Ben Tennyson is a troubled teen who’s been kicked out of nearly every school he’s attended. Just a week before transferring to Canterlot High School, he discovers the Omnitrix—a powerful alien device that attaches itself to him. Now, as the new kid at CHS, Ben must unravel the mysteries of magic and confront supernatural threats, all while keeping his identity a secret. With no backup, can Ben rise to the challenge—or will the pressure break him?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Very good start to the story!
12211682
Thank you. Although I did cut a lot of things to get past moderation.
How did Ben keep getting expelled from school?
12211781
I cut this explanation from the story—probably shouldn't have—but after all the rewrites, I just couldn't find a good place to put it back in. Basically, he kept getting into fights. The first one was with Cash and JT.
https://youtu.be/ynN_EMMIt0c?si=Whxhdu-NLNIPilXg
just throwing this here.
loving this.
12212374
Thank you
12212374
May I ask what your favorite part is
Already hooked. A good start to the story.
I think I'm gonna enjoy this
word of advice: Do not cut scenes just to get a chapter out faster, stories with a lot of action need pacing
12212518
I'm probably not going to cut scenes from the next chapters I just wanted to get these chapters out so I can post it to the site
12212383
nothing so far has happened but i do love the set up, excited for what’s to come.
Seems really interesting can't wait to read what comes next. I made my own ben meets mlp story but I didn't even think of equestia girls world. Love your ben so far. Keep up the awesome work Im adding this to my favorites
Are you sticking with his first set of 10?
It was a very good chapter, although it was a bit short.
12213937
yes I'm sticking with the original set but the first alien he unlocks is not going to be from the classic TV show I'll give you a hint and say it comes from alien Force. PS I started reading your story a couple days ago I'm only on the second chapter but so far it's pretty good.
12214007
Oh awesome and I can't wait all though I gotta admit im kinda hoping he unlocks rath at some point (he my favorite lol)
Yooooooooooo did not expect that ending! Hell yeah! Can't wait to see what comes next
12215384
Thanks I was building up to other things in this chapter and next chapter is going to be rainbow dash vs Rojo
12215389
Can't wait hope to see it soon
It is going to be interesting to see the alien-Equestria connections.
Also were the duplicated paragraphs when he meet Trixie supposed to be there, or did something happen in the story? I'm confused.
12215471
No, that was my fault. When I write a story, I start with a rough version. Then I make a new document where I rewrite and improve specific paragraphs. Once they're approved, I paste them back into the original document. I don’t delete the old sentences—I just replace them. I must have forgotten to do that with Trixie’s part.
Hold the phone Twilight familiar with Ben aliens
12215685
Yes in the A/N note I explain that the pony world has a version of Ben.
12215891
Will we we that in different story
12215935
Depends if people want to see it
12216051
I definitely do
12216087
Okay then after the first Arc I'll start writing it
That ending was such a cliffhanger. You know how to keep a audience hooked. Can you make the chapters a bit longer please.
12216246
I would love to make the chapters longer, but they already take me a long time to write. I feel like 2,000 words is a good length to end each chapter. I almost made this one around 3,000 words, but I decided against it.
I hope will have an easier time with Rojo considering he is older which would make his aliens older than original ben's were when he fought her and in some cases stronger
Favorite alien?