Samhainophobia
Samhainophobia
By Dramapony
Fluttershy awoke in the night. She shot up in her bed. Darkness surrounded the bedroom. Clenching her chest, she felt the sharp pain of fear burning inside. She used her free hoof to reach over to her nightstand and flicked on the oil lamp. A warm light filled the cold chamber. She found reassurance of her surroundings. A snow-white bunny was curled in a bundle at the foot of the bed, glaring at her.
“Sorry Angel,” Fluttershy apologized while rubbing her eyes, “I just can’t control these nightmares at this time of year.” She glanced at her clock: 3:00 A.M. Then her calendar. Upon seeing the date printed in black and white, her face turned a pale sour apple green. She felt her stomach churn madly like butter. A great force came up her ribcage, then into her throat, then her mouth.
Fluttershy leapt from the bed. Sprinting into her bathroom, she lifted up her toilet seat and vomited. How long was she bent over the bowl performing this painful task? Five minutes? Ten minutes? She could not tell. Once her purging was complete, she lifted herself up to her mirror above the sink and flipped on a switch.
Gazing back at her in the reflection was a Fluttershy that she knew only once a year. Her cotton candy pink mane—usually so straight, neat and silky—was now a large messy clump. Her eyes were painted blood red. Dark semi-circles spread under her lids like a raccoon. The fifth night in a row, and still no sleep. I hate this day so much. She rinsed her mouth to rid the remaining sick. It was the worst taste she had ever experienced in a long time. The mare marched herself back to the side of the bed and sat down. She was now wide-awake. Trying to fall back asleep would be pointless.
Fluttershy realized that she was now completely helpless. As the thoughts of the night to come danced around in her head, she held herself tightly. Hot sweat ran down her coat. Her head drooped to the ground. She began breathing in a barely audible whisper. Seconds turned to minutes, minutes to hours, and she stayed in that position till sunrise.
The time was now nine o’clock. Catatonically, Fluttershy left the bed and walked down stairs. A gathering of squirrels, birds, bunnies and other small rodents ran up to her expecting to receive love, affection and food from their favorite caretaker. However, she just ignored them, and continued to stare out into space.
A knock came. “Coming, just give me a minute.” After a brief moment of taking slow deep breaths, she walked over and answered the door. A lavender unicorn with a light smile was standing on the welcome mat. “Oh, hi Twilight, please come in and make yourself at home.”
Her friend came into the house. Fluttershy closed the door lightly. She ran her hooves over her mane to smooth out the mess. She attempted to smile for her guest, but even that seemed like a challenge to her on this day. “Can I get you anything? Tea? Water? Maybe some fresh fruit?”
“I’m good, but thank you Fluttershy,” said Twilight. Her voice grew more sympathetic. “I just wanted to see if you were doing okay, we haven’t seen you come out of your house in days.”
“Oh, I’m… fine. I’m just a little afraid to go into town at the time, with Nightmare Night being tonight.”
“That’s what it’s all about?” Twilight sounded almost shocked. “It’s just a holiday.”
“Just a holiday?" Fluttershy began to shiver. "I’ve only gone out once in my whole lifetime; I was just a foal. It was the scariest night of my life. I swore to never go out again, but now no matter what happens, I just can’t escape.”
“But you know it won’t actually harm you.” Twilight began to switch into lecture mode. “Your brain is just focusing on that one negative experience when you think of Nightmare Night, but everything you see is all fake. The pranks are completely harmless, the costumes are just costumes, and you know Luna’s not evil anymore. You even saw her at the royal wedding and you weren’t afraid of her then.”
“Yes I guess you’re right, but even if it is all fake, I just know it’s still going to scare me. And the reason why I wasn’t so afraid of Luna at the wedding is because she wasn’t Nightmare Moon, trying to scare or eat me. I don’t want to take my chances.” Fluttershy began to turn away.
“I just don’t think you should spend every year cooped up at home. It’s one of the most popular events in Ponyville, and everypony has such a great time.”
“Well I guess I’m the only exception, I’m sorry.”
Twilight wrapped her foreleg around her friend’s shoulder. “Are you sure you’ll be alright tonight all by yourself?”
“Yes!” Fluttershy quickly answered.
“Seriously, if you want me to put up a force field around your house or anything—”
“Thank you, but I’ll be fine.” Fluttershy took a step away from Twilight, signaling that she wanted the conversation to be over.
“Well okay then, I hope you’ll be safe this year and I guess I’ll see you later.” The librarian started to head out the door.
“Just promise me one thing,” the pegasus suddenly stopped her, “please don’t bring anypony to my house again this year. I don’t want to give any more voice lessons, or have any other visitors.” Her voice was beginning to crack. “If you don’t mind that is.”
“I understand.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem. Have a good night.” As Twilight left the cottage, Fluttershy stood in the dead center of her living room, where she would remain frozen for the next several hours.
Twilight found her way to Sugarcube Corner. She walked into the bakery to find her friends Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Applejack all sitting around a table with an empty chair waiting for her.
“Howdy Twi,” Applejack greeted, “come on over, we’ve saved ya a seat.” Twilight joined their pre-holiday brunch: A loaf of pumpkin bread with a side of sunflowers, a dish of apple pie, and plenty of pumpkin spiced cider to go around.
“Hi girls. Sorry I’m a little late,” Twilight apologized, “I was just getting back from checking on Fluttershy.” She began to make a sandwich out of the bread and flowers while pouring her a cup of cider. Rarity then asked the question that was on everypony’s mind.
“How is she?” There was a strong hint of concern in her voice.
“Well, let’s just say I’ve seen her doing better.” Said Twilight. “Is it common for her to act like this every year?”
“For as long as I’ve known her.” Rainbow Dash answered, while taking a bite of bread. “But give her till morning and she’ll be back to normal again like the night never happened.”
“But Nightmare Night is so much fun!” Pinkie Pie shouted. “It’s a night filled with candy, costumes, games, candy, music, dancing, scares, decorations, and most of all CANDY!!!!” The pink party pony started to hop up and down all over the room thinking excitedly of all the sweets she would be collecting that night. She then stopped in mid-air with an idea. “We should get Fluttershy to come out this year.”
“Uh, Pinkie, ah don’t think there is a very good chance of that happening.” Applejack said shaking her head.
“Hold on, that actually doesn’t sound like a bad idea.” Said Dash. “I mean don’t get me wrong, I love pulling pranks with my storm cloud; it’s the best night of the year for it. But I just feel a little guilty enjoying myself while I know for a fact that my friend is locking herself up at home scared out of her mind.”
“I feel somewhat saddened as well.” Rarity added in agreement. “I make at least half the costumes every single year, and Fluttershy never sees them. I would just love to see her in at least one of my many outfits for the occasion.”
“Yeah, last year was my first time ever celebrating Nightmare Night,” Twilight joined in, “but I just felt like something was missing when she wasn’t at the festival. It would be great if I could spend tonight with all my friends.”
“Now hold it gals,” Applejack interrupted, “Fluttershy doesn’t have to celebrate Nightmare Night if she doesn’t want to. There’s no law anywhere stating that everypony has to enjoy this holiday. If she wants to spend it in her cottage, that’s fine. We shouldn’t force her if she’s not ready.”
The room grew silent for a moment as they all thought about this. While Applejack did have a good point, the rest of the mares couldn’t find it in their hearts to ignore their friend who would be spending the whole night in misery.
“A.J. have you seen what this holiday does to her?” Rainbow asked. “She doesn’t sleep, she becomes completely paranoid, she doesn’t even care for her animals all day because she can’t stop worrying about getting scared.”
Rarity frowned. “I just hate seeing her like this year after year. She even cancelled our weekly spa appointment on Thursday because she didn’t want to see the place decorated.”
“Everypony deserves to have fun tonight Applejack.” Pinkie smiled. “If Fluttershy just comes out and remembers to giggle at the ghosties, she’ll see there is nothing to be scared of, guaranteed.”
“But she’ll be fine if we just leave her alone.” Applejack argued. “I don’t want to risk hurting her feelings with whatever is scary out there.”
“It wouldn’t hurt to at least ask her.” Twilight added. “Besides, wouldn’t you rather see her having a good time than be afraid of this night?”
Applejack just sighed, seeing there was no point in persuading everypony out of the idea. “Well, alright ah guess it’ll be worth a shot.”
“So it’s settled then!” Twilight announced standing. “Tonight, we help Fluttershy come out.”
“No! Please! This can’t be happening! Not again!” Fluttershy was panicking. Outside her window, she saw the moon of night rise into the sky. Nightmare Night has begun!
Her pupils dilated. Her heart started to beat very loud against her ribcage, and accelerated by the second. She felt her whole body begin to tremble like an earthquake. Breathing became a chore as she hyperventilated in terror. There wasn’t a single ounce of bravery left. Her worst nightmares were coming to life.
A knock came at the door. Fluttershy jumped and bolted to the entrance. She quickly locked up in three different places, and shouted, “GO AWAY!!! I DON’T HAVE ANY CANDY!!! NOPONY IS WELCOMED ON NIGHTMARE NIGHT!!!!”
A response came. “Fluttershy, its okay it’s just us. Can you please open the door? We just want to talk to you.” She recognized that it was Twilight outside.
“Twilight? What are you doing here? I told you this morning I didn’t want any pony coming... wait, ‘US’? Who else is with you?”
“Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Applejack. Don’t worry, Luna is not here this time.”
“What do you all want from me?”
“Come on ‘Shy, you’re not going to have a super fun Nightmare Night all by yourself!” She heard Pinkie Pie call. “We’re here to take you into town!” Fluttershy could feel her tongue swell like a balloon.
“Wh… wha… what do you mean ‘take me into town?’” She stuttered. “As in, get in a costume, go to Ponyville, be surrounded by monsters and get scared? I’m sorry but no deal!” She backed away from the door.
“You have no idea what you’re missing Fluttershy!” Said Rainbow Dash. “It’s going to be fun. It’s not as scary as you think it is.”
“Yes, it is Dash! There is nothing for me out there.”
“How do you know for sure?” asked Twilight.
“I just know! Please, I can’t come out. I hope I didn’t disappoint you or anything.”
She heard another voice make an attempt. “Sweetie, it’s me," Rarity's voice called. "I made this very lovely costume that I know you’ll just look stunning in. Won’t you like to try it on?”
“That sounds great. Tomorrow morning when it’s safe, I’ll go to your boutique for a fitting.”
“But I made it for tonight! There would be no point in wearing it tomorrow!”
“I’m sorry, but it’s not going to make me come out.”
The last voice she heard belonged to Applejack. “Alright, ah’ll do my best, but I don’t think it’ll work.” The sound of hooves approached the door.
“Oh no Applejack, not you too!” Fluttershy cried.
Applejack cleared her throat to speak. “Fluttershy, there’s nothing to be afraid of. We just want to help you—” she couldn’t take it anymore.
“LISTEN TO ME!” The scared pegasus screamed while pounding her hoof on the door. “Why won’t you understand? I don’t like this holiday! I don’t want to come out! I’m just so scared!” Her voice whimpered as she sank to the ground sobbing.
There was a moment of silence as the yellow mare cried in fear. Just when she thought they finally left, she heard Applejack once again. “Fluttershy?”
Fluttershy’s voice sounded hoarse. “Please just leave me alone.”
“Listen, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” Applejack said soothingly. “We’re not forcing ya. But if you come out here, nothing bad is going to happen. Ah promise.”
Fluttershy breathed heavily. “Applejack, I know you’re the element of honesty, but I don’t know if I can trust that.”
“Why not? You know I’m the worst liar ever. We would never let anything harm ya.”
“I just don’t want to be scared.”
“That’s exactly why we’re here, to help you. Open the door, and we’ll show you Nightmare Night is nothing to be afraid of.”
Fluttershy thought in silence. The last thing she wanted to do was go into town, but all her friends wanted to do was help her have fun, and be happy. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she asked them one more question. “You Pinkie Promise nothing bad will happen to me?”
“Pinkie promise!” Applejack returned. “What do ya say?”
Nopony can ever break a Pinkie Promise, so she must be right. Fluttershy pondered to herself. Maybe the night won’t be so bad if I’m with them. When she was finally feeling calm enough to regain self-control, she picked herself off the floor, un-latched the locks, and opened the door.
She saw her friends dressed in Nightmare Night garb: Twilight wearing a purple and gold wizard’s robe and hat; Pinkie Pie in a large pink cupcake costume; Rainbow Dash dressed as Daring Do, the title character from her favorite book series; Rarity sporting a black witch costume covered in rubies, and Applejack as a scarecrow.
Fluttershy struggled to speak to them. So she simply nodded her head. Her friends took this as a yes.
“You will?” Pinkie Pie asked excitedly.
“I will.”
“Fluttershy that’s wonderful!” Twilight exclaimed.
“This is going to be so awesome!” Rainbow squealed.
“Hold on just a moment!” Said Rarity. “There is no way you are going into town looking like that.” She pointed to Fluttershy’s still messy mane. “Come, I’ll have you washed up in a jiffy.”
The fashionista escorted the caretaker back into her dark cottage for her bathroom. Magically but quickly, she washed the pink mane so it was back to Fluttershy’s natural style. Once the treatment was complete, Rarity levitated a very breathtaking costume out of her bag.
A simple silk green dress floated in the silver-blue unicorn magic. A variety of brightly colored leaves were stitched to the fabric. A tiara made from twisted twigs, flowers and plastic butterflies completed the ensemble. It didn’t take Fluttershy long to figure out the costume: Mother Nature.
She was amazed with the design and suddenly wanted nothing more than to wear it. “For me?”
Rarity gave a smile. “Worked on it all afternoon. It’s very simple yet beautiful and unique. I think it fits you perfectly.” The unicorn magically slipped the costume over her friend. When Fluttershy saw a truly beautiful pegasus looking back at her in the mirror, A smile started to gradually break on her face. It was the first time she smiled all day.
“Rarity, I love it!” Fluttershy gleamed in appreciation. “Thank you so much.”
Rarity nodded. “Anything for you. Now we mustn’t keep everypony waiting, or else we’ll be late.” On that note the two headed out the door and joined everyone outside.
“Okay, I… I’m ready.” Said Fluttershy.
“Oh boy, now we’re all finally here together!” Pinkie shouted. “Now come on, no more lollygagging. Time is candy! To Ponyville!”
Fluttershy walked into Ponyville. The town she knew for being so bright and colorful took a new canvas for Nightmare Night. She saw cobwebs artfully decorating all the streetlights and buildings. Jack-o-Lanterns sat on the windowsills of every home. The streets were illuminated by a string of light up skulls and bats. They connected to a great number of booths containing games and food. She could hear a large pipe organ coming from the stage. The instrument played a haunting tune that could freeze the bones.
It was this sound that made Fluttershy stop in her tracks. Her wings snapped shut like mousetraps. Her heart now felt like it was on fire. She started to breath in gasps. Her own body was fighting against her as she tried desperately to not have another panic attack.
Her friends glanced at her, looking like they wanted to ask if she was alright. Fluttershy responded to this by masking her fear with a nervous laugh and fake smile.
Twilight’s assistant Spike approached the group wearing the same purple dragon costume he wore a year ago. “There you are Twilight,” he said, “where have you been I’ve been looking all over for—” Spike suddenly noticed Fluttershy outside her cottage. “Fluttershy is that you?”
Fluttershy felt her tension start to lower upon seeing a familiar friendly face. “Oh, hi Spike. That’s a very cute costume. It’s so you.”
“Thanks, you look great yourself.” Spike turned back to his unicorn companion. “See, this is what ponies say when you go as something recognizable.”
“I am recognizable!” Twilight sounded insulted. “I told you a thousand times; I’m Lady Star Swirl the Bearded. The wife of Star Swirl the Bearded, who accomplished just as much—if not more—in her lifetime as her spouse.”
While Twilight went off on her rant, Fluttershy got a much better look around the town. What she saw completely threw her off guard. The costumes weren’t as scary as she thought they would be. In fact, a lot of them were dressed as animals. She even saw the famous Cutie Mark Crusaders in their getup: Apple Bloom as a wolf, Sweetie Bell as a black cat, and Scootaloo as a chicken—how fitting. Her rapidly beating heart was beginning to ease.
“Come on y’all,” said Applejack. “Mayor Mare is about to speak to commence the celebration.”
They huddled together near the center of the dance floor. The clustering crowd of ponies closed them in. The mayor came out approaching the podium. She was decked out in her clown costume complete with a poofy rainbow wig.
“Welcome everypony welcome!” She regally announced. “The time has come, for the 50th annual Ponyville Nightmare Night celebration. Now prepare to be filled with fright as I direct my attention to… Nightmare… Moon!” The mayor added a ghostly vibrato on the final word.
A large cloud of black smoke dived onto the stage, and vanished to reveal a tall, dark, hooded figure. Princess Luna whipped back her head to show her face. Her cloak vanished into a flock of bats and flew away. The crowd cheered, all except for Fluttershy. She ducked to the ground and covered her head with her hooves to try and not get noticed.
“Citizens of Ponyville!” Luna shouted. “Another year has come! Thou have all made the gracious decision to come out and worship me on this most glorious night! to thank thee for thy loyalty, not one pony shall leave the festival un-scared! Before the night is out, I will individually scare each and every one of thee until all ponies have faced the glory that is Nightmare Night! So go enjoy the night and prepare for fright!" She gave a faux evil laugh and vanished under a puff of blue and black smoke. Everypony stomped their hooves, in excitement.
“And so,” the mayor continued, “the stations are set, the houses are now open for Trick-or-Treaters, and Nightmare Night begins!” The crowd gave a final applause and began dispersing to the many activities that awaited them. Fluttershy remained cowering on the ground.
“You okay ‘Shy?” Rainbow asked.
“Um… actually, I’m really nervous about—” Fluttershy almost jumped at the sound of a pony screaming, “—that.” She pointed towards the apple bobbing station. Luna has found her first victim. Bon-Bon was sitting on the ground recovering from shock. The princess stood soaking wet in the tub.
“Don’t worry,” Twilight said reassuringly, “I’ll just talk to Luna when I get the chance and tell her you want to be excluded from getting scared.”
“Oh, thank you Twilight. Please get to her soon.”
“Relax, she always has time for me.”
Pinkie wrapped her arm around Fluttershy. “In the meantime, you and I have a date with candy. It’s time for Trick-or-Treating!”
“T-Trick-or-Treating?” Fluttershy asked anxiously. “Aren’t we a little old for that?”
“Too old for free candy?” Pinkie gasped. “Never! You deserve it more than anypony else. We want this Night to be extra special for you.”
Twilight noticed Rainbow Dash getting onto a storm cloud. “Rainbow, I thought you learned your lesson last year.”
“This year it’s only going to those who deserve it.” Rainbow said pointing to a group of teenage ponies. They saw the young stallions pushing around a small foal in a pumpkin costume.
Dash zoomed over to the scene. Raising her hooves in the air, she pounced the cloud. A loud clap of thunder and lightning erupted on her command. The bullies jumped and fled screaming in terror. The foal cheered in gratitude for his savior. Rainbow returned laughing.
“Well, at least you’re making it somewhat useful.” Said Applejack.
“Hey, it’s all in good fun.” Rainbow shrugged. “I just can’t give it up.”
“We’ll catch up with you all later,” Pinkie said stepping away with Fluttershy, “the candy is calling our names!” After leaving everyone behind, the pink pony brought her rigid friend over to the Cutie Mark Crusaders and a young colt dressed as a pirate captain.
“Ahoy, mates!” He exclaimed. He took out his plastic sword and began swishing it around. “Captain Pipsqueak is ready to set sail!”
“Hi Pip! Great costume! It looks even better than last year!” Pinkie complimented.
“Thanks! Its certainly a step up from last year when I was just first mate.”
The crusaders just noticed Fluttershy standing close to Pinkie like a Siamese twin. Sweetie Bell’s eyes began to widen. “Fluttershy! You came out this year!”
Fluttershy gave them a small grin. “Hi girls. You all look so adorable dressed as animals.”
“Thanks.” Scootaloo said very flatly.
The caretaker chuckled lightly. “Scootaloo, you look just like Elizabeak.”
“I wanted to go as Rainbow Dash, but I lost a bet.” She replied gesturing towards Apple Bloom.
“Well ah told you we wouldn’t get our cutie marks in bungee jumping, but you wouldn’t listen.” The small yellow filly gloated.
“Well we didn’t get them in tree planting either.” The orange pegasus argued back.
“I didn’t make it a challenge.” Apple Bloom pointed out.
“Girls,” Pinkie interrupted, “why are we arguing when there’s all that candy out there waiting for us? Let’s go!”
The three fillies shouted into the air, “Cutie Mark Crusaders Trick-or-Treaters Are Go!” The children and their older companions went off on their candy hunt.
They approached their first house. Giggling with excitement, they ran up to the door to receive their first sweets of the night. However, Pinkie Pie noticed Fluttershy was standing a good distance away from the house. She was obviously hesitant to go any closer.
“Come on, you can’t get the candy from all the way over there silly!” Pinkie called over. Fluttershy still didn’t move. The party pony hopped over. “There’s nothing scary about candy. Don’t you want to have all the sugary goodness you can eat?”
Fluttershy’s voice grew very quiet. “Pinkie, I’m not so sure about this. It’s called ‘Trick-or-Treating’; what if I get tricked?”
“Don’t worry,” Pinkie said, “about 99.99% of the time it is always a ‘Treat’! Just follow our lead.”
Together, they walked to the door of the house and rang the bell. Cheerilee answered, to be greeted with the chant: "Nightmare Night! What a fright! Give us something sweet to bite!"
“Oh what adorable costumes,” Cheerilee smiled, “you all deserve some special treats for tonight.” She took out a candy dish and placed individual pieces of chocolate, gummies, and lollipops into the bags. Right when she was about to turn away, the school teacher noticed Fluttershy hiding behind Pinkie. “And anything for you?”
Fluttershy glanced at the ground. “Oh… um… if that’s alright with you.” She answered nervously. “I’m sorry, this is my first time.”
“It’s perfectly alright Fluttershy. In fact, since this is your first time, I think you deserve some extra sweets.” Cheerilee dropped two pieces of licorice into her sac.
“Oh, thank you, but you don’t have to give me extra. Don’t you want enough for everypony else?”
“Don’t worry, I have plenty of candy to go around. Have a wonderful Nightmare Night kids.” She waved them goodbye and shut the door.
“See how easy that was?” Pinkie Pie asked Fluttershy. “Nothing scary, only candy!”
Fluttershy thought about this. It really wasn’t scary at all. She just got candy by going to somepony’s house, and there was so much more out there. Since it didn’t involve getting scared, she was still willing to give the ritual a try.
“Well Pinkie, I guess it’s not so bad,” she replied, “I think I can try a few more houses.”
“Well then what are we waiting for? Let’s go!” As they trotted over to their next home, Fluttershy could hear the band beginning to play in the distance. This time, the music was a small string ensemble being lead by Octavia. They played to a very jovial melody as the festival brightened with enjoyment.
Each house was different. Some gave away candy. Some did pretzels. Others even had cupcakes (Pinkie was extra thrilled for these stops). As she watched her bag fill with sweets after each house, Fluttershy noticed a change in her since the night began. Her heart was now slow and steady. The tension in her muscles were gone. She wasn’t even shaking anymore. Could it be that she was enjoying herself? She didn’t want to admit it.
By the time they reached their last house the bags were full. The Cutie Mark Crusaders took a look at their flanks. Their hopeful faces declined in disappointment to see they were still bare.
“Looks like Trick-or-Treating isn’t our special talent.” Apple Bloom frowned.
“Aw I was looking forward to having a picture of candy corn on my flank.” Sweetie Bell complained.
“Come on, don’t let that ruin your Nightmare Night!” Pinkie said cheeringly. “Look at all our delicious candy! We hit the jackpot tonight!” They all became mesmerized as they saw their own individual clusters of sweets.
Pipsqueak noticed Fluttershy unconsciously licking her lips. “How about you try one,” he suggested to her, “it always tastes the best when it’s on Nightmare Night.”
Fluttershy dug her hoof into the sac. She pulled out an individual malted milk ball, and popped it in her mouth. Her taste buds felt like fire works. The overwhelming sensation of sugar melted on her tongue. She slowly chewed the treat and savored every ounce of goodness it had to offer. Who knew the taste of candy you’ve earned could taste so much sweeter than usual?
“It’s delicious,” said Fluttershy, “but I don’t think I’ll be able to eat all of this.”
“Don’t worry, you won’t have to.” Pinkie said happily. “There is still the offering for—” she was cut off by a distant scream.
They all turned towards the sound and saw Snip and Snails running away from Luna. She trailed their path, in a chilling laughter.
“Nightmare Moon! Run away!” Pinkie shouted playfully. They all ran off with her screaming. Fluttershy however, was the only one that was truly filled with fright. She tried to run as fast she could while steering her way around on coming ponies. She turned her head back to see if the princess was still following when suddenly, she collided into another pony and fell to the ground.
“What in tarnation?” Fluttershy heard Applejack rise and dust herself up. Her hoof was extended to the pegasus to assist her off the ground. Pinkie Pie and the children caught up to the scene.
“Oh… there… you are,” the pink pony panted, “I never knew you could run that fast. I think you can outrun Rainbow Dash!”
“What in Equestria where y’all running from?” Applejack asked.
“Nightmare Moon! She’s even scarier than last year!” Pinkie giggled.
Applejack gave her a stern look. Pinkie Pie immediately remembered that the idea was to not let Fluttershy get scared. “Oopsie, I guess I got carried away.” She shrugged.
Fluttershy’s voice shook. “Oh, I hope Twilight got to her.”
“Don’t worry sugar cube,” Applejack said, “at least now you can try the games.”
“G-games? Is that a scare free zone?”
“Sure is.”
“Okay, I guess I can give it a try.”
“Okie Dokie Lokie!” Said Pinkie. “We’re going to go try some pumpkin cupcakes, have fun!” The party pony went off with the children to the pastry stand being run by the Cake family. Applejack lead Fluttershy over to the first game.
Fluttershy noticed a bowl of beanbags that sat on the table. “Are those supposed to be spiders?”
“Well yeah,” Applejack answered, “this is Spider-Tossing.”
“They’re so… cute.” Fluttershy picked out one of the toys and examined the design. It's furry body tickled her hoof. “And it looks so realistic; they're like the family of spiders that live in my crawl space. So, what do I do here?”
“Simple, take the spider and toss it onto the web.” Applejack pointed to the spider web stationed about twenty feet from where they stood. “If you hit the target, you win.”
Fluttershy glanced up and saw a small ensemble of eyes locked onto her. “A-Applejack, there are ponies watching me. I don’t think I can do it.”
“It’s just a game.” Applejack said softly. “Nopony is gonna laugh at ya. You can do it!” She patted her on the back. Taking a deep breath, Fluttershy gave a small under hand throw. The spider landed only one foot from its starting point.
“Oh, I guess I’m not very good at this.” She said disappointedly.
“Come on Fluttershy you can do it! You’re my number one flyer, I know you can!” She saw Rainbow Dash cheering in the crowd. The athlete began encouraging others to do the same. Then eventually, everypony was cheering for her. Seeing one of her closest friends remind her she’s number one gave her a new determination. She took another spider out of the bowl.
“Okay, one more try.” Fluttershy said to herself. Focusing both eyes on the target, she aimed the beanbag, and threw as hard as she could. It soared through the wind and dived back down, landing on the bottom of the web.
“It’s a hit! We have a winner!” Applejack declared.
Everypony stomped their hooves in approval. Fluttershy could feel a thousand butterflies in her stomach. “Wow, that was actually very enjoyable.” She confessed with a smile.
“Great job Fluttershy,” Applejack congratulated, “ready to try pumpkin launching?”
“Pumpkin launching?” Fluttershy repeated in confusion. “I thought pumpkins are for eating.”
Applejack chuckled. “Not tonight.” The farmer started to escort the Pegasus over to the launchers without protest. As they trotted over to the launching game, Fluttershy could hear the band beginning to play an upbeat jazz.
An army of catapults faced a line of targets fifty feet away. A large crate of pumpkins sat to the side, waiting to get splattered.
“Alright, now all you do here is take one of the pumpkins, set it on the launcher and try to hit the target.” Applejack explained. Fluttershy felt a little nervous at first. This looked more challenging than the spiders.
Then once again she heard Dash. “Yeah, that’s my girl Fluttershy! Number one flyer, spider-tosser, and soon to be pumpkin launcher!”
She could feel her confidence increase by knowing that the element of loyalty was her cheerleader. Once the gourd was in the saucer of the catapult, Fluttershy used every ounce of strength in her arms to set the shot. All grew silent. She could hear the wind blowing in her ear, as she steadily focused her aim. Upon release of the pumpkin, the momentum of the launch knocked her onto her back.
The next thing she heard was a very loud distant SPLAT. The crowd applauded once more. Fluttershy sat up to see that the pumpkin was a direct hit right in the center. She could feel a spark of excitement ignite in her veins.
“That was amazing!” She exclaimed getting up. Fluttershy didn’t even realize how excited she was getting when she asked Applejack, “What’s next?”
Applejack could sense the eagerness in her voice and gave a smile. “Next up is last, but definitely not least, apple bobbing!”
Once they made their way to the apple bobbing station, Rainbow Dash caught up with the two in a competitive mood. “I love this game so much, I can always taste the cider in the apples! Hey Fluttershy, how about we bob one on one together.”
“Oh, I don’t think I stand a chance against you Rainbow.” Fluttershy answered. “I Know how much you love to win.”
“Hey we’re friends, it’s all in good fun, right?”
“Okay, let’s do it!”
“Awesome! Applejack, you wanna be our referee?”
“Sure, I always love officiating a good competition every now and then.” Applejack accepted.
The two mares took their positions on opposite ends of the tub filled with green tinted water and red floating apples. Once again the crowd gathered to watch the contest.
Applejack raised her voice. “Alright, now the first pony to nab an apple is the winner. On your mark… get set… go!”
On that signal, they plunged their faces into the ice-cold water. Rapidly biting around for her target, Fluttershy realized the game was much harder than it looked. Every apple she tried to nab rubbed against her teeth and floated away, but she didn’t give up. After what felt like an exercise, she finally bit down to feel a stem flicker on her tongue. She lifted her head from the pool in victory. Rainbow emerged just one second later, gasping for breath.
“The winner… is… Fluttershy!” Applejack announced. The crowd cheered with glee.
“Great job, who knew there was so much competition in you.” Rainbow said holding out her hoof. They shared a congratulatory shake.
They caught up with Rarity, Pinkie Pie and Spike all gathered at a picnic table. They feasted on a wide variety of candy, cupcakes, and candy apples.
“So tell me Fluttershy, Are you enjoying Nightmare Night?” Applejack asked.
“Well, the evening has been… nice.” Fluttershy simply put it. “I’m at least trying to make the best of it without Nightmare Moon scaring me.” She jumped at the sound of a scream right on que. The mayor came running in terror down the street. The caretaker began to twitch at the thought.
Spike glanced at her. “You’ll be fine, I’m sure Twilight found her by now.”
“You shouldn’t worry so much,” said Pinkie, “I’m sure Luna knows that you shouldn’t scare somepony if it would hurt their feelings. Besides, it was worth coming out for all this yummy candy, right?”
“Yes, I saw you were enjoying the Trick-or-Treating.” Rarity grinned. “I even heard a lot of ponies talking about your costume and how great you looked. Of course I had the pleasure of telling them it was my creation.”
Fluttershy blushed. “Oh, have I really been getting that much attention?”
“Well of course, wouldn’t you agree you look lovely?”
“Um… I mean… yes. And I did enjoy Trick-or-Treating, it was surprisingly fun.”
“That’s not the only thing she enjoyed, you missed her master the games!” Said Rainbow.
“Come on Dash I wasn’t that good.”
“Don’t be modest Fluttershy, I’ve never seen too many rookies beat me in bobbing for apples.”
Pinkie started to bounce once again. “And don’t forget, we still have the offering!”
“That’s right! Come with me and soon, you will hear the tale of Nightmare Moon.” They heard an exotic accent rhyme from behind them.
Fluttershy turned around to see a zebra dressed in a black witch costume. “Hello Zecora.” She greeted her.
“Fluttershy? You came out on Nightmare Night! But I thought this holiday gave you fright.”
“It did, but my friends convinced me to come out this year.”
“And she’s been having a blast! Nothing but fun!” Pinkie said cutting in.
“That is just wonderful my dear. I’m glad to see you face your fear.” Zecora complimented. “Now follow me, the offering has come. The princess enjoys treats, so bring some.” She gestured to the bags of candy on the table. Pinkie and Fluttershy grabbed their sacs and followed the zebra for the Everfree Forest.
“Ah have to admit,” Applejack began, “ah was wrong about leaving Fluttershy alone. She’s really enjoying herself.”
“I know just look at her, it’s like she’s a completely different pony.” Rainbow said. “At the beginning of the night she wouldn’t even leave her cottage, but now she’s just so relaxed and having a good time. I have a feeling she’ll thank us.”
“It’s so wonderful to see her happy again,” Rarity joined in, “her costume is probably one of my finest works yet.”
Twilight came sprinting frantically up to the table. She huffed and puffed while trying to catch her breath. “Where… is… Fluttershy?”
“She just went off to the offering with Zecora and Pinkie.” Said Spike.
Twilight looked out into the woods apprehensively. “Oh-no. Not good!”
“Twilight what’s wrong?” Applejack asked.
***Five Minutes Earlier***
Twilight finally found Luna. As the princess watched the mayor jump and run off screaming playfully, the librarian naturally went up to greet her. “Hello Luna.”
The princess of the night addressed her old friend with a smile. “Twilight Sparkle, lovely to see thee out and about on this glorious Nightmare Night. Art thou enjoying thy evening?”
“Yes, very much. My friends are to.” She suddenly remembered Fluttershy and the promise she made her to warn the princess. “Hey Luna, can I ask something of you?”
“Of course, what is it you need?”
“Well, you remember my friend Fluttershy, right?”
“Ah yes, dear Fluttershy, sweetest of speakers. I am very grateful for her generous voice lessons. Though she was in quite an odd mood last Nightmare Night, wasn’t she?”
“We’ll yeah. She came out to celebrate tonight for the first time in a while, and—”
Luna suddenly became very excited. “Is that so? Of course, I’ve noticed her in the audience before and collecting candy for the offering with the children. In fact, she is next on my list!”
“But Princess, she doesn’t like getting scared. So I was just wondering if you could just leave her alone?” Twilight asked sounding hopeful.
“Doesn’t like getting scared?” Luna repeated. “Who doesn’t enjoy the glory of spooks on Nightmare Night? Since this is her first time coming out in who knows how long, she deserves the best scare there is!”
Twilight’s eyes began to bulge. “No, you don’t understand, she has a fear of Nightmare Night. We’re trying to show her there is nothing to be afraid of. Please don’t scare her.”
“Twilight I believe thou art speaking nonsense.” Luna said skeptically. “This is a night of scares. Besides I won’t really be harming her.”
“But she doesn’t understand that—”
“Then I will show her. Thou shalt see Twilight Sparkle, your friend will enjoy a scare in the spirit of Nightmare Night!” Luna began to vanish under her cloud of smoke.
“No! Wait! Stop! Luna!” Twilight called out, but it was too late.
***
“She’s still going to scare Fluttershy?” Rainbow asked in shock.
“Oh no, poor dear.” Rarity said softly. “She was having such a delightful time, but now it’s all going to be ruined.”
“Come on girls, hopefully there’s still time.” Applejack said with determination. “We have to find her before it’s too late!”
“So children, leave your candy here, and we’ll be safe another year.” Zecora instructed the night’s Trick-or-Treaters to drop some of their earnings at the statue of Nightmare Moon. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy both contributed as they emptied half their bags. Once all the sacrifices had been made, a strong wind started to blow through the foliage. A cyclone formed around the statue. Suddenly, the stone figure turned into Luna herself.
“CHILDREN!” She boomed. “Thou have all satisfied me once more with thy offerings! But now, I must give a treat to one special pony! She directed her attention towards Fluttershy who was nervously trying to leave the crowd. “Come to me Fluttershy.” Luna ordered her.
Shaking like a leaf, Fluttershy slowly and hesitantly approached Luna. I hope Twilight got to her. Eventually, she was gazing at the princess face-to-face.
“Now turn around and shut thy eyes.” Luna instructed. Fluttershy did as she was told. Suddenly a very uncomfortable feeling punched her in the stomach. The air went cold as a shiver spread to all her bones. “Now open them.” The princess said. The caretaker's lids slowly separated at the sight in front of her.
A giant shadow figure with glowing red eyes was towering over her head. Slowly it began to lean in closer and closer, inch-by-inch. Fluttershy darted her eyes to and fro to see two ghosts cackling as they boxed her in. Luna laughed maniacally. The mare's blood turned to ice. Her whole body became petrified. She felt her heart suddenly stop beating. There was no way she could resist panicking now.
She saw Pinkie Pie desperately fighting against a blue force field. She shouted, “RUN FLUTTERSHY! RUN!!!"
On instinct, Fluttershy let out an ear-piercing scream and took off. She ran through the shadow and into the labyrinth of trees. All she could think of doing was running. Running and hiding!
The branches and pines continued to whip and slash at her face. Right from out of the blue, Fluttershy charged through a large sticky spider web that connected like a hammock between two towering trees. The fabric wrapped around her face and blocked her vision. She began to spiral in blindness and lost her footing as she tumbled down a hill. She felt the branches of a bush break her fall at the bottom.
Fluttershy huddled into a little trembling ball under the hedge. She was seriously considering making this her hiding place until morning. “So much for enjoying tonight.” She whispered to herself. “I just knew from the moment they came to my door, this was going to be a bad idea. Why couldn’t I just keep saying ‘No’? They would have left eventually.”
She heard the sound of heavy hooves sinking into the soil close by. “I know you’re here Fluttershy.” Luna's voice called out. “Come out, come out wherever you are.”
Suddenly, Fluttershy felt eight tiny, hairy legs crawl on her cheek. Becoming startled, she jumped into the air like a champagne cork shouting, “Spider!” Luna let out a scream of fright and ran for cover. The pegasus frantically tried to tear the cobwebs off. Once she was finally web free, the young pony saw the princess trying to catch her breath under a tree root.
Fluttershy could sense fear rising out of the royal Alicorn. Feeling like she was the one to blame, she unknowingly approached her. “Princess Luna?” She asked. “I’ve scared you, haven’t I? I’m so sorry, I just hope I didn’t harm the poor little spider.”
“What does thou have to be sorry for?” Luna chuckled. She raised her head to reveal a smile. “Fluttershy my dear, thou have succeeded in scaring me. I never thought anypony would be successful in scaring me on Nightmare Night, but your plan was just so well executed.”
“No, I didn’t plan anything,” Fluttershy began pleading, “it was all completely an accident. Oh, scaring ponies is just terrible. I can’t imagine causing so much fear for enjoyment.”
Luna’s eyes began to widen. “Twilight Sparkle was right. You really don’t like scares, don’t you?” She got out from under the root and placed her hoof on Fluttershy’s shoulder. “My many apologies. Had I realized your friend was not joking, I never would have tried to scare thee.”
Fluttershy looked up at Luna and saw the same apologetic face that she was wearing after being defeated by the elements of harmony. Their was a hint of sweetness swimming in the eyes of the princess.
“Luna,” Fluttershy began, “you’re really not as scary tonight as I thought you would be. You know, just a few hours ago, I was too afraid to set one hoof outside my cottage. But my friends came along and Pinkie Promised me that nothing bad would happen if I came out.”
Fluttershy was starting to look back on her night, and remembered how much fun she was having. Now, she finally discovered that Luna has a soft side for scaring ponies, and that she even gets scared herself. Then, the epiphany came: Nightmare Night is not scary at all. She came closer to the princess like she was hypnotized. A voice that was a half step above her natural speaking tone escaped her lips.
“And I never would have had such an wonderful night all alone in my cottage.” Fluttershy wrapped her arms around Luna in a warm tight hug. The largest smile she gave all night spread out from ear to ear. The princess returned the gesture with a light kiss on the forehead.
Twilight’s voice came suddenly from above. “Fluttershy! You’re okay!” They looked and saw the unicorn accompanied by Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Spike at the top of the hill.
“Of course I am,” said Fluttershy, “why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well we just ran all over the forest trying to find you so you wouldn’t get scared.” Applejack called.
“She did not need saving,” Luna replied, “Fluttershy here is the true master of scares of Nightmare Night. Why she even had the nerve to scare me.” Once they met the two at the bottom, the friends all stopped in their tracks looking confused.
“You scared her?” Spike asked Fluttershy.
“That’s pretty funny princess!” Pinkie Pie laughed. “Sweet little Fluttershy scared Nightmare Moon on Nightmare Night! I can’t even imagine it!”
“But it’s true.” Said Luna. “I came down here looking for her soul, when suddenly she jumped out of nowhere from behind. She was wearing a spider’s web and let out a shriek deafening the ears. I’ve never been so startled in all my life. I felt all the breath betray my lungs. Isn’t that right dear Fluttershy?”
She thought for a moment. While it was not an intended scare, Luna was kind of telling the truth. Fluttershy did scare the princess. So just for tonight she thought to just play along. Besides, she could always just tell them the truth later. “Yes, It’s all true.” She finally replied.
Twilight shook her head. “I don’t believe it Fluttershy. You really came out of your shell tonight.”
“Wow, first you become competitive at the games, now you’re scaring princesses?” Rainbow asked in disbelief. “Who knew you had it in ya?”
“I had no idea you could pull off such a joke.” Rarity added.
“Yes, she did quite well for a first timer.” Said Luna. “However, this must not reach the ears of our fellow villagers. I must keep my reputation of causing scares on Nightmare Night. So we shall all keep this our little secret. Agreed?”
“Agreed!” Everypony answered.
“Grand. Now shall we head back to town? I believe our friend here has one last thing to try this evening.”
“What is that princess?” Fluttershy asked.
“Why the traditional Nightmare Night dance of course!” Pinkie answered in sudden realization. “How can I forget that every Nightmare Night ends with a party?”
“Oh, I’m not much of a dancer Pinkie.”
“Neither am I!” Twilight chuckled. “But tonight would be a great night to learn. So how about we dance together?”
“Sounds like a plan.” Fluttershy accepted.
The dance floor was crowded. Everypony was in full swing. DJ Vinyl Scratch replaced the band that had played earlier that evening. She brought out her best selections for the party. Nopony wanted to stay in their seats. Fluttershy and Twilight were both scrunched together in the center of the floor, trying to agree on a certain rhythm to move their hooves to.
“Twilight, um… if you don’t mind, maybe it will help if you stopped reading.” Fluttershy suggested. Twilight had the book ‘Dancing for eggheads’ levitating in front of her face as she awkwardly moved her hooves around.
“Hold on, hold on! This section on the tango is pretty interesting.”
“But I think this might be rock.”
Twilight flushed in embarrassment. “Oh, no wonder the steps here won’t make sense. Okay then what do you suggest we do?” Fluttershy couldn’t think of anything. As she listened to the music, her head started to simply nod to the beat. Then her hooves began tapping. Soon her hips were swaying perfectly to the music.
“Actually, I think we should just let it find us.” Fluttershy closed her eyes and released all her ambitions. Her body surrendered to the rhythm. She danced like nopony was even watching.
Her friend simply gazed at her in astonishment. Fluttershy was dancing to moves Twilight had never seen her do before. I never knew you could dance! We need to take you out more often. Soon a group of ponies were also watching and cheering her on. Twilight smiled with an idea. Time to really make you shine!
With a flick of Twilight’s horn a bright magenta light surrounded Fluttershy as she began to levitate. The crowd soon took notice of this.
“Wow, look at that amazing Pegasus!” A young stallion called out.
“Look at her dance, she’s incredible!” Lyra Heartstrings cheered.
Twilight allowed her to move freely to further impress the crowd. Soon the whole dance floor was looking up at her, and rooting for her. Once the song ended, Fluttershy opened her eyes to see where she was. She blushed as she was applauded for her skills. The unicorn lowered her back to the ground.
“Am I really that good of a dancer?” Fluttershy asked.
“You were so great it was like you were walking on air.” The two let out a joyful laugh.
Reuniting back at the picnic table with her friends, Fluttershy decided to tell them the truth about what really happened between her and Luna in the woods.
“So wait, you’re saying you scared Luna by accident?” Rainbow asked.
“Yeah, I just hope the spider was okay.” Fluttershy said. She took a bite out of a chocolate bar.
Pinkie Pie unraveled her tongue and devoured a whole bunch of candy apples in one bite. “But still, it must have been fun for her to get scared!” She said with her mouth stuffed.
“Oh it was for her, but I didn’t enjoy scaring her at all.”
“It doesn’t surprise me it actually went down like that.” Applejack commented.
“But at least, that web was able to come off so cleanly.” Said Rarity. “I can’t imagine how it looked over your lovely face.”
“I still can’t believe you, of all ponies, actually scared her.” Twilight said.
“Fluttershy! Is it true?” The Cutie Mark Crusaders came running excitedly up to the mare.
“Is what true girls?” She asked.
Scootaloo’s face brightened in fascination. “That you scared Nightmare Moon?”
“In the Everfree forest?” Apple Bloom exclaimed.
Sweetie Bell sprang up to Fluttershy’s eye level. “Can we now call you the ‘Scare Master’?”
The mare looked around the table. Rainbow Dash was hiding her face in embarrassment.
“Sorry ‘Shy, I just couldn’t resist.” She admitted. “Besides, you kind of deserve some fame for enjoying tonight. Right?”
Fluttershy was at a loss for words. Was this what she was afraid of for such a long time? Having fun? She couldn’t believe it. There was a great excitement building in her nerves as she tried to describe her evening. “We’ll I guess tonight has been… somewhat pleasant… nice…” There was no denying anymore.
“Oh what am I kidding? It was wonderful!” Fluttershy confessed. “Look at me, I’m Mother Nature! I always thought of myself as a true animal caregiver, but tonight I actually got to show it. All the costumes were so colorful, unique and adorable. Collecting all the sweet candy during Trick-or-Treating was just a delight! The games were so much fun, and the music is so lively and beautiful. I can’t believe I’m saying this but… I love Nightmare Night!”
Her friends sat and looked at her in silence. They gave about a minute to allow all the new information to process. Pinkie Pie was the first to speak. “I knew it Fluttershy! Nopony could ever not have fun on Nightmare Night!”
“And I have all you girls to thank. I never would have had such a wonderful night if it weren’t for you all coming to my cottage. Spike, can you please take a note?”
“Of course.” The baby dragon pulled out a blank scroll and quill and started to copy down Fluttershy’s report, word for word.
Dear Princess Celestia,
We all have our fears, but there are just some that we cannot avoid. Tonight, I learned that with the help of your friends, you might discover that some fears are not as scary as they may seem. So if you just put your trust in the friends who are true to you, and let them be your guide, you might just discover something wonderful.
Yours truly, Fluttershy.
P.S. Happy Nightmare Night.
The End
Special thanks to Inky Swirl, for proof-reading and offering constructive criticism.
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Oof--She really gets scared of Nightmare Night, huh?
Anxiety vomit's serious.
I like the concept, I do, and I like your passion; this was written with the urgency and seriousness of someone who legitimately wants to write about this and leave an impact. I've gotta say, however, it can use a little work.
Thankfully, I'm here!
Personal PM soon to follow--please, take a look.
Awww That was a sweat story. This so would've been made an episode. [sigh] but alas such potential for an episode will missed. This a good fic for Halloween/Nightmare Night.
Oh boy.
Shame this is not getting more views, try submitting it to Equestria Daily.
1488231
I actually submitted this to EQD last night, I'm currently awaiting results. Glad to hear you enjoyed the story.
Excellent! It's not possible to fail to enjoy a story in which Fluttershy conquers something difficult and ends up having a great time. There were still a few inevitable issues, particularly with Luna's archaic dialog, but over all this was a lot of fun.
It looked for a while like Twilight was going to spend the holiday with "all" her friends and neglect Spike, making this yet another equine-exclusive story, but luckily you are not as biased or inattentive as some other authors.
Looks like Pinkie Pie forgot him, though.
What a wonderful story. I can definitely relate to Fluttershy.
Being legally blind, sudden loud noises scare me. As a kid I had a phobia of fireworks. So around July 4th and New Years Eve I would have panic attacks. Not fun at all. I have gotten over it (although I still get nervous).
I could totally relate. Well done.
2216084
Glad to hear that you enjoyed it. I remember back in the summer when I got the idea for the story, I started out by doing a lot of research on the fear of Halloween, to develop a better understanding of how things would look from Fluttershy's perspective during Nightmare Night. What I found out about those with samhainophobia, fueled me even more to write. If you watch Fluttershy's scene from "Luna Eclipsed", you can tell she simply did not dislike Nightmare Night, but was beyond terrified of the day. You'll notice that she carries a lot of symptoms for the phobia: Her house was pitch black; she yelled at anyone who knocked at her door to leave; Twilight had to drag her out of the house, by magic as a last resort, in order to help Luna; she abandoned all kindness and politeness to try and run back into her house; she almost fainted out of fear when Luna hugged her in appreciation.
The scene was funny due to the situation and context (I still laugh at it and I really enjoyed the episode overall), but at the same time I really felt sorry for Fluttershy. Since Halloween is my favorite time of year, I think it's extremely unfortunate for someone to have a phobia of a day that's suppose to be fun. If they ever do another Nightmare Night episode, I think this would make a great concept for the plot. It's also great to hear that you could relate to it. I guess as a writer, that means I made a pretty big accomplishment.
That was a fun story.
3197690
Would you mind telling me specifically why you enjoyed it? Not trying to sound hard, but just wandering what I did well. Then again, this story was written almost a year ago, so I could of completely improved overall at this point.
3239026
There are several reasons why I enjoyed it.
- Fluttershy getting over her fears = always cute.
- The choice of costume for Fluttershy was a nice touch.
- Fluttershy's friends banding together to help her out (in more than one sense of that phrase) was perfect, right in line with the way the characters behave on the show.
- Playful Luna = always cute.
- The build-up in Fluttershy's anxieties leading up to Nightmare Night makes this believeable as a huge problem to her, and helps both set the scene and build up sympathy. (As if we really need help rooting for 'Shy, but you know what I mean.)
- The callbacks to "Luna Eclipsed" (and other episodes) show that (unlike some writers) you actually pay attention and/or have done your homework.
- Fluttershy winning at games/competitions = cute.
- Luna with arachnophobia? Amusing and cute.
- Luna calls Fluttershy a badass: awesome and cute.
- Fluttershy the talented dancer: sweet and cute.
Does that give you enough to work with?
3240184
It does. Thank You.
I'm one of those writers who wants to know specifically why their writing is good (or bad). I think it both helps me find my weak points, and motivates me to keep at it. I really wanted to keep this story as true to the show as possible, so 'Cute' was really a main factor that I was aiming for. It was great to know that I've hit it though.
The way this is written, I wouldn't be surprised if Hasbro/DHX Media used it as the script for the next Nightmare Night episode.
3708926
Thanks for submitting to my folder in The Pleasant Commentator and Review group
I enjoyed how your story followed a clear line of events and I never got lost. I also really liked your choice of dialogue for Princess Luna
she is best horse!
An excellent one-shot all around, you are to be commended. Probably the only gripe I have is your nods to the show. While I think everyone can appreciate your dedication to the source material, I think your story would've stood just fine on it's own without them
Congrats, your story has been reviewed!
This awesome link right here!
The Pleasant Commentator and Review Group thanks you for your submission!
3799506
And I thank the group once again for a very well detailed, honest and fair review. Much appreciated.
3799714
Always happy to help.
Spread the word around to your friends
Can't leave much useful comments from my phone but this was well written and a fun read!
Well written and very enjoyable
Lovely. I felt bad for Fluttershy being so scared, but it was nice to see her friends help her out. The apple bobbing scene was fun as was her interaction with Luna.