• Published 16th Jan 2012
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A Whole New World - Van50608

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One Does Not Simply Pony Into Mordor

Chapter 18 One Does Not Simply Pony In Mordor.

Guys that guy asked for it so there will probably be no chapter on Sunday due to major grammatical editing. It has to be done. Also I Derped the chapters up that was tomorrows chapter so have two.

-Van

After stuffing ourselves with a ridiculous amount of icecream we went back to the castle for you guessed it makeup sex because everypony knows that makeup sex is the best sex. I'm I right haters?

The next morning we both woke up happily in each others arms. I was just happy that we were back together and that she wasn't pissed at me. That alone is worth more than all the icecream in Equestria and Earth combined. We both woke up snuggled for awhile and then got hungry and decided to grab some food, and on top of that I didn't get lost my day just seems to be getting better and better what could actually go wrong? Scratch that. That's a terrible question.

Within about five minutes we were sitting at the table eating our food. Princess Celestia and Blueblood were also present. Celestia started by saying " So I presume you guys had lots of Fun past last evening?".

I replied " Yes we did. Problem?". This time Blueblood spoke up in his fancy hoity toity voice and said "Do not to make aunt that way!".

I wittily replied " Do you want me to Sparta kick you of a bridge again and mess up your mane? You were pretty lucky that they let you off the hook for unfair assault". Now he looked scared he said in a whisper " Anything but my precious mane". The rest of the breakfast was eaten in silence aside from the fact that I was cracking jokes at Luna the while time so there was always the occasional giggle or something like that.

Soon breakfast was finished and Luna actually didn't have to do anything today so we decided that it would be a good idea to go to Ponyville for a day and just have some quality time together, but right as we were getting on the carriage I tried flicking Blueblood the bird, but then I realized that I didn't have fingers. Regardless he fainted and Celestia was shooting me a big smile so I'm pretty sure that it worked perfectly.

We arrived in about ten minutes as usual and thought it would be a good idea to go back to the house to grab a picnic basket so we could go eat at the park. When we approached the house I saw Grant arguing with a mare outside the house I saw the hat, the cape, and the cutie mark and I instantly knew who it was and ran to go tackle hug her as fast as I could. KABOOM! I hit her as hard as a truck on accident obviously

. You can't blame me I was to freaking happy she yelled " Who is this simpleton who dares to assault The Great And Powerful Trixie!?!".

Grant said " Thank god you tackled her she was being a massive bitch even more than Jacob when he's pissed and that's saying something. She even said one CAN simply pony into Mordor it's not possible!".

I retorted "Trixie isn't a bitch! She great and powerful, but one cannot simply pony into Mordor it's not possible". Trixie said "Thank Celestia someone appreciates Trixie's talent, and I have ponied into this Mordor many times over.".

Grant yelled "That's a lie and nopony loves your massive ego. Hell I'm pretty sure that our house is roughly one third the size of your massive ego".

He even pointed to our house for extra emphasis and our house was pretty fucking huge. Grant continued to say "I'm getting her out of here". And picked up his phone and began to call someone. All I heard was "Two minutes? Dude you owe me big time. Fine thirty seconds. I'll take it. Yes were even now. Alright hurry. Bye".

He hug up the phone and I looked at him and asked "Who was that?". He patted me on the shoulder and said " Don't worry about it". Just then Ghost Rider comes on his mother fucking death cycle and grabs Trixie by the skull and drives off. I just stare into the distance dumbfounded while Grant yells " That's right nobody can simply pony into Mordor! Bitch!".

Luna walks up beside me having seen the whole thing and says "Kinda harsh don't you think?". I said "Naw, it's Grant and nopony argues with him about what and what can (insert verb here) into Mordor".

She replied "Well that's interesting, but pets pretend this did happen and let's get our food". I said "Good idea". And we walked inside to assemble our picnic.

About half and hour half later we were finally ready to go and peacefully eat our picnic in the park. As soon as we arrived we sat down and saw that ponies were staring at us.

She said "Van, I'm not comfortable with all the ponies looking at us". I said "Well it looks like we will be eating on top of Ponyville dam where we can get some privacy". She said "That sounds perfect". And she nuzzled me and the second she did a shit ton of paparazzi appeared and we were hailed with a shower of flashes and camera ponies.

I yelled "Oh shit meet me there!". And with that we both teleported on top of the dam. She said "Well looks like were making headlines". I said "Whoppie! I'm celebrity!".

She said "Now's not the time to whoopieing Now's the time to think about how we could avoid the paparazzi so we can get back to your house because I'm dead tired from teleporting magic today especially because I had to track down one of my subjects that was stolen by Ghost Rider".

I said "Yeah that's my bad, but can we at least first? I'm pretty hungry". She replied "Sure why the hell not?".

I yelled in a playful voice "Atta girl let's eat".

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