This is fun. This and that evil moonmare fic are a welcome nightmare moon romance newfic duo.

the comedy in this fic is perfection, keep it up!

You know why I still read horse words after like 13 years? Fics like this.

12151813
Your profile picture is Brutal

...What is the legality of casting emotion manipulation spells on people without their consent? Seems... rapey.

Funni Green Day Reference. Approved.

"If I get one more complaint on my desk about your unauthorized use of mind control spells on non-consenting civilians..."

"They're love spells and they're perfectly legal —"

Whatever helps you sleep at night, heartbutt.

More seriously, I actually like this Cadance. The whole "Princess of Love" shtick makes it easy to forget at times that she's also "just" the pony who foalsat Twilight and date(s|d) Shining Armor, and it's good to see that side of her, too.

Hopefully for Anon the summer sun celebration is soon.

The fact I recognize where your pfp comes from tells me I should probably take a break from this site and go outside some more lol

"Oh, goddamn it!"

So will he gorge himself on magic blueberry juice and develop magic powers and dreamwalking ? hah !

Thank you for writing !

12151875
Well, usually it's in the "il" section of legality, but being a Princess means you can pretty much get away with murder.

12152257
"What are they gonna do? Arrest a princess?"
-Sparkle. Twilight

She puts down her notepad. "I'd say it's lack of sex that's bringing you down."

Y'know why do I get the feeling you were listening to Green Day writing this lol.

"Y'know what I think it is?" Princess of Love, Mi Amore Cadenza, aka Cadance, aka your employer and good friend, says to you over a hayburger. "I think your life's a bore."

Ah this one too lol. The basketcase is strong with this one.

Yup. This is hot, and this is hilarious. Awesome work so far!

12152339
Double banishment

Look for a mental healthcare professional.

To analyze my dreams...

She puts down her notepad. "I'd say it's lack of sex that's bringing you down."

I went to a whore...

"Y'know what I think it is?" Princess of Love, Mi Amore Cadenza, aka Cadance, aka your employer and good friend, says to you over a hayburger. "I think your life's a bore."

So quit my whining cuz it's bringing her down

Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm cracking up
Am I just paranoid
A-yeah yeah yeah

Grasping to... Oh, fuck this shit! I’m gonna play a fucking new song, fuck this shit.

Give me a fucking break, one minute left. One minute fucking left. You’re gonna give me one fucking minute? Look at that fucking sign right there — one minute. Let me fucking tell you something, let me tell you something, I’ve been around since fucking 198-fucking-8. And you’re gonna give me one fucking minute? You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me! You’re fucking kidding me, what the fuck! I’m not fucking Justin Bieber, you motherfuckers. You’ve gotta be fucking joking. This is a fucking joke. I got one minute — one minute left. Oh, now I got nothing left. Let me show you what one fucking minute fucking means.

[smashes guitar]

One minute. God fucking love you all. We’ll be back.

lol

for anyone who doesn't get it, it's a reference to Billie Joe's 2012 meltdown at the iHeartRadio music festival, please don't report/ban me for it.

12152373
They totally were.

12151876
Agreed.

Glorious fic, keep making more!

my cakes are not flat

So. Taking a deep breath, you open up your big yellow book of contacts and addresses (because they still have those, here), and do the one thing your degenerate ass has never done in the entirety of your brainrotted gooner internet-addict life:
Look for a mental healthcare professional.

Wow, Anon IS desperate!

"I mean, it's definitely too fast, right? I've only had that dream for a month, and people — er, ponies — get married after, what, at least a year of dating, usually? I mean, that's gotta be the cutoff point, right?" You ramble on the weird couch, staring at the ceiling. "Not to mention the long-distance relationship. I mean, the moon's pretty far away. How are we supposed to figure out real estate options together?"

After that line I half expected his therapist to be a time-traveling Discord because why not.

"Your Cadance would never service thee so!" Luna giggles drunkenly, flicking her tongue across your tip rapidly, "Only Luna is good enough for thee, is she not?"

I mean, Cadence being Cadence in some fics....she not only would do that, but some other things, too. Including M/M/M/Her using the Mirror Pool, and a threesome with her sister in law, and one instance where she painted herself to LOOK LIKE her sister in law. But there's nothing to say that THIS version of her would do something like that.

For the first week, it was awesome, but ponies are starting to talk. And sniff the air, and make a face, and trot away quickly. And that's embarrassing! What if they think you wet yourself every morning? What if they think all humans just wet themselves? You can't represent your species like that. And also, it's starting to feel kind of lame: you can't pull any horse bitches, so you gotta dream up a tulpa or something like that? Fuckin' weirdo.

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"Y'know what I think it is?" Princess of Love, Mi Amore Cadenza, aka Cadance, aka your employer and good friend, says to you over a hayburger. "I think your life's a bore."

"What's with everyone just insulting me to my face, today?" You accuse her, pointing a french fry at her face.

Oooffff

ohhhhh mannnnnnnn