Octavia got practically into her face. "I can`t take this anymore, Vinyl. You can`t just... buy me." - she barked.

Unicorn pushed back from her table slightly, rolling on her chair back, to the window. "Look outside, Octy." - she offered softly - "See the glowing lights? Even today, when most ponies are at home, Scratched Records glows. It`s built on love - and look how big it is. How many ponies out there have the records you recorded. How many of them listen to your music right now, in love or in misery, in happiness or in despair... To the sound of hope. Because that`s what your music sounds like to me. Hope. So no, I can not and I will not stop. Never."

"Vinyl... Why can`t you just grasp it? I don`t offer you any hope." - proffered Octavia quietly, as she sat back down. Vinyl rolled back to the table, picking her glass again. "That`s alright, Octy." - she offered just as quietly, looking on the mare across the table. Octavia turned her head away. No matter what Vinyl said, she could not bear the silent pain in unicorn`s eyes. "And what if I leave, Vinyl?" - she asked, her voice cracking as she did. Unicorn shrugged again. "I will not stop you, Octy. If you want to leave, you can leave." - she offered, - "Near or far, with or without me.. I will always love you."

"Why me, Vinyl? All those years, why me?" - grey mare asked - "There are many mares who would love you, Vinyl. Why do you have to be so stubborn?" Vinyl rolled her eyes. "None of them are you." - she responded simply, - "I`m sorry, Octy. I can`t order my heart. There are many mares out there... But you are the only one I want." Octavia made a strangled kind of noise. "I hate you." - she offered finally, - "Vinyl, I hate you. All my life.... All that I stand for, I owe to you. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO GENEROUS?! WHY CAN`T YOU... Agh."

She slammed her head against her hoof on the table, groaning softly. "What I am wondering, Vinyl, is when you`re going to collect on that investment." - she whispered softly, - "When your patience runs dry and you stop waiting." Unicorn shook her head. "Octy." - she offered sternly - "What are you talking about?" Vinyl stood up on her hindhooves, leaning on the table. "What kind of bucked up love it would be if I asked that of you?" - she inquired hotly, - "Do you seriously imagine me going some day 'Well, Octy, I put your star on the sky, now is time to put up', is that it!?" Octavia jolted back, shocked by sudden outburst, as Vinyl continued - "Well, that`s sick. Understand... I`m doing it for you because I love you. I`m NOT asking for anything in return. Yes, I DO hope that someday you will find it in your heart to hear my love song, but if you do... Then you do it because you want to do it."

She turned away and stepped closer to the window, looking out into the dark sky. So many stars. And yet, not a single one she could touch. It was ironic, in a sense. Octavia was always her star - in many ways. And just as untouchable as the stars above. "What am I supposed to do then?" - came a plaintive cry from behind her - "Do you have any idea how guilty I feel about all that you`ve done for me?! Do you even think about how awful it feels to owe you so much and yet being unable to give you something in return?"

Vinyl offered without turning - "Oh, I do think about it, Octy. How guilty do you think I feel about the hope I dare to nurture in spite of your denial? How awful it feels to know the mare I love resents me for loving her?" She could hear some kind of scuffle behind her. Then, a hoof came on her shoulder. "Vinyl..." - came the soft whisper, - "I`m sorry I can`t." Vinyl continued to look out into the night. "I`m sorry you can`t, too." - she offered - "I don`t know what`s holding you." Hoof retreated. She heard nothing for a few moments. Then a door opened and closed behind her. Vinyl let out a sigh, as she continued to look out. She had no idea what was holding Octavia back. It was certainly nothing material. Feelings, then. "I`m sorry, Octy." - she whispered, pressing her cheek against the cool glass, - "But I will not stop until you love me... or hate me."

Comments ( 16 )

COOL!! :D

also the idiots that downvote this story downvoted because it's vinyl x octavia

1487812

Eh, let the people have cake. I`ve downvoted plenty a story here. Everyone`s entitled to their opinions.

Would benefit a lot from a style overhaul and maybe a little from more introspectiveness on Vinyl's side (and Octavia's as well, I guess). New sentences by new characters go in separate paragraphs, Cytotoxin.

I liked this story. It was enjoyable to read and had a good concept but it was a bit hard to read due to the formatting. For one, the characters and their dialogue should be placed together in their own paragraphs. Your grammar's pretty good but you should try not to use so many hyphens. They're not a replacement for commas, you know.

1488008

Not my style. Tried it, found out I hated writing like that.

As for introspection... I kind of meant the reader to draw their own conclusions.

1488043 I see... and I respect that. Well, you should try to make some of the lines being spoken a little clearer to the reader. 95% of them were fine, but there were some that made me stop and scroll back to see who was talking. Nothing too difficult, though. It's just that this particular style (also present in my own country, but abhorred in the English language) is something that your average-day reader is comfortable with.

And as for the reader taking its own conclusions: Well, they will do that either way, because the story has some sort of closure. When I mentioned it, my intent was to help with this story's pathos, gripping the reader's attention. Make us feel their emotions better. Conclusions will still be drawn by those who want to think about it. You'd just help them by painting a more vivid portrait.

1488042

That`s my russian shining through. It`s not that I try to replace commas... More of, that I find english sentences lacking commas in places where I feel they are needed. I imagine that colors my writing quite a lot.

1488077

Me and pathos are not on good terms, I`m afraid. This is pretty much my experiment into writing sadfics. I`ll see what can be done about expressing things better, but it is my opinion that tragedy must be sublime. Spelling it out cheapens the feeling.

1488163 I agree with you that spelling it out cheapens the feeling. Even though I've been told otherwise by ""excellent"" writers on this site.
I'll give you my way of doing it, maybe it can help you on a next experiment? Okay, so instead of going for the literal, spelling it out sentence, I sometimes go for a physical description of what the character is going through. But doing so may cause the text to become purple, so I only do it on the key parts of the story.

For example:

Vinyl took a shot of whiskey, trying to block out her feelings. She cried, despite not wanting to.

Vinyl felt her throat burning and her mouth dry, even though she was pretty sure her lips were moist with saliva. Her stomach churned further when she acknowledged that, deep down, she knew why she was feeling that way. Something... I gotta drink something! She hastily took off the bottle of whiskey and poured herself a greedy amount, quickly downing the glass. Her stomach instantly stopped twisting, making way for the warmness that was now spreading from it invading her very being. Her mind slowly began to feel numb, disconnected from the outside world. But try as she might, she couldn't stop the tears from spilling, staining her cheek's fur to a darker tone.

Why can't I hate you!?

I'm not saying your text looks like the former. But I would love it even more if it could look like the latter.

1488281

Ok, see, right there. It`s not the kind of feeling I was going for. None at all.

What you`re presenting here is fresh. Raw. I could picture Vinyl doing that after being rejected the first time.

But this is not what I`m trying to present here. It`s been years since then. And the twisting and burning emotions had dulled down, since then. Became just a cold ache on the back of mind, something you just put up with, like an old injury that flares up each time it rains.

1488420 I know, I know. I wasn't making it with your story's words. I just took a random "Octavia rejects Vinyl" scenario because it was related with this story. Y'know, just to exemplify.

1488428

It still does not portray what I wanted to show, you see.

Your example shows the burst of emotions. The fresh disappointment that just... bowls you over. I can do something like that. I`m no stranger to purple prose myself.

But that`s not what I wanted to show here. I wanted to show a feeling so old it became blunted. When all the embers died down and stars showed up over the ashes. When the words are spoken in almost boredom - because whatever fire was there shimmered out long ago, leaving them numb to everything. There is no deeper introspection because neither of them wants to introspect anymore.

1488534 Then I applaud you for succeeding so deeply that even I wasn't aware of it.

1488624

I hardly succeeded if you didn`t catch it, now did I?

Deep should not mean incomprehensible. Hm.

But I am not sure just how one would describe dullness. It`s rather indescript of a concept.

1488695 Exactly. The text was kind of dull. Meaning that you've achieved it. Your long-term followers will probably notice the sudden shift in this story. They ought to get it. But me? A sporadic visitor? Hardly.

1488812

Bah. Well, chalk it up as lukewarm success, then.

I sought to pen the story that would impress the dullness on the reader. The feeling of old woulds that don`t even hurt as much as are.. just there.

Guess I should experiment with genre more, get a feel for it.

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