Used to go by DarkThunder, now Doppler Effect. Profile art made by Julunis14
Thorax leaves Pharynx to handle the finer points of negotiation with a pony diplomat who is, ironically, extremely undiplomatic. Everyone involved is given reason to regret this decision.
A collaboration with SoloBrony.
Art by marsartist.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I am the pandemic pathogen of inspiration, spreading across your fanfiction website.
Hey buddy, I get it, and you are so real for it too.
Imagine having a chat with the Grand Marshal of a allied nation and he fucking injects a cicada scream into the middle of a sentence as an invective.
The image of Pharynx mutter to himself "Don't put the pony in a sack" over and over to control himself is fucking hilarious.
Oh boy. Oh boy! Homeboy has no room to talk!
[inhales]
Okay... okay...
Deep breaths.
For real though, knowing what I know about real world villainy, there is no way Sombra wouldn't have willing collaborators, so I am instantly giving this dude side-eye, but am otherwise waiting for the fic to cook - preferrably this dude. In a stew.
WOW! WOW! OH MY GOD! OH MY FUCKING GOD!
[screams in angry queer and anti-racist]
I mean, that did feel kind of like a plot hole the show never addressed, but also - wow, why didn't you do something about your psychotic, murderous demi-god mother? Clearly not fighting a potentially ancient shapeshifting sorceress capable of squaring off with Celestia in a punch up you've been conditioned to love and fear from birth makes you weak willed.
The changeling are the crystal ponies' burden, you see.
I considered going off on a tangent about quislings and logistics, but decided instead to merely point out that this particular Crystal Pony has one thing to apologize for; this shitty fucking 'tude.
Oh buddy. You fucked up.
Wait, shit, I thought this was a one-shot! You mean I have to fucking wait to see this sack of shit get owned like Mississippi valley in 1803?!
After all, most of the nefarious are usually smart enough to NOT say to their victims faces that they plan to go all imperialist on their butts, much less expect them to have no objections to that and instead be all for it. History suggests that usually does not end well.
The infuriating part though is that, as much as I deeply hate admitting it...the guy occasionally did stumble upon one or two good points in all of that. For all of the wrong reasons and intending to use it for worse still, so it by no means excuses him even in the slightest, but I begrudgingly have to concede that I can't deny there was a valid point behind them. Fortunately, all the rest of his arguments totally invalidates those points, so...I take comfort in that much.
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I am glad I made that parallel obvious enough :)
Glad you're enjoying the fic!
If learning history doesn't hurt, it must be a particularly odd point in history you're learning about!
spoiled honey? But honey doesn't spoil though....
The terror here is immaculate.
Hahahaha!
Pharynx reading The Peculiar Institution, grinning like the Nostalgia Critic, muttering "I'm get you, you son of a bitch."
Tell that to all those amateur anthropologists in the greater Arkham Massachusetts area in the 30s!
I have no idea what's going on anymore!
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This is the moment I remembered you're a historian and you understand just how devastating a well-placed history-lesson can be to an entire society.
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Haha, it's not like I constantly rewatch Atun Shei's Checkmate Lincolnites just to feel something.
Please don't keep us waiting any longer. What's going to happen next?
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Apologies, the middle of the week is very busy for me. I promise writing will happen tomorrow. And with how fast things go with me and Solo... You might have a chapter that night :)
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THE PROPHECY IS FULFILLED
Oh no...
Damn...
Jesus...
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Just in time too :>
You know, when I thought about all the horrible things Pharynx could do to teach the Crystal Ponies a lesson, uh, "collective nightmare about infanticide" was not on the list!
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Well he did promise it would be a history lesson about the Crystal Empire, so this was inevitable!
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Remember, it's only a few steps removed from comic cannon! smile
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No need to apologize, and thank you for the recent chapter. This is hardcore.
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Per Big Jim Fiendship is Magic #1 is canon to the show as well as they followed the old Star Wars canon rules and is one of the reasons I don't like the Crystal Empire and didn't like Cadance after she found out. Btw I was sort of expecting something along these lines but not in the way it was delivered. It's awesome.
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Real honey doesn't, but notice Pharynx specifies this would be fake stuff. I've had the fake stuff before. It spoils.
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Doppler and I both seem to be averse to stupid villains and strawmen, so Diamond is given the room to develop proper arguments and make a proper go of it. These problems wouldn't be so persistent in the real world if they had no persuasive power at all.
They better not underestimate Diamond Shine. This world if full of powerful artifacts. Not to mention creatures like Opaline who I'm sure would get along well with him.
All I can think about is that LazerPig quote where he relates that being a historian is being at a party, hearing the most dogshit take possible, and then been haunted by a choir of your ancestors demanding you do them honor by ramming a text book down the cretin's throat such that they choke.
Pharynx is living the dream. Green with envy, I am.
This dumb mother fucker. This bitch. This mo-ran. This slack-jawed mouth breathing imbecile. This gatcha-game player. This man who preorders triple-A games!
God didn't even need to harden his heart to guarantee the karmic punishments to continue. Homeboy just taking the bait himself like it's water in the desert.
[record scratch]
I was gonna say...
I just...
I don't even know where to begin with how wrong that take is!
Holy shit! There's, like, layers to that fucking diss. Mostly ones that make feel like Pharynx needs some therapy to deal with that internalized racism, but damn!
Discord: "Excuse you! I was "bred" by a fine pedigree of cosmic forces that predate the concept of differentiation!"
Goddamnit!
Buddy, mask is off. No need to stomp on it and throw the pieces down the street.
basedbasedbasedbasedbased
Keep this up, and they just might let Pharynx have his way with you without consequence.
Then stop proving him correct, dude.
This. Those who don't learn their history is doomed to repeat it. And prove themselves the bigger fools in the process.
Any politician who does not know their history--and I mean not just the history of their country but that of the world--should not be politicians at all, as they would not even begin to be qualified enough for it.
I like you, Flash.
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True, but depriving him of followers or resources also holds him back considerably, and the ponies, of any tribe, have been getting better about just leaving such artifacts lying around willy-nilly like that, so the danger isn't so immediate.
Besides, if Diamond DOES try something like that...then he'd only be proving Pharynx right. So even if he doesn't realize it, he does not stand to gain anything from it.
A big thank you to SoloBrony for this collab. It has been a huge learning experience and very fun!
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You are very welcome.
Can confirm.
What, guilt-tripping creatures into reforming doesn't count as inflicting trauma? Because you've definitely done that at least three times.
For now, while the memory is still fresh, at least. But future generations will still need reminding. They always do. That is why learning and teaching history IN FULL, no matter how much it hurts or is embarrassing, is so important--it helps ensure these lessons aren't forgotten.
Maybe it'd be your big chance to produce a play finally, Spike! Become not just Spike the Brave and Glorious Hero but also Spike the Wise and Eloquent Playwright!
What did he say that caused this reaction?
And can we get a sequel? WITH more history lessons by Pharynx?
They do get like that, yes.
Bro, rude!
Awww. He does care.
He really is becoming a historian, damn.
Holy shit. Someone call the Royal Guard, there's been a fucking murder.
... hehehahahahAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHA!
Like mother, like son!
This chapter just had me giggling, over and over.
This was a nice fic.
Man, Discord is the best when he's done well. Lost my sh*t here
Wonderful read from beginning to end. Loved it!