Duality

by MrPockets

Chapter 10: Deliverance

Chapter 10: Deliverance

“In the end, it is not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”
-Abraham Lincoln

“FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST, KEEP RUNNING.” I yelled over my shoulder at my straggling companions as we galloped frantically down a dim metal hallway as fast as our hooves could carry us.

“That definitely wasn’t the bridge!” Sandra shouted from the back of the group. This was the fastest she had moved since becoming a pony, and she was only just keeping ahead of the black monstrosities hot on our tails.

Luckily for us, the invasion force itself had made no attempt to attack or stop our fleeing, staying focused on their pre-programmed orders. Unluckily for us, however, three other tar-guards (AKA, tards) gave chase as we bolted out of the packed hangar. The black substance that made up their bodies morphed into grotesque, hulking masses squirming after us with a set of antennae sticking out above pale, lifeless eyes. The stuff of fucking nightmares, man.

Dan and Berry raced close beside me as we made a blind turn down another hallway. They seemed to be following my lead, despite the fact I had absolutely no idea where we were, let alone where to find the bridge and Unit Zero-One. Our pursuers were gaining on us, too. All-in-all, this mission was going pretty shit so far, though running for my life did keep my growing existential crisis at bay.

So... yay?

“Gahhh! Dan! Can’t you use your kung-fu on these guys or something?!” I cried at the blue pegasus.

“I am a goddamn horse, fuckwad!” He shouted back, flapping his wings wildly as he ran for extra speed, “How’d ya expect me to throw a punch with no fingers?!”

The brute closest to use slammed a mallet-shaped fist onto the ground, missing Sandra’s flank by mere inches. “Run faster, Sandra!” Berry yelled over the angry roar of the creature.

“I’m... huff... trying!” She huffed. Sitting at a computer all day doesn't do much to improve endurance.

"Unicorns..." said Berry, rolling her eyes. As if now was a good time for racism! The Tards were still gaining on us. We weren’t going to last much longer at this rate; we needed an edge! Preferably one with extensive training in mixed martial arts.

“Listen to me Dan, you can still punch and kick and shit!" I shouted at the manic pegasus as we turned down another gray hall, "Your body’s different, but your training and instincts are the same!” Worked for me with the whole walking thing, and I didn't train myself to do that.

“Dude, do you have any idea how gay that sounded?” Dan quipped breathlessly. From behind, one of the Tards winded a mushy roar, then dashed towards us in a full-on charge! Guess we'd find out if I was right one way or another.

“Oh man! Look, when I say go, we turn and stop this asshole! Aim for the eyes, got it?” He looked back at the rapidly approaching hostile, then met my eyes with a determined grin and nodded.

The beast lowered what served as it's head and roared again, only a few feet behind us now.

“GO!” I bellowed as loud as I could.

We threw on the breaks, turning to face the lumbering threat. Berry and Sandra tore past us and the monster came right at me. I attacked first with the same buck maneuver I had used on the Jackalope; pivoting and kicking with all my strength. The powerful strike pounded hard into what would have been it's guts (assuming it had any.) This thing was much stronger than the rabbit-deer-bear, however. It doubled-over, stunned, but far from defeated. It's head twitched up and the pale eyes locked onto me, their glow intensifying.

Unperturbed, Dan snapped into a fighter’s stance right in front of the goo minion. He unleashed a mighty war cry and shot off the ground like a rocket with a flap of his wings. He flew straight up, hoof-first, and landed a devastating uppercut to the thing's bubbling chin. The fluid attack caught the assailant completely off guard and the small machine inside it burst out of the top of its tar encasement. It smashed against the ceiling, crumpling like a pop can under a cinder block.

Dan followed through with a spin and landed back on the ground smoothly. The hot, gooey bulk of the thing collapsed into a steaming puddle as a shower of sparks from the destroyed machine rained down around the blue pegasus cinematically. “Oh yeah!” Dan shouted excitedly, “You're fucking dead, homeboy!” I gaped at the amazing act of sheer badass-ery that had unfolded in front of me. I couldn't help but feel a little emasculated by the showy display.

Behind us, the heavy hoof-falls of Berry and Sandra slowed and stopped further down the hall. They turned to see what was going on, staring at Dan in disbelief. (Probably amazed he had suddenly become useful.) The two other Tards following their comrade stopped in front of us and morphed into smaller forms. Though they retained their glowing eyes and antenna, they now stood on numerous legs with a mass of tentacles sticking out of their backs.

“Which one of you dickholes is next?” Dan asked, crouching into position and getting ready. I was there too. Just, you know, chilling. What can I say, I’m a dreamer, not a fighter.

Our newly-shaped foes lunged, one going for each of us with their groping appendages. Dan dodged to the side, catching the bundle of limbs beneath a foreleg and pulling the creature forward and off balance. I batted away one of the black strands... only to be ensnared by the other six.

“Fuck!” The hot ropes of tar wrapped around my body and started to tighten. “Little help here Dan!”

“Kinda busy right now!” He replied as he yanked on the tentacles to prevent this attacker from getting up. The one gripping me stood back, constricting the life out of me from a distance. I struggled to break free but it’s grip was just too strong. The boiling strands seared my skin and I could smell burning hair.

Dan released the hot braid of his current opponent and jumped high into the air with a series of wing beats. He rolled mid-air and pushed off of the ceiling, landing on the downed monster's head and crushing it beneath his hooves. I heard metal crunch and electronics buzz, then its glowing eyes went dark and its body dissolved into soup.

Sweet! Two down! I thought, realizing shortly afterwards that I hadn't actually taken either of them down, and more importantly, was currently being murdered by the third. It must have decided who the bigger threat was, because it sent several of the tentacles holding me after Dan. Bastard. I tried to break free again, the hold slightly weaker from fighting multiple opponents... but the Tard put an end to that by squeezing my neck so tight I almost passed out.

Running at full gallop, Dan dove onto his stomach, sliding right under the black ropes while flapping his wings for momentum. I fell to the floor, finding it hard to breathe as he slid straight up to the monster. Only feet away now, he sprung up into a flying Judo kick. He connected right between the thing's pale eyes and sent the blood-thirsty robot within shooting out its own ass like a crap-cannon. It whizzed down the hallway, hitting the ground and bouncing several yards further.

“Awwwww yeah! Out of the fucking park!” Dan shouted triumphantly to an adoring crowd only he could see. I got up off the hard floor, trying to catch my breath and convince myself that getting upstaged by the MMA fighter didn’t make me a total wuss.

How cute, Dan saved your life! Now you can ride off into the sunset together! He’d be riding you of course, seeing how you’re clearly the bitch.

My brain wasn’t helping. AS USUAL.

“Come on you guys! Let’s go, NOW!” Sandra shouted from down the hall. I put aside my threatened masculinity and ran towards the other two ponies, Dan galloping smugly behind me.

“Hey ladies! On a scale from 1 to 10, how amazing was I?” He asked the mares as we continued our improvised retreat. Sandra groaned loudly at the chauvinist remark. Berry just looked confused.

“I... shouldn’t answer that, should I?” Berry asked me.

“Hey, you’re learning!” I said back, running faster, “Okay, we need to find a place to lay low and figure shit out, before we run into more of those-”

We turned another corner, running right into two more Overseer sentries.

.

“HALT INTRUDERS.” They ordered simultaneously.

“...Mother fuckers.” I finished.

_________________________________________________

Twenty or so minutes of frantic running and fighting later, the four of us stood panting in a very small, very dark room. It’s heavy metal door slid shut and we were able to rest for a moment and collect ourselves.

“Okay... huff... we need a plan guys.” I said, rubbing my sore legs and scorched fur.

“Yeah, I can’t beat up a whole army by myself.” Dan said from the door, standing on his back legs and flexing in a stately pose that bugged the crap out of me. “Or actually, maybe I can!”

Of course, Dan had taken out all opposition we came across. After being slammed into a wall by an insectoid tar abomination, I was forced to swallow my pride (plus a little blood) and adopt a new strategy that mostly involved distracting the things long enough for Dan to deal with them. Helping!

“Shut up Dan, the grown-ups are talking.” I said in an attempt to put a lid on his adrenaline fueled ego. You’d think I’d know by now how pointless trying that was.

“Oh, I see how it is.” He scoffed, dropping back onto 4 hooves, “Maybe next time a shit-monster tries to rip your head off, I’ll fucking let it.”

“There isn’t time for you two to bicker like... little school fillies!” Berry spoke up, reaching her limit on retarded bickering. “We need to figure out where the bridge on this thing is.” Too bad for her Dan was still with us.

“And how do we do that? I didn’t see no maps out there.” Dan said to the purple pony, "Though I was kinda busy being all macho and shit."

We sat and brainstormed for a moment while Dan flexed and hummed the theme to American Gladiators to himself. I looked over my companions and was struck by a brilliant idea. I’m pretty sure there was a ding and a light bulb that appeared over my head. Cartoon universe is best universe!

“Sandra!” I said suddenly, snapping the mint-green unicorn out of her own thoughts with a start, “We can use Sandra’s magic to find the source of their control signal, and that will lead us right to Zero-One.” Ha! I may not be a good fighter, but I can improvise like a boss.

“My... magic?” Sandra said skeptically, poking at her horn with a hoof, ”But, I don’t even know how to use it...”

"And those things could find us any second!” added Berry.

“Then she’ll have to learn fast," I said, turning to Sandra with an encouraging smile, "You were able to push over my bags in that field, remember? Fire that thing up and see what happens!” She looked uncertain, but stood and closed her eyes anyway. After a few seconds, the dim room lit up with a pale green light emanating from her horn.

“For the record, I think my plan of killing everyone was way better.” said Dan, still flexing.

Ignoring him, I tried to aid the inexperienced unicorn, “Just relax, and don't forget to breath. Focus on Berry and I. We're from different dimension, and should have different magical auras that you can pick up on, according to Twilight and Luna. Try to... I don't know, try to feel us with your magic, like your felt my bags.”

“I’m not... getting anything...” Sandra said in deep concentration, “I mean, I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be feeling for...”

“Guess it’s up to me then,” Dan said, bringing his front hooves together to crack his fingers, then realizing he didn’t have any. “Man, not having hands fucking sucks. How do you stand this?” he asked Berry, holding up his digit-less feet.

“Please Dan, Sandra is trying to focus.” She said politely. I would have told him to shut his stupid face, but then maybe that’s why we fought so much.

“You can do it Sandra!” I encouraged her. This just had to work! I couldn't let Dan outshine me in front of Berry and Sandra!

“I... think I’m sensing... something.” Her horn glowed slightly brighter, “But it’s hard to know what it actually is. Someone leave the room, I need to see what difference it makes.”

“Dan, go outside.” I ordered my roommate.

“Well, since you asked so fucking nicely...” He replied, sitting on his haunches and sticking his tongue out at me.

I rolled my eyes and walked past him to the door, knowing it would be much easier to just go myself. It opened after I hit a square panel to its side and I stuck my head out to make sure the way was clear. Once I was sure there weren’t any murder bots around, I stepped into the hall.

Sandra focused, her eyes still clamped shut, “Ooookay... now, try closing the door.”

“With pleasure.” Dan said, getting up and hitting the button I'd just used. He blew a raspberry as the door closed, leaving me alone in the gray hallway, trying to look inconspicuous, which is kinda difficult when you’re a vibrant red pony in a spaceship.

“Man, this is bullcrap...” I muttered to myself after a few seconds. “Can I come back in now?”

The door slid open. “What’s the password?” Dan asked, blocking the way.

“Is it ‘fuck you, douchebag’?” I offered.

“Hey! I felt something when the door opened!” Sandra said from within. I pushed past Dan and closed the door. “I can... sort of tell where you guys are, and who’s who if I really concentrate. Berry is especially easy to pick out, but you guys also have distinct vibes too. It’s almost like... seeing you as different colours and shades. That’s so cool!”

“Colours... right. And that helps us how?” Dan asked sarcastically.

“There’s something else, and it’s much stronger. Like a bright colour in a sea of black.” She answered, aiming her horn around the room. “There.” She stopped, pointing a hoof up and to the right. “It’s coming from above us. That has to be him.”

“Nice work Sandra! I knew you could do it.” Berry applauded, making her blush modestly.

“Great, so now we gotta find some stairs.” said Dan, opening the door and stepping out.

“There won’t be stairs on a spaceship, you retard!” I snapped after him.

“Eat a dick sandwich, Jon.”

Berry shook her head. “Like little fillies...”

__________________________________________________

So we set out into the unfamiliar spacecraft in search of an elevator. We could only assume the invasion was put on hold, considering the Overseers knew we were on board. More and more patrols started popping up, so it was pretty obvious they were looking for us.

“Hold up guys, someone’s coming!” Sandra stopped, her horn glowing. Since she could now sense the unique vibes the tar-bots produced, avoiding their sentries had become much easier.

Scanning the wall next to us, I found one of the square panels we had come to recognize as door controls. I punched it with a hoof and we ducked inside, the door sliding shut behind us.

“Oh sweet Celestia...” Berry whispered. I turned to see what she was looking at, and my eyelids shot wide open.

We must have entered some sort of observation deck, because before us was a huge window with a magnificent view of Equestria from two hundred miles up. A distant sun lit up the surface of the planet, and between the sparse clouds I could clearly see rolling green fields and forests. In the distance, a large body of water shimmered. The sight was truly breathtaking, and I consider myself an expert on oxygen deprivation. We walked up to the window and took in the view for a long while, temporarily forgetting the urgency of our situation.

“It’s so... beautiful.” Berry said quietly.

“What? You’ve never seen your planet from space before?” I joked.

She shook her head slowly, unable to tear her gaze away from the sight. Considering she essentially lives in the dark ages, I could only imagine what was going through her mind. Seeing you home like that for the first time, it can really change your perception and open you mind.

“I’m hungry.” Dan said. We all ignored him.

“We’re very close now.” Sandra said, her horn glowing once again, “We just need to find a way upstair- I mean... up.” She corrected herself, shooting me a sheepish grin.

Dan snorted. “Does that make her retarded too?”

I continued to ignore Dan (a strategy I was finding incredibly effective) and looked around the room, spotting several doors besides the one we came in through. “We should check the doors in here, maybe we can find an elevator or something.”

“...Or something?” Dan said, moving away from the window. Sandra and I did the same while Berry continued to sit on her haunches and stare at her home planet, muttering something about needing a drink.

I sighed loudly, hitting a button and revealing another long, empty hallway, “For the last time Dan, there won’t be any goddamn stairs on a spaceship.” I closed the door and moved on to the next one.

“Guys, please. This magic is making my head hurt enough, you two aren’t helping.” Sandra opened another door, peeked in and closed it again.

“Sorry, Sandra,” I sighed, “I guess I’m just a little irritable right now.”

“Like you’re bowels.” Dan pitched in.

“Sure, why not.” I rolled my eyes and hit another button.

Fucking stairs.

I stood in utter disbelief as the others checked the rest of the exits, unable to comprehend the stupidity that lay before me. But... why? In space... and the tar...? I just.... it can’t...

“Hey! I found the elevator!” Sandra said off to my left.

I blinked a few times, then hit the button and shut the door without a word. None must ever know. Especially Dan.

“Yo, purple lady, let’s bounce.” Dan said obviously to Berry, who was still enthralled by the view.

She snapped out of her trance and with a final look out the window, then trotted over to the lift. “Y-yes, I’m coming... And my name is Berry Punch, for the record.”

Dan shrugged, “Whatever, let’s just get a move on. I’m sick of being a dumb horse.” he said as he stepped into the elevator with Sandra and I. Berry shook her head again and squeezed into the metal box with the crazy humans.

________________________________________________

We rode upwards floor by floor, allowing Sandra to do a magic scan each time. “Okay, I think we passed it.” She said after we hit the sixth level up, “Let’s go back down one and that should be it.”

“Thank Christ, it smells like a barn in here.” Dan complained. Well, what did you expect? We went down a floor and piled out of the cramped lift. “Fuck! Much better.”

Sandra’s horn lit up and she rubbed her temples. The strain on her untrained horn must have been getting to her. “Owww. Okay this is it, I’m positive. Good thing too, I can’t keep this up much longer.” We ventured down the dark halls, following Sandra’s laboured guidance. Patrols were much more frequent here, so our progress slowed to a crawl. We had to duck into side rooms several times, and we were caught doing so once.

The Tard that spotted us ordered we halt, then morphed into a long, black snake and slithered towards the open door of our would-be sanctuary. It threw itself forward and Dan shut the door, cutting off it’s head. The little machine fell to the floor, and he promptly crushed it under his blue hooves.

“Man, this still all gay and shit, but am I not the best horse-thing EVER?!” He asked Berry boastfully.

She gave me a worried look. “...You’re sure that there aren’t other humans like him?”

“Our civilization would have collapsed ages ago if there were.” I assured her.

A few close calls later, the four of us stood outside a large entrance Sandra proclaimed led to the bridge. There were guards posted outside, but they were no match for Dan. He tackled the first into a wall and slammed it’s head repeatedly against the hard metal surface. When it stopped moving, he rocketed up to the ceiling and dive bombed it's partner, laughing with delight at his own physical prowess. I was afraid if his ego got any bigger, it would pull the ship out of orbit.

“Okay guys, this is it.” I refocused the group and stepped up to the big door, “Keep you eyes open in there. I’ll do the talking, you guys back me up. Dan, just... be quiet.”

“Whatever...” He replied, lifting off the ground in a stable hover. I gotta give it to Rainbow Dash, she must be some sort of miracle worker. Now if only she got around to tutoring Scootaloo...

“Do you know what you're going to say?” Berry asked from my side.

“Ummm, I have a few ideas...” I replied. Things had been so hectic since our arrival, I hadn’t really put much thought into it. There were a few key points I was planning on making... I just couldn't really remember what they were at the moment. Good thing I can improvise... right?

“We’re doomed.” Dan said from above.

“Everything’s gonna be fine. We’ll be back in our respective dimensions and bodies in time for dinner. Trust me.” I tried to convince the others, though my own doubts were at the forefront of my mind.

“The only part of that I liked was dinner.” said Dan.

“I thought I told you to be quiet.” I opened the door, cutting off whatever moronic reply he was about to throw my way.

The big doors parted slowly, revealing an open control room. Massive computers with blinking lights covered the walls, and I was able to pick out a few maps as well (though I doubted I could read them, even with proper lighting.) Another window showcased the spectacular view of Equestria, the pale light flowing in the only source of illumination. The place appeared to be deserted, the computers humming without the interaction of a crew.

Nothing happen for a few seconds, so I swallowed nervously and crossed the threshold into the bridge, the others following cautiously.

“Umm, I thought that dude was supposed to be here or something?” Dan pointed out.

“I was sure this was it...” Sandra said, revving up her magic as we crept further in.

“I guess the ship is controlled by these computers,” I examined the alien machines, which didn’t appear to have any sort of physical inputs. Maybe they were controlled remotely? If so, why have a bridge at all? So the captain has a place to sit and seduce alien women?

“I’m still picking up the signal,” Sandra said, “it’s stronger here than it’s been anywhere else.”

“Then where is this jerk?” Dan asked impatiently, flying up to investigate the raised platform floor above us.

“I have a bad feeling about this...” Berry muttered to herself.

I turned away from the map I was reading and locked her with a terse glare, “You just had to go and say that.”

Suddenly, the large door we had entered from slid closed ominously. “What?! What did I do?” She stammered, meeting my scowl with panicked confusion.

“In our movies, whenever someone says they ‘have a bad feeling’, that’s when things go wrong.”

A black arm shot of the darkness, striking Dan and sending him spiraling out of the air. He crashed into the window like a bug on a windshield and slid to the floor. The arm retracted into the shadows and a dark shape with glowing eyes leaped off the upper platform, landing directly in front of me with a splash of hot tar.

“We meet again, Anomaly.” Unit Zero-One growled in his familiar, gravelly voice. His current form was featureless, just a big, bubbling blob with pale, dead eyes not unlike those of a shark, or a clown on acid. Or a shark on acid.

“Actually, my name is Jon.” I informed the monster, hoping to start the mediation with some polite banter. He had other plans, however, and before I could utter another syllable, he reached out with a portion of his bulk, grabbing me by the jaw and slamming me down on the hard floor. The tar spread, covering my whole face and I found, once again, that I could not breathe.

“Hey, stop! We’re here to negotiate with you!” Berry ran in to my rescue... and met the same fate as the last time she'd tried that: a swift kick in the face.

“There will be no negotiations.” Jerk-bot said as my nose filled with the awful stink of his tar body. “Though I will thank you for delivering yourselves to us, saves us the trouble of having to finding you.”

Sandra stepped up to the plate next, “Please, you don’t understand! Just hear us out!” I struggled uselessly as the hot substance burned the inside of my mouth like a frozen pizza I couldn't be arsed to let cool.

“Ugg, should have seen that coming...” Berry said, shaking off the hit and rejoining the failing parley.

“It is you who do not understand,” Zero One’s synthesized voice droned, “This must be done. Order will be restored to this realm and he will go back where he belongs. Then, I shall deal with the rest of you intruders.” He looked over to where Dan had fallen, only to discover he was gone.

“Now we do this my way, dicknose!” He shot down from the high ceiling with incredible speed and punched a hole right through Zero One’s body, splattering tar all over. Dan skidded to a stop on the ground, shaking the hot goo from his fur like a wet dog.

Our enemy wasn’t finished yet, however. “FOOLS. I seek only to preserve harmony! How dare you oppose me!” The gaping hole in Zero-One's torso closed itself, his body shrinking slightly. I felt the tar withdrawing out of my mouth, so I pulled backwards and managed to break free of the burning death-hold.

I hobbled away as fast as I could, gasping for breath and coughing up acrid smoke, “Harmony? What’s harmonious about killing innocent people?” I wheezed.

Dan swooped in again, aiming for the reduced assailant's head this time. Without the element of surprise though, Zero-One easily blocked the attack, grabbing Dan’s hind legs and holding him upside down.

“Lemme go, asshole!” He struggled, flapping his wings and swearing profusely. Zero-One’s chest opened up and he placed the cussing pegasus inside. He closed the rent in his body, accomplishing something I had thought was impossible: he silenced Dan.

“You are far from innocent.” said the bulging monster, lumbering over to the three of us who remained, “Interdimensional trespassing is a severe violation of the code we are programmed to uphold, one that justifies any rectification we deem necessary to retain order.” He lunged at me, but his unwieldy form allowed ample opportunity to dodge. I jumped to the left and rolled out of the way easily.

“So you think it's necessary to murder someone who accidentally broke a law they had no idea existed?” I shouted back.

“If there were a simpler solution, we would be doing that instead. By killing you here, you will instantly be transported to the sector you belong in and our work will be done.” Zero-One went for Sandra this time, and she was unable to evade. He lifted her off the ground with a bubbling fist.

“But... he’s in a coma on Earth!” She cried, fighting his unnaturally strong grip.

“That is not a concern of mine.” He replied. Berry ran in again and I joined her charge. Zero-One shot out with dark hammer-fists, but we both knew this attack was coming by now and ducked, moving in close and throwing the strongest assaults we could muster. They did next to nothing to the gooey frame.

“Dammit! We need Dan!” I hated to admit it, but we were hopeless in a fight without him.

“Why don’t you make this easy for yourselves and allow me to fulfill my purpose?” The bastard gloated.

“Fuck that noise!” I shouted, kicking angrily. Zero-One swatted Berry and I away from him with an powerful swipe.

“It is futile. I have existed since before your worlds came to be. I cannot be destroyed by such pitiful means-” His mockery was cut short by a sudden explosion of colour, like a hundred firecrackers going off in his face. From my position on the floor, I could see the bright glow coming from Sandra’s horn, the colours shooting out and scrambling the robot’s optics, temporarily blinding him.

Sandra fell clumsily to the ground as Zero-One tried to recover from the visual onslaught. Thinking fast, she stood and jammed her horn into the hot tar. Zero-One growled in frustration and sent her soaring across the room with one fell swoop.

The damage had been done though, and before he could close the hole up, Dan burst out of his boiling prison like an alien from that movie (you know, the one with the aliens?) He fell to the floor as steam billowed off his body, gasping for air. Elevator doesn’t seems so bad now, does it? I thought.

“God... Fucking... Dammit.” He heaved and barfed; thick black tar flowed from his mouth and nostrils.

“Why must you resist?” Zero-One fumed, smaller still after the impromptu chest evacuation.

“Why are you so stubborn?” Berry shot back, helping Sandra up as I made sure Dan was okay. “Can’t we sit down like adults and work something out here? Honestly, making Pina brush her teeth is easier than this...”

“NO.” He shrieked, “Regardless of circumstances, actions have consequences. The anomaly must be punished and removed.” He sprung forward and we kept our distance, avoiding his increasingly frantic attacks.

Dan pushed me away and scrambled onto his hooves, taking sloppily to the air. “This mother fucker is going DOWN!” Running on pure anger, adrenaline, and copious amounts of testosterone, he zoomed in and attacked the beast head-on.

Dan thrashed with brutal efficiency, flinging hot goop everywhere and cursing enough to make a sailor blush. Zero-One shrieked effeminately again (seriously, it sounded like a 15 year old girl getting run over by a steamroller) as he tried to slap away the irate blur that was tearing him apart.

“And that’s for sticking me in your fucking chest, you cock-gargling sack of shi-”

The reduced mass of Zero One finally connected, gripping Dan's neck and slamming him to the ground. His antenna crackled to life and a second later, the doors slid open. In rushed dozens of reinforcements who surrounded us, blocking our only exit. Zero-One’s arm formed a sharp point and raised it over his pinned prey. We stopped in our tracks. There were too many, and I we moved, Dan was dead. And without Dan, we didn't stand a chance.

Just like that, we had lost.

That’s it then. We failed. I thought gloomily. Luna had believed in me, she was sure I could do this. But I couldn’t. Just like everything else I had ever tried to do, I wasn't good enough. These bastards wanted to punish me, and I surely would be. After watching my friend get killed, I’d be doomed to a living death as I rotted away in a hospital bed until a power I couldn’t comprehend decided I had finally suffered enough and allowed me to die.

Have faith in yourself. Luna’s words echoed in my head.

“Wait!” I cried before the knife-point opened my roommate’s throat, “Look... I-I’m sorry I trespassed in Equestria. I was bored with my life and just wanted some excitement! I don’t even know how I did it!” All eyes, organic and otherwise, fell on the wretched space-time criminal pleading for mercy. “If... if there was a switch I could hit that would turn it off, I would use it. I’d give it all up for a chance at a normal life, honest. If I need to be punished, isn’t there a way you can... take away the one thing that makes me special? Would that be punishment enough?”

The words tumbled out before I could stop them. Was I really willing to give that up? Even if it saved my life?

Everything was uncomfortably still for what felt like a long time.

“You would be willing to shut yourself off from all external influence?” Zero-One asked calmly, his arm still poised in murder position.

I paused in shock, surprised my desperate pattering had done anything, and took in the scene around me. The black tar monsters surrounded my friends-turned-ponies and Berry Punch, a character from a kids TV show. Outside, the beautiful, alien landscape stretched out before me, stars glittering brightly in the darkness it floated on. It was all the product of the unique ability I had discovered; my one true special talent.

And now I was going to have to give it all up.

“Yes.” I said with a sigh, “But, only if you can wake me up from my coma. Then you can do... whatever you feel you have to. And nobody gets killed.”

The machine computed the scenario, calculating the variables while Dan struggled underfoot. Zero-One hardly seemed to notice. “We have been developing a procedure to stop anomalies like you from crossing the void. It is designed to block out the signals you used to find this place and transport yourself here. If you are willing to help us test this procedure, we will do what we can to aid you in your predicament.”

"Really?" I balked at that; the sudden change of heart was just too fishy. But... Luna herself said these guys weren't evil villains, just... the keepers of order in a system of unending chaos. "So, if I do this, you’d help me wake up and send us all home? Murder free?”

“Affirmative. However, I cannot guarantee success. This solution is more difficult for us, but we would get invaluable test data from a willing subject. Our offer stands.”

“And this procedure... are there any side effects?” May as well know what I’m getting into, “Or like, anal probing?” Can't be too careful.

“...No, though your mind will still attempt to seek out external input while you sleep. This will not affect you while awake, but at night, your mind will continually call out to the void, but receive nothing back.”

“You're saying he won’t be able to have dreams anymore?” Sandra asked as I came to the same realization.

Zero-One's eyes shifted to look at the unicorn, “Affirmative. Isolation is the key to this procedure." She gasped, and his eyes turned back to me, "We will be watching you as well, to ensure the effects are retained over time.”

I slumped and fell to my haunches. That meant I’d be going back to my tedious, uneventful life, with no escape. Ever. Sandra and Berry gave me sympathetic looks and I felt the desolation sink in.

Faith in yourself. The words resounded again. Maybe what Luna meant was that I didn’t need all this. That I held the keys to my own future. Is it not possible to lead an interesting life without interdimensional trespassing? Guess I was going to find out.

“...Is there any other way?” Berry asked. Zero-One reformed his spear arm and positioned it above Dan.

“I’ll do it.” I said with a sigh of resignation. “For fuck’s sake, I’ll do it.”

__________________________________________________

We traveled through the ship in silence, flanked by numerous Tards. My bruised and bloodied friends apparently weren’t in the mood for chatting with the one who gave them their beatings, I know I wasn't. Dan seemed particularly bitter, most likely because of losing to the tar figure leading the way. Zero-One plodded along, having returned to his pony form, completely oblivious to the awkwardness of the situation.

I noticed all this in passing, my thoughts moving a mile a minute. I was about to undergo a never-before-tested alien surgery that would take away my only natural gift. Not to mention there was still a possibility that I’d be spending the rest of my days a vegetable. To say I was apprehensive would be a huge understatement.

Zero-One lead us back to the hangar we had been mistakenly teleported to earlier and out through a side door. The large room inside was filled with more input-less computers and a huge glowing cylinder in the center that spanned from floor to ceiling. It pulsated with blue light and hummed slightly. Thick wires branched off it to dozens of metal pods that lined the walls.

“This is the Matter Transference Bay.” Zero-One informed us flatly, breaking the tense silence, “We use it to send only urgent enforcements and supplies across the universe. It will be sending you back to your respective sectors.”

“I hate your fucking face.” Dan huffed. Guess he was still a little butthurt.

“If you would, please enter a pod and prepare for transference.” Zero-One commanded, ignoring Dan. Smart move.

“What? Right now?” I asked in confusion. “What about the procedure?”

“That must be done to your original form, for it is the one that communes with the void. Assuming you awaken on your world, I shall be there shortly to personally uphold our agreement.”

“Oh, uhhh, okay then.” I said, then turned to the others, “I guess this is it then...”

Berry ran up and hugged me for what was bound to be the last time, regardless of what happened to me. “What you’re doing is insane.” She said reassuringly, “What am I supposed to tell Pina?”

I hugged back, “Tell her the truth. I want her to learn what I have so she doesn’t make the same mistakes.”

She smiled at me with misty eyes. “I’m going to miss you, Jon. I know we haven’t actually know each other long... but you’re the first pony I’ve really connected with in a long time.”

I released the purple dipsomaniac and smiled at her. “Not a pony, remember?” She laughed, and punched my in the shoulder with a hoof.

“Uggg, just when things were getting not gay... “Dan said dramatically, stepping into the nearest pod. “Can we just get the fuck out of here? I can’t deal with this crap anymore.”

Berry rolled her eyes and broke her hug, “Eight.” she said to the impatient pegasus. He stared back in confusion. “To answer your question from earlier? I give you an 8. Maybe 8.5; you were pretty awesome back there.”

Dan's face lit up in realization, then he beamed smugly. “Finally, some recognition!”

Berry giggled and faced Sandra, “It was a pleasure to meet you Sandra! I hope things work out well, for all of you.” She gave me a knowing look and I blushed right through my soon-to-be-gone coat.

“You too! And just so you know, you were always one of my favourite background ponies. You should try to get more lines in if you can! Crash one of Pinkie’s parties or something.” They let each other go and Sandra entered a pod after shooting my an encouraging smile.

Then I said my final words to Berry.“Welp, I suppose this is goodbye forever. It was amazing to meet you though, and don’t forget what I told you in Twilight’s basement.” I said, trying to push what she had said to Dan out of my head. I mean... 8.5? No way...

She smiled bashfully, “I will. And don’t worry, you get a nine for the whole jackalope stunt.”

Oh YEAH! Kiss my red ass, Dan!

Laughing to ourselves, we hugged one last time and entered the pods next to Dan and Sandra.

Zero-One did his weird tar walk (yep, still creepy) and stood where we could all see him. “I must issue one final stipulation; do not tell any others about what happened here, or about our existence. We’d prefer to stay in the shadows of existance.”

“Oh yeah?! And what’re you gonna do to stop us asshole?” Dan snapped, releasing his pent up anger.

Zero-One’s antenna crackled and Dan’s pod was sealed shut by a thick glass door, silencing Dan for a second time. This guy’s good. I thought as Dan banged on the inside furiously, shouting curses we couldn’t hear.

“If we detect an increase in anomalous activity originating from either of your worlds, we shall consider our deal rescinded, and actions will be taken to quell the influx.” He finished, letting the threat hang in the air heavily.

"We understand.” I said, breaking ensuing the silence. I knew Berry would still tell Pina what happened to me anyway, she was just amazing like that. ”So... these pods will send us home, right?”

“Correct. She will merely be transported back to site alpha on the planet below,” Zero-One gestured at Berry, "and you three across the void and back into your bodies. Your sector is relatively close, but a great amount of energy is still required. Your current forms will be dismantled on a molecular scale and returned to the universe, but you will be heedless of this destruction.” He crackled again and the blue cylinder glowed brighter and buzzed louder, sending mysterious energy down the cables to every pod but mine.

I didn’t exactly like that ‘molecular dismantling’ bit; I had grown fond of my pony body. On the other hoof, it was still better than being murdered into a never-ending coma. “But what about me?” I asked, trying not to think about my imminent disintegration and instead watching the machines operate. Even Dan stopped banging on the glass to watch. Or maybe he just got bored.

“Your pod will be given an increased charge after the others have transported. Your consciousness will enter the inoperable body with far greater force than theirs do, initiating a hard reset, and likely waking you up.”

“Likely?” I repeated cynically.

“I did say there was no guarantee. The other pods are ready, initiating transference now. ” He signaled again and I heard Sandra and Berry’s pods seal themselves. The buzzing intensified tenfold with an intense light that burned my retinas, likely causing permanent. Not that it mattered, they were going to be dissolved soon anyway.

There was a loud discharge of energy and I found myself alone with Zero-One. My vision and hearing returned slowly as he began to charge my pod. “Transference successful.” Zero-One said and I sighed with relief. No matter what happened to me, my friends were safe. My pod continued to charge with what must have been an ungodly amount of energy, “Is testing this procedure really worth all this?” I asked as the question surfaced in my head.

“If it works, we will be able to stop anomalies with increased efficiency, saving us immeasurable time and energy.”

I shook my head at that, “That’s what this all boils down to, isn't it? Is interdimensional trespassing really as bad as you think it is? I mean, I was able to learn so much from all this, and I think I really touched some of the ponies I met. How can that be a crime?”

The machines continued to amass power noisily under Zero-One's unblinking eyes. “You have not seen the true face of the universe." he said, then tone of his synthetic voice lowering in a way that almost sounded regretful, "Greed and lust for power have destroyed so much, and allowing its spread would doom countless lives and civilizations. There have been many others with your gift over the millennia, you see, most try to run from us. You have been the first to willingly give up your power, an anomaly among anomalies.”

I let that sink in. As much as I hated the gooey bastard, I’m sure he’d prevented an unimaginable amount of suffering by following his programming. He was basically a saint, dealing with evil on a universal scale so others could have better lives.

“I... want to thank you. Not just for helping me, but for what you Overseers do. I think I’m starting to understand... but, for the record, you could've saved us all a lot of fucking trouble by just explaining shit though in the first place.” I said heatedly to the thing that had tried to kill me on more than one occasion. He may be saintly, but he was still a jerk.

He looked into my soul with his pupil-less eyes and didn’t respond for a while.

“Perhaps we'll look into warning cards..." He finally said, "The pod is now charged. Prepare for transference.”

I face-hoof’d, giving my abused body one last bruise. “Might be a good idea, dude. Now let’s do this.”

The glass door slid shut and I was surrounded by light. It intensified until it was burning every part of me, inside and out. I found I could no longer feel the floor, and then, with a roar as loud as a jet engine, all my senses went dark.

__________________________________________________

That old feeling of terror resurfaced; the one where I had no idea where I was. Everything was black, silent. I couldn’t feel anything.

Oh Jesus, it didn’t work... I’m in a coma and I’ll never wake up and...?” I stopped thinking, at least I thought I was thinking. “...Can I... hear this?” A quiet voice echoed quietly from the darkness. It sounded like it was underwater, and coming out of the world’s shittiest speakers, but it was undeniably my voice.

“Hello?” I tried to say a little louder. The voice was louder too. “HELLO!” I said as loud as I could. The return wasn’t very much, but it was something. I tried to blink, but the darkness wouldn’t part. I floated on my unfeeling body, giving my senses time to reboot.

Another sound slowly became apparent, a rhythmic tapping which I eventually identified as rain. My black world transitioned to dark gray, and around me, the dark room came into focus. Though I wasn’t able to move my head, I realized I was lying on a bed in a hospital at night. A window in the door let in light from the hallway outside and rain pattered against a window to my right somewhere.

“I’m back... and awake!... or maybe, I’m still in a coma and none of this is real...” Uuggg, not this thought train again.

Faith in yourself. I remembered, pushing the thoughts away and attempting to move my numb body. Before I had a chance, however, the room went dark again. I tried to figure out why, when I noticed a dark shape with glowing eyes outside in the hall, blocking the light.

I froze in fear as the door slowly opened and a black mass of tar in the shape of a man with twin antennae entered. It moved slowly up to my bedside and placed some sort of device against my head. I fought to get a look at it, but it was beyond the range of my peripherals.

“Be still.” A gravelly voice ordered, “This will only take a moment.”

“Will it hurt?” I asked in a tiny whisper, breathing unsteadily and preparing to be a guinea pig. He didn’t answer, which made it a buttload harder.

Unit Zero-One made adjustments to the device and I waited for my punishment. “Are you ready?” He asked after what felt like an eternity.

“As I’ll ever be.” I lied. There was no way to ever be ready for this.

He activated the machine, and my head exploded with pain.

_________________________________________________________

“Jon? Can you hear me? Jon?”

My head pounded with the force of a billion hangovers. The light shinning through my eyelids made me nauseous, and slightest noise set off a tremor of unbearable pain. The fluorescent lights above buzzed electrically, rattling my gray matter. I groaned in pain.

“He’s awake!” A voice shouted; the sudden onslaught of sound almost making me puke, then almost shit myself. Then almost puke again. My body was very disoriented.

“Please... humph... quietly...” I pleaded softly.

“OH!... Sorry...” Sandra whispered, which still hurt like fucking hell.

“It’s... okay,” I opened my puffy eyes with effort. Everything hurt and I was shaking all over, but through it all I was able to make out the beautiful blonde woman sitting on my bed.

“Hey... you’re not a pony.” I said hazily. I could barely keep my eyes open and the room was spinning.

“Neither are you, ‘Night Cap’.” She giggled, then sighed and took my limp hand. Hey, hands! Oh how I've missed you. “I woke up in my bed last night so worried; I nearly went crazy waiting for visitation hours this morning. It was awful.” I watched her through a fog as she leaned in and hugged me gently. I say it was gentle, but I still almost barfed again.

Biting back tears of pain and sickness, I lifted a heavy arm around her and returned the hug, flexing my recently returned fingers. “Sandra,” I focused. There was something I had to say, after all. “I... kinda, really like you.”

“No kidding?” She said sarcastically, breaking the hug and looking into my eyes. She put her hands on my cheeks and placed a soft kiss on my lips. It was amazing. It was perfect. I still almost threw up, but in the best kind of way possible. She sat back and smiled. “Cause, I kinda really like you too. Even though you almost puked in my mouth just now.”

I laughed painfully, “You could tell?”

“Of course, jerk!” She joked, moving in for a another agonizing hug. I was reminded of my first meeting with Fluttershy. “So, did... they do it already?”

I hugged back weakly, recalling my visitor last night. “Yes.” We continued to embrace lovingly. I had lost something, and the pain from that would stay with me forever, but in that moment I had something to hold onto, and I didn't want to let go.

“Oh, Jon...” Sandra whispered sadly.

We held onto each other for a very long time and I couldn't help but smile. It wasn’t all bad, all was not lost. I had this moment, and it was everything life should be, everything I was missing out on by hiding away in my dreams. It was everything I had been missing, but not anymore.

This was a new beginning for Jon Clarke. The beginning of a new life, a better life.

Suddenly, the door burst open with a bang louder than an atomic bomb. My whole body shook with pain as Dan jumped into the room with a half-empty bucket of fried chicken and yelled, “Sup dorks! What’s shakin’?” while biting into a greasy drumstick.

It was just too much for me. I couldn’t hold it any longer. With a full body wretch, I vomited all over Sandra; in her face, in her hair. Everywhere. She rolled off the bed in disgust and I emptied the rest of my stomach onto myself.

“Fuck, Dan!” Sandra swore, the first I’ve heard her do so, “You really know how to spoil the mood!”

“What? How is this my fault?” He asked, taking another bit of chicken, unaffected by my bodily display.

I sat heaving in my own puke. “You. Fucking. SHITHEAD.” I shouted, gathering a handful of up-chuck and whipping it at his stupid face, my anger overcoming the stiffness.

The barf projectile splattered wetly all over him. He stood in disbelief, then threw the soiled fast food to the floor. “Now you fucked up, man.” He jumped onto my sullied bed and we wrestled in the puke, hitting each other wildly and swearing like crazy. Several nurses ran in to stop the retardedness as Sandra sat on the floor, cleaning herself up and shaking her head.

“Like little school fillies...”

Comments

[MerlosTheMad]

...

The Epic finale everypony!...

Whooo....!

[AppleTank]

Oh Dan.

[ferret]

this is eleven chapters.

[Luckyfanisaac]

“I am a goddamn horse , fuckwad!” He shouted back, flapping his wings wildly as he ran for extra speed, “How’d ya expect me to throw a punch with no fingers ?!”

You don’t need fingers to through a punch but maybe knuckles.

We're from a different dimension,

A black arm shot from the darkness, striking Dan and sending him spiraling out of the air.

There were too many, and if we moved, Dan was dead.

They let each other go and Sandra entered a pod after shooting me an encouraging smile.

I said, breaking the ensuing silence.

he said, the tone of his synthetic voice lowering in a way that almost sounded regretful,