THIS IS SPARTA
Chapter 13 THIS IS SPARTA!
"No way". I thought as she trotted in. My visitor was the one and only Octavia Philharmonica. (Squee!) She had apparently bought me dinner and bought me my saxophone to help cheer me up. She had wanted to see me after Vinyl had heard me playing up in my room while she was crossing the street on the way back from one of her gigs. I then noticed that she had brought her cello and she softly smiled at me and asked if I'd like to play with her outside.
I replied "Sure and we walked out onto the deck and unpacked our instruments and began to play pitch to pitch, note to note, harmony to melody, solo to chord solo, and finally finished with a soft decrescendo to quietly end our perfect piece. She smiled at me genuinely and said "Please come to Canterlot hall next week.
I have some people I'd like you to meet. Have a good night". And with that she trotted off and left me to stare at the moon and all of it's beauty.
The next week was very uneventful aside from the one interesting thing that happened. On Saturday we decided it would be a good idea to try on the Spartan 2 armor and walk around Ponyville.
The suit worked just like it said it would. Hell we even hit each other over the head with a katana to see if it really did anything. Though there was something new that came with the suit. Something the Spartans used but they didn't use. It came with a Xiophous short sword that glossed with superheated plasma when activated along with a spear similar to the sword and a shield that was made of titanium and had a waning moon on it. We decided that if we ever needed to fight it would be a good to fight in a phalanx because of it's efficiency. Because duh everyone has seen 300. Best movie ever. Though aside from that nothing else happened that week.
It was Monday morning and I had woken up at the crack of dawn and took the trip to Canterlot mainly because I hate being late and the fact that Luna .
She had promised me something special if I came early to spend some "Time" with her so all the more better for me. After about an hour trip and watching somepony fall asleep on a newspaper we arrived and I walked off the train and headed to Canterlot castle to see my little Lulu who really hates that nickname because she's taller than me.
Soon the castle was in sight and my hopes were getting up high along with my nerves becoming jumpy from all the press attention I've been getting. I from a distance I a blip at the entrance, but as I progressed I saw that the shape was none other than the fiend himself Prince Blueblood. I walked up to him to get into the castle he was standing at the entrance with the gate raised in shining royal armor.
He said in his snobby voice "Villain thou shall not have entrance to this castle". "Awww Hell no I thought". Then I got the best idea ever and I yelled "Bitch! THIS IS SPARTA!". And bucked him into the mote that was around the castle and then magiked the gate open as Prince Blueblood slipped beneath the waves. Only after I got in he raised himself out of the murky depths and silently muttered a curse for standing next to the mote and trotted off to the beauty salon to get his mane restyled.
I arrived in the castle to see Little notes and hints that eventually led to her room. When I walk in I see her laying on the bed only wearing her socks. So lets just say I had to flip my dolphin if you know what I mean which she happened to notice because I wasn't wearing pants and slid over so the fun could begin.
3 sessions and a shower later I happily walked out of Canterlot castle with a goofy grin on my face only to have it smashed by the sight of the prince with two guards to arrest me. But what Blueblood didn't know was I had an excuse ready. He said "Arrest him for assault". I replied "Nope can't do that because you see that room?".
I pointed to Luna's room. " I just banged her three times and were dating so that makes us brothers, and when were brothers you challenged my honor on the bridge so I Sparta kicked you therefore I win and I should have you arrested for unfair contest because you had armor.
The first guard said "That sounds fair. Arrest him for armored assault". He pointed a hoof to Blueblood who tried to make a run for it I yelled to him "Your just making it worse by resisting arrest!". And I was laughing my plot all the way to Canterlot concert hall.
A walked in to the hall. It was massive and Octavia was waiting for me she scowled "Your late. I hate late people".
I said "Sorry Prince Blueblood was being an enormous douche so I had him arrested". She looked shocked she asked "How in blazes did you do that?!?". We sat down and I recalled the while story to her except the sex.
Kind of had to leave that out. She just nodded and said "So now your an unofficial prince. Right?". I said "I guess so". She asked "Does the press know of your relationship?".
I replied "Yeah their so freaking annoying. I had to put stun grenade launchers outside the house to keep the press away". "Ouch". She said. "Yeah I replied". Then we sat there in awkward silence for awhile. Until I asked "Where are these people you want me to meet?". She said "Come with me their waiting in the other room".
With that we walked into the next room to see four ponies patiently awaiting my arrival.
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He deserved it.....and also...stun granades? I would figured a way to set up teleport traps to random bodies of (SAFE) water.
THIS IS EQUESTRIA!
If this was weed it would be good weed
186320
Better weed*
186339 BEST WEED EVEH
He said "Arrest him for assault". I replied "Nope can't do that because you see that room?". I pointed to Luna's room. " I just banged her three times and were dating so that makes us brothers, and when were brothers you challenged my honor on the bridge so I Sparta kicked you therefore I win and I should have you arrested for unfair contest because you had armor. The first guard said "That sounds fair. Arrest him for armored assault". He pointed a hoof to Blueblood who tried to make a run for it I yelled to him "Your just making it worse by resisting arrest!". And I was laughing my plot all the way to Canterlot concert hall.
My only real complaint about this chapter, how the hell are they still ALIVE and MOVING after using the MJOLNIR armor? That should have liquified their spleens and pulverised the skeletons!