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Chapter 1: The Joker Has Arrived3,677 words
Chapter 2: Royal Pain In The Butt3,163 words
Chapter 3: Party Favors4,335 words
Chapter 4: Gala Crasher3,244 words
Chapter 5: Canterlot Racers3,050 words
Chapter 6: Breaking Out With A Plan2,299 words
Chapter 7: A Party Would Be Delightful: Part 13,099 words
Chapter 8: A Party Would Be Delightful: Part 22,989 words
Chapter 9: A Party Would Be Delightful: Part 33,016 words
Chapter 10: Therapy Sessions4,042 words
Chapter 11: Devious Minds3,253 words
Chapter 12: It Was Only A Dream...2,363 words
Chapter 13: ... And Now It's A Nightmare2,864 words
Chapter 14: New Laughs, Old Memories1,266 words

Chapter 4: Gala Crasher

Ooh, looks like things are finally getting interesting.

You're planning something sneaky, aren't you?

My simple minded boy, what ever do you mean? Me, planning something sneaky? Why, I would never.

That's a lie and you know it.

And now you're calling me a liar! I'm hurt, deeply hurt at what you really think of me. And here I thought *sob* we were friends.

We are friends! It's just... sorry Joker. It was wrong of me to accuse you like that.

Glad to hear it Bob!

My name isn't Bob.

And my name isn't McJagger. But just we can't have everything in life , now can we Marty?

My name isn't... never mind. You're obviously not listening.

I do it because I don't care.

Has anyone every told you you're an asshole?

Multiple times Taco. But I always get payback by sticking whatever I have at hand up their anus. Good times, good times.

You are a sick individual. And why Taco?

I don't know what ethnicity you are. So I'm just running on guesses here, plus I have a hankering for some Mexican food.

That's racist.

Whatever you say Wang.

So now you want Chinese food?

Actually Japanese. I but I guess I can go for some grilled dog.

That's it, I'm going to stop this before you insult anyone else.

Hey, what do you call a bus full of white people? A twinkie! Hahahahahahaahah!

The day has finally arrived. The Grand Galloping Gala, the most exclusive and spectacular social event of the year, is running in full swing. Nobility brushed hooves with celebrities, the rich discussing topics with the successful, and the powerful ate little finger sandwiches with the influential. A riveting field of engrossing subjects such as espionage, politics, fashion, and even who was secretly fucking who was talked here.

Pinkie's preparation was met with a big success, which surprised Twilight to no end. Bright, colorful banners adorned the halls, along with a multitude of streamers hanging from the ceiling. Balloons galore could be seen everywhere, each with a cheerful smile face on it. Cheesy pony games were also in great abundance, with huge lines of nobles waiting to try them out. It was very much a party for a 'six year old girl', but the aristocrats of one of the most prominent countries in the world were loving the heck out of it.

The answer Twilight was looking for was soon answered when her brother appeared next to her. "Enjoying the party Twily?" Shining Armor asked his worried sister.

Twilight shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. "Yeah, sure Shining. What I don't understand is why all the nobles are liking it."

Shining smiled. "You can thank my wedding for that. After Pinkie threw that one, the stuck ups couldn't wait to get another taste. I guess there's something appealing about letting loose and acting like a kid again."

A conga line quickly formed on the dance floor, led by none other than the premier party pony herself, Pinkie. "Yeah, I can see what you mean."

"So Shining, you looking after 'you know who'?" Twilight asked her brother.

Shining frowned slightly, clearly not keen for the particular someone. "Unfortunately, no. He's been preparing all day for this party, and he says I distract him too much, so he has a different set of guards on him."

"You don't seem too happy about that," Twilight noted.

"Of course I'm not happy! Who knows what that maniac has up his sleeve. This is why I asked Cadence not to come to the Gala. I don't want anything to happen to her. Which is why I'm going to ask you again-"

"No Shining, I'll stay. If I can handle Nightmare Moon, Discord, and Chrysalis, then there's nothing this human can throw at me that I haven't dealt with before."

"Is that why you told Spike he couldn't come?"

Twilight scowled at her brother. "I said I can handle it. I don't want Spike in any possible dangerous situations."

"So you don't trust the human!" Shining exclaimed eagerly.

"I wouldn't say I don't trust him," Twilight began to explain. "It's just that something is... off about him."

"What was your first clue? The make up? Or maybe it was the hair? Wait, no, it would have to be the clothes."

"Haha, very funny,"Twilight interrupted.

"Heeeeeeyyyyyy you guys! Why aren't you on the dance floor?" asked Pinkie Pie, who mysteriously snuck up on them by popping out of a punch bowl next to the duo.

"We just don't feel like it," Twilight calmly replied.

"That's not the partying spirit! You need to get your groove thang down there!" the pink pony shouted, shaking her plot like no tomorrow.

Twilight facehoofed at her friend's blatant show of her ass in front of her brother, who turned his blushing face away from the arousing dance. "Pinkie, remember the last time I 'shook my groove thang'? I looked like a total fool."

Pinkie waved her hoof and rolled her eyes. "Oh come one Twilight, you wren't that bad. All you need to do is let loose, dance like a moose, and drink some of this juice!" Pinkie handed her a cup of sweet smelling liquid. "I heard alcohol usually helps with dancing! Plus, this is Joker's special brew! It tastes super fantastic!"

Twilight stared skeptically at the red juice in the cup, but after Pinkie wouldn't stop gawking at her, she took a sip. She was surprised at its wondrous flavor. It was like a mix of pineapple and strawberries, super sweet, yet not off putting at all. While Twilight wasn't usually a drinker, she gladly began to guzzle her cup, and acquired seconds immediately. It looked like the nobles also had a fondness for the drink, with nearly all the party goers having had seconds or thirds of the wondrous concoction.

However, Shining wasn't partaking in the sipping of alcoholic beverages, instead glaring in suspicion at his cup like it contained poison. "Oh lighten up Shining," sneered a now slightly buzzed Twilight. "Its a party. Have some fun!"

Still pouting, he shrugged his shoulders and downed the entire glass in one go. Smiling from the effects of alcohol hitting his bloodstream, he seemed much more relaxed.

On her second one, Twilight noticed something strange. A faint aftertaste, but she couldn't put her hoof on it. It tasted familiar was all she could deduce. Before she could further figure out what it was, she noticed Princess Celestia moodily sulking near the dessert cart. Upon closer glance one could see two entire triple decker cakes were reduced to a few crumbles and stray icing. A third cake was about to the join its comrades as Celestia hastily gobbled it up in a very unprincess like manner.

"Um, Princess, why are you devouring all these cakes," Twilight curiously asked her depressed mentor.

The Princess ceased her gluttonous eating, only for tears to form in her violet eyes. "Oh Twilight, just feel awful for the way I treated Luna. She was so looking forward to the Gala, but now she's just sulking in her room, refusing to speak to me. It's just like last time," Celestia peered into the distance, recalling memories that made her shiver.

"Princess, it isn't you fault," Twilight began.

"Yes it is!" cried Celestia. "I was too hard on her! I'm going to go over to her right now and tell her she can go to the Gala. Hopefully then she'll forgive me."

Glancing at a elegantly made clock on the wall, Twilight shook her head. "I'm afraid that will have to wait your majesty. The Joker is about to make his appearance."

Celestia nodded to her student. "You're right Twilight. I'll go to Luna after the Joker is done showing off."

The Princess departed from the dessert cart, not before staring the final cake longingly. After wiping the last of the frosting from her mouth, she took center stage on the balcony overseeing the ballroom, so all ponies may see her. "Attention loyal citizens," she bellowed, adopting the Royal Canterlot voice, although at a much weaker sound than her sister liked to use. "You are here today to celebrate the Grand Galloping Gala, one of the greatest and most highly held traditional parties in Equestrian history. But many of you are also here to know what special guest we have staying with us in the palace."

Reporters eagerly grinned and prepared their cameras, many of them having gained entrance into the Gala from the influence of their respective news stations. So far it wasn't known who the special guest was, only that it arrived a couple of days ago and was a tightly kept secret. Reports as outlandish as illegitimate royal children from a secret lover of the Princess was circling through the press, but now was the chance to know for sure.

Soon everyone was in the ballroom, many ponies such as the Wonderbolts having abandoned their VIP area in the garden to hear the exciting news. Finally, with a grand flourish of hoof pointing at the doors at the opposite end of the balcony, Celestia shouted, "Well here he is! The human known as the Joker!"

The band started playing a catchy tune, personally selected by the Joker himself for some strange reason.

The doors opened with a resounding crash, caused by a sharp pointed shoe that kicked them open. Brandishing his show stopping smile, he yelled to the crowd of fancily attired ponies, "Hello Canterlot! Are you ready to rock?" Two fingers at opposite ends of his end were pointed upward as his arm was lifted to the heavens.

Pretty much everypony had their mouth agape, some even comically reaching the floor. This was the most unexpected thing anyone could have expected. Now ain't that a contradiction!

Seeing that his show stopping smile actually stopped the show, he decided to take a more subtle approach. "Hey now, I thought this was a party! And these are supposed to be some party ponies!" he skipped down the empty red carpet leading to the balcony and began to interact with the shocked ponies.

"Some pretty flowers for a pretty face," he crooned to an tastefully dressed mare, a colorful bouquet of flowers appearing from inside his sleeve. The mare graciously accepted the flowers and nearly fainted from the sheer amount of class the Joker had.

Stopping near a group of young aristocrats, he pointed to a photographer and shouted, "Hey, you!"

"M-me?" the photographer nervously asked.

"Who else? Mind taking a picture of me and my friends?" The photographer hesitantly nodded. Crouching down to be on the same level of the confused ponies, he reached his lankly arms out and pulled the group in a suffocating hold. Smiling cheerfully, the group of ponies followed suit, for fear of what he'd do if they didn't comply. After the flash of the picture he departed, the group even more confused than before.

The crowd of earlier flabbergasted ponies were beginning to warm up now that they saw the Joker's spontaneous and overall jolly nature. The press even began to take more pictures of him. Recognizing the alluring flash of a camera, which he exceptionally relished back on Earth, he confronted the media ponies. "Please, get my good side," He turned around repeatedly in circles, switching from one outlandish pose to the next. The press was eating it up.

"Everybody conga!" he boomed suddenly, Pinkie the first to join his impromptu line of dancers. Soon nearly everypony in the ballroom were, in Pinkie's own words, shaking their groove thangs. Meanwhile Princess Celestia, Twilight, and Shining were absolutely astonished that the Joker could get an entire room of people that weren't his own species to openly dance and be comfortable around him in only a matter of minutes.

Withdrawing from the conga line, he took center stage on the balcony, a spot light shining on him. He took a couple of graceful bows to the multitude of ponies, who were now applauding their hooves on the ground and whistling. The cameras never stopped flashing, the news story of a lifetime running rampant on the press' mind.

Waiting for the applause and shouts of approval to die down, he produced a handkerchief from the front pocket of his jacket and wiped his forehead. "I sure wasn't lying about you guys being party ponies! I could barley keep up! But seriously folks, you all are awesome! Never a better welcoming party than the one you have here!" The ponies whooped and hollered ecstatically.

"And as a show of my admiration for you all, I have a very special surprise!" The nobles oohed loudly, excited to see what the surprise will be. The Joker reached into a hidden pocket of his jacket, producing a simple remote switch. He pressed the tempting red button, and what followed was complete fear overtaking all the ponies in the room.

Hidden steel grills rolled down over down over all windows, blocking the moonlight entering the room. Loud audible clicks could be heard from the closed doors, with banging on the other side indicating they were locked. Panic began to set in, with ponies trying in vain to break through the doors while the Wonderbolts attempted to escape through the steel grills, with no result. All the while the Joker laughed demonically, taking in great pleasure from the chaos he was creating.

"Hahahahahaha! Hey, don't leave yet! You'll forget your goodie bags! Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" Another click of the detonator revealed that the candles on each of the tables in the ballroom were actually cleverly disguised gas canisters, with a strange green smoke slightly pouring out of them.

Suddenly the Joker was pulled of his feet, the detonator falling from his grip. Princess Celestia was furious, which was evident from the fiery glow of her horn that enveloped the Joker in a strangle hold of magic. "Joker, what is the meaning of this?" she shouted, the entire room rumbling from her voice.

The Joker's face was turning from his natural bleached white to a dark blue as he clutched his neck, so the Princess released some of the pressure on the clown so he talk. "There *cough* isn't any *cough* meaning for this. I just *cough* did it for shits and giggles," he chocked out.

"Well, you're going to stop it immediately! Release the locks on the doors at once!"

"Awe, looks like someone didn't get the joke. Here, maybe this will make you chuckle a bit!" Before Celestia could react the Joker pressed a concealed button under his jacket, causing the flower on his suit to spray the Princess directly in the face with a greenish yellow cloud.

The Joker was violently shaken by the now even more pissed of Celestia. "Why you vile little man! I'm going to be- heh, I'm going to- heh ho ho, I'm go- heh heh ho ha ha ha heh- hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" The Princess was on the ground now, laughing like a madmare as the crowd momentarily ceased their escape attempts.

The Joker too was on the ground, the Princess's magical hold on him gone. Dusting his suit off, he picked up his detonator while the Princess continued to laugh louder and louder, until she was silenced by bubbling drool that filled her unnaturally huge smile. Her face was now a near Equis impersonation of the Joker's, her now red eyes bulging out of her skull and her smile the same sickly yellow like his own.

"Princess!" Twilight cried out, falling to her mentors side to see if she was alright. She was still breathing, but her heart was going at what felt like ten beats per second. Shaking in anger, she confront the Joker, her horn glowing. Her own brother joined her, their duel magic an incredible threat. The Joker just glanced at them, and gave a sharp bark of a laugh. "Don't even bother. You're powerless to stop me now."

Both Shining and Twilight concentrated huge amounts of their magic to subdue the maniac clown, but their horns only glowed dimly and sparked. Many unicorns around the room also realized their own magic was't working, when they tried to teleport the heck out of there. Then it hit Twilight why their magic wash't working.

"That potion," she whispered.

"Looks like Twinkles here figured out the answer! I spiked the punch bowl!" he taunted. The potion Twilight taught the clown for reducing a unicorns magic was used against her and the rest of the ponies in the room. She should have guessed from the oddly familiar flavor she tasted, but she never put two and two together. Until it was too late.

The Joker returned to the spotlight, all the ponies staring at him in fear. "Now wasn't that fun?" he sarcastically asked the terrorized crowd.

"As you can all see from your Princess, she's not looking too good right now," he merrily pointed to the prone form of Celestia on the ground. "But don't fret my little ponies, she's going to be A-okay, after her face muscles relax. But I'm afraid I can't say the same for you all."

He paced back and forth on the balcony stage, hundreds of frightened eyes following his every move. "What your Princess got was a low dose of Joker Gas, a toxic chemical the painfully kills the victim after a good laughing session. As of right now there's enough gas in this room to kill everyone, and then some for some added fun," the Joker beamed to them all, the deep level of his depravity sinking into them.

"This can all be avoided with one simple task. Handing over any cash, jewelry, or expensive doohickies, to me," The nobles were at an outcry, their inner greediness not handing one bit over. The Joker turned his back to the angry mob and raised the hand holding the detonator. "Then I guess you all want to die with a smile on your face?"

The mob went silent, sweat pouring down their anxious faces. The Joker turned back to them and smirked deviously, his lips pulled back to their full extent to reveal his foul teeth. "I thought so. Muhahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha!"

Author's Note:

Play this during the Joker's entrance for added effect.

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Just Joking - RainbowBob

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