• Published 18th Oct 2012
  • 3,041 Views, 204 Comments

OH JESUS! - Chuckward

  • ...

Jimmy neutron isn't in this chapter.

Before I begin this chapter I'd like to say this. I wrote the first chapter at midnight, when I woke up I felt very sick. Maybe a certain deity wasn't too happy with me. Oh well, my motto is " If you break it you buy it" and I'm pretty sure that's applicable in some way at this point. I almost included a disclaimer for this story, but then I remembered that I didn't want to.

The next pony to approach Jesus was the angry looking orange one in the stetson.
"Now what in tarnation did you do that for ya friggin' varmit," she screamed.
"Wow,"Jesus replied," that's the lamest fake accent I've ever heard. What's your name anyway?"
"My accent is not fake," she yelled, steadily growing even angrier," and my name is Apple-"
"Apple? That's a stupid name, what kind of loser parents name their kid apple?"
"My parents are dead."
"Well if you ask me, I think they got what they deserved, anyone who names their kid apple deserves to burn in hell."
"MY NAME ISN'T APPLE," Apple screamed before lunging at Jesus with the intent to kill.

Jesus simply stepped to the side, avoiding the attack, then he dashed towards Apple and sent her flying with a vicious uppercut.
"SHORYUKEN," Jesus shouted as he began to descend from his epic attack. He looked at Apple's trajectory and calculated the exact point where she would land with his Jesus math and ran to that spot, where he caught Apple and threw her in the direction that Fluttershy and blue pony had went, then he returned to the remaining two ponies.

The purple one was the first to speak up.
"Why are you doing this to my friends,"she cried,"they never did anything to you."

"I'm pretty sure that Fluttershy looked at me crossways."
"Oh, well in that case I forgive you, I really need to teach that pony some manners."
So Purple pony also ran off in the general direction of where Jesus assumed Fluttershy had gone.

"Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie."
Jesus jumped, startled by the loud noise. He turned to the Pink equine.

This is gonna be so easy,Jesus thought to himself,"There is absolutely no way that this pony can keep up with the things I'm about to say.

Pinkie simply grinned.