Celestia's faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, develops a new spell that could help to increase the cognitive capacities of any conscious living being and after try it on different test's subjects, including a lab rat named Algamenon with positive results, she finds herself ready to try it now on an equine being.
Derpy has always been bubbly and happy in attitude, but her carefree personality has constantly caused concern between her friends and co-workers, and seems to be the perfect candidate around for Twilight's new experiment.
During the treatment, Twilight request Derpy with daily notes containing her thoughts and her new found vision about the world, but confronts the discussion about if what she did was ethical, or not.
In the other hoof, Derpy's new concentration as focus of mind, has changed the inner perspective of her world, altering not only to her but also to everypony around the new delivery mare, pushing away old friendships, and igniting new romantic interests; but soon realizing, that probably her only unconditional friend, in her new deviant state, is the lab rat named Algamenon.
[img]http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/262/9/2/derpy_reading_by_lemonlimeman-d4aaihm.gif[/img]
![http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/262/9/2/derpy_reading_by_lemonlimeman-d4aaihm.gif[/img]](http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/262/9/2/derpy_reading_by_lemonlimeman-d4aaihm.gif[/img]){kind=link}
>Flowers for Algernon crossover
I have some high expectations for my favorite novel's crossover.
This'd better be good.
COMMENCE READ!
Edit: Oh my dear god...
Let me sign in. I'm GoldenEagle159, the crappiest and girliest review for the Train Wreck Explorers, a group designed to help bad stories get better, as long as the author is willing to work for it. Now, I shall review this. If you don't want to improve, go ahead and ignore this. If not, READ THIS!
Now, let's start this review, though I cannot make a full one.
Why?
This is unreadable. In the novel, at least every single word wasn't unreadable. This is just... Ugh.
No one in their right mind could read this, or even WANT to try to read it for that point. You could at least have a "translation" for this imbecility. I can't read it. No one can. It's impossible. In the novel, you could understand what's happening; Charlie was mentally handicapped, but at least he was able to use so capitalization, have some grammar, and spell most words right even before the surgery.
Once you make this have the same point the novel did while still making this readable, hit me up. I really want to read a crossover of Flowers for Algernon, since I absolutely adored that novel.
I also cannot give you a full review for this, since I cannot read this. It's too many mistakes to correct, and the entire thing just makes my head hurt and makes me sad, since I actually had some expectations.
Sigh...
I really wanted a good crossover for the novel to read. This might be able to be good, but I just can't read it.
Well, I'm signing off.
Use this information to your advantage, and hopefully you can form a readable sentence next time!
>GoldenEagle159, TWE's local meme enthusiast and 4chan psycho.
Oh god, no. NO! I read Algernon in seventh grade and was depressed and edgy for a week. I'm not reading this, no!
Fine.
This is different. A Flowers for Algernon crossover. I loved the book. I may love this. I will read later.
Quick note though: Most of the synopsis seems to contain run-on sentences and a flood of commas. That alone bothers me, and poses as a bad omen for the actual story.
EDIT: Yep. I am very disappointed. This was completely horrible. I get it. It's Derpy, and it's a sort-of allusion to the original novel... But still..... I can't.
Oh my god this is horrible. I get that it's supposed to be written by Derpy and all, but it's basically unreadable. Fix ALL the errors, then add in some sensible ones that don't detract from readability.
I have a sneaking suspicion that this is just to troll people, but I'm going to hope that that's not true.
Heil mien fuer!
Sorry acknowledgment of grammar nazis...
Anyway... I like it, it's uplifting...
I had little trouble reading the text...A I'm dislexic, B I help grade papers by third graders, C I get it...
The idea is cool, I may have gone with a different direction, but it got my attention, and was nostalgia galore.
You only get one... But you earned it... Keep writing, but don't parody the classics, people get pissed... Trust me.
*Crosses his arms and closes his eyes*
I get the reasoning behind the bad writing at first, you're emulating the actual story this is based off of and I actually understand it.
I don't think this should get shoved away as some grammar or misspelling issue, that can't be it. That's how the story was written at its start. This isn't a trollfic, and trust me, I at least understand the why behind this.
*Looks up to the comment reader*
Hey! Look up 'Flowers for Algernon' for me. Compare that to this and understand this concept that is being made. To you, the author, while I appreciate a good idea being ponified, I can't bring myself to like or favorite this only because I fear that it only encourages others to use other stories and movies and essentially just switch out characters and concepts (Example: I did see at one time a 'Blazing Saddles' ripoff that was nothing more than pony town name changes and basically a word-for-word rewrite of the movie.)
I can see what you've done author, and while I won't show support, I will respect the road you've laid for yourself and I hope that you go forth and continue on.
1471278 This deal is not having fair execution. If you want make a review, you need to ensure completion the full way
I loved that book, so in a way...I love you author. Now someone give me a hug!
Don't wanna read.
Read the book and saw the movie.
Scared of manly tears.
......
Aw, what the heck, Read Later.
Derpy=Charlie Gordon
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Look out My Little Dashie, here comes the next best thing in sad fiction!
Hmmm...
I'd recommend making the bad grammar a little more readable, and possibly put something like a doctor's note at the beginning, showing that the bad writing is intentional.
Oh god i read an exert from FfA last year, I will read this just because of that. but i can't now so well.
*Added to Read Later list*
1471315
Have you read the original Flowers for Algernon?
TA: Before I read this, is this based upon the novel, short story, or movie? Huge differences between the three.
I dont think I'll read. I know the original story, and will probably get depressed in the end of this.
Oh no not a cross over of one of my favorite books. I just hope no one does a crossover of "The Green Mile" cause I'll be very pissed off if they do.
Yay!
Flowers for Algernon crossover! 
I always knew it would be Derpy Hooves as the Charlie. 
1472033 Hello again!
Also, grammar is so horrible... I can't even function.
Did you even read the original book?
I...I mean...
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1471449
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She's a Train Wreck Explorer, she does what she wants.
You overdid the bad writing. Charlie Gordon's writing was childlike, but you at least got the sense that he was trying his damnedest. I'm not getting that here. For reference, here's the text of the short story.
Compared to:
It actually seems like Derpy is somehow making typos in physical writing. I suppose you could justify some of it with how she's not a unicorn so she has to write with her mouth, and I'm sure she's had less practice writing than Charlie by virtue of being a pony, but that brings into question why Twilight would have her write in the first place. Surely it would make more sense to interview her every day and transcribe the results herself?
Still, even if you can justify Derpy's writing in-story, it's still a pain to read and pretty much impossible to understand in most places. This just isn't a feasible way to tell a story. It's practically impossible to get a sense of what's happening here.
When I saw that this was Flowers for Algernon with Derpy, the first fic that came to mind was Bubbles, a six-star fandom classic that remains one of my absolute favourite sadfics (which I recommend to anyone who hasn't read it yet). That's your competition and honestly, this doesn't measure up to it.
Look, it's not easy to write well, and it's harder still to write badly well. I get the sense that English isn't your first language, 'cause you keep using -s for dialogue, which is common practice in some languages, but in English we use "s. Props for trying, but you're not quite there.
I can see you've put some thought into really adapting the work for ponies rather than just copying the book verbatim and substituting names, and that's better than what a lot of crossover writers would do, but the delivery just doesn't work.
Still, I respect what you were trying to do here, so good luck with your work and keep writing.
1473020
I agree with what he said.
If I was writing this, I might have started with something like:
Day Two
Well it looks like here were are, going. Hoping. Twilight said for me to right down every thing, dont know why, but I do care-- I care a lot, Twilight always talking again and now again, talking right now. She is keeping saying how important it is to make downe right down all of my feeling, moment by moment she says, she brushing her mane on my cheeks now-- helping to hold the. the. the writing thing. it is all glowly and is shiny and is black and is hard like every thing else is in this health office,
Twilight smiles. I like her smiling. she can make me smart, of yes, yes, why would I ever-- I not able to even dream of her being wrong, she says already having effects now with largey blobs on screen line ing up to some thing. she is smiling. I love her smiling.
Derpy
You see the contrast?
Hmmm... now I almost want to write this myself.
This could be an intresting story, but the first chapther needs to be rewritten. Strike a balance between readability and Derpy's.... derpyness
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F
k this shit
1473068 I say DO IT!
I already love your writing of even that little excerpt! 
1472557 *she
1473068
Okay, that is pretty awesome. I won't pressure you or anything, but I feel like that's something I'd read.
What the actual hell? I'm pretty sure the author just smashed his face into the keyboard multiple times when writing this.
Having read flowers for algernon, I already know whats going to happen.
Reply to this if you want spoilers!
1472033 Of course. Why else would I have clicked on this in the first place?
1473068 Totally agreed, and please do it. I was really disappointed by this one being so bad.
Arrgh! This not be Flowers for Algernon, it be the remains of what the Kraken had for dinner.
I hates how the author makes Derpy stupid. Derpy is best pony and while she be clumsy and simple she be not retarded.
Neigh, this story be a mistake.
1474140 Yes, brother. Together, you and I shall smite our enemies into dust, and found a new republic. The Republic of Derpy Hooves!
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1473406
1473486
1473896
I'd be interested in writing a version of this myself, as per what I posted in 1473068 ... but this was TrollestiaSubject's idea. I'd like to have permission before I take a serious stab at it.
And I've been really depressed over the past several weeks... not to mention that I'm someone who has dealt with / is dealing with mental illness myself in real-life (depression, high functioning autism, and some schizophrenia-ish like symptoms) ... so writing a sad Derpy fic might prove too emotionally troubling for me (or it might take a long, long time).
Am I going to regret this in a few days for adding this to my "Read Later" list?
Judging by the comments, I have a strong feeling I will...
1477791
nope! it's pretty good so far.
sorry... didn't like it :/
I've never read the book Flowers for Algernon, or however you spell that name. Having said that I find this to be a very interesting concept and yes, while the spelling, grammar, etc are HORRIBLE it's part of the story's plot so it hardly matters. In a sense it's phonetic writing.
Liked. Favorited.
1471278
Added a bit of Readability
1471298
and a flood of some commas were killed; run-on sentences still there
1471315
not a joke, can you belive it?
1471443
It started as an original idea, if i had wanted i would have used the name Algernon, i mean, if hasbro doesn't demands me, why whould keyes? but it's not a carbon copy
1471549
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1471845
the next chapter are Twilights notes, bad grammar not intended, luckily a lot will be explained there.
1472211
iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/I7CpV.gif?1342342598
1472240
nice idea its gonna be called The Sun Mile
1472412 1472510 1478770
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1473020
She's dyslexic, i thought people was going to figure out, maybe i'll add subtitles. and thx, this was born actually as an original idea, but set the words "flower for" paid off i guess
1472033
none of them
1473068 1475555 1473406 1473896
1473284
yeah, blow up, blow it well baby
1473441
Derpy
1473537
i did actually
1474140
She's not stupid, she's dyslexic
1475288
if the cat says so
1480320
no problem pal, thx for the comment
Kill....please.....kill me....
This is an amazing story! I love that Doctor and Ditzy/Derpy are in love! >w<
Also maybe Doctor and Derpy can have some cuddles?
I dont understand what all the bad comments are about..... I thought it was really good...
Keep up the good work
I think its amazing! Lovely please carry on!
You fail at life.
I read Flowers for Algernon in English. Oh, the tears!
wait. so the same person who wrote that first chapter... wrote this? holy shit.
that last chapter was utter drivel. this... was awesome. please write more like this in the future.
1695514
I'm stuck with dates, should i just use march, april, may, of french calendar, have they even said dates in the English voiced show? or should I show you you all a hoof and make you calculate the days? next part is Twilight's notes and they background derpy's narration.
1695553
just go with IRL months. I'm sure they aren't too far removed from pony months.
This could seriously be executed better. I know you're going for the whole "derpy derp" thing, but derpy is just a little scatterbrained, and clumsy. and she may occasionally misspell a couple words in a cute fashion.... but this.... this just portrays her as stupid. no, just no.
I know you're saying she's dyslexic but....
appleshort