Just Joking

by RainbowBob

Chapter 14: New Laughs, Old Memories

Well, Luna’s fucked.

Such vulgarity! Do try to have some semblance of sophistication.

Me? Unsophisticated? You just killed a guy less than five minutes ago!

Yes, but with class!

Wearing a tux and using fancy silverware does not count as class!

Well then, I do believe I’ll take my murdering spree somewhere else, thank you very much. The nerve of some people.

And for Christ’s sake, please try to not get bloodstains on the tux. It cost me a lot of money to rent it for you, and it’s dry clean only!

Why aren’t you a little complainer.

You’re not the one who has to pay rent again this month! You’d think a roommate would be more considerate in helping pay for the rent.

Hey, I am considerate! I killed the landlord, didn’t I?

… Say what now?

He’s in the washing machine.

Okay, first off, why? And secondly, why in the washing machine?

The spin cycle didn’t work. He couldn’t fix it. Good news, now we have free detergent!

And a washing machine filled with a dead body!

Hey, I’m just trying to look on the bright side of things. You didn’t even hear what I did to the drying machine.

This is going to cost me a lot of quarters, isn’t it?

By the time I’m done destroying this soda machine, we won’t have to worry about running out of quarters ever again!

---

“Wh-where am I?” Luna asked, blinking her eyes as she felt the fuzziness she experienced before leaving her vision. She felt as if her mouth was full of cotton balls and her brain was barely able to function coherently.

“Why, still sleeping like a princess,” a shadowed figure said before her, before stepping into the light from overhead to reveal the lanky figure of the Joker, still smiling like a madman.

Then it all came rushing back to her. Entering the Joker’s dreams, becoming trapped in his twisted mind, going through each one of his merciless crimes one by one. All as the victims, of course. She must’ve blacked out. But how was that even possible in a dream?

“What’s happening now?” Luna asked her captor, too weak to move. Her mind was so jaded from the repeated murders that she could hardly think straight.

The Joker just grinned an extra malicious smile. “Don’t you remember what happened before you blacked out?”

“Yeah… you skinned me alive,” Luna answered, wincing at the memory. “Then threw me onstage for a crowd to laugh at me. It… it… hurt so horribly...”

“Give the girl a treat, because she got it right!” the Joker congratulated her, reaching into his coat pocket and rummaging through it for a moment. “Do you know what’s going to happen now?”

“Please… please, just end it,” Luna begged. She had already gone through enough pain, enough nightmares, to last most ponies their entire lifetime. Too bad for Luna, she still had several lifetimes to go.

“Oh, I will soon enough.” The Joker finally found what he was looking for. A large handgun that looked like it was better suited as a two-hand assault weapon. Pointing the wide end muzzle directly in her face, he asked, “So, Luny, feel a tingling on your face?”

“It… IT BURNS!” Luna cried out, half of her face feeling like it was on fire. It felt like the meat of her cheek and even her bone had melted off, leaving a large bloody wound in its place.

“Yeah, a combination of electricity and acid can do that to ya,” he laughed, trigger finger eager to click away. “But don’t worry. I have about 10 millimeters of medicine to take care of that for you!”

BLAM!

“Bahahahahahahahaha!” the Joker laughed hysterically, slapping his knee in glee over the dead body of Luna. “That was even more fun than killing Luthor! Well, his alternate form, anyways.”

Luna moaned, reforming in her own bloody pool as her face healed back up. She wouldn’t die, of course. Not until the Joker was done with his fun, that is.

“Please, just end this torture! End it in mercy’s name!”

“Sorry, but mercy’s name is nadda, and she can be quite a bitch sometimes,” the Joker chuckled, throwing his gun to the side to lean down beside her. “But why the long face, horse creature? Didn’t you want to teach me a lesson? Because you’re succeeding in that for sure! Now I’m learning just how far a mind can go...” The Joker tapped Luna’s temple with his skinny finger. “Until the breaking point.”

“Is there nothing that can defeat you?” Luna asked, too exhausted to slap away his pointer in her face. “Are you just some disease that sweeps through the land and destroys all in its path?”

“The second part you’re correctomundo about,” the Joker agreed, stretching his bowtie out to fit more snugly around his neck. “Though I prefer cancer. Maybe even an STD. It’d make more sense, since laughter is quite contagious!” Letting loose a chorus of chuckles that sent shivers down Luna’s spine, the Joker slapped his hands together quite suddenly. “Though there is one thing that beats me time and time again.”

“What is it?” Luna asked, a glimmer of hope shining in her heart at the possibility of ending this nightmare once and for all. Anything to just escape this hellish torment.

“More like a who. And even then, I don’t know,” the Joker said, shrugging his shoulders. A shadow behind himself repeated this action, growing larger and larger as the second ticked by. “He’s an enigma wrapped in mystery and double dipped in puzzlement while being deep fried in cholesterol inducing foods. A man of no other caliber could contend with him. Truly a genius. And truly a worthy nemesis for me to fight.”

“Why? Why fight?”

“Why not? What else would I do?” the Joker laughed, his shadow now overshadowing him. It grew even larger, a black induced ghoul of darkness. “Fight someone else? No one can compare, keep up with, or even come close to the Batman!”

“Bat… man?” Luna said, unsure what he meant by this.

“A goody two-shoes that didn’t know how to have a good time,” the Joker explained, the shadow rippling with energy. “He was just a lovable stick in the mud. A complete opposite to me in many ways, while we were the same in many others as well.”

“Are you scared of him?” Luna asked, noticing that the shadow was clinging to the Joker like dripping oil.

“Scared? Why would I be scared of good ol’ Batsy?” the Joker asked, his shadow completely consuming him now.

His slender body grew big and bulky, muscles packed tight underneath. On his chest was a black bat symbol, his ridiculous purple suit from before replaced with a dark grey costume with a black cowl and cape. The mask he wore covered half his face, revealing a hardline jaw with a frown and a dark mask whose eyes sent waves of fear to any who looked directly in them.

“I am Batsy!” the Joker, or rather, Batman, laughed, grin still as disturbing whether in his new form or the old. “Time for you to see how justice really works!”

Unluckily for Luna, closing her eyes away from the nightmarish sight and praying it’d be over quicker did nothing to save her. Neither did screaming either.

Comments

[Cold Spike]

So... when is Batman going to show up?

[TGM]

Oh dear lord.... just when I thought I've seen every crossover known to pony kind...

welp...

giffiles.alphacoders.com/192/1929.gif

[JBGrim]

Bwhahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!

[The Watcher 509]

I wanna mom but my laugh won't let me.

[Tantalus]

Well, we're boned.

[Lord One Fish]

The mask he worse wore covered half his face,

[mojaramask]

3227103 Heh, of course it's a joke. Nothing can teach Joker friendship this side of an alternate universe.

[Ranger Sonicboom]

i feel so evil reading this and so should you!

[redandready45]

I listened to this while I was reading it.

[Cold Spike]

Hey, he's Batman! And he can breathe in space. Also I think The Joker is gonna grow bored without him. 3227823

[Clocklike]

Loved it, like usual...but I found the wait kind of long for a chapter this long. I understand you have other stories to take care of, but still, this story is moving at snail speed.

[Stone Cold Steve Buscemi]

3227823

Hold on ... He's Batman he'll find a way. Do you know why ........... BECAUSE HE'S BATMAN !!!

[Stone Cold Steve Buscemi]

Depends if its justice leauge Batman then he could do it.

[hs0003]

Read the whole thing in one go, and I enjoyed every second of it
Liked and faved

[kooarbiter]

this was a really short but brutal chapter, I'm still waiting for tia to show up as batmare and save the dayXD or maybe just a batpony

[totallynotaunicorn]

Yay! More updates!

[Supreme Assassin]

please don't have batman show up or it won't be fun anymore

[Jacob Ellinger]

this cold be a troll fic. how great a joke it would be if the author just up and switched the end of the story or something and said "it's just a joke" lol

[slender]

[chinlamp]

3232164 Except they don't know that and the Joker was playing nice at the time.

The dude likes to break expectations. He'd have a non-lethal buzzer (all be it still more powerful than usual) simply because in Gotham, everyone expects him to kill them. So he'd go to shake their hands, they'd crap themselves knowing what's coming but can't avoid it, hum and haw for minutes as they work themselves into a panic, finally shaking his hand for a mild shock. Then they'd laugh in relief and he'd spray them with Joker gas to make the laughter more heartfelt.

Or shoot them.

Or push them into the path of an oncoming car.

Or push them off a building.

My point is that he very well could have a non-lethal buzzer and my previous comment still stands.

Rainbow Dash is a hypocrite.

[Mr. Grimm]

Aw man, when his shadow turned into Batman...

I was really hoping Luna was tricking him into revealing his own fear, which was materializing behind him.

Also, when it comes to Joker's Fears, I think this is pretty relevant, given how he was so scared he actually CALLED BATMAN for help.

[Paladin Redflare]

HAAAHAAAHAAA He's Batman!!

[Jacob Ellinger]

3232580 you don't know that he was playing nice either.
My point being that a simple hand buzzer does not shock you so hard your hair stands on end and actually ignites.
Dash gets the difference.

[chinlamp]

3246184 Watch Griffon the Brush-Off again. It does make your hair stand on end. It also had enough of a kick to put Gilda on the ground.

[xv22shasokais]

Finally, a new chapter!
I marked this story in Chrome's bookmark bar (from the day I hadn't created an account) and somehow my feelings just tells me to open the bar again.
I picked "Just Joking" by random and voila! New chapter!

Please continue with the madness that is Joker, thank you.

[Ungrateful Potato]

And the story continues

[Infamous IF]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=pAn49oUtHJE]

[Wyrme]

Joker, wait-No! You can't do this to Luna! She's best pony! You can't kill best pony!
You know who we need? Batman. How are we gonna get Batman? Pinkie Pie. She can break the fourth wall. She could probably somehow bend the rules of logic and reality enough to end up in the DC universe and retrieve Batman. I figured it out!
I just saved the world!

[Kumquatodor]

Please update! If that's OK with you, I mean. If that is alright with you, of course...

[Kumquatodor]

Is this fic dead? If so, it'd be a shame.

[Exgallion]

There is one thing/being that the Joker fears above all. The Yellow-Skinned Wacky-Man!
Aka The Creeper.

[KingHonorius12]

So short! Need more Joker! NOW!

[loupgaroupgris]

Well equestrian doom not even discord could beat the Joker he's basically is insanity itself.

[LuminoZero]

Rainbow Bob issued me a challenge.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

i.imgur.com/DlZPNgZ.gif

-Lumino

[The grey paladin]

3228704 Except for his utility belt.

[M-Tails-P]

4017472
44 weeks, really?

[Kumquatodor]

4017503 Late answers are better than no answers at all... And I thought your comment was more recent...

Anyways,
I WANT MOAR

[JBGrim]

[youtube=gVok-7tDFF8] Yeah, old songs!

[JBGrim]

4312754 Yeah, it is.

[Rikkity]

Batman kick Joker's ass now?

[asdjon]

new chapter?

[ledezma25]

joker can you threaten RainbowBob with unspeakable (and speakable) horrors in order to make him continue your story. If he needs motivation I am sure you can provide it.

[Artful Peddler]

010100100110000101101001011011100110001001101111011101110100001001101111011000100010000001110111011010000111100100100000011001000110111100100000011110010110111101110101001000000110110101100001011010110110010100100000011100110110111100100000011011010110000101101110011110010010000001100111011011110110111101100100001000000111001101110100011011110111001001101001011001010111001100100000011000100111010101110100001000000110010001101111011011100010011101110100001000000110011001101001011011100110100101110011011010000010000001110011011011110010000001101101011000010110111001111001001000000110111101100110001000000111010001101000011001010110110100111111

[asdjon]

4524928

01101101 01111001 00100000 01101110 01100001 01101101 01100101 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01001000 01101111 01101111 01100100
By the way you didn't actually wright anything

Try this:www.binarytranslator.com

[Artful Peddler]

4738551 01001110 01101001 01100011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101101 01100101 01100101 01110100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01001000 01101111 01101111 01100100 00101110

That's odd....last I checked my binary code worked...

[dominatusimperator]

01010100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01000001 01100100 01100101 01110000 01110100 01110101 01110011 00100000 01001101 01100101 01100011 01101000 01100001 01101110 01101001 01100011 01110101 01110011 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110011 00100000 01101110 01100101 01100101 01100100 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01101111 01110010 01100111 01100001 01101110 01110011 00101110

[asdjon]

4751193 01010111 01101000 01101111 00111111

[asdjon]

4739482 01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01010100 01101111 00101110

My bad...
You just didn't add spaces.

[The Hat Mann]

Last Modified
19th Sep 2013

HEY RAINBOWBOB, THIS STORY IS AMAZING, PLEASE CONTINUE PLZ!

[GMD]

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