Storymaker
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Quede impresionado por este primer capítulo, estoy con la intriga de como continuara.
Interesting setup. I do like how it started like a normal HIE Isekei-ish fic but then takes a dark turn. I'm looking forward to your next chapter.
You don't have the dark tag on this so I'm going to assume he doesn't just cave and has his brain melted. I am curious to see how far that non-con tag is going to go though. Some of the stuff in this chapter already flexes that tag, but obviously it can get a lot uglier.
12197688
I’m still new at this and, honestly, I’m figuring things out as I go. I want it to be really great
Thanks
Todavía soy nuevo en esto y, sinceramente, voy descubriendo cosas sobre la marcha. ¡Quiero que sea realmente genial
Gracias
Oh, this first chapter is quite good, you nailed it and I'm hooked now. Def fav and follow. Didn't expect for Twily to go basically the borderline yandere route, though not unwelcomed, really want to see how the rest of society treats the stallions now. Wild guess here but the one who overheard him singing was Starlight? Oh man, I am now rooting for a pairing between those two, how scandalous would that be?
Looking forward to more chapters the music fit it the scene extremely well
12197728
The max number for genres is 3. But I put them in the description
12197748
thank you it took me so long to find a song that fits
I appreciate that so much
12197784
Ah, missed that part of the description. Welp, I guess I better prep for a darker wild ride then.
bros made of sugar spice and everything nice
Really hoping twily gets her head stomped into the ground.
This story is velvety torture of the soul. I hate it.
Holy shit. I totally skipped half the description and just jumped right in, didn't even realize he'd be an alicorn. This story is going to be good isn't it? Jack is going to have one hell of a fight here.
Also, I can't help but notice that the story itself begins referring to Jack as Solstice as well, once the others rename him. Feels like almost more salt in the wound.
I eagerly await more :3
Great song choice, Sunrise by Our Last Night would have worked too i think, but that’s just me
12198186
Then your really going to hate one of my future story projects….its gonna be designed to pissed you off, make you depressed and make you appreciate all at the same time.
I...Do hope that the one who opened the door and then left was Twilight, and that the story will have her become very guilty for what she did and how she hurt the mc is, so that if there is a romance in here, it can be a good or genuine one rather than...
Well
Filled with hate.
If it does go this route though, I'd expect some helen of troy or rebellion to happen. Maybe with Twilight realizing the horror the sisters allow, if it is such. Or maybe the mc embraces his alicorn nature and finds out he is terrifyingly strong, and over time becomes powerful enough to challenge everyone. Hm
He seems to be embodying the elements of harmony far better than twilight is right then. At least, parts of it...Hm
Not honesty though
Maybe
Alicorn of Harmony? The Tree's actual agent? Or is the tree part of the problem over time?
12198375
There are a lot of red tags and the dark tag, I doubt it will go that way.
PS. The "dark" tag is very important to the direction of the story and I don't think it should be at the end of the description. It is very well written and maybe that is the reason for the negative votes? Readers seeing what they don't like.
Nice story so far, I hope he comes around to be a good home husband and home maker for Twilight, Afterall that's was Celestia created stallions for.
12198375
I would expect their to be various kinds harmony. Like in a 10/10 evil world I would expect the elements choosing the main 6 as a choice of lesser of evils but no doubt they would still be pretty bad but there would probably be a line they don’t pass that makes them fit the requirements.
vs a normal 1/10 good world where everything is good and they elements would choose the most good in the world which would still be the main 6.
But I know in the comics there are different trees of harmony but that’s for a future story to discuss
You know what I mean
ok now its scary in the first couple of word its was like i want to be him but now i am not sure. but i have to say one things you change the sex of the prota and the story become unreadable its a strange why we accept that for a man but not for a women. but this type of story is my thing lets go
Don’t know if I want Jack to resist with everything at all times or if he should be conniving about it… but he sure is in a pickle.
I still think he accepted it too easily. Damn, at least with this new strength, breaking the whole room would be a start. Seriously, I hope he resists, resists a lot beyond singing and getting all sad and singing.
This whole shit is unfair and he knows it. If there's one thing a primate, any type of primate, hates the most, it's injustice, it doesn't even have to be human.
That said, I found the premise interesting, but I hope he doesn't accept being told what his name is, who he is and how he should act, even if he suffers the consequences for it.
Im interested, hopefully its a slow burn, and hopefully shes just keeping up a front to make him think thats how things are rather than all of society viewing men as ownable, seems a bit too extreme
12198783
That’s what a RGRE is but don’t worry I’m coming up with different story’s soon there in the making….one’s gonna be really good….or I might go with the other one *rubs hands evil like*
My guy, this was way better than I could've ever expected. Seriously, I hope this gets featured. I especially love the sudden shift in tone as Jack is exposed to the darker side of this world, a world he's less familiar with than he initially thought. I love Jack himself, as well. His life is essentially a bell curve in terms of quality, where he was depressed when he first watched MLP, was doing great before being brought to Equestria, and is now back down again.
I hope you continue to make this story great. I'm proud of you.
12198632
I've got the same question in my head. Is he going to do this the easy way or the 'I'm going to make myself as sly and unlikeable to you as possible so you don't even want to date me' way. Obviously the second way would be worse for him. Playing 'hard to get' as the mares would see it probably wouldn't work out so well, and even if it works and gets Twilight away from him he still has the entire rest of the mare population to keep away from his own alicorn butt.
Was thinking about this story throughout today. I truly love how it starts out. The very beginning shows this character that almost seems like he's going to be an absolute Gary Stu. Works its way up to seem like it's just going to be a generic "human goes to Equestria and fucks" kind of story...
And then suddenly slams that idea away. The world here is hell. The ponies, corrupted. You have no rights whatsoever; you could be tortured in Twilight's basement for all of eternity and there'd be nothing (legally) that you can do, or even really that anyone else can do -- not that they'd want to help, I get the vibe that they'd just join in on the torture.
You are confused and afraid in a place that isn't home. A place that every person you turn to is potentially dangerous. There's no escape.
This is going to be good.
Just wanted to get that out of my head since it's been bouncing around it for most of the day.
The haunting laughter of an old, manic writer echoes throughout the void as another becomes entombed within the RGRE verse...
I really hope he will resist the regime of this world, and will show everyone the power of mankind ...
12198742
You bring up a point I was thinking about, I really hope he doesn't accept the name. Like it may seem small but a name really is the general encapsulation of who you are. It's what people say when they want your attention and the first thing about yourself you will usually tell someone. It is not to be changed on a whim and certainly not by someone else. If your name is going to change it should be your choice.
Feeling strangely philosophical ig, Happy Writting!!
12199034
Should I give them different story’s while I create more of this one? I mean I have like a bunch of different ones sitting in my note pads from like a year ago….it wouldn’t be a hassle at all
It would just take some time adjusting them and then waiting for the big approval from the mods
12199176
Yes, it was his parents who gave him his name. And now some little shitty princess comes along saying that my name is something else. Fuck off.
Man, imagine if it was a woman in his place and a man in Twi's place. That would be rotten, wouldn't it?Like, she really thinks he's going to like her just because she said so?
imma read this but if he doesn’t crash out and fades the planet i will be disappointed.
12199216
Depends, really.
Are you willing to have three to four different stories, each with a chapter or two, and fans of each story asking/mildly pressuring you to work on their preferred story?
Or, would you prefer to focus on a single story? While allowing the other concepts to languish in the background until the first is complete?
12199230
i would hate for that to happen, if this just turns into him being okay becoming a slave istg.
he should run off train and fade.
man i ain’t religious but imma start praying for that to happen.
12199305
Man, it would be I don't want to dictate how the story should happen, but it would be cool for him to resist as long as he can while he sets up a plan to escape from Equestria. That is, of course, if there really is no way back, or a way to convince them to separate his soul from Twi. Then he would be a type of alicorn wandering around Equus while the ponies try to find him through deserts, badlands, savannas and jungles.
Well, that's because I really don't know what path he's going to take, for such a "special" man - he was chosen as ideal for a very demanding alicorn princess, so it makes sense that he's amazing but not perfect- I don't think he'd keep his voice that low when she said he is not his own person anymore.
That aside, I don't like it when these humans already know in advance who the characters are and have already watched the show. It creates an expectation that he has to use the knowledge which he already have gained from watching the show as an advantage.
12199216
Honestly, I'm more intrigued by the actual premise of this story. If it's not selfish to ask you to focus on this work before writing and thinking about other things, I ask that you do so.
Seriously, I don't remember anyone writing something like this and it's interesting, especially since the character who stars in the story is kind of perfect, but with a very, very good excuse.I don't know what story you have in mind, but with the tags maybe something sinister is cooking on your side of the screen.
Well, thanks for your attention.
(Not to sound eager, but do you have any idea when the next chapter might arrive?)
12199295
So maybe just one more story so I don’t go insane making this one yk gotta space out so I have room to grow plus RGRE is interesting but there was a story that I made a while ago that was my star and I wanted to Throw it out there soon so I might go with my star…maybe work on two and clock work between them.
12199091
here hopping this happens
personally i would go full nutjob and be buddies with Discord/Eris. ultimate rebellion right there, i would think a free spirit would be against what twilight is doing
12198541
Yes, but my point is that if there's a new and better potential bearer...Would the tree choose them as the new bearer?
12199400
Wait, you're not going to be working on this?
12199357
I was told by a fellow writer to give myself a whole month to think of stuff like this and to really plan it out. And to not burn out….. so probably 2 weeks or maybe next week…. If I focus on it…. And trust me when I say this, my top star ain’t this one this one’s like….number 3 or 4….
12199424
To your first question Yea basically.
To your second question
give up on this…Hell no. I ain’t giving up on it I’m seeing it through but I just wanna add one more story’s which is my favorite cause I used to always want to change things about the show and include things that never got included plus it was always fun to make stuff like that. There was always more space and air to take in when doing it and the exploration of what ever direction I could go it was always so liberating
12199176
I mean, technically we don't choose our "real" names for ourselves most of the time either. We get those picked out by our parents (or equivalent figures if necessary) when we're still too young to even quite know what words are yet, and so they're simply something we get used to very early. And that plain and simple conditioning/force of habit is, I think, why we rarely even stop to think about potentially changing them later in life.
Of course, that still doesn't (by our standards) give Twilight the right to just go and decide Jack should now be known as Solstice forevermore. She's not his parent or really any sort of authority figure to him; she's just his kidnapper, even if her culture may have in turn preconditioned her to see that differently, and Jack insisting on his human name as a matter of course would only be a pretty normal reaction. At the very least he'd have every reason to cling to his familiar identity in the privacy of his own head even if his efforts ended up just bouncing off of too many thick pony skulls otherwise.
12199350
i am not saying dictate the story.
buuuuuuuuuuuuuut the whole going across the world thing sounds amazing.
Welp. That happened. Let's see what happens next, shall we?
Coitado do jack
12199527
I've read a story about a male alicorn who was once a human and was a woman trying to find Celestia and Luna on a trip to some places, like, it was a great change of scenery from your average Equestria. I don't know how much of the world was shown in the show, I personally didn't watch much (some random episodes on TV, but no interest at all), but there are an infinite number of possibilities to write in what is not predefined outside of Equestria and the like.
12199464
I did think that ponies could ignore his efforts to say and reinforce that his name is no longer Jack. When I think about it I think that a very childish trick would be interesting: Make it clear that he wants to be called by his human name. Then If called by a name other than Jack, do not acknowledge or respond to any attempt to initiate interaction with him.
Nice
I'm so far interested in your story but I hope you have Jack resist and find a way to break the "marriage" with Twilight and not have him be broken like a.....well stallion.