• Member Since 17th May, 2016
  • offline last seen 56 minutes ago

Moonking


Praise the moon and the princess

Comments ( 78 )

Interesting idea you got here, man. But what are you going to do with the elements?

Interesting start. One edit suggesting would be to put it in bold or use the


between scene transitions.
For example with.

Daring nodded as she finally let herself fully relax, and she fell asleep.

With Celestia two days later

Celestia and her guard flew through the iron hoof mountains with a reinforced carriage. It had a set of

Change it to.

Daring nodded as she finally let herself fully relax, and she fell asleep.


With Celestia two days later:

Celestia and her guard flew through the iron hoof mountains with a reinforced carriage. It had a set of

Well thus far this story is interesting and off to a good start

Looking forward to see how this character Forge Shield develops as the story go and looking forward to seeing how he will react to the modern mlp world and what he will do and teach in it and adjust to the change of time. And his reaction to learn what has became of the changelings from his time to the modern day and whenever he meets Chrysalis should be fun to watch when the time comes around. As well looking forward to see what from the long gone past he will share and tell to the modern day and how it will effect it and the people in both good and bad ways

Yeah Im not surprised hes being disappointed by the modern day and with Celestia and how she handled thing poorly thus far. Im eager to see what he will speak to her and Luna about after he helps her and teach them what it truly means to be a alicorn. Gonna be quite a journey for them both to actually learn of their tribe from someone who grew up and lived in that era

And this mentioning of a male supremacy group sounds interesting and hope we get some lore on that later on and looking forward to seeing how Forge handles said group and if he needs to put them in his place

Yeah Celestia's plan to bring the elements of harmony and eventually turn Twilight into a alicorn, wonder how Forge will react to that and if hes against that or not, seems completly unnecessary now but they likely will happen anyway with the gems coming back and the M6 coming together

Keep up the good work and hope to see more soon

12144027
Who knows they either would still come but not needed as much or used in a different way or wont come back at all or at least not till a later date and Forge had a hand in bring them back

I don't want to be a nag but you misspelled revealed you spelled reviled and shocked you spelled shoved

12144200
Hey, no offense, but that seems like nitpicking. The guy seems to have improved his grammar. I understand, pointing it out, but come on, man. Don't be a grammer nazi over the little details.

grammar Nazi? I wasn't picking out grammar mistakes they're different words.

1# Celestia smiled as she used her magic to melt the rest of the snow. After a few seconds, he was reviled, and Celestia looked him over

"reviled" means to subject to verbal abuse or to criticize someone strongly. It often implies a strong disapproval or condemnation of someone or something. For example, a person or idea can be widely reviled by a community for various reasons. Synonyms include hated, criticized, and condemned

2# Celestia hummed as she stepped forward, and he moved back. She quickly melted the snow, and what was revealed shoved them all. On the ground,

that is one mean statue to shoved them to the ground like that so how did the statue pull off pushing them over like that? I'm pretty sure then he meant shocked.


hay moonking good story so far keep it up I can't wait to see more.

Hey, let's not throw out words like grammar Nazi Asher blade and sleepy wolf I understand but my grammarly recommended those words. I'll go back and fix them, but let's not go starting anything, it's just a story.

12144412
I hope this story doesn't die after a few chapters like it usually does.

For a second there I thought it was an update from iAmSiNnEr

12144601
He's gone, mate. I had hopes as well, but at least this one looks cool so far.

Aaaa yoooi this is actually gonna be fire let’s maybe his like the shield hero from that one anime

Una

I'll watch it for now, but the Anthro tag has really killed it for me.

12144709
I mean that is rather ironic since your profile picture is a pony with wings that looks humanoid

Thank you for the chapter this story looks promising I hope the next chapter comes out really soon

I'm wondering how long before he will explode when he keeps seeing a lot of mistakes. But I'm kind of glad the fact is that in this story Luna's nightmare personality was a part of her and didn't have to use the elements of harmony.

I got two general dislikes about this. I generally have a problem when it comes to Cannon rewriting. Also, the spelling needs to be work done before the next update. If you need an editor, there are two awesome programs that I use for spelling, correction and just general help for adding or removing details that are unnecessary. My recommendations are grammarly, and chat gpt. Believe it or not chat gpt can summarize and it'll definitely allow you to get the gist of a chapter and allow you to see if you need to add or remove anything. I wouldn't use it as an end-all be all writing tool, but grammarly is also a great tool that you can use for free. Just for general spelling and error checking grammarly is POG

12145058
Yeah he’s gonna be a ticking time bomb waiting to blow when he sees all the flaws in the modern day. Gonna be interesting to see how he will show them how to do things the right way and change things up for better or worse

Am I the only one who gets massive Gary stue vibes from the red and black alicorn oc? I mean isn't his appearance literally what the cursed form of the protagonist in "consequences of unoriginality" looked like. The fic that parodied Gary stues.

12145518
I've been gone for a while, is that an old fic or new?

An interesting idea

12145524
It came out like ten years ago. Give it a read really great fic.

12145682
Thanks for the recommendation I'll look into it.

Hey Moonking just wondering but what made you want to make this story, what was your inspiration if I may ask?

12145900
Sure, I was thinking a mix of the shield hero and a anime I watched to on YouTube. The main character could use any magic he had used on him. Can't remember its name but it was good. But it followed the basic izaki theme. I think he had a demon wolf wife and was training female knights if anyone knows what I'm talking about.

12146019
Ah I see and yeah I think I know which one you mean, can’t exactly remember the name of that anime, not really watched it besides come clips, but I think it involves “Reincarnated with OP Powers” or something like that

I would love to see he reactions that hear about the tree of harmony and the element of Harmony his reacting will be the most I think funny thing to see and I would love to him take and teach Twilight Rune magic I can already imagine Twilight sparkles in her eyes ready to learn ancient forgotten magic

12146019
If it were up to me, I would make him something like Doom Slayer from the upcoming Doom The Dark Ages.

Another chapter well done and good on getting some more lore here

Such as the male suppression group, wonder how long it will be until Forge starts cracking skull of the groups members. This hidden library of ancient magic knowledge which gonna be interesting with when it will be found and if in another territory and if anyone found it before and studied the magic. Which I have little suspicion the caribou might know of it

And what had become of the changelings and what Celestia has done to said race. Bet that’s when Forge finally explodes and REALLY lay it on Celestia on how she and Faust screwed up and are failures. If Celestia wants to start being on his hood side and eventually have his kids then she better shut it, suck it up and go with what changes he deems needed to happen in this era

Looking forward to seeing when Chrysalis comes in and how the meeting between her and Forge goes as well how she and Celestia will interact

I’m hoping later on we see Forge ask/demands to see Fausts grave which I bet he will say/rant on how disappointing he is of her and what she has done and how much she failed. And suspect if it happens he will spit on her grave or use his sword, magic or bare fists to destroy the tombstone or whatever is above the grave

thanks for the chapter.

Nice real nice can't wait for the next chapter 👍

“Scarab became the high queen?! The queen of queens!? How did the quiet and shy little wall flower climb to the top of the royal hierarchy?!”

Probably by being quiet and staying out of the way until all the lings who were fighting for the throne were dead and gone I’m more interested in if scarab is still alive.

“Celestia, Luna wasn’t taken over by anything! She was infused with so much raw magic at birth, so when her body and magic began to awaken fully, her body, magic, and mind would be altered for a short time. But, there has to be a trigger that starts it. When that happens, a second personality can temporarily take over, allowing her body and mind to reconstitute. If you had known that and let it run its course, she’d been fine in a matter of days to a week at most! Her body and mind needed time! If you used magic to seal her away somewhere it may have stopped it, she’ll be even more unstable if she gets free! You only made a short-term problem into a real threat!”

So Luna went through magical puberty?

all the thingh nightmare was just the emo phase of luna mdr

Well good to see Luna is back and quite a twist with her background here with who her father is. Wasn’t expecting that but I welcome it and do look forward to when we see her again and interacting with Forge. As well not bad with changing her look from canon

Smart on Forge getting the old castle and giving it a remodel and renovations and looking forward to seeing the end results

Good he’s getting along with Twilight but I suspect eventually he will need to teach her restraint on her thirst for knowledge and her desire will get her into big trouble that will get on his nerves and disappointment

How much longer until the next chapter is gonna be published? No rush, I just want to know that's all.

12167794
almost done with it either tonight or tomorrow.

12167806
That's good. I'm loving it soo far.

I was thinking of doing something similar for a future story of mine involving a human getting isekai'd as an quadruped alicorn before being turned into stone for 5 thousand years with the memories of his human life. This human worked at Hasbro since FIM aired on TV up until 2029 that he decided that his current life is not worth it and somehow gets isekai'd into the world of FIM in the past of when Faust was just a little filly.

I'm curious if Sombra will be a woman or have a sister in this story and that the Umbrum race exists here.

Very nice chapter, love that the hive will be moving to equestria.

Comment posted by DragonWolfKing deleted April 28th

Chrysalis weapon between a whip or a Rapier.
Zecora weapon spear or staff made of wood or metal.

Forge repensa rapidement à la longévité des poneys à son époque. Les poneys terrestres vivaient jusqu'à mille huit cents ans au plus, les pégases environ deux mille ans, et les licornes jusqu'à deux mille ou deux mille trois cents ans. À l'inverse, les alicornes pouvaient vivre au moins dix mille ans avant de montrer les premiers signes de vieillissement.

why earth pony live shorter than pegasi i thought their are the durable one

12169126
Less overall magic in the earth pony body as they're naturally sturdy, not magically sturdy.

12169136
i thought because they a robust they will live longer and damn you really give pony a long live

Another chapter well done and good on the lore abought what happened to the Changelings and how much more of a failure Faust is. Bet if she was still alive Forge would be strangling her The Simpsons style. And Celestia is right Faust only made more problems and messes that her daughters and future generations has to deal and try to clean up. But with Forge they will be much more easily dealt with

Good to see the new fort is coming along nicely and cant wait to see when its finished. Excellent choices of pictures used here and hope we will see Celestias halberd pic in the next chapter

Smooth with Forge telling Luna she would of had loads of Alicorn stallions fighter over her if any where still around. Defiantly getting points from her on that. And bet in the near future we will see the girls try and gain Forges attentions and affection and will fight each other for that and try to one up each other

My guess is the wheels of fate are turning for both a brighter age and a age of chaos, just need to go with the flow and deal with any problems as they come around. And one being ponies who wont change their views on the Changelings and try to bring harm to them only to be deleted from life by Forge who will show no mercy to any who will find out when they fuck around

For the weapons suggestions I say Zecora has a sort of spear/staff like weapon. Chrysalis I say either one or a pair of short swords or daggers or has a whip sword or a rapier sword or one or a pair of khopesh swords

Thanks for the chapter

Login or register to comment