Jack Soulheart
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took over the story?
Yes the story is now my own, thanks to the permission of Shadow Quill
Me gusto
Oh shit we are so back
Thought she would be a pony
If you’d like I’ll send you a few of my favourite songs I think you said there would be a few differences with this than the original so if you like you can use the songs I or others can send to you
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bvokgEWzC1M&pp=0gcJCX4JAYcqIYzv
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bPPNPhJSb5Y
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kTWTImnJ29Y
This one is could be video on the phone I feel Octavia would love this one due to her playing the cello yeah it’s a violin but still
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y16Qg-R5lQw&pp=ygUZb3V0ZXIgc2Vuc2hpIHRoZW1lIHZpb2xpbg%3D%3D
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LbfWLlYpPgk
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oCRsCXN7WvQ&pp=ygUWc2FpbG9yIG1vb24gdGhlbWUgc29uZw%3D%3D
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ShJtoAa5e5s&pp=ygUOY3liZXJzaXggdGhlbWXSBwkJfgkBhyohjO8%3D
Since the human is solder I figure she would love this song heck maybe “ Duke” is the call sign on her dog tags hell it might even give Celestia ideas
12153928
Sorry for mid post but here’s the song
https://m.my only complaint is your switching perspectives. first chapter was the humans pov then chapter 2 was twi's. maybe go 3rd person? up to you ultimately but its good regardless
Since songs are being suggested here's a few I love that would be cool to see in next chapter
https://youtu.be/xXDC89tZ4IQ?si=1r8VabgpoWocU97S
https://youtu.be/t0Zbvtxb85I?si=Ox7ERPLn7YSkJukT
https://youtu.be/ZYAPgPH9hsI?si=dsjLsMpWWdWntsmS
Why are we posting music? lol thanks for all the music though, I make playlists all the time.
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDlDQ3lt5FcQSUeIPdc4Z4au4rmr01Tbw&si=aEfissiIbQq7lFqU
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDlDQ3lt5FcQLbkeU3fdWzT5sZm1Bi5ag&si=3EGybl4BXWFonFmy
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDlDQ3lt5FcQghEP0YeP4YOsLLQ0Rpof1&si=JXJMMwyH15EhvneU
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDlDQ3lt5FcS5BxhUSDLNaQSLuV0X2O-C&si=IqAvKR3i0d4BI96d
Here are some playlists some of you may be interested in. Enjoy and please share what you think of the story.
Hello all, you can continue adding Music ideas. There may be more music coming.
I really like this chapter I didn't spot one thing wrong here
can't wait for the next page
Wasn’t this chapter published once before?
12163761
I hope you’ll use the music I sent earlier
More song ideas
1:
https://m.I think trixie might get ideas if trixie and the human sees this anime
Case in point
https://m.I guess, ponies never had their own Roman Empire and advanced military camps
On original, it boggled my mind why she was worried about wireless medical hardware which is common for like, 25 years today. That's while she is from future and got a bionical leg. What could surprise her would be the absense of that annoying finger or nose clip of oxygenation/pulse sensor.
Now, the sarcastic me thinks that USA medical care supply industry in future is just as downthrodden and corrupt as today..
12163875
Lins is closer to Starlight than Trixie, in many ways
Yes all chapters have been published before. The author gave me permission to revive the story. But add my own twists here are there. Some changes are just edits. While others have more pact on the story.
What are some things that you as fans would be interested in reading as edits? Or new content and characters.
I really enjoyed this chapter and didn't find anything wrong either
Uhhh, she asked for help in the previous chapter...?
Ope, nevermind. I guess Fluttershy was the only one who understood her.
Don't tempt the pink one.
12167968
I think a fresh sweep through every chapter to fix minor spelling and typos would be a good start. Another thing that doesn't make sense to me is Sarah's fixation on her missing clothes; if you've ever been in an emergency and had to go to hospital, you'd know that they don't give two sh*ts about your clothing, and will literally cut it off you to save your life. Being an amputee, it would be expected that Sarah would have experience with hospitals, meaning that expecting to get her clothes back shouldn't even be something that she should consider. If anything, she should be asking for a hospital gown, or some new clothes to replace her old, bloody, torn ones. Also, in my opinion, I think her passing out after seeing Twilight for the first time is a little over dramatic; Sarah was in the military in active combat, so I would expect her to have other ways of coping with seeing something new for the first time. Maybe a traumatic episode, like a panic attack brought on by PTSD.
She rolled her eyes at herself?
12183761
Could you say what chapters your edits are in. If possible. I thank you for your help. But it’s hard to know what chapter your edits have came from.
12183741
Yes, I’m planning on going back through again. But I’m looking for someone who could edit, and or help for free. It’s a struggle now days to find free services. I can only edit so much. With my own knowledge. Having an extra eye always helps. Thank you for pointing out some of the problems.
12185878
Sure! Chapter 4 and 5 for the clothing thing, and Sarah's fainting episode occurred in chapter 4 just before the line break, about halfway through the chapter.
I'm pretty sure the "rolled her eyes at herself" is from chapter 5.
12186145
Changers made
I rolled my eyes at myself, and said bluntly “All right wise guy, you’ve had your fun. Can we get over with so I can get out of this place? I’m starting to go a little stir crazy sitting in this room all day.”
12186145
The other parts you requested, might need a rewritten or taken out from the story. But I’m unsure of how to write it off, and or change what happened. I’m trying to stay as close to the original story as possible but have edits that make it more readable or realistic.
Your edit ideas, are exactly what I needed for edits. But my problem is; I’m a writer not an editor. I only know how to write a story not reword a story or make a different style to a specific part… I’m also not the original author, and copping an author style is hard. I may have permission to revive and edit the story but I also want to stay true to what the author wrote, to the best of my ability.
I have been, requesting editors for awhile. If you’re interested in helping more, I could higher you. But it would be for free… since at the moment I have no way of paying someone. Except a character role in the story and credits in the summary and Author notes.
12186173
No worries, I'm just making suggestions. Ultimately, it's just my opinion, so if you feel like you shouldn't change the story too much, I understand completely. I can't really help with editing, because I have a busy life of my own (I've tried editing for other people before... It didn't go well), but I'm more than happy to bring whatever small grammatical and spelling mistakes I happen to see to your attention as I come across them. I'll try to put the chapter number, and the relative area in my comments. Enjoying the story so far, keep up the good work!
12186199
Thanks man, I’ll be posting chapters randomly. I’m also going to go back and look through chapters I’ve posted to look for more errors. I’m really wanting this story to be great. It’s already more popular than anything else I’ve worked on or wrote.
I'm rather surprised you didn't change Octavia's reaction to the TWO Cellos one, considering how she acted in the show when she was making music with Vynl, she isn't really opposed to going just as hard on her cello as the two guys here.
Still loving the story of course, I loved it when it first came out, and I'm loving you restoring it, so keep up the great work! <3
12188438
Yeah, I love that idea. Because I love modifying the reactions but keeping the story similar to the original
Wich is how I’ve been editing. Well except for grammar and punctuation edits. That weren’t much needed since tge original author was amazing and gave me the doc with edits they never added…
I want to thank you all, for reading my edit and revival of this story story.
Also thank you guys, for adding it to your library and leaving a like. It lets me know you enjoy reading my edits, and this amazing story. I got the pleasure to continue and edit to my hearts content.
Just working on a story, that I enjoyed reading in the fandom, has been a great experience. But seeing so many people enjoying it has made it better.
This story has became my most popular story. But please don’t forget to check out what else I have created. And please give a read the original authors work.
Love this fandom. And have a great day.
It's still alive!
12232552
Yes, lol